https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 05:43:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705936 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 16:01:35 +0000 2PeasinaPod 705936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's always so frustrating when a family member (especially your mom) isn't as supportive as you'd like her to be. I think you should stick to your rule and not tell her anything that will solicit a response like this from her. That way, you can make your own informed decisions with your midwife and OB overseeing if it gets to that point.</p> <p>Here's hoping baby arrives sooner than 41+3! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705935 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 16:00:55 +0000 heartonastring 705935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the support and understanding, ladies.</p> <p>After her original midwife outburst she did call and apologize and told me it's just because she wants the best for me. I know that is the case here too, but @Raindrop hit the nail on the head re: wanting my mother to be supportive.</p> <p>From now on though, I'm going to keep it vague. I haven't told her that I'm hoping to have an unmedicated birth, as that would TOTALLY send her over the edge! So I'm going to treat everything else the same way and just tell her everything's fine and no other details. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705922 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 15:55:59 +0000 stlginkgo 705922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>it sucks when family isn't supportive. I would recommend that from this point on you give her general updates such as, "baby and I are doing great!"</p> <p>my mom (labor/delivery nurse and postpartum nurse) was completely anti all of my birth decisions. It made it really hard, but once the baby came she forgot all about it and was completely inthralled with LO </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705834 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 15:18:27 +0000 prettylizy 705834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom just about lost her ish when I signed an AMA after my frist trip to L&amp;D triage and went back home to continue to labor. She is a nurse and so the idea of leaving the hospital when the Dr's thought I should stay rocked her world. Once DD was born, she forgot it all. Good for you for standing your ground though :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705824 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 15:15:45 +0000 sslm 705824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is sooooo frustrating!!!! My mom was anti-midwife until she went to an appt with my sister. Now everyone thinks midwife is the way to go!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705746 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:48:12 +0000 Raindrop 705746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's terrible!</p> <p>BUT! I think it's normal for a daughter to want to talk to their mothers about the things that are going on in their lives. :) That’s probably why you can’t help but to tell your mother these things even though you know her response will be less than ideal.</p> <p>This happens all the time with me and my mother too. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705704 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:42:59 +0000 googly-eyes 705704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sucks that she isn't being supportive of your decisions, but it probably comes from a point of wanting everything to turn out well for you and LO! My mom makes a lot of comments about things I've read/want to try, etc and she often doesn't seem to trust my point of view re: LO, so I understand your frustration! But they mean well. :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705621 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:23:28 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 705621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry she isn't being more supportive. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705614 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:20:07 +0000 swurlygurl 705614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's so frustrating - sorry you have to deal with that!</p> <p>Good luck with that baby coming before too long, no fun still being pregnant at 40 weeks!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705613 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:20:04 +0000 avivoca 705613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! My mother is the same way, and I've just stopped telling her things. I'm not even mentioning unmedicated childbirth to her, especially after her reaction to the midwife/cloth diapering. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705609 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:18:29 +0000 Foodnerd81 705609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh that's so annoying. Sounds like it's time to just stop telling her things. </p> <p>It's funny- my mom is very skeptical of midwives, etc., and thinks it's a little weird not to see an OB (though she keeps most comments to herself). And yet, she is really skeptical of the medical establishment and thinks there is too much intervention, people get induced too early, etc. I'm like... well, mom, that's one of the reasons people choose to go with midwives... less intervention... Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705599 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:14:22 +0000 runsyellowlites 705599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Boo that!!!! I'm sure you're a much better daughter than I would be in that situation, especially being 40 weeks pregnant! Sorry you're dealing with that from someone that naturally I'm sure you'd want to be closer to/more likeminded in this season of life (her more likeminded to you, not your to her). It does sound like you have a wonderful midwife though so good for you to have support from your provider! I would just let mom know that you &amp; baby are fine and not get into details from here on out (easier said than done). GL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705592 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:13:12 +0000 Cherrybee 705592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, that is so frustrating! Certainly over here in the UK, the midwives are the most experienced and knowledgeable - my doctor told me to ask my midwife when I went to him about my pelvic trouble between midwife appointments!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705586 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:11:51 +0000 Dandelion 705586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, that's annoying...lucky for you, you're a grown woman, now, who doesn't have to do everything your mom tells you.</p> <p>I hope once your baby comes, she'll realize that everything is fine, and not pester you any more about it (although, chances are, there will be something else for her to nit pick at!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705581 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:10:34 +0000 Ginger333 705581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can totally relate ... I just stopped sharing stuff about my midwife appointments with people who were always negative about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705579 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:08:51 +0000 Sweet T 705579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry your mom won't listen to you! I think you'd be right in just not discussing it with her. All she needs to know is that you and baby are doing great! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-cant-i-just-keep-my-big-mouth-shut#post-705571 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:04:51 +0000 heartonastring 705571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I've posted before (<a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mother-being-judgmental-about-midwife</a>) about how my mother comes from a very medicalized background and is very anti-midwife. She won't listen to reason or even scientific literature about it, she hasn't done anything to educate herself about it, she just keeps asking me when I'm going to see a doctor. </p> <p>Anyhow, sometimes I tell her stuff expecting her to see the reason in it and she just can't and then I wonder why I even told her in the first place. I should have learned by now to just keep my mouth shut!</p> <p>Today's incident came when I talked to her after my 40 week midwife appointment at which we discussed postdates management. I told her that I'll be booked for a BPP at 41+3 (hopefully baby comes before then and this is all moot) and that it will be overseen by an OB. </p> <p>My midwife told me that some of the OBs are totally awesome, but that some like to employ scare tactics and try to insist on induction regardless of the BPP results (because where I live, for those in OB care, 41+3 is the standard induction timeline, despite the fact that the body that oversees OBs in my province say that low-risk women should go to 42 weeks before induction). Of course, in some cases, induction is indicated, but not all. My midwife's advice was that if they start with the scary language I should page her and she'll come right over and discuss the numbers and options with the OB and me without bias.</p> <p>My mother's response to this very reasonable suggestion? "No way. That's the point at which you stop listening to your midwife and do whatever the OB says."</p> <p>ARGH! I should have learned not to tell her these things! From now on, I'm just going to tell her what she wants to hear and do what I, and my medical providers, think is best. </p>