https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 22 May 2026 07:43:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom/page/2#post-406856 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 19:44:56 +0000 blackbird 406856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's a good idea, thanks! I might just make up a small "packet" of updated stuff for her </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom/page/2#post-406749 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 17:54:20 +0000 Mrs.M57 406749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: it's so true! I can see how it would be hard for you, I will add I've always been able to talk pretty easily to my mom. I have to admit I still feel weird at times like I'm hurting her feelings not letting her tell me what to do, i atbtimes brace myself forbthe lecture when i tell her about something, and then feel super surprised when it doesnt come anymore. But then I also think about it and know that what I'm doing with my daughter is what is best for her and I'm glad my mom now agrees! And, my mom helps in other ways, she gets to babysit and buy her lots of cute clothes and get snuggle time! </p> <p>Maybe if you feel like you could talk more easily to your dad that would be a good route to go! He could maybe soften things for her a bit. Maybe if you go to a baby class, you could always "review" the information you learned with her, just approaching it like your just excited to tell her about what you learned(we did that with SIDS and "back to sleep" info), and show her the papers and info sheets that you get. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom/page/2#post-406741 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 17:48:06 +0000 BSB 406741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh! That sucks. I'm pretty sure both my mom and MIL will be like your mom. </p> <p>What sucks is all three of us are independent and stubborn. Planning a wedding was pretty much a nightmare and the next step is having kids. I can't wait!! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom/page/2#post-406735 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 17:38:26 +0000 blackbird 406735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well that's so good to hear! I could see the first subtle 'talk' going the same way in my house. My mom will make comments like, "well i bet they aren't as close as we are" and i feel like such a jerk when i burst the bubble a little bit. </p> <p>Maybe i will be pleasantly surprised...a few of my friends said their moms were OK after they had the baby, so we shall see! The transition may be harder than the reality. I'd hate to have that talk with her, though. It always turns into her getting upset, me feeling guilty, and then my dad getting upset with me for upsetting my mom and not just "letting her be a mom". But, you know, she's the grandma now, so it's supposed to be different :) I guess, alternatively, I could also talk to my dad about it and perhaps let him deal with my mom.</p> <p>Different is good--i'd be delusional if i thought our relationship dynamic WASN'T going to change. It certainly has to with a new baby coming into the mix. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom/page/2#post-406730 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 17:32:59 +0000 Mrs.M57 406730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: well, I did it in more than one talk. The first I had while pregnant, I told her how I thought that it was tough that my aunt bossed my cousin around with her daughter and i told her i would hate it if i felt that way when my baby came. It was a good starter convo because the attention was off of her. Then i guess she didnt get it enough, because I had to talk to her again after dd was born. That talk wasnt without tears, my mom cried and was very hurt, i felt bad, and honestly I thought things would be awkward after, but they weren't she loves spending time with me and her grand daughter so she made it work! And we still have a good relationship, just different! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom/page/2#post-406728 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 17:30:11 +0000 blackbird 406728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz, dude i see a phone call backfiring!!!! If your mom is ANYTHING like my mom, involving the husband is asking for trouble! Then again, i wouldn't dream of dealing with any issue with my MIL...i'd totally make DH field that drama! </p> <p>@Bao, maybe my mom doesn't think anything really has changed! Babies still poop, eat, and sleep, as far as she's concerned :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom/page/2#post-406720 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 17:25:36 +0000 Bao 406720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can see how she would be upset, but then again SO much has changed since we were little... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom/page/2#post-406661 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:57:23 +0000 DillonLion 406661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: ha, good. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom/page/2#post-406658 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:56:47 +0000 DillonLion 406658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: tread lightly!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom/page/2#post-406654 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:55:12 +0000 mrsjazz 406654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: This is funny because DH suggested that the three of us get on the phone together...might be a really bad idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-406628 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:44:19 +0000 mrbee 406628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: Sorry, is it bad that I did indeed LOL when I read your comment? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-406627 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:42:08 +0000 DillonLion 406627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: So sorry! Just don't do what we did. DH got furious about my mom lashing out and being manipulative and reached out to her to tell her to be a little more emotionally mature. It did not go over well at all. So, don't do that LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-406625 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:39:39 +0000 Mrs. Pen 406625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>that's sooo sad!! I'm so sorry :(:( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-406565 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:21:07 +0000 blackbird 406565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve, omg, my mom totally thinks breastfeeding is supposed to be ultra painful for a few weeks and you just have to "suck it up." I'm totally expecting drama. Not to mention, I am MUCH more private than she is, and it will bother her to no end if I prefer to feed the baby in private, instead of in front of her. I've never been OK baring all in front of her, even though she doesn't get that. </p> <p>@MrsJazz, UGH. No drama zone, plz and thank you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-406551 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:13:29 +0000 mrsjazz 406551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: My mom is still not talking to me. I feel like this is some high school drama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-406532 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:04:21 +0000 jedeve 406532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of my mom's friend's daughter (who is also a friend of mine) bought grandparents classes as a gift for her parents/in-laws. The mom (and my mom vicariously) was SOOOO offended. I thought it was kinda weird they were that offended, because I'm sure the class was meant to be fun. </p> <p>The things my parents/in-laws say (You should get crib bumpers for safety! Don't have the baby sleep in your room! Episiotomies are better than tearing! Breastfeeding is supposed to hurt! Don't be one of those moms who makes their own baby food!) makes me think that we will probably clash on a few issues where they aren't super up to date. </p> <p>I'm sorry your mom reacted the way she did! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-406521 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 15:59:32 +0000 blackbird 406521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs M57, how did you have that discussion with your mom? My mom takes everything so very personally, so it's really hard to have a serious talk with her about things. She pouts and gets really sad. </p> <p>My husband totally thought the class was a great idea, too! He even said, "a refresher course is never a bad thing, but to think you know everything to the point that it wouldn't possibly benefit you is just a shame". </p> <p>Oh well. I'm sure she's over it now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-406464 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 15:33:59 +0000 birdofafeather 406464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>bummer. i suggested something like this to my mom a while ago, but never followed up. i thought it was a good thing because a lot has changed, but i guess i'll be "educating" my mom... even though i don't know what i'm doing either! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-405798 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 10:16:01 +0000 littlek 405798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry that your mom got upset, I have actually heard really great things about the grandparenting class and I would suggest it to my parents if they lived near us. I can totally see my MIL reacting like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-405780 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 10:05:22 +0000 prettylizy 405780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've found that any decision I make that goes against the grain I now just (mostly) act like I know exactly what I'm doing and nothing is going to sway my judgement. It is often totally an act though, because sometimes I'm just figuring it out as much as anyone (baby led weaning anyone!? lol!) Now they don't even question me, things just happen.</p> <p>OP, I'm sure there is probably no way you can convince your mama you were trying to share something fun with her, so I would just try and let it go at this point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-405768 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 09:54:06 +0000 Mrs.M57 405768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is really tough! I think as exciting as it is to become a grandparent moms have a hard time seeing their daughters become moms. The best way I've heard it said, is they have a tough time grand parenting rather than mothering their grandchild because they aren't used to the new role. I agree with a pp that I know in my case my mom wanted badly to take the role of teaching me everything and telling me what to do,, but I really researched and had/have my own ideas of things. It has a been a tough time for my mom and I through pregnancy and the early days of my baby girl. At one point I did talk to her, and it has been a ton better since! I sometimes feel a little strange because now that my dd is 6 mos my mom literally doesn't question anything I do anymore and only gives advice when I ask her. It's very different, and it took her a while to get here, but i appreciate it so much! She finally seems to have adjusted to the role, and really enjoys being a grandma! I know in my case, I just had to be patient with my mom, it was a very emotional adjustment for her too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-405753 Mon, 19 Nov 2012 09:40:40 +0000 mrs. wagon 405753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oops.... definitely overreaction but still... ugh. </p> <p>If we try to remind my MIL about how to feed or change a diaper or something, she always says "I KNOW, I raised two on my own, remember?" but then when baby is crying or something, she always looks to me with an empty look in her eyes and asks "what do I do??" 'nnoying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-404857 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 12:34:11 +0000 blackbird 404857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well and if she had said, "you know, I don't think this class is for me" and was rationale about it, that'd have been one thing. But to call me back, crying hysterically, about how she's never been so offended in her entire life? Totally ridiculous. Especially considering the way I phrased it as being a fun thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-404851 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 12:27:55 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 404851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You know, my mom was similar throughout my pregnancy... Almost acting as if this were her child instead of mine. Things stayed rocky for a few weeks after DD was born, when I finally had to tell her that she could either respect me as a new mom or I would have to limit the time she visited because I couldn't deal with her drama AND try to figure out what I'm doing as a new mom. Once I sat her down and told her that, things have been SO much better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-404848 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 12:24:23 +0000 DillonLion 404848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cyndistar3: I guess I can see why someone might be offended, but I'm always open to new learning opportunities and that would outweigh my sensitivities on the situation. Being a parent and being a grandparent are two very different things and if I was about to become a grandma I would be VERY interested in learning about what has changed between when I was a parent and now, since I'm sure there will be a lot! I'd also love the opportunity to be able to connect with other people who are going through the same season of life as me. But I understand that not everyone would see things this way, so being cautious about that is a good idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-404846 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 12:21:14 +0000 PrincessBaby 404846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: That is SO true! I do not get it!!! I hope I remember all of this when Harper is a grown woman and goes through major life events. I'm going to make a mental note to respect all the choices she makes, especially for her child. If she wants to name the baby a crazy name, or wants me to do stuff that I think is crazy, I'm just going to try to be there for her instead of blowing up on her like a nutball.</p> <p>My dad has been a Drama Queen too, not gonna lie. He is STILL crying over the name we picked for H's middle name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-404844 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 12:19:35 +0000 cyndistar3 404844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can see both sides, I guess it really depends on the person because to some it might be a cool class to be refreshed on the details but to someone else it may seem like you think they're incompetent. In all honesty I can say I would probably have the same sort of reaction if my child told me I should take a class on how to be a grandma but I also am not into parenting classes either and I have a tendency to take things personally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-404837 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 12:09:29 +0000 DillonLion 404837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: It seems like what is supposed to be the happiest times in our lives (weddings, babies, etc.) also happen to be the time when everyone's Mega Crazy comes out to play... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-404833 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 12:07:00 +0000 blackbird 404833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jojogirl, don't you know that while you're pregnant, you CAN'T get sick, the baby gives you super powers?! ha. I wish. :)</p> <p>Seriously, mom drama. Ok i feel better now that I'm not alone. If i had thought that shit would blow up like this this morning, I wouldn't have brought it up!!! My mom has been stressing me out for months now, snippets at a time. I'm glad my brother and I never had colic or diaper rash or any of this other stuff, but I fully realize it's no guarantee that even if I did everything my mom did with us to a T, that history would repeat itself :P I'm too skeptical for that, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whoops-super-offended-my-mom#post-404826 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 11:56:06 +0000 PrincessBaby 404826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: That's the most frustrating thing when they refuse to look into anything, and you can't tell them anything!!!! My mom just pulls stuff out of her ass and has nothing to back it up, and she will stand by her opinion like she is a seasoned physician! Aaaaghhhh! Drives me nuts! I could see her saying the same thing to me that your mom said to you- "Oh you won't get sick. Because of xyz ludicrous reason I made up. That I know I'm definitely right about." And if I pointed out why that's just not so, then she'd hit me with "Well I raised all three of you and that never happened to me..." It's so weird to love someone and want to strangle them at the same time:)</p> <p>@mrsjazz: What is UP with the Mom Drama? They're all going nuts! </p>