https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 00:54:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701441 Thu, 23 Feb 2017 01:06:15 +0000 808love 2701441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A cousin who has made countless bad decisions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701427 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 22:54:54 +0000 JennyD 2701427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I hear you! For years I've been treated differently (like I'm too good for eneryone else) because I've made good choices. </p> [attach=2630/17/olt6vi.600x338.IMG_2078.PNG] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701398 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 21:14:56 +0000 littlejoy 2701398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: My husband's family has a ton of resentment towards him and our family. They all say he's "lucky" - but his "luck" was paying his way through undergrad and grad school to follow his dreams (which is almost laughable now, because we are in debt from student loans and he still doesn't have his full certification in his field). I really hate when people can't acknowledge hard work and good decision making. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701395 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 21:10:33 +0000 littlejoy 2701395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Certain friends who have made really flippant comments about our decision to have a home birth - I've ugly cried when I realized some friends think I'm an idiot (when in reality, the decision took a lot of research and thought). </p> <p>Otherwise, we live a bit differently than our family, but none of them have ever expressed judgement or criticism. Wait - my MIL judged me for having 3 ultrasounds, even though she smoked during all 4 of her pregnancies. :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701341 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 19:49:33 +0000 JennyD 2701341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: bahahahaha! My 4 yo niece recently gave me a talking to for telling her I put beer in her sister's supply cup! (I didn't, obviously, I was sick of getting the nth degree from a small child) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701340 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 19:41:34 +0000 pachamama 2701340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: my kid also wakes between 4-5. Nothing we do changes it. Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701328 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 19:16:24 +0000 Modern Daisy 2701328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pretty much everyone who shares a house with us lectures us on how to get DS to sleep in. Sorry but we've tried all that and more and unless you're going to offer to watch him while we sleep from 4am - 8am we really don't want to hear it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701263 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 15:29:24 +0000 skipra 2701263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Wow. Well at least that shows he is very attentive to your/baby's needs? When I ask DH for a pillow for support he tries to put it under the wrong arm about 80% of the time and we are on our third baby. I can definitely see how that is frustrating for you though and I hope you can communicate about it before it causes resentment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701260 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 15:27:11 +0000 LindsayLou 2701260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad. Our parenting style is pretty relaxed, but I know my kid's cues very well. If she's tired and I say it's bedtime, my dad will ask if she really has to go to bed right this minute. Or if I say she's had enough fruit and needs to eat the other things on her plate, he'll ask if she can have a little more. He adores her, and doesn't want to see her unhappy. He means well, but it still drives me crazy.</p> <p>My grandparents would be a lot more critical if they knew that I'm still breastfeeding my 18 month old. As it is, they think I coddle her by holding her too much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701237 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 14:53:01 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2701237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: it is definitely trying at times. The other day DH had a strong suggestion about how I held LO in his glider at bed time. He noticed his head was on the arm rest like every other night. Apparently, the lumbar pillow and my arm weren't adequate support for his neck. He brought in a smooshy king sized pillow. All I could think was my God man how long have you been sitting on that critique? He lays that way all the time. Seriously though the baby was fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701218 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 14:27:45 +0000 skipra 2701218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With this on my mind, I mentioned to my mom what my dad said about the preschool situation and she commented that he was that way when my sisters and I were little. Many opinions but not much actual parenting. I don't know why I am so surprised by his reactions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701217 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 14:27:00 +0000 MamaG 2701217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely my Dad. He was downright vile about many things a little over a year ago, as a result our relationship is mostly non-existent now. He was not a "good" father. I also pointed out to him as he went down his list of my misdoings in parenting that he had his opportunity to make mistakes raising me. I'm doing what I think is best and much like I'm sure he didn't want my grandparents telling him how to raise me, I'd appreciate he give me the same respect and courtesy.</p> <p>We get a lot of praise about our kids, but then backhanded comments about things that we are doing "wrong". C'mon I'm not perfect, I can't do it all people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701213 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 14:23:42 +0000 skipra 2701213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: I love this!</p> <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: That must be hard to not be on the same page as your DH. </p> <p>@Corduroy: Sounds a little like mommy wars? Sorry. I hate judgment between moms. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701197 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 14:07:25 +0000 pachamama 2701197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad also is a "let kids get dirty, we never needed TDap shot, who cares about tightening the carseat, why stick to your schedule" kind of grandpa and it's annoying as hell. I'm not overprotective by any stretch of the imagination and he's ON me about loosening up.<br /> The 'expected' biggest critic is myself. I beat myself up over everything and really self-loathe sometimes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701154 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 12:34:25 +0000 looch 2701154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My father thinks I am too strict and that I punish my son too often. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701073 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 10:01:43 +0000 youboots 2701073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ha my nephew. He hovers over me to be sure I'm caring for his cousin correctly. If I'm doing something he does not like he will tell on me. He's 7.</p> <p>Also MIL calls us unreasonable, strict and uptight mostly over food/car seat (read safety) rules. I think we are pretty easygoing with our DD but she thrives with the way we run things and falls apart when she's out of her routine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2701030 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 09:23:17 +0000 Anagram 2701030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: yikes. what kinds of things do they judge your friend for? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700970 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 06:26:51 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2700970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH :shocked: I knew we would do things differently, but when I am the primary he is all over me. I make a point when he is primary just to do it his way/ say nothing. It's not reciprocated although I bring it up a lot.</p> <p>Second to him would be my mom, which I find strange. She was a working mom and put me in home daycare and had a nanny for my brother. She is super judgy about LO being in a daycare center. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700946 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 23:53:16 +0000 Corduroy 2700946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A few of my SAHM friends (I WOH). I really censor what I share with them because they talk negatively about another WOH friend that I consider a rockstar and would be my WOHM idol if I had one. Conversely, I would expect that they might interpret some of my comments as critical. It's hard not to step on toes when our days are so different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700943 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 23:40:12 +0000 JennyD 2700943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: @Purpledaisy: yes! Yes exactly!!!</p> <p>But such is life ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700939 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 23:23:51 +0000 Purpledaisy 2700939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: ahhh I can't stand the "lucky" comments from my family. Yes, DD is an easier kid than many. BUT we still work hard parenting her and that is a lot of why she is so "easy". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700914 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 22:27:30 +0000 catgirl 2700914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: DH's mom and step dad pull the lucky thing all the time and it drives me crazy. They have another grandchild who is only six months older than DD. The kids are very different, with regards to sleep, eating, manners, and really all interactions - I know part of that is simply personality but part is the parenting. We parent very differently and have from the very beginning. They constantly compare the kids and try to make us feel bad for having it "so easy." My in laws see us maybe 20 days out of the year and refuse to acknowledge how hard we have worked to parent the way we do. Yet they complain about the strict schedules, rules we enforce, and our expectations of DD. Everything about DD is because we're lucky. . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700907 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 22:10:35 +0000 JennyD 2700907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know how surprising it is, but my mom. And it's not so much that she criticizes me, it's more that she thinks I'm lucky. She hardly acknowledges that any of my hard work, either at work or as a parent is the reason I have such a great kid or life. There's always comments about how "we can't all be Jenny" or how we have gotten lucky with LO, that she's "easy", etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700888 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 21:34:52 +0000 Foodnerd81 2700888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: not to mention a lot of babies just won't take it. My one friend was totally happy to stop breastfeeding and do the formula, and her insurance even covered it, but her son would not take it, even a quarter of a bottle mixed with 3/4 breast milk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700886 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 21:29:28 +0000 skipra 2700886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: @Foodnerd81: I also had to do mspi diet for all three. I think people don't realize how expensive mspi safe formula is! Telling people how much it costs and saying we can't afford it shuts down the conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700880 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 21:10:25 +0000 Foodnerd81 2700880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: actually my DH has made comments about the mspi diet- I never had to do it but we have a couple of friends who did, and he was like, god no, why would anyone do that, just give them formula! I shut him down on b half of mspi mamas everywhere. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700873 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 20:48:59 +0000 catlady 2700873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad. He thinks we are way too strict about everything: car seat, naps and bedtime, healthy eating, screentime, you name it. He thought I was crazy for doing an elimination diet for LO1's MSPI instead of just giving formula and at some point insinuated that I was making her more sick by continuing to breastfeed. Granted, he usually doesn't criticize so much as tease us, but it gets really old after awhile. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700871 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 20:48:07 +0000 skipra 2700871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: :shocked: was she implying that he was sick because he sucks his fingers? Even still, the lecture can wait for a time that he is not so sick!!! That's awful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700870 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 20:47:24 +0000 newlypregnantlady 2700870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually just on the receiving end of some very passive aggressive criticism from my friend directed towards her sister (who was present for the conversation). TBH her sister isn't doing anything radical, she's just a looser parent and isn't as strict about things like screen time, diet, thumb sucking, etc. I really wanted to stick up for her sister but it was such an awkward conversation because the sister was there and didn't really say anything in response. It was super revealing about my friend and I'm sure now that I do things she does approve of! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/who-is-your-biggest-unexpected-critic#post-2700864 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 20:37:20 +0000 erinbaderin 2700864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is not exactly the same but I took my son to the doctor a few weeks ago because he had a fever of 104 and she spent most of the visit giving me a hard time about him sucking his fingers. She told him she shouldn't do it, she told me I shouldn't let him, looks like he has a bad ear infection and strep throat do you have a plan for how to get him to stop? I was pretty annoyed, he's 3 and really sick so no, I'm not thinking about how to get him to stop ducking his fingers. </p>