https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 20:42:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910963 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:18:05 +0000 artsyfartsy 1910963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Lol good!!! Let me know if it works. T is an early riser and has to have 3 short naps on and off in the morning before he's fully awake. Really annoying but no where near what you're going through!! Stay strong! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910947 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:08:18 +0000 Anagram 1910947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: yyyeahhh.....DST is scaring me because it's coming precisely at a time when I feel like I can't take it if her sleep gets any more. I mean, a 3:30 wake up time? No. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910946 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:07:39 +0000 Anagram 1910946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@loveisstrange: maybe? Surely there's someone in NYC. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910899 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 11:44:41 +0000 loveisstrange 1910899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does your area have a sleep specialist? I know my city has one at a local hospital and everyone says she is a miracle worker. Might be worth looking into. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910884 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 11:41:46 +0000 edelweiss 1910884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we dealt with early wakeups for a long time (although at an earlier age). after trying CIO and moving bedtimes, i gave up and nursed him back to sleep (he was still under 1 year, although this was after months of no MOTN feedings). when that stopped working, i caved to the early wake up time and started going to bed at 9pm. </p> <p>what i think eventually helped is that at about 17-18 months, daycare finally switched him to the toddler room where they had a set nap period for a few hours. it was much easier for him to take a 1.5-2 hour nap, as opposed to the 45-60 minutes he was getting in the infant room. i think the better naps helped his nighttime sleep and getting over that early morning hump. that or he just grew out of it and the timing was coincidental.</p> <p>you are doing everything "right", it's just so frustrating that there's only so much we can do and the rest is out of our hands. i wouldn't worry about not getting the 12-14 hours of sleep. for a while i was really worried about that but then read a thread where it sounded like a lot of other toddlers get more around 10 hours per day. we survive! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910877 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 11:40:33 +0000 plantains 1910877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I feel your pain, this was my D for the longest time. In the end, we had to try to do what @mrbee: suggested and accept that she was/is an early riser. Not matter how early we put her to bed, she always woke up at 4.30. For us it was extra annoying because we don't leave home until 8am. </p> <p>We decided that we were not going to let her out of bed before 5am, but anything after that was game, so if she woke up before 5 we let her cry and then went to get her at 5. We live in 2 bedroom condo in NYC too, so it was hard but just had to be done. Eventually she started waking around 5.30 and was stuck there for the longest time before more recently shifting it to anytime between 6 and 7. Of course. daylight savings is round the corner so I suspect we will be back to the 5am malarkey. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910843 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 11:26:15 +0000 Anagram 1910843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: I'm totally going to try it. If someone told me to bury a red flower on a night with a full moon, I would do it, too!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910830 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 11:19:29 +0000 abmamma 1910830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Munchkin: my LO also gets angry (hysterical really) when DH goes in...it sucks when you can't even get a break from dealing with the MOTN/early morning antics. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910820 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 11:17:17 +0000 mrbee 1910820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Munchkin: Charlie had a massive mommy preference at that age. I started just taking him out of the house (since Bee was pregnant and trying to sleep) and we'd go on a walk around the neighborhood.</p> <p>There were a few other things that worked for us... eventually I realized that Charlie's preference was based in part on stuff I was (or wasn't) doing:<br /> <a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2011/12/27/three-ways-to-counter-a-toddlers-mommy-preference/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2011/12/27/three-ways-to-counter-a-toddlers-mommy-preference/</a></p> <p>Once I addressed that, he started to love seeing me in the mornings! Took a while to make that transition, but when we did... it was oh so sweet!! One thing that really helped I think is that we were really consistent, and Bee never came to get him in the morning (she had morning sickness at the time, which made it easier to never given in). Eventually Charlie just accepted (and eventually, embraced) his new morning routine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910818 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 11:17:00 +0000 abmamma 1910818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: No real advice but just wanted to pop in and say you are not alone (in case the other posts weren't already evidence of that!). My LO is 26 months and I could have written this post practically word for word. The only real difference is that she does nap well but otherwise we have bedtime struggles, MOTN wake-ups that last for hours and early wake-ups too. The weird thing is that every few days, she will have a good night which almost makes it worse -- it's like she's purposefully messing with us. I have seriously considered contacting a sleep consultant-- I am going to wait until her 2 year molars finish coming through just in case that is the root cause (although I don't think so since it's been going on for sometime). But we've tried pretty much everything you have and even though she is functioning on the fragmented sleep, we've definitely seen an uptick in tantrums and general 'tude which I can't help but assume is at least in part a result of the sleep (the rest being that she is just two). Good luck and keep us posted on what you try and what works/doesn't work!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910810 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 11:13:22 +0000 Munchkin 1910810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i feel your pain</p> <p>@ mrbee thanks for the links! our LO is very verbal (18 mo) and i think it is affecting her sleep... nice to read about what charlie was going thru when the language explosion occurred. perhaps that, or the 18 mo sleep regression, or the weaning process is why our LO isnt sleeping these days. </p> <p>my problem is that we try sending DH in - she gets angry bc its not mama - and we try CIO - and she cries, on and off, for 2 hrs...... </p> <p>ideas?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910804 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 11:10:57 +0000 artsyfartsy 1910804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Disclaimer: my child is only 8 months old and hasn't had very many sleep troubles and I haven't tried what I'm posting, so you have permission to throw my post in the trash. But I just happened to watch this video from one of my favorite YouTube moms right before logging on HelloBee. I thought I'd share because it got me researching! She started giving her early riser tart cherry juice and it's helped him sleep an hour and a half more every day. </p> <p>Could be a coincidence but she has lots of info and studies linked in the video. </p> <p><a href="http://youtu.be/zQaCv6E0pIk" rel="nofollow">http://youtu.be/zQaCv6E0pIk</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910752 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:46:20 +0000 Pirouette 1910752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel you on the working mom stuff! My LO is not a good sleeper because I work. she waits until i am home to take all of her milk calories, and I know if i was a SAHM, she'd be a better sleeper, eater, etc. talk about working mom guilt! so different situation, but I totally get what you are feeling about connecting the two.</p> <p>Hugs, mama! no real advice, but i hope this phase passes quickly for you. remember it is just a phase, and your baby (toddler, whatever) is not intentionally punishing you for working! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910728 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:34:39 +0000 Smurfette 1910728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: Fingers crossed</p> <p>Have you tried leaving toys in the crib with a night light and letting her play by herself? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910727 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:34:31 +0000 catomd00 1910727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you tried putting books/small toys in the corner of her crib to play with when she wakes up? My DD is only 8 months so still feeding in the MOTN, so at her 4 am feeding I stick a few things in there and if she happens to wake up earlier, she will sit in there and play for up to an hour before she starts crying...</p> <p>I really do think that if you've tried everything to change her behavior, it might be time to just look at where you can change your routine up to get more sleep. Yes, going to bed at 8 when she does isn't fun, but it's one thing you can control relatively easily! </p> <p>I'd also start with trying to address the daycare nap situation to see if you can work with her teacher to increase that at all somehow... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910724 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:33:41 +0000 mrbee 1910724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: His overall sleep wasn't enough at that time! It went on for a few months, here's a sample month:</p> <p><a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2011/08/08/20-month-update/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2011/08/08/20-month-update/</a></p> <p>We finally fixed it with a morning CIO:</p> <p><a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2011/09/10/21-month-update/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2011/09/10/21-month-update/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910722 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:33:23 +0000 Madison43 1910722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has she always woken up screaming or is this a new thing? I wonder if something in her room is freaking her out? Perhaps you could put something in her crib to keep her entertained and calm until a reasonable hour (I know crib aquariums are for babies, but something like that)? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910717 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:31:32 +0000 JoJoGirl 1910717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>RIGHT. THERE. WITH. YOU. Except we did CIO from 4:30am-6am for like 2 weeks. :-/ I checked in with a sleep consultant who recommended super late bedtime for at least 4-5 days (with BRIGHT LIGHTS in the evening and dark in the morning to help shift her clock) - after 4 days of 8pm or later, she got up at 6:15am today. Will keep going with this.. how long did you put her down later for? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910714 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:29:46 +0000 Anagram 1910714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: yeah, we've tried that. We gave it 4 days of CIO.....and she cried and screamed hysterically from 4:30 till 6 when we got her. The thing is, we live in a 2 bedroom condo so none of us can sleep while she's screaming...and I worry about neighbors calling CPS or something, too. I mean, she does a LOT of screaming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910709 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:27:06 +0000 Rubies 1910709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. If it were me and this was my situation, I would CIO until it was time for her to get up for the day. I've done it in the past and after a few days, she managed to sleep a little longer. If either of my kids wake up before they're supposed to, they stay where they are until I go get them. But, this is just my style and the only option our family has right now. I'm so sorry I can't be more helpful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910707 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:26:51 +0000 Anagram 1910707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: she's only getting 9 hours (sometimes less) at night. I feel like that's way too little for a 15 month old. Or at least, that's what all the sleep books tell me. Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910703 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:26:13 +0000 Anagram 1910703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: I've love for her to sleep till 6 at least. Then she'd be getting 10-11 hours of overnight sleep, plus a 1 hour nap which would be better. And it would be better for me and DH, too. Every single one of our arguments is rooted in our mutual exhaustion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910702 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:25:13 +0000 sarac 1910702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That early wake-up is brutal for sure. But that amount of sleep isn't so uncommon - lots of kids only sleep 11 or so hours per night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910699 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:24:40 +0000 Anagram 1910699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: how was his overall sleep? Was he getting more sleep elsewhere? I just feel immense guilt because by the time I pick her up from daycare, she is just wild-eyed and has this glazed look. But she's not a fussy baby so her daycare teachers think she is "fine" all the time, but I know my baby and she is not fine by the end of the day.</p> <p>Her sleep was SO much better over the summer when I wasn't working and now that I'm back at work, I just can't help but see a mom + work = bad for baby sleep = bad for family dynamics formula going on here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910697 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:24:35 +0000 looch 1910697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds to me that she's functioning fine on the sleep she's getting. The only thing I would suggest at this point is maybe that you front load on your sleep...how much sleep do you need, what time are you currently going to bed?</p> <p>It's the only thing that I was able to control during my son's challenging sleep times, that are still going on (my son will be 4 in December, so I feel your frustration). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910693 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:22:51 +0000 catomd00 1910693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is she happy during the day? Some kids just don't need as much sleep as the "recommended" amount (which are just averages...) Not that it makes it any easier on you, but sometimes readjusting our expectations from our babies and finding a way to change our routine instead of theirs can be more successful...</p> <p>What time would you ideally like her to sleep until? If you have to leave at 6:30 it doesn't seem like there's a lot more time to be had in the morning for her to sleep, so you're not that far off from where you'd like to be...</p> <p>At the end of the day, just remember, this too shall pass (eventually!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910690 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:22:11 +0000 Mamasig 1910690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry - no help here. My older son is a challenging sleeper. He has never slept as much as the guidelines say. In the beginning, I worried a lot! But the doctor just said some kids don't need as much sleep. And he generally wakes up happy!</p> <p>What about a later bedtime to try to make her sleep in later? I know they sleep begets sleep, early bedtimes, blah blah blah, but that never worked for my kid. It's hard because he goes to bed later but it's so frustrating trying to make him sleep when it doesn't work. </p> <p>And it sounds like you have tried and done all the right things! Babies are crazy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910683 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:20:21 +0000 mrbee 1910683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: We went through the 4/4:30 am wakeups for a long time with Charlie! It was brutal.</p> <p>What ended up helping the most was just giving up on the idea that he would ever sleep in. I went to bed a lot earlier, and setup a morning routine that incorporated his early wakeup time. It ended up being a surprisingly bonding experience for us, because we had 4 hours or so together every morning. Eventually he grew out of it though, thank goodness. He sleeps until we wake him up now... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoever-said-women-can-have-it-all#post-1910663 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:10:57 +0000 Anagram 1910663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did not have a baby that hated sleep. Seriously, my LO (well, I guess she's a toddler now and not a baby) is back to her previous sleep-disrupting ways. She's 15 months and just will not sleep more than *maybe* 9 hours overnight. And she only sleeps *maybe* 1 hour at daycare during the day.</p> <p>She is now waking at 4:30 am. Every morning. For weeks. She's always been an early riser, but she used to at least sleep till 5:30. Then she started edging that wakeup even earlier, so I tried moving her bedtime later at 8 pm. No dice. She started waking up even *earlier*, so I moved her bedtime back to 7 pm. no dice. The 7 pm bed time is causing her to fight sleep going down, and is still making the 4:30 am wakeups happen.</p> <p>I actually took yesterday off work and took LO to a doctor because I am sleep deprived an anxious over my toddler who won't sleep more than 10 hours in a 24 hour period when the recommendation is 12-14 hours. The doctor was not really helpful at all.</p> <p>I feel like we do everything "right". She goes to sleep on her own. She sleeps with 2(!) white noise machines and blackout curtains. I've tried earlier bedtimes and I've tried later bedtimes. I've tried rushing in there the second she makes a noise and I've tried letting her CIO for up to 1.5 hours (From 4:30-6 am). I've tried co-sleeping (HA. She will not sleep in a bed with us. Putting her in our bed is her signal that everyone wants to party and she'll tart jumping off the bed, dancing, jumping on us, screaming).</p> <p>She has a lovey and she is attached to it. It isn't helping her sleep. She has a paci and can find it in the dark, but it isn't helping her sleep. She doesn't want to be held, or rocked. </p> <p>And she isn't just up and quietly playing in her bed. She SCREAMS at the top of her lungs until we turn out the lights and let her play. But the kicker is....she and I leave the house every day at 6:35 am. So there's no time for her to wake up at 4:30, "play" and then go back to sleep. She has to be up, dressed, milk drunk, and in the car.</p> <p>She doesn't seem to be teething. Or if she is, she's been teething for 1 month now. She has all her teeth except her canines and her 2 year molars.</p> <p>Are there any other magic tips I haven't thought to try yet? I'm thisclose to trying to find a pediatric sleep clinic to evaluate her because our whole family needs more sleep. My husband doesn't even get home from work till almost 8 some nights, so these screaming 4:30 am wakeups are not working for us.</p> <p>help? </p>