https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 01:04:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-5109 Wed, 19 Oct 2011 07:35:19 +0000 Andrea 5109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dorytina - let us know if the book helps. I have read The Happiest Baby on the Block and that did help a little in the newborn days. My daughter has also been going a bit nuts lately and I need some survival tips, too!!</p> <p>Btw, I have followed your blog but have been what they call a lurker, I guess? Lol. Glad to be "chatting" with you here. RJ is such a cutie...hard to imagine the demon side coming out but it's the same with my LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4699 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 21:50:51 +0000 mrs. wagon 4699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrslily I'm home with him one day a week, he's at daycare all day 4 days a week, and then weekends are with mommy and daddy. He apparently does great at daycare, and when people come over he's fantastic... but when it's just mommy and daddy he goes crazy. I do realize more and more that he's very frustrated at not being able to express himself. We try to talk him through the tantrums more. </p> <p>He's also always been a big eater, but some nights I do let him just eat a few bites as he's running around or just a yogurt and call it a night. </p> <p>I think I am beginning to accept that kids are just like this, and I need to just figure out a way to survive. </p> <p>Thanks again everyone for your encouragement. I just ordered "The Happiest Toddler on the Block", a recommendation from the same friend who recommended "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" to me for sleep training. That book worked wonders, mostly just for my emotional state, so hopefully this one will too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4672 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 21:14:31 +0000 mrslily 4672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dorytina - what time do you eat dinner and put him to bed? Do you think maybe dinner time could be too late?</p> <p>I'll say from my experience its a phase. I have 3 kids- 4, 2 &amp; 1<br /> all are quite small in size 3%-5%, but my husband and I are not big people so I dont have much expectations as long as I know they are eating and healthy.<br /> My oldest would throw tantrums during dinner because he didn't want to eat or didnt like what he was offered and before bed and most of the time he would throw up from them. But I realized before he threw up he made a face as if he was making himself throw up, he knew that we would feel bad for him and baby him afterwards. So i tried someones advice, its kinda harsh, give him a bucket and tell him if you need to throw up throw up in here, and if you throw up on the floor you gotta clean it up. Our Daycare actually says that to them too. He never threw up again. </p> <p>My 2 yr old went through the same thing and is still going through it, but shes a lot better now. Its a power struggle at two , its about what they want and what they can get. Their teachers at day care tell me that they always participate and have good days and are happy kids but I never see that when I get home from work. Are you a SAHM? </p> <p>My kids are better when we're on vacation or i'm home with them, there are a lot of factors to the tantrums. </p> <p>A lot of times when they start to cry or throw a tantrum at home I tell them to take a time out for themselves, it will be better than if mommy gets mad or upset and puts you in a time out. So then they usually walk away and whimper a lil and come back fine. </p> <p>every child is different, dont give up. At 2 its very hard for them to express themselves </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4505 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 14:04:33 +0000 Andrea 4505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dorytina - try not to feel too frustrated, my LO always seems to misbehaves more for us than at day care, too. it's just a different environment at day care where there aren't as many things that are off limits since it's a space designed for them to play all day. but we as parents naturally have to take them to the store, etc where there are a lot more limits to what they are allowed to do so of course that will lead to tantrums. at least i don't think they have anything personally against us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4496 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 13:36:25 +0000 mrbee 4496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I take Charlie lots of places, but my rule now is to always be somewhere where I could potentially leave within 10 seconds. So if something happens, I can just grab Cha Cha and flee the building and totally change his environment. That means he doesn't have any power over me.</p> <p>I swear, before he would somehow sense when I was weak and pounce by throwing a tantrum!</p> <p>I dunno if tantrums are personality based... Charlie throws the exact same tantrums! Since I stopped taking him to the grocery store though, it's gone down by so much that it's crazy (in a good way). Also if he throws them at home, I do that trick from above where I just grab him and go outside. So far, so good... although I'm sure he's planning a counterattack soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4486 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 13:02:51 +0000 mrs. wagon 4486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh and yes, it makes me even more frustrated to know that he's totally capable of behaving well and having a good time doing so, but he chooses not to with us. :( We always say he has Rob Sr.'s passion with my stubbornness, which is a pretty lethal combo... Rob is passionate but will give in really easily, and I'm stubborn but oftentimes don't care enough to put up that much of a fight. Looks like we've got the worst of both worlds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4485 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 13:00:13 +0000 mrs. wagon 4485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So far ZERO reports of tantrums from daycare. They say he is a cheerful, happy boy all day long. I think the constant activity and being surrounded by other kids distracts him enough. I think I'm realizing now that retail locations are now off limits as well. Where else do you take Charlie? The other day we spent an hour in another suburb in the town center, and he had a good time just exploring the sidewalk, climbing on and off the bench, and saying hi to people. I'm thinking we'll just do that for weekend activities from now on... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4465 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 11:58:15 +0000 mrbee 4465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Charlie threw some tantrums over the weekend too. I'm learning that a huge part of managing tantrums is controlling where I take him. Until he gets better behaved, I can never ever take him to a grocery store or retail shop. That realization is limiting our freedom, but it's also helped to reduce tantrums by 80%.</p> <p>Do you know if he's throwing tantrums at daycare? If not, then maybe that's a sign that he's capable of behaving well... but is choosing not to? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4463 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 11:47:07 +0000 mrs. wagon 4463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for the amazing, helpful suggestions. We've been trying a lot of different things, and so far it seems like a few are helping, but this past weekend was tantrum city. I think we're doing better at dealing with them, but there's just no way to avoid them and they erupt out of nowhere and escalate so quickly. For instance, we were in Costco and he didn't want to be in the cart, so we let him out to run around. Unfortunately, he found an electric guitar (he's OBSESSED with guitars) and wanted to play with it. We ended up letting him play with it, and he was thrilled but also frustrated because it was too heavy for him to lift. We had to leave so we tried to draw him away with other toys (and even ended up buying a leapfrog my first leaptop) but of course nothing could trump the guitar. He had a total meltdown, screaming bloody murder, and even though Rob Sr. took him outside he could not. calm. down. By the time he was calm enough to be excited about the leaptop it was like 20 minutes later. He spent the first 10 minutes playing with it, still hiccuping from crying, and every time he hiccuped he would think of the guitar again and almost start crying again.</p> <p>PLEASE someone tell me this is a phase... and a quick one!! He is throwing anywhere between 6-10 major tantrums a day. I am totally exhausted and I could NOT wait to get him to daycare today!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4384 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 20:06:28 +0000 bykes187 4384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh goodness. I have not gotten here yet (22 month old) and I am so afraid of this phase. Can you make it through the antibiotic phase, get him all well again, and then try to be strong and let him cry? I totally understand not wanting to undermine his medication at this point, but I think you'll only make it worse long term if you continue giving in. My FIL is a family counselor and his favorite resource for misbehaving kids is 1-2-3 Magic by Dr. Thomas Phelan. <a href="http://www.parentmagic.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.parentmagic.com/</a> I hope this helps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4310 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:07:28 +0000 Honeybee 4310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did you notice that it got worse when he got an ear infection? I've noticed that the amount of whining/crying/tantrums immediately increases if DD is not feeling well or teething. We've had days and even weeks where she acts like this and I think, "Where did my sweet baby go?" before she finally gets over whatever it is that is bothering her and starts acting normal again.</p> <p>When DD has these times, we use a few different methods. First, we try to identify her emotion and explain the situation (e.g. "It seems that you are angry at mommy because she took you off the couch. We only sit on the couch.") </p> <p>Then, we'll ask if she needs a hug or wants to cuddle with one of her stuffed animals. Remember that tantrums are hard on kids, too, because they literally cannot control of their emotions. Furstration, anger, sadness, etc... can be overwhelming for them and they need your guidance to teach them how to deal with these emotions. Sometimes, DD just needs a hug (from us or her big bear) and that's all it takes to calm her down.</p> <p>If she's still crying after this, we'll use distraction and completely leave the area. I'll say something like "DD, I'm going to go into the kitchen and give the dogs a treat. When you're calmed down, you can come help me!" And then I walk away. When she stops crying and calms down, I'll follow up by reminding her about whatever started the tantrum (e.g. we can only sit on the couches) and a big hug and then we do whatever activity I previsouly mentioned.</p> <p>I've also noticed that if DD is starting to get whiney, I need to switch her activity to something more interesting. If she's bored, she'll get into these whiny/tantrum-throwing cycles where it seems like she's a disaster until bedtime. If I notice she's starting to throw tantrums about everything, we go do something completely different (outside is really popular, or moving to the window to watch the birds, if it's too cold outside). That usually helps bring her out of it, for a while, anyway. :)</p> <p>Last thing, if you notice he's throwing tantrums specifically about certain activities/items (e.g. bedtime or eating dinner), try to make a routine out of it. Something like: Dinner - First we set the table (he helps). Then, we wash our hands. Then we sit in our chairs around the table and say a prayer. Next, we eat our food. When everybody is done, we say "all done" and we get out of our chairs. Finally, we take all the dirty dishes off the table and put them on the counter (he helps). </p> <p>Every night you use the exact same routine, and for the first few nights, keep explaining the steps and the order throughout dinner. After a few nights, you can ask him what comes next ("Ok, we set the table. Now what do we do?"). It will be tough at first, and then should get easier and easier, as he learns what to expect and becomes an active participant in the activity. We've done this with DD for bedtime (using the same bedtime routine since she was a newborn) and now she'll actually tell us when she's ready for bed. She knows the routine because it's the exact same every night, and she can actually tell us (or show us) what comes next. She's taken ownership in it, so she doesn't feel like we're pushing her do something when she doesn't want to.</p> <p>ETA: Geez, I didn't mean to write a book! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4290 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 10:33:02 +0000 mrs. wagon 4290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Rock n Roll, thanks for the suggestion. I think stressing that the distraction has to be COMPLETELY different is a huge thing. You're right-- I try to offer him something similar and he freaks out. Rob Sr.'s way of dealing with it is to stand in front of him and "wait for him to calm down". That drives me crazy. When I tell him to do something, he half-heartedly offers him whatever he's been attempting to offer him during the tantrum. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4289 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 10:29:06 +0000 Rock n Roll 4289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter will be two next week and I use the Mr. Bee method. Not necessarily going outside, but distracting with something TOTALLY different. For example, my daughter is obsessed with fruit roll-ups right now, and I'm fine with letting her have one, but then she always wants another and throws a fit. There's no use in mild distractions (like offering her another snack instead) I have to take her to do something completely different, like play outside, go to the playroom, give her a bath, or watch a favorite movie. It's that complete change of environment and interaction that calms her. And if you think about it, adults do the same thing- when we're stressed or upset, we get out of the situation and calm down somewhere else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4288 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 10:21:22 +0000 mrs. wagon 4288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mr. Bee, taking him outside is actually a great tip. I do worry since we live on a busy street, but no reason he can't chill out on the deck or in the front driveway and explore our next door neighbor's steps and such. I will definitely try that next. Pumpkin hunts sound awesome-- RJ loves pumpkins too. Or, "puh-kees".</p> <p>I'm all for CIO for nap/sleep training, as it worked for RJ and he's great at falling asleep on his own now (even when he regresses when he's sick, like he just did... took less than 2 days to get back to normal) but I just can't have him throw up, especially when it's been such a struggle to get him to eat, and especially right after he's taken his antibiotics for his ear infection. </p> <p>I'm eager to keep reading responses from experienced toddler moms and dads!!! Please keep them coming!!! Any little suggestions are greatly appreciated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4282 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 09:47:09 +0000 anewme 4282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD is only 7 months so we have a little bit of time before we reach that dreaded stage. There has to be a better method<br /> Than just letting them cry it out. I'm starting to realize<br /> That CIO just doesn't work for some babies, like my nephew. If we let him CIO, he will just continue to cry and cry and it only<br /> Gets worse. </p> <p>I like mr.bees method I guess we just have to continuously get creative. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4281 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 09:38:42 +0000 tequiero21 4281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i don't have kids so sorry, can't help you there, but it seems like since you keep giving in, he'll continue to do what he does to get what he wants. i'm thinking you just have to let him cry it out and let him realize he's not gonna get what he wants just because he cries and screams. better to do it at home when no one else is around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4277 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 08:50:48 +0000 mrbee 4277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Charlie has started doing this. So now in the evenings, I take him out of the house and tire him out with loads of walking. We go on "pumpkin hunts", where we walk by houses and shout "pumpkin!!!" if we see one. He immediately forgets what he was just fixated on.</p> <p>If he throws a fit, I try distraction first and then if that doesn't work, I take him outside immediately if I can. It's helped a ton, and cut down on tantrums overall.</p> <p>Good luck with your cute little demon!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whinycrying-toddlers#post-4275 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 08:38:47 +0000 mrs. wagon 4275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There was a post a few days back about how to distract toddlers during diaper changes... and it reminded me that I wanted to post this question. I know RJ is entering the "terrible twos" but he is just so incredibly whiny and cries a lot lately. We end up letting him eat dinner while running all around and we give him pretty much anything he wants (remote controls, smartphones, glass salt/pepper shakers, etc) because if we don't, he immediately begins to cry hysterically and almost always throws up. I've tried distraction but he violently pushes away anything that you try to hand to him or show him. Once you finally offer him the thing he originally wanted, he grabs it and gleefully smiles, laughs, and runs away with it with huge tears still hanging in his eyes and all over his face.</p> <p>Dinnertimes are almost always a disaster (he ends up eating so little) and bedtime is becoming difficult too... it takes almost half an hour to convince him to go upstairs and we have to let him climb the stairs himself. If we even go to pick him up in the evening time he starts to cry immediately because he thinks we're taking him upstairs. </p> <p>I know that this is probably a phase, but from what I've heard, this phase lasts for a while. I almost dread every day and whenever I'm with him, I'm so on edge that he's going to whine and/or cry every second. And he does! </p> <p>He is very social and is great when people are over... it's almost like he shows off for them and he acts great. But when it's just mommy and daddy, it's a whole different story. </p> <p>I don't really know if doing time-outs is right because he's not really doing anything outright bad like biting, hitting, or yanking things from people. Am I supposed to give him a time-out for standing in front of the counter and crying because I won't give him a metal knife?</p> <p>I miss my angel baby... who is this demon who looks just like him??? </p> <p>So I guess my question is... how do you deal with a toddler entering the terrible twos? How do you stay sane??? </p>