https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 28 May 2026 21:05:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2369062 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 08:42:40 +0000 Mamaof2 2369062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: agree with this "So, I think the more parents try to force it or plan for it, the more they are wasting their time. "</p> <p>My DH is constantly forcing his 2 sons to hang out and be friends with each other - they are 3 yrs apart - they are totally different kids with different interests and I could never understand why he was so insistent that they always include each other - if anything I think it drew them further apart :bummed: </p> <p>Growing up we were never forced to hang out with each other - me and my brother (2 yrs older) were the closest mainly due in part that we both had friends in the same families. My older sister and I (5 yrs apart) were totally different people and not close until we were both preg at the same time then we got really close and still are. My oldest brother (9 yrs older) were not close as kids but we are now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2369012 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 08:04:11 +0000 looch 2369012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it is anything that can be influenced, so whenever I see those "ideal age gap threads" I don't put much stock in any of the replies. It's all personal experience and there is no such thing as a perfect gap to make siblings close.</p> <p>Having said that, I am not really close to my brother, he's 6 years younger than I am. It's personality, really, that made it this way.</p> <p>My father, on the other hand, was 14 years younger than his closest sibling and he was extrememly close to them.</p> <p>So, I think the more parents try to force it or plan for it, the more they are wasting their time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2369001 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 07:36:42 +0000 JoJoGirl 2369001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Why are you close with ANYONE? Mostly just personality fit, right? That's the biggest reason for me. Older brother is 4 years older, younger brother is 2.5. I always just connected more with one vs the other for no "reasonable" reason. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2369000 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 07:35:26 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2369000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sister and I are 15 months apart. We aren't close. We've gotten better lately and text in our group chat with my mom and brother. But we are so different it's crazy. She's fairly grouchy. My brother lives on the other side of the country but we get along well. He's funny. But we aren't super close. He's 23 months younger than my sister. Just over 3 years younger than me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368980 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 06:53:33 +0000 travellingbee 2368980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My brother is 3 years older and has always been super protective of me. To the point that it made us not able to be close when we were younger. It drove me crazy. We fought a lot as kids and as teenagers he was critical of everything I did. Who I dated. Who I was friends with. We have very different personalities. He is very pessimistic and I am optimistic. But he married my SIL 12 years ago and she and I get along fabulously and we all moved to the same city. My brother chilled out a bit and we all became very close. So, idk, I guess I'd say that our personalities made us not so close, but life kept us together anyway. I love him and his family and our kids play together all the time. It's very nice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368967 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 06:32:47 +0000 mediagirl 2368967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are not mostly because of our different personalities. We are polar opposites and we don't attract. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368960 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 05:50:23 +0000 Alba4 2368960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My bro and I were much closer when we both lived in city together. For about 5 years during our 20s , we lived 5 blocks away and it was awesome. Now my family lives about an hour outside the city, so we aren't as close. We still get along well, but it just isn't the same.</p> <p>Our kids get along very well too so we try to get together regularly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368934 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 02:50:33 +0000 Corduroy 2368934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm close with my brother (&lt; 2 year gap) because he married a woman I genuinely like. She is also a therapist and strongly encourages my brother to have a meaningful relationship with me. We also had kids very close in age but I give SIL the credit for that too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368923 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 02:07:10 +0000 gingerbebe 2368923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My brother and I are 4 years apart and we were always close growing up, so I don't buy the whole age-spacing thing for closeness. I am the oldest and we were latch-key kids so we basically always played together and I was also very maternal and protective. My parents and he call me sister-mom because I was half mom to him. When he was a teen or in college, I could get through to him when my parents couldn't. As adults, he still always turned to me for advice and we made it a point to see each other a few times a year even when I lived across the country. </p> <p>These days we don't necessarily talk that often (maybe once a month?) and there's a lot about his life that as a 30 year old man, I don't really control or have a say in, which is annoying sometimes when he makes choices that I don't necessarily think are the best. But in terms of big life decisions, he still calls for advice and we still consider ourselves very close. </p> <p>As to why, I think just that our parents were strict, so we were at home together a lot. They also believed in birth order responsibilities, so they really instilled the idea that I was in charge and responsible for his well-being and that my brother owed me respect and deference as the younger kid. My family had a lot of hard times growing up because of my parents constantly having money problems and job insecurity, so there was a lot of sticking together through that stuff. These days, my brother and I are further brought together by the fact that we have to support our parents and we're constantly having to confer with each other about their affairs and health. I would say my brother and I are quite different in terms of personality, but ever since we were kids we've always found hobbies in common or ways to bond so that we could pass time together. So, even as adults, we always have found activities that we enjoy sharing - which for us is fine dining experiences, food and wine, and cooking together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368895 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 23:41:32 +0000 lilteacherbee 2368895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really close with my sister. She's almost exactly 3 years younger than me. We argued and fought like normal siblings growing up, but never had any major issues. We always had similar personalities and interests as kids, but we were never super competitive. We really got close when I was in college (only half an hour away, but I was no longer living at home). Since then, our career paths have been similar and we have a lot in common just in general (religion, politics, etc). I used to teach pre-k and she teaches kindergarten. Her school is 5 mins from my house and we only live 30 mins apart. Plus, our parents live in between us, so we are geographically close and see each other at least 3 times a week.</p> <p>Also, she loves my kids and is a huge part of their lives. She definitely took on the doting aunt role and I love it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368892 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 23:37:24 +0000 MrsYellowJacket 2368892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a good question. I'm 6 years older than my brother, so off the bat large age gap and different genders. However, we're super close. I'm not sure why - maybe we were always expected to be respectful to each other. We both have huge hearts and love animals.... Hmm... Good food for thought, but we're very close! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368885 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 23:16:00 +0000 Tanjowen 2368885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm close now to my sister because I worked hard for that relationship. She and I are worlds apart in everything and when I was 13 she was married and gone. At that point due to a crazy upbringing my oldest brother had moved far away and my parents and I were not on great terms. When I got married I made a point to start calling my sister almost every day and setting up lunches. It has developed into a nice relationship, if not deep. I needed a family connection and so glad she and I have one now.</p> <p>My siblings and I aren't close due to life circumstances. If we had been raised in a more traditional environment I would be curious how it would have gone. I'm just now getting to really know my oldest brother but our youngest brother is still estranged from us all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368884 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 23:15:45 +0000 LindsayLou 2368884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have two younger brothers (2.5 and 5 years younger than I am), and I would say that I close with my middle brother and pretty close with my younger one. The two of them are also close. I think in our particular case, it has a lot to due with how we were raised. We are all three very different, and have different priorities--although similar values. Our parents aren't close to their own siblings, and one of their goals as parents was that we grow up to be friends. They fostered and encouraged that, and I think they were successful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368867 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 22:38:06 +0000 Anagram 2368867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not very close to by oldest two siblings, but I think that's mainly age difference (they are 17 and 15 years older than me). I'm closer to the other 3 siblings that are closer to my ahe--but we are spread so far apart geographically, I'm not like, best friends with any of them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368866 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 22:37:46 +0000 runnerd 2368866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My siblings are 16, 15, and 9 years older than me, so we didn't really grow up together, so that is a big reason we aren't close. I was actually very close to two of them up until I went to college, and no longer live in same town, so we grew apart since we don't have a lot of overlapping life experiences due to age difference. I'm still close to my oldest sibling, but more in a second mom way, and we really only talk once every few months.</p> <p>Other reason we aren't that close is my mom died when I was 13 years old, and the dynamic of our family changed a lot after that - without her, my dad didn't "glue" the family together and plan get togethers and celebrations the way she did, so we just didn't keep the strong family bond we had before.</p> <p>Additionally I disagree with some of their religious views that I think are bigoted, but don't voice it to avoid conflict. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368858 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 22:15:41 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2368858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We aren't not close and I think it's just basic personality differences. We've never been that close. I want to like him, he's just one of those people that rubs me the wrong way. But to his credit, he is a super sweet and caring guy and a fantastic uncle. He's just a little goofy. lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368856 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 22:11:56 +0000 regberadaisy 2368856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My brothers are much older than me. 6-8 years older. Growing up they were always an authority figure, not a friend. Now that we're older we are closer in that there's less of a parent / child relationship. But I don't think we'll ever be BFFs. But I know without a sliver of a doubt that they will always be there for me. They have proven that time and time again through my life. We definitely have our differences and will never "go drinking together". But, My brothers ROCK.</p> <p>@LuLu Mom: THIS:<br /> "my parents raised us to be close and I would have dropped everything if they called and needed me,"</p> <p>That's, I think, all I can hope and expect of our kids. They don't have to be the best of friends but I hope they will always have each other's back. Long after we're gone. I know siblings that are not like that and I think that's very sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368850 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 22:05:32 +0000 JennyD 2368850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: very interesting. This is very similar to my experience. I was the oldest (of the kids at home) and felt like I was responsible for taking care of them. This caused issues when I was a teenager between my sister and I. And my younger brother didn't need much taking care of so we never actually were too close. </p> <p>As adults, my sister and I got closer once we both had kids. I have very little to do with my younger brother. I find I can only deal with those two in "small doses". </p> <p>Big Brother is 10 years older than me and did not grow up in the same house as the rest of us (same dad, different mom). I don't know that we're close but we certainly get along better. I figure it's because we have very similar personalities. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368686 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 18:49:19 +0000 mrsjyw 2368686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My brother and I are only 20 months apart but I've always felt the need to care for him and take care of him. Even now as he is a grown and married man I like to help him whenever I can and when he needs it. Our personalities are similar and we're both firecely loyal which makes it easy to be close. Growing up we always had each other's backs because our parents worked 12 hour 6 days a week jobs as small business owners and we were on our own a lot. </p> <p>Our parents definitely instilled the closeness too. We always had family dinner together went to church every Sunday and spent the day at the park or skating rink etc on their one day off from work. We shared a room until I was in 4th or 5th grade too! We've always been best friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368679 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 18:35:47 +0000 mauxie 2368679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great question! It's hard for me to pinpoint... </p> <p>I'm very close with my older (only) sis. She's about 3 years older than me. We grew up fighting a lot but I guess our bond was fostered by dealing with the experience of being children of working immigrants? She did a lot for me in terms of helping me with hw, translating for my parents, etc. Our personalities were/are very different but we speak daily and really hope my kids can be as close, one day. </p> <p>I'd say we really started getting closer after college. She got married right after graduating but I would go to visit her often. Her DD and my DD are the same age so that's been a factor, too. She's been my go-to for parenting questions and stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368678 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 18:35:45 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 2368678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am one of five siblings and I am close to all of them. I talk every day to two of them, and talk at least once or twice a week to the other two. I think the main reason we are all close is the way we were brought up. We were homeschooled and spent every single day together. We spent every day out riding bikes, riding horses around our property, building tree forts, etc. We were each others' favorite playmates even though we also spent lots of time with the neighbor kids. When my parents transitioned us to public school, that closeness stayed and we always looked out for each other.</p> <p>I also have at least one thing in common with each of my siblings and those commanalities keep us close even in adulthood. For example, my older brother and I were home schooled the longest, did church youth group together, went to camp together for 8 years, and were the "older kids" who were usually in charge of the 3 younger siblings.</p> <p>My sister right below me in age lives less than 5 minutes from my house. So we see each other almost every day.</p> <p>The other 2 siblings are in college but we FaceTime often (daily with one of them).</p> <p>Another huge reason I'm close with all of them is because I'm the only one with kids, and they all want to be close to their nieces. So they all make an effort to stay in close contact with me, so they can be in close contact with my kids :) I'm so grateful for that! They want to be a big part of their lives, and none of them have kids of their own yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368674 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 18:31:03 +0000 hellobeeboston 2368674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>2.5 years difference and out personalities couldn't be more opposite, we are good on the phone and keep in touch pretty often, now, but are competitive and fought a lot growing up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368672 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 18:25:21 +0000 Greentea 2368672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are not close because my mum created an environment where only she mattered. She is a bully, and it was like every man for himself, but I'm not like that and would stand up for others. My siblings are just like her. Both parents contributed to a very unhealthy sibling relationship where competition was encouraged and parents mattered most. It created a lot of problems between us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368670 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 18:21:59 +0000 Ginabean3 2368670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm close to my siblings (I'm the oldest, my sister is 3.5 younger than me and my brother 2.5 younger than her). We weren't super close while we were growing up but once we hit college age we all became much closer. I think a lot of it had to do with my dad passing of cancer and the need to comfort/protect our mom (and each other!).</p> <p>I love them and talk/text with them everyday! If anything ever happened to me/DH they would absolute be the ones to care for our daughters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368623 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 17:36:07 +0000 Raindrop 2368623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great question! I would love to know the answer to this.</p> <p>I’m 3.5 years younger than my brother. If he wasn’t my brother I actually think we would be great friends. I actually have a few guy friends that are very similar to his personality. The thing is growing up it felt like we were always pitted against each other and I came out ahead and he’s very bitter about that. He is now getting passed that – slowly but surely. I feel if our parents just didn’t pit us against each other we would have a better relationship but it was almost always who was doing better in the round of cousins (not super close to any cousins also because of this) so they (parents) can brag.</p> <p>I’m trying really hard to not let this happen with my sons. I’m unreasonably worried about this.</p> <p>My husband is the oldest of 3 boys, all 2 years apart. They aren’t very close at all either and his parents seem really supportive of each one and each of their interests. It’s just none of their interests really aligned and they are all so super different. I think they just couldn’t find any common ground. So there is that. </p> <p>I mean I guess you can try your hardest to have your kids be friends but in the end it just might not happen. DH and I will drop anything to be there for our brothers if they need us but other than that… we aren’t very close to them. We wouldn’t call them to just say hi or catch up outside of family gatherings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368616 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 17:30:11 +0000 lov2teach 2368616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sister and I are 2 years apart. She is older than I am. Growing up, I thought she walked on water. Unfortunately she thought I was the pesky little sister who always followed her around. We lived in neighborhoods with lots of kids so she always played with them. I was the shy one who never made a ton of friends. To this day, we are not close. We talk every once in awhile but that's it. I still wish we were but just too different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368610 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 17:25:26 +0000 MrsKRB 2368610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm friendly, but not close with my siblings. The biggest reason I can think of (besides our age difference), is we are both really independent and kind of do our own thing. Our family was never close growing up, so we didn't have those roots set when our parents got divorced and my dad died. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368608 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 17:24:56 +0000 LuLu Mom 2368608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Growing up they were close, I was the odd one out (middle child), I always knew I was different. I didn't become close with my siblings until I had children of my own. Don't get me wrong, we always were in contact/at family functions/ect. but I just wasn't "the same" as them before I had children. They both settled down young, married high school sweethearts, had kids in their early 20s, ect. and I took on a 4 year degree, lived independently, didn't really settle down until my mid 20s, or have kids until my upper 20s. </p> <p>My parents raised us to be close and I would have dropped everything if they called and needed me, but the personal relationship didn't come until much later in life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368604 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 17:23:47 +0000 mrsrain 2368604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In large part because we have a narcissistic mother. We bonded over shared-difficulty with her! Now we are the very best of friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-are-you-close-with-your-siblings#post-2368602 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 17:22:07 +0000 ModernDayJibarita 2368602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sister is 2 years younger than me and we have never been very close. We never fought but we just never had any shared intrests and our personalities are very different; I'm very practical and realistic and she is a sentimental dreamer, which makes it hard to relate to one another's experiences and choices. </p> <p>I did ballet; she's a black belt on Tea Kwon Do<br /> I did math club; she was a cheerleader<br /> In school, I was the studious nerdy teachers pet and she was the poupular mean girl. </p> <p>I love her to death and the world is a better place because she exists but we aren't lose. She's my sister and I love her but she isn't my friend. </p>