Hellobee Boards Topic: Who did you tell about your loss?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Who did you tell about your loss? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 11:25:33 +0000 delight on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705643 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 15:25:16 +0000 delight 1705643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ At the time my BF and mom knew cause I told them right away I was pregnant. Now, almost two years later, a lot of my girlfriends and family know I had a loss a few months before conceiving L. I'm pretty open talking about it and since opening up I've come to realize a lot of my friends and family have similar stories. Weagle on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705606 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 15:12:39 +0000 Weagle 1705606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We told people that knew we were expecting and whoever else we wanted whenever it came up. Neither of us think it's a thing that should necessarily be kept quiet. We found it was helpful for us to talk about it, and it's been encouraging to other people as well. catlady on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705587 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 14:59:44 +0000 catlady 1705587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ At first, I just told family members who knew I was pregnant and my bosses (they knew that something was going on with me). As time went on, I told some close friends and co-workers. I eventually wrote about it in a pretty public place (not anonymously) and I thought it was hugely beneficial to healing. Now I'm very open about it (although many of my extended family members probably still don't know, but it has just never come up in conversation). I wish our society were more open and supportive about these types of things. MaryM on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705547 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 14:42:24 +0000 MaryM 1705547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ First off... :heart: :heart: :heart: @mfa_lady: Thank you for sharing that article! DH and I disagreed on who to tell about the pregnancy to begin with (he wanted to tell EVERYONE), but thankfully, I was able to keep him somewhat contained. We'd *just* told his family and my aunts and cousins the weekend before we found out, so I left it up to him to tell them. I told my mom and SIL and about a handful of friends who knew I was pregnant. I told work because I was out so much for follow up appointments. I dealt better with being busy, so I didn't worry with telling professors and only missed one class in both classes I was taking. As for telling people who hadn't known, I'm not all about bringing it up out of the blue (because it's hard on me too), but DH occasionally lets it slip that I was pregnant. For the most part, having my SIL and a friend who had a recent loss were the biggest help to me. singingbee on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705514 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 14:24:45 +0000 singingbee 1705514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm sorry for your loss. We told everyone because everyone knew. We were 20 weeks along and I had already started showing. The thing we did find out is that so many people have suffered losses and people shared in our sadness. Beebug on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705476 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 14:12:28 +0000 Beebug 1705476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Hugs. I tell people pretty freely now, but didn't tell anyone (not even parents) when it happened. I think my bosses figured it out, but until we thought we lost DD, I really didn't talk about it. DH doesn't really talk about it, we didn't discuss telling/not telling, a lot happened right after so we were pretty distracted. Hugs love! travelgirl1 on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705306 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 13:07:59 +0000 travelgirl1 1705306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @californiadreams: :heart: californiadreams on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705271 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 12:56:51 +0000 californiadreams 1705271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @travelgirl1: no advice or comments on your post, just sending some extra hugs :heart: :heart: Alivoo01 on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705266 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 12:54:08 +0000 Alivoo01 1705266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ For a long awhile, nobody except my BFF because I told her immediately when I saw the BFP. It wasn't for quite a few months later that I opened up and told close friends and family. By then, people already assumed that's what happened since I went into depression mode and wasn't myself. travelgirl1 on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705212 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 12:28:08 +0000 travelgirl1 1705212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mfa_lady: Thank you :heart: mfa_lady on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705208 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 12:26:07 +0000 mfa_lady 1705208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Our loss was at 11 weeks, pretty soon after we had told DH's entire family. So, we had to tell all the family members that we had told about the pregnancy. I also told my bosses (because I needed time off) and a couple of my best girlfriends. Like @Leialou:, while I wish I could have been a little more selective (like with ALL of our families knowing), I really did want to talk about it. It helped me a lot. My SIL also sent me this article, which I found fascinating. Even within our families, we had a lot of this phenomenon of us telling prompting others to tell us their stories. <a href="http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2013/october/miscarriage-secret.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2013/october/miscarriage-secret.html</a> PS: @Travelgirl1: Thinking of you, lady. travelgirl1 on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705201 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 12:22:53 +0000 travelgirl1 1705201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @septca: Well I did tell a friend and didn't discuss it first with DH. That friend sent flowers last night and a huge argument followed. I wish we could agree on it. @Leialou: yes it helps me too. I want people to know my baby existed. They were part of our family so I want our family to know about them. It brings me more peace. I was so sad to think DH's family would never have known about them. Now I know his parents will say a prayer for the baby and that alone has helped me,. ETA: It's not that talking about it helps me, it's that people know the baby existed. I am rubbish at actually talking truthfully about it, I have done most of it in texts and emails. Mrs. Pickle on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705193 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 12:18:31 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1705193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Also I want to add that I need to talk about it. It's helping me move on. I don't want to pretend like it never happened. Mrs. Pickle on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705187 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 12:17:36 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1705187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We told a handful of people I was pregnant so we had to tell them. It was our mothers, three good friends, and BIL. We both told our bosses even though they didn't know I was pregnant. But we took a couple days off work and wanted to let them know why. septca on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705185 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 12:16:10 +0000 septca 1705185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH and I have never discussed it. I am pretty open about this type of thing, so I have shared with my mom, my MIL, and my close friends. When we were first dealing with IF, my husband was very hesitant to tell anyone... he felt that it was private and just "not something people talk about." The longer our struggle went on, however, the more he realized that we both needed people to talk to about our struggles and that we needed support. My husband is now VERY much of the mind that things like IF and M/C are unfairly stigmatized in our culture and that the only way we can combat that is by being open about our struggles. So while we have not discussed who to tell about TTC again or our (albeit very early) loss, I know he would be fine with me telling whomever I wanted and that he would not ask my permission before sharing the information with someone he is close to. travelgirl1 on "Who did you tell about your loss?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-did-you-tell-about-your-loss#post-1705163 Tue, 17 Jun 2014 12:10:45 +0000 travelgirl1 1705163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Did you and your DH agree on who to tell? Did you regret telling or not telling? I'm curious because my DH and I have very different opinions on this. Ultimately he has allowed me to share with our families because he felt my reasons for wanting to outweighed his reasons for not. There's probably no right or wrong answer here.