Hellobee Boards Topic: Who is responsible? Parent or Child

Hellobee Boards Topic: Who is responsible? Parent or Child https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 10:00:41 +0000 LuLu Mom on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688784 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 10:54:05 +0000 LuLu Mom 1688784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The child, it's paperwork to bring home, even if it's to the parent. I bet he didn't get just 1 form either...I think he would have had SEVERAL reminders. Mrs.Panda on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688515 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 09:34:49 +0000 Mrs.Panda 1688515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Kid's fault. Oh wait, he's not a kid anymore. keiki_mama on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688461 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 09:24:39 +0000 keiki_mama 1688461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ At that age, I was taking care of that type of stuff myself. 100% the "child's" responsibility. pui on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688456 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 09:24:19 +0000 pui 1688456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The child. If she didn't even notify me of it, it wouldn't have been on my radar. When I graduated the gowns and caps were provided by the school as a one-size-fits-all sort of deal. clover on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688449 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 09:22:37 +0000 clover 1688449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Responsibility of the 18 year old young adult, as the parent I'd be very disappointed in not seeing my child walk at graduation though. Bao on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688211 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 08:23:38 +0000 Bao 1688211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ 18 isn't a child, he should very much know to get it done. I'm sure it was mentioned several times as a reminder at school. NavyRN2012 on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688204 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 08:21:36 +0000 NavyRN2012 1688204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The child! kjpugs on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688199 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 08:19:57 +0000 kjpugs 1688199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ First kid, I don't think I would even THINK that there was paperwork for that. I do think the school, if trusting the kids 100% with bringing home or filling out that paperwork themselves, might send a "graduation update" to parents to outline what should be done (paperwork for cap and gown, any costs, grad day schedule of events, etc) so that this situation could be avoided. However if LO (funny to call an 18 year old LO, haha) had gotten that info and not processed it or brought it home for you to process, that's on them. With a 2nd kid I would know what to expect so I'd ask about it, so while still on LO, this situation may be avoided. T.H.O.U. on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688191 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 08:17:46 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1688191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mamaof2: I'm sure he will still get a diploma, he just won't physically walk. At some point you have to learn some consequences! snowjewelz on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688180 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 08:13:17 +0000 snowjewelz 1688180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Absolutely child. It's HIS graduation! If he can't even handle this simple responsibility, how will be survive college/real world?! My parents immigrated to the US and since I am the oldest (first to go through everything), they really had no clue what's going on so it was always up to me to figure things out! MamaMoose on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688176 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 08:10:51 +0000 MamaMoose 1688176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ 100% the child. 18 is absolutely old enough to take responsibility for this sort of thing or at the very least go to your parents and ask for help if you can't handle it on your own. Radish on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688157 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 08:01:59 +0000 Radish 1688157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The child. If my kid can't handle the simple task of ordering a cap and gown or getting me the information to do so, then maybe they shouldn't be walking across that stage. swurlygurl on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688149 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:57:36 +0000 swurlygurl 1688149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Definitely the child's responsibility. However, I think the parents do have some level of responsibility to keep their child accountable and make sure they're getting stuff done on time! Rubies on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688145 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:56:21 +0000 Rubies 1688145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The child. Andrea on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688138 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:51:29 +0000 Andrea 1688138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The child! mamimami on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688137 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:51:16 +0000 mamimami 1688137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Totally what @Anagram said. I voted child, but of course as a mom you also want to be on top of things, especially if you know your kid is forgetful. I find it hard to believe that the school never mentioned this in a bulletin, letter home, website message, etc. for the parents. wonderstruck on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688135 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:48:57 +0000 wonderstruck 1688135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The child. They're old enough to be getting ready to go to college where they'll be responsible for all of their school stuff, so yeah they should certainly be able to remember to get a form filled out. And I'd be willing to bet that the school had a million reminders for the kid. Happygal on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688133 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:47:54 +0000 Happygal 1688133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I will also add that I was a super forgetful kid and could see myself messing something like this up. Yes, 18 year olds are technically adults and should be more responsible, but their brains are still maturing and they make dumb mistakes. As a parent, I would be annoyed, but would try to find a solution like @MoonMoon: mentioned. Graduation should be a happy time! Mrs. Lemon-Lime on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688114 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:36:54 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1688114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Child for sure. MoonMoon on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688113 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:36:47 +0000 MoonMoon 1688113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Is it too late to find a cap and gown on Ebay, or somewhere else? Smurfette on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688110 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:35:16 +0000 Smurfette 1688110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The child! 18 is old enough to be responsible. Anagram on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688108 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:33:46 +0000 Anagram 1688108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mamaof2: One other thought: I will say, these days almost all schools have major news and deadlines on their website. My school has it both on the home page and on the "parents" page, so for sure if the mom had been keeping up with school news, she would have seen it. Unless this is a very small school with no website. Having said that, at 18 I still think it's about 80% the kid's responsibility. Cap and gown orders are the type of thing put on the school announcements every single day until the deadline. Pepper on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688104 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:32:30 +0000 Pepper 1688104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The 18 year old. That would have totally been on me if I failed to order the gown. I took care of all of my school stuff in high school. lizzywiz on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688101 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:29:15 +0000 lizzywiz 1688101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was expected to take care of that myself when I was a kid and I would expect my kid to be resposible but I voted parent because I work with highschool students and I would say only about 50% could be relied upon to follow through on this. Why? Because they either are too disorganized or they don't get that it matters, that they won't be able to walk in their HS graduation. That is a big consequence and maybe not foreseen by the kid. Happygal on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688098 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:27:37 +0000 Happygal 1688098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ How would the parent even know about it if the paperwork went to the child? I probably wouldn't even think about it as a parent until a week or so before graduation. mrsjyw on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688097 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:26:42 +0000 mrsjyw 1688097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I took care of everything myself at that age. The child. mediagirl on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688094 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:25:52 +0000 mediagirl 1688094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mamaof2: oh no. I hope your husband can get it sorted out quickly!!! I'm sorry they dropped the ball. :( That's a tough spot for you to be in. Snowdrop on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688093 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:25:32 +0000 Snowdrop 1688093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The paperwork went to the child so whilst it might have been the parent to do the actual ordering, it was the child's responsibility to hand over the letter. In my eyes the same would apply for any child over about 13... Anagram on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688091 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:25:15 +0000 Anagram 1688091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Honestly, I've never worked at a school that would let this happen without multiple, multiple reminders to the senior. I mean, sure a parent could/might ask when the graduation cap and gown orders are coming out but they aren't the ones being reminded every day at school to take care of it. Having said this, I know someone who did this when I was in HS and they had to wear a cousin's old cap and gown, which were a slightly different color (or maybe had just faded). Mamaof2 on "Who is responsible? Parent or Child" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-responsible-parent-or-child#post-1688089 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 07:24:44 +0000 Mamaof2 1688089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Thanks for the replies - I still cant figure out who is to blame - then again, does it even matter at this point?? :meh: My DSS's mom totally dropped the ball or my DSS did - on one hand I cant believe it never occurred to her to even ask about it??? She didn't order announcements either......... Then again he is old enough to say "here mom, can you help me with this?" My DH is trying to get this all cleared up in the next few days - otherwise he wont be able to walk!