https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 10:09:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2756004 Fri, 07 Jul 2017 11:49:47 +0000 ShootingStar 2756004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JCCovi: Seriously? So if one of your friends said, "Hey, I'm not comfortable being called Miss Firstname, I'd rather be just Firstname", you'd say no? </p> <p>I know I personally would not be comfortable with that. And I believe pretty strongly that a person always has the right to choose how they're addressed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755834 Thu, 06 Jul 2017 23:27:42 +0000 birdofafeather 2755834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought we'd do aunt and uncle for all the siblings but honestly, it just sounds weird with my siblings names so they just go by first names. They have no issue with it. My SILs like to be called auntie "first name" but their names sound very similar so my 4 year old cannot keep them straight. It's crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755799 Thu, 06 Jul 2017 20:35:20 +0000 JCCovi 2755799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So for me the parents set the baseline and the individual being addressed can request a more formal version but not a more casual one. We teach our kids to refer to all adults as 'Miss' or 'Mr' (Mrs. isn't in the rotation, all women are 'Miss') so I wouldn't let them call an Aunt or Uncle by their first name. But if someone wanted to be call Aunt Last name instead of Aunt first name it would be OK with me.</p> <p>Basically I would yield to whoever's concern is ettiquette. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755792 Thu, 06 Jul 2017 20:21:55 +0000 Boogs 2755792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just use what our family has always used. There's someone in our family we aren't fans of so I just don't really reference them to LO. They have their own name they try to teach LOs to call them, but I don't reinforce it. Not an argument I want to start, but I don't have to help teach it. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755708 Thu, 06 Jul 2017 14:50:25 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2755708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: yes this! He calls my BIL uncle name but my husband's friend is apple name, because at the point in time he got the hang of his name, he mis spoke and of course we encourage it to this day :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755662 Thu, 06 Jul 2017 12:42:04 +0000 SweetiePie 2755662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I introduce my siblings and their spouses, and my brother and sister in law as Aunt/Uncle but if anyone didn't want to use that title I wouldn't care. I think it's up to them.<br /> Grandparents in my family choose what they want to be called. My parents had their titles chosen and my inlaws chose the equivalent in their language. </p> <p>I have close friends who kinda want/like to be called Aunt or Auntie and I don't mind. I don't use it universally for friends though, just close ones. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755590 Thu, 06 Jul 2017 10:17:30 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2755590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I agree that non-family aunts and uncles should be decided by the parents. I grew up using aunt/ uncle with anyone that was a God-family. DH not so much in part b/c his God family were actually family members. He's weirded out that I call his BFF uncle and his wife aunt, but he's Godfather to their youngest. Calling them Mr./ Ms. seems too formal though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755589 Thu, 06 Jul 2017 10:10:11 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2755589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If LO's aunts and uncles tell LO to call them by first name only I won't argue. For right now I use Auntie and Uncle when around them to get LO familiar with their names (&amp; titles).</p> <p>As for the grands I will indulge each until LO speaks. Then however he pronounces their name is what we will go with. DH is no help in this department as each grandparent picked their own name yet he goes by the generic grandma/ grandpa. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755514 Thu, 06 Jul 2017 07:53:25 +0000 Cherrybee 2755514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's up to the individual if they DONT want to be called aunt/uncle but it's up to the parents who they invite to be called it, unless they are the child's biological aunt/uncle, in which case the permission is automatic. In my mind, it's a special office/position in a child's life. I have been seriously irritated by my inlaws referring to all of their friends as Auntie this and Uncle that - people I don't even know!! But it's not worth offending them by bringing it up, so I seethe quietly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755186 Wed, 05 Jul 2017 13:21:58 +0000 Adira 2755186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I don't know how accurate this is, but these seems to imply that the "ant" pronunciation is older.</p> <p><a href="https://www.grammarphobia.com/blog/2009/09/auntie-anxiety.html" rel="nofollow">https://www.grammarphobia.com/blog/2009/09/auntie-anxiety.html</a></p> <p><a href="http://savvyauntie.com/ExpertiseDetails.aspx?GroupId=18&#038;Id=5324&#038;Name=The%20Correct%20Way%20to%20Pronounce" rel="nofollow">http://savvyauntie.com/ExpertiseDetails.aspx?GroupId=18&#038;Id=5324&#038;Name=The%20Correct%20Way%20to%20Pronounce</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755179 Wed, 05 Jul 2017 13:16:33 +0000 DesertDreams88 2755179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: oh, so weird! I thought "au" always pronounced "aw"... audio, auto-, auction, audacious, augment, etc. Dictionary.com has both prounciations. Obviously in America, both pronunciations are used, but I'm pretty sure the "awnt" is the original version. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755126 Wed, 05 Jul 2017 12:18:27 +0000 mediagirl 2755126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kind of go with it. I let the grandparents choose and my SIL wants to be Auntie even though I despise that ie at the end but...I guess we'll deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755124 Wed, 05 Jul 2017 12:16:16 +0000 bubblegum 2755124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think as far as gradnparents go, they should decide what they would like to be called. </p> <p>Everyone else, it's up to the parents to make that call. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755112 Wed, 05 Jul 2017 12:02:54 +0000 Adira 2755112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: That's actually how it's supposed to be pronounced: <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/aunt" rel="nofollow">https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/aunt</a></p> <p>I generally think the person being addressed gets to decide what they are called, but I also think that respecting one's elders is important and so if you want to be called by just your first name, but your SIL wants to teach her kids to use a title for respect, I think that's well within her rights. And if she wants your kids to use a title when addressing her, that's her choice too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2755101 Wed, 05 Jul 2017 11:44:04 +0000 alphagam84 2755101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up saying aunt/uncle first name. Same with my grandparents. That's what we're doing with our daughter. Never thought we'd do it any differently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754425 Mon, 03 Jul 2017 07:28:12 +0000 lady baltimore 2754425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I actually don't have a strong argument on my side, which is one of the reasons I wrote this post. I am having a stronger emotional response than I would have expected, and I am trying to pin down why.</p> <p>In general, I don't care much for formality and imposed honorifics. I think the real issue here is that on some level I just find "auntie" kind of twee. :silly: Not something I am going to make a big hairy deal about, but also not a term I will promote with LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754420 Mon, 03 Jul 2017 07:00:06 +0000 looch 2754420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I don't think the person who is being addressed really has a choice, nor do I see it as a situation where the first child has the right to decide what everyone else calls that person.</p> <p>Case in point, my son is the fourth grandchild on my husband's side. My oldest nephew and all his siblings call my MIL some made up thing for grandmother, and my husband hates it, so he started referring to my MIL as something else, and that's what my son calls her now and she has no issue with it.</p> <p>I personally think it is best to introduce someone with an honorific title, and if sticks great. If not, then that's fine too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754411 Mon, 03 Jul 2017 00:23:54 +0000 mamainthesun 2754411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had chosen more or less but my son started calling them using other terms (I wanted him to use the english terms (my side) but he wanted to use the French terms( dad's side) so in the end he chose what he wanted! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754394 Sun, 02 Jul 2017 21:11:20 +0000 ShootingStar 2754394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would think the person being addressed should always have the ability to make the choice. I've asked people what they wanted to be called, and vice versa. In DH's family they all go by Auntie/Uncle First Name. But auntie is pronounced on-tee. I pronounce it an-tee, but I prefer Aunt (ant) for myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754393 Sun, 02 Jul 2017 21:04:33 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2754393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All of our sisters and our brother in law are called aunt or uncle then first name. My SIL made up a cutesy nickname for herself like Aunt cutesy name. I find it silly and attention seeking but mostly just go with it. My child is a very verbal 3 year old who can say her actual name quite easily. I find this cuter if the kid makes up the name and it just sticks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754379 Sun, 02 Jul 2017 19:58:15 +0000 fancyfunction 2754379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do aunt, uncle firstname - and myself and everyone I know says "ant" :wink: I refer to one of my closest friends as aunt firstname to my kids also but all other adults just go by their first name. I do remember calling adults Mrs/Mr last name unless they said to use their first name but things seem more casual now (at least in my circle) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754265 Sun, 02 Jul 2017 07:46:32 +0000 erinbaderin 2754265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do Aunt Firstname unless the person prefers something else - I think you should get to pick what you're called. For friends close friends are Aunt or Uncle, otherwise it's just first names. Friends of my parents are Mr or Mrs Lastname. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754264 Sun, 02 Jul 2017 07:33:42 +0000 JerricaBenton 2754264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I teach lo to say aunt Mary, uncle Bob, but if they wish to be called something else, that's fine. I think it's up to the addressee. Like if someone kept calling me ma'am, I think I should be able to say, 'please, call me JerricaBenton.' For friends, none of us do the aunt/uncle thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754261 Sun, 02 Jul 2017 07:06:52 +0000 Foodnerd81 2754261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In your case I would do aunt/ uncle on his side and first names on yours. I don't care too much, but both DH andno grew up saying aunt and uncle so it's easy for us. </p> <p>Friends are the trickier part for me. We just call all our friends by their first name. Growing up my parents had us call close friends aunt or uncle too. So far most friends of ours are doing first names but sometimes a newer friend especially will say Miss Firstname or mrs last name and it throws me off. like I assume then I should have my kids call them the same but it feels weird. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754243 Sun, 02 Jul 2017 03:12:55 +0000 maddyz 2754243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also think the addressee gets to pick. My family says "aunt/Uncle first name" but I think that's partly because we have family members with the same names so incle David and cousin David are used to tell people apart.</p> <p>My neighbor calls me auntie because that's what they do in her calture and I think it's so sweet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754239 Sun, 02 Jul 2017 00:29:08 +0000 Grace 2754239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's the adressee's right to be called what they wish. Doesn't seem fair to impose my traditions on other people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754236 Sat, 01 Jul 2017 23:49:57 +0000 gingerbebe 2754236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Respecting elders is important to me and I always teach my children honorific terms and titles for everyone as a matter of course. If the addressee would prefer a different title or their first name, then I am okay with that, but I don't lead with it. The fun twists and variations happen when our kids throw their own funny pronunciations on it anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754234 Sat, 01 Jul 2017 22:26:48 +0000 DesertDreams88 2754234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I go with the family traditions... except I hate it when the word "aunt" is pronounced "ant" ! So I try to gently correct that.<br /> FWIW, DH's family used titles, and I think we did when we were kids but quickly grew out of them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754231 Sat, 01 Jul 2017 21:29:12 +0000 caterw 2754231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Kinda both (so helpful I know!). I tell my kids to address people as Mr/ Mrs LastName, close friends are Mr/ Miss FirstName and relatives are Auntie/ Uncle. If they want to be called something less formal that's cool with me but I try to give an honorific at first to be respectful. I also live in the South so my kiddos end up being friends with like, the grocery store checkout lady and they call her Auntie Val. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-decides-how-aunts-and-uncles-are-addressed#post-2754230 Sat, 01 Jul 2017 21:27:24 +0000 Anagram 2754230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, I'm not one to care much about these things, so in each situation you mentioned, I would follow the family cultural norms. </p> <p>On my side, we say Aunt first name and Uncle first name, so my kids also do that (there were 6 grandkids before my kids came along so this was well established).</p> <p>On my husbands side, they actually call anyone who is older Auntie and uncle, even if they are not related. It's a sign of respect for elders in their culture. For actually blood relatives there are further names in my husbands language that might mean "older sister aunt" or "younger sister aunt", etc. I also have my kids follow the culutural norms of that side of the family.</p> <p>I guessI don't have any good reasons to buck the trends and I like for my kids to do what their cousins are doing... less confusion that way.</p> <p>Can I ask why you feel strongly about doing something different than your husbands family's culture traditions? Or is this SIL one of your brother's wives? </p>