https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 07:47:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay/page/2#post-714884 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 19:19:34 +0000 immabeetoo 714884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ditto to what@mrbee &amp; @Honeybee said! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-714562 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 16:43:07 +0000 mrsjazz 714562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: The "expectation" thing bugs me and brings up an example for me, at a going away party for all the employees leaving the job (me included) every single person said to me, "Oh you're going to stay home with the baby?" After the fifth time I was asked I became annoyed, not because I think there is something wrong with staying home, but because everyone assumed/expected I was. </p> <p>People were not asking the father who was leaving if he was staying home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-714521 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 16:11:59 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 714521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: Amen!</p> <p>@looch: I think it's good to bring that thread into it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-714519 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 16:10:02 +0000 Honeybee 714519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think choices are wonderful, but unless we start respecting those decisions without judgement, "choice" is really meaningless. Assuming or expecting that a woman will work inside the home and men will work outside the home is damaging to both men and women because it disrespects whatever choice they eventually do make. I hope both my daughter and my son will respect me and look up to me for working outside the home, when I start a new career in the next couple years, and for working inside the home, as I'm doing now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-714493 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 15:43:30 +0000 looch 714493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know this isn't a piece about parental leave, but I do think the answer lies not only with better/longer maternal/paternal leave, it also must include affordable day care options. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-714483 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 15:33:41 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 714483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: you bring up some terrific points!</p> <p>@Maysprout: maybe you are starting to reap some of the rewards of our societal evolution? ( that not every child is aware of the gender role differences prevalent in our society)</p> <p>@mrbee: That was the point Mr. Jacks made about this piece as well :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-714474 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 15:18:14 +0000 Maysprout 714474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't really identify with this article. I work part-time and intend to work full-time at some point while my children are young but it still didn't resonate. I love that my daughter asks for my husband and when I tell her he's at work she says 'no, no no'. She's young and maybe that will change as she gets older but I hope and expect that he keeps work in perspective, just like I will and do. Honestly we'll probably choose to work less than work a lot to buy new shoes and lots of expensive lessons. Staying home with my daughter was one of the best experiences I've had and I grew a lot more during that time than I have from working so for both my daughters and sons I hope they're proud of me whether I'm working for money or working mainly as a mother and I'll make sure they know I'll be proud of them whichever they choose as well. I did not feel less valuable staying at home than I did working and that is never a message I'd want to portray to my children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-714451 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 14:47:11 +0000 mrbee 714451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I agree that Mrs. Jack's example of same-sex parents was on point!</p> <p>As for maternity leave and workplace flexibility - for me, it's less about protecting maternity leave and more about expanding it so that there's more parental leave for both parents! That would give parents the choice to either embrace traditional gender roles - or to carve out their own... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-714412 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 13:51:24 +0000 daniellemybelle 714412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: You bring up a really interesting point, and something I have wrestled with personally. When you say, "I don't think I'd want things to be the same for men and women," I admit I bristle initially. That's because so many brave women fought so hard for us to just have the choice to work to begin with... or to own property... or vote... or have any kind of identity OTHER than a wife and mother. I think it's so easy for us as women to lose sight of that - I know I do.</p> <p>At the same time, I do agree that it's important to not hold women to the same standards as men in every scenario - not because they are "the weaker sex" or because of traditional gender roles - but because I do think it is important to protect things like maternity leave and workplace flexibility. If we don't, that makes it so much harder for women to live their choices. I truly believe if we had BETTER benefits for women like many other countries in terms of family and work, more women would choose to work. Of course, the tough thing is that to get there, we do need more women in leadership to advocate for women's rights... it's a kind of cyclical issue.</p> <p>This is an aside, and I don't want to derail the conversation, but I think @Mrs. Jacks was right-on to use same-sex families as an example, because it just goes to show you that every scenario is different, and this whole work &amp; family thing is complex and unique for every family. I know just from being active on Hellobee that is so different from family to family even if every family has a mom and a dad, but the same-sex parents example really is a good illustration, and shouldn't have anything to do with a "debate." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-714189 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 10:55:20 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 714189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I don't see in harm in extending the good parenting analogy to gay parents, especially since I initiated this thread! There is still a division of work to be done. I went there because you were saying that it was expected of you to take time off. I think the problem is that there is an "expectation" and I believe it should be fluid. I cite my gay parenting friends as an example.</p> <p>As long as someone is saying there should be an expectation that I stay home for a period of time, then you are saying you would like to see societal pressure attempting to limit my choices.</p> <p>This essay is by a friend of a friend, and I think the point about fixed gender roles speaks for itself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-714170 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 10:34:01 +0000 lomom 714170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Women have the choice and that should be protected and celebrated. It's a wonderful thing to be able to choose. I don't think anyone is less of anything for whatever choice they make, but I don't want to see the ability to choose slip away. And please don't turn this into homosexual vs. heterosexual. The article was not about whether gay parents can be good parents, it was about a straight couple and their choices to work outside the home or not. I don't think a debate about gay vs straight parenting is necessary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-714047 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 09:17:54 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 714047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I think in an era of healthy formulas and other advances, women have the opportunity to choose their roles and decide what's best for their families. It doesn't make me any less of a mom or woman that I went back to work. And don't even get me started on the same sex parents who I know, love, and who are amazing parents who parent beyond gender roles! There are many ways to do this parenting gig correctly! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-713901 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 05:20:02 +0000 honeybear 713901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: @Weagle: I agree, too. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-713083 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 13:13:10 +0000 avivoca 713083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was a great article--thanks for sharing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-713063 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 12:33:49 +0000 Weagle 713063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-713049 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 12:15:17 +0000 lomom 713049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not offended by people asking me if I'm taking 6-8 weeks, etc but not asking DH and I wouldn't be offended or upset if my child asked why I did or didn't work. I believe the mom's role is to be a caretaker in ways dads just aren't. Not to say that dads aren't nurturing, each parent has their own way of ensuring their child is loved and cared for and dads do things moms just can't. Biologically, men and women were designed to be different in many ways, including how they care for their children. As a woman and soon to be mom, I cherish the fact that it's expected for me to take more than a week off and that it's acceptable for me to reduce my hours or even to step away from my career. </p> <p>I don't think I'd want things to be the same for men and women and I'd share my thankfulness of having the choice with my child if asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-712752 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 08:31:39 +0000 808love 712752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great sentiment! I deeply enjoy what I do for a living as well. I feel perfectly matched for my job and that I'm contributing in a significant way. I have to remind myself that it is ok to choose work in addition to (not instead of) loving my child fully. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-712608 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 22:58:58 +0000 Weagle 712608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I have chosen for me to stay home, whereas my mother always worked outside of the home, and his mom did some of both. I'm thankful that LO will have examples of women who have chosen different paths, and it's my hope that she will never feel like she's not valued no matter what her choice is on this subject. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-712604 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 22:39:26 +0000 red_seattle 712604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-712081 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 15:47:21 +0000 Ra 712081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Love! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-712079 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 15:46:04 +0000 BKCaribBaby 712079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was great! Thank you. I especially like the first quotation re: fathers. My husband has a very demanding career, and there is often little question about his role as a father. I'm in the process of going through my own career reformation and so this is very timely. </p> <p>I'm also in the same boat as Mrs. Jazz in that my mother was a single woman and had no choice. SAHMs were a rarity where I grew up, so many aspects of my life as a new mother are unchartered territory for me. Thanks again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-712078 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 15:45:41 +0000 2PeasinaPod 712078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Love it! Thanks so much for posting it. I had this "argument" with my mom the other day. She basically told me how terrible it was that I was working instead of being home with LO and got me really down. Especially since I missed him terribly that day. This was exactly the thing I needed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-712068 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 15:42:30 +0000 littlek 712068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Love it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-712022 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 15:26:07 +0000 MrsStormy 712022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is really great. I hate having to explain to people that I plan to go back to work not because we need the money (although we do for the lifestyle we have) but simply because I want to, I'm a better, more happy and satisfied me when I work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-712000 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 15:17:06 +0000 sunshineandsushi 712000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Love it! This is perfect timing, since I just returned to work from maternity leave yesterday. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-711989 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 15:13:07 +0000 Bookish 711989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love this. It is exactly what I needed to read today.</p> <p>It's been bugging me lately that no one asked my DH if he was going to be a SAHD, or judges him for not taking off more than 8 weeks before going back to work (he's taking 1). Even though I do *have* to work to support my family, I hope to pass on to my daughter that women should have all choices available to them, and should not be judged for whichever path they choose. </p> <p>Ah, this made my day. Thank you for posting it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-711893 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 14:42:34 +0000 Mrsbells 711893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I havent read the whole thing either but I also like the excerpts that you posted. So very true. we need a like button! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-711889 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 14:41:33 +0000 Alivoo01 711889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was such a beautiful story!! Love it!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-711885 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 14:41:21 +0000 Foodnerd81 711885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: My mom was a SAHM until my youngest sister went away to college and I STILL gave her flack about not spending enough time with me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-i-work-an-essay#post-711795 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 14:18:10 +0000 immabeetoo 711795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's interesting because I know when I was in middle/high school, I gave my Mom a ton of flack for NOT working. I've apologized since of course. Even though I stay at home, this essay is really powerful! </p>