https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 18:49:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2348839 Mon, 09 Nov 2015 10:21:56 +0000 LulaBee 2348839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is my second TG pregnancy and typically once people ask/indicate they are annoyed (so weird to me) it doesn't come up. My mom both times has asked if she can go to us and find out and not tell me. Um, no. Docs/nurses are usually very supportive and think it's great- I've had an us every 2 weeks this pregnancy and I've had to remind tech not to tell us every time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2348259 Sun, 08 Nov 2015 16:08:04 +0000 Miss Sarah 2348259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've actually had negative responses from deciding to find out! Why anyone should care what the parents choose to do is beyond my comprehension. If you're patient enough to wait, good for you! My husband really wanted to know and being a planner, I was excited to find out ahead of time too... But there were a few people in our lives that expressed disappointment in our decision. And these would be people that aren't even that close to us! </p> <p>@WinterBee: Agreed...its best just to ignore those people. Do what works for you. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2347992 Sun, 08 Nov 2015 09:43:39 +0000 WinterBee 2347992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: DH and I absolutely want to find out the gender with our baby when I get pregnant, and we seem to have the opposite reaction from people haha.<br /> They become frustrated because we're 'ruining one of life's great surprises'. Hmmmm... it'll still be a surprise, just a couple months earlier... and really it's only 1 of 2 options haha.<br /> Good luck with your pregnancy! Ignore those nosy Nancy's! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2347965 Sun, 08 Nov 2015 09:01:14 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2347965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Goose: that's what I told someone just last week after I already answered the sex question. For us, we really truly have no preference so waiting doesn't bother us. </p> <p>@fancyfunction: when people start asking about the name they stop and follow up with "are you sharing??" For our boys name I don't mind because it's set in stone and I tell people that. 97% of the responses come off genuinely positive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2347961 Sun, 08 Nov 2015 08:50:49 +0000 fancyfunction 2347961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's like with my hisband's family. We know we're having a boy but won't tell anyone the name. It's a steady stream of guessing, researching names and more. I find it so irritating - you'll find out the name in a few months, just wait!! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2347876 Sun, 08 Nov 2015 01:19:23 +0000 Braveturtle 2347876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We found out with DS and are planning to find out this time as well. DS is going to be five when the baby is born and he is so excited to find out and asks all the time if it's a brother or sister. I'm not a very patient person in general, and DH is fine either way. </p> <p>My SIL just had her second and they were TG for both. I sometimes feel like we should wait, but I feel it's a surprise no matter what and I just want to know. I have been feeling a lot worse during this pregnancy than my first, so the anatomy scan is something I'm really excited for and looking forward to. Knowing it is only about a month away makes it a bit easier to deal with the nausea and fatigue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2341235 Sun, 01 Nov 2015 05:43:49 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2341235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't find out until the day of and it was so wonderful to do it that way! We only had a few people who didn't like the idea though. Most people congratulated us on wanting to keep it a surprise. Yes, some relatives experienced a mild minute of frustration because they couldn't buy something gender specific, but it passed because they have our child's whole life to do that. </p> <p>On the whole it was a well-received decision because like so many people say: there are so few true surprises in life. Our other response to people was: it truly does not matter whether we have a boy or girl as long as we have a healthy baby we will be happy and that was something people accepted and understood when we said it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2341228 Sun, 01 Nov 2015 03:49:52 +0000 auggiefrog 2341228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My experience has been:<br /> Inquiring person: "Are you going to find out what you are having?"<br /> Me:"No, we are waiting until he/ she is born"<br /> IP: "Oh," Pause, " I could never do that, I am such a planner". Then IP goes into how they told people/ or some other tyrant as I politely listen and nod. </p> <p>I'm a planner too. I'm just planning for all future children, and by just staying gender neutral this means that I don't have to buy tons of stuff twice. And I'm saving myself from our societies views on 'blue for boy, pink for girl'. And lastly, why do you even bother asking if you are just going to go into a tyrant about how you found out, and how you told everyone. This time is about me and my baby. Stay out of my uterus! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2341183 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 21:49:09 +0000 FannyMae 2341183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: even more so, why does it matter to complete random strangers?? I had the bank teller lady questioning me for ten minutes about gender/how many/do I want more, while also telling me about her own family plans. Lady, give me my money and let me go already! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2341126 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 19:56:09 +0000 BandDmommy 2341126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally don't care the gender of anyone's baby, usually I don't talk about pregnancy related topics unless the mom to be brings it up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2341122 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 19:39:46 +0000 Torchwood 2341122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FannyMae: It bewilders me too. WHY does it matter so much to people? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2341108 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 19:01:29 +0000 MoonMoon 2341108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>People weren't really annoyed with us, I think most people were just amazed DH and I were finally having a baby after waiting 15 years, lol.</p> <p>But I also avoided the consumer-y aspects of pregnancy. We announced really late, and only in person, not online. No registry. No shower. I wasn't comfortable with any of that stuff. </p> <p>It's funny though, my mom and I both secretly thought it would be a girl-we were wrong! She actually bought some dresses she ended up having to return them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2341078 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 17:39:04 +0000 Grace 2341078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lol, I loved messing with the people that really really wanted to know. I told them that I wasn't finding out just to drive them craaaaaaazy. Not true, but it made me laugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2341066 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 16:50:13 +0000 FannyMae 2341066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Why on earth do people get annoyed if a couple finds out the gender but doesn't want to tell others? What bearing does that have on anyone else's life? (Makes it harder to buy gifts? Buy them once the kid is born?) I know what I'm having, I've told only my mum and best friend and nobody else. Barely anybody has asked what I am having, and the few that have I've told that I'm keeping it to myself. Big F'n Whoopee? I don't want to draw attention to myself/my pregnancy and try to avoid having conversations about gender/names/parenting plans etc with people that aren't really interesting and its just "small talk". </p> <p>The other day I was harangued by a middle aged man working at the grocery store about what I am having, and if I'm going to have a third.... wtf dude, is that not too personal for small talk with a stranger? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people/page/2#post-2341059 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 16:21:11 +0000 Greentea 2341059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think people are just excited! It evolves the way they can picture the new baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2341042 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 15:42:01 +0000 daniellemybelle 2341042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find it so odd that anyone would be annoyed, or rude, about that! </p> <p>I can understand folks wanting to shop for the baby, but just get creative! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2341039 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 15:35:43 +0000 autumnlove 2341039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It only annoys me a little when people know and keep it a secret because they want specific gifts...gear, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2341032 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 15:16:21 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2341032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: That sucks. People need to get a life if that bothers them... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2341030 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 15:13:04 +0000 Torchwood 2341030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: L has blankets in those colors, and she's all girl! That's really pretty.</p> <p> @2littlepumpkins: We were initially TG with R, and no, people were definitely rude about it, not just surprised. These same people were really snotty that we went gender neutral on the nursery and don't put her in all pink, all the time. My aunt literally told my mom (in an angry voice) that she was buying us pink stuff whether we like it or not. Which doesn't even make sense, because I love pink. We just don't put her in ALL pink. Though I deliberately put her in her most boyish outfits when we're going to see that aunt. A bit petty, but it irritated me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2341020 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 14:37:34 +0000 coopsmama 2341020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only find it annoying when people know the gender but keep it a secret for everyone else to know but themselves. Otherwise I think team green (where the parents don't know, too) is super fun! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2340994 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 14:05:39 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 2340994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are TG this time and I've received mostly positive feedback. The only people who were disappointed were the grandmas, but neither pushed us very hard other than a few jokes about having the US tech write it down in a sealed envelope to give to them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2340991 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 13:58:38 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2340991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are you sure you're not mistaking surprise for horror/negative feedback? I tend to think most people don't really care what gender other people are having except the grandparents.</p> <p>The only negative thing I can think one is that people use it to build up their pregnancy for attention. But I think the same of over the top gender reveals so... </p> <p>Welcome to parenting, someone will always think you're doing it wrong! Don't worry about them and do what you want. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2340968 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 12:58:56 +0000 looch 2340968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Oh I almost forgot, my mother was adamant my son was a girl. To the point where she was dreaming about it and buying girl clothes. I don't know what came over her.</p> <p>She even picked out the American Girl doll she was going to bring with her when she came to visit following the birth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2340967 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 12:57:36 +0000 BKCaribBaby 2340967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. I got lots of passive aggressive comments about our TG choice even from some people who I consider friends. It was annoying, but it was good preparation for being a parent. Everyone has an opinion about your choices. I learned that pretty early. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2340952 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 12:09:17 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2340952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We found out we were having a boy and people were offended by that. Friends and even people we didn't know seemed so disappointed. I enjoyed knowing but I can see why others have a different preference. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2340949 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 12:05:40 +0000 Foodnerd81 2340949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: that's beautiful- and I would certainly use it for my daughter but I do think it leans boyish. </p> <p>@lady baltimore: my mom usually uses neutral colors still, except maybe trimming with pink or purple or blue if she knows the moms preference. But it's the actual patterns, like she likes this one little man cardigan, or a little girl one that has a smocked type front. She actually has mentioned that there are more cute knitting patterns that are neutral but she prefers to crochet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2340934 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 11:27:24 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2340934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lovehoneybee: your MIL is the same as my mom. She just wants to know if it's a girl to start stockpiling clothes. She really thinks she's at a disadvantage. LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2340926 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 11:12:33 +0000 Winterbee15 2340926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't have the patience to wait but I think it would be such a fun surprise. It seems like there is so much gender neutral stuff out there too! I don't think it's annoying at all. We have a son but our nursery could be for either gender really. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2340924 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 11:03:59 +0000 lady baltimore 2340924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Yep - that is pretty close to the colors we are using in our "gender neutral" nursery. Beautiful work - I wish I could quilt! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-is-surprise-so-annoying-to-other-people#post-2340923 Sat, 31 Oct 2015 11:03:55 +0000 wrkbrk 2340923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I knew I wanted to find out because it would help me bond to think of the baby as a boy, call him by his name, plan his baby book and so on. That's because I am type A. However, I admire people who are laid back and can wait until delivery and I had several friends do so!!!! Not annoying whatsoever. </p>