https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 10:35:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-492333 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:23:58 +0000 singingbee 492333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@allison: and @Smurfette: I know!!!! All of us pretty much stopped being friends with the 'mean' couple. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-492310 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:15:03 +0000 Smurfette 492310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennimac: wow! That is a crappy thing to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-492302 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:11:42 +0000 allison 492302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennimac: Re: the Kimberly name thing -- wow, what a crappy thing to do! Regardless of the fact that the other couple had stuff monogrammed. I don't think I could be friends, either, with someone who obviously, intentionally, and passive-aggressively chose the same name as me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-492237 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:45:51 +0000 singingbee 492237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I did have some friends that were pregnant at the same time as other friends. They both were having girls and one couple had everything personalized and monogrammed with the name Kimberly. Well, the other couple said that they weren't going to use that name and they weren't going to tell what their name was. Fast forward to the birth of the second couple's baby they actually went into labor before the first Couple ANZ in end up having a girl and they decided to name her Kimberly. The couple that had everything monogramed and personalized stopped being friends with them and wouldn't talk to them at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-492230 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:43:15 +0000 singingbee 492230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: I did miscarry at a later time (20wks), so I will not 'announce' it like I did before. I'll tell family and probably HB so I can talk about and get support if (god forbid) something happened, but no formal announcement until actual baby. Most likely. I don't think people judge you if you tell early, it's just that so,e people are more cautious. We had people who hadn't heard and so I had to keep telling people. Then, I had people who hadn't heard, clearly I didn't look pregnant, and I wa spast my due date........so, they asked how life with a baby was. Imagine the crickets there and th explanation that happened after that. I think that's why some people wait. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-492122 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:01:40 +0000 winniebee 492122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't decide on a name until the morning of labor, but I didn't keep a secret the names that were in contention. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-492107 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 16:59:10 +0000 sarac 492107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: I can see that. I certainly wouldn't put it on facebook super early. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-491837 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:55:37 +0000 Mrsbells 491837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: I dont think people judge you if you miscarry. its can just be hard to deal with when everyone is excitedly asking you about the pregnancy and you have to respond with "i had a miscarriage" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-491791 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:42:25 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 491791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I floated one trial balloon with one friend and immediately got what I perceived as negative unsolicited feedback. We kept it to ourselves after that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-491747 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:25:32 +0000 shopaholic 491747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only people IRL I know that kept the names a secret usually didn't want any unsolicited feedback on their non-traditional names. i.e. Most recently, the name was "Wolf."<br /> I wanted to keep it open as a possibility because maybe I'd want to "meet her" first before finalizing the name, but DH went and email blasted and told everyone our name choice at 12 weeks.<br /> It's a pretty common &amp; traditional name though, so we haven't had any kind of negative or unsolicited comments from anyone. Just our parents seem to have some issues pronouncing it. I think it's pretty cute and nice though that now everyone already refers to the baby by her name and it's like they all know and love her already! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-491722 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:19:59 +0000 sarac 491722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really don't get it either. But then, I don't have anyone in my life who would say rude things, so that helps. And I picked a classical and unique but not super far out name, so there isn't a lot to judge about it. It's up there with keeping the gender secret, I just don't get it. </p> <p>I don't really get keeping any part of it secret. The only reason I'll announce later with a future baby (I announced at 8 weeks) is that I know people judge if you announce and then miscarry. I told my mother about 10 minutes after I got a positive test, and the rest of my family and close girlfriends that night. If I'd miscarried, I'd have wanted them to know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-491441 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:50:44 +0000 2PeasinaPod 491441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We kept our name secret b/c our parents (namely our mothers) would have had strong opinions about it. My mom flat out told me she thought it was way too old fashioned once he was here and asked me what made us choose that name. Totally inappropriate to say or ask, but we expected it. Hence the main reason why we kept it a secret.</p> <p>We also found out we were having a boy, so we wanted something to be a little bit of a surprise. We wanted the option to be able to change our mind if we didn't think he looked like the name we chose as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-491436 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:49:52 +0000 ladyfingers 491436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've told everybody and haven't had any negative feedback at all. But I know people who have. I guess we were just lucky or it's a pretty benign name (though I know people who have heard "that is the stupidest name ever" for perfectly normal and lovely names so I don't get it). Although people ALWAYS ask me if he's named after a famous baseball player (he shares a name with one). So I have to go through the whole story: no, but that's how we got the idea, blah blah blah. So sometimes I just tell people we're not sharing because I want to avoid a conversation ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive/page/2#post-491402 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:44:44 +0000 Modern Daisy 491402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I made DH swear to me that he would keep the names we are considering a secret and I dont plan on telling a soul. My reasoning is it's hard enough for us to pick out names both of us really like so I don't want to give anyone the opportunity to talk us out of something or make a comment that sours the name for us. I also don't want anyone to steal our ideas! </p> <p>I also want us to be able to change our minds like a lot of PP's. My relatives LOVE to give monogrammed presents so I would anticipate receiving a good amount of them at my shower. It's a good thing my initials didn't change with marriage, lol! </p> <p>And yes I think people can be very opinionated/catty when it comes to what other people are going to name their babies. Especially the grandparents who feel like they can say whatever they want since they are our elders. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491375 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:38:14 +0000 lolabee 491375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We aren't sharing potential names, but that has a lot to do with being TG, although we wouldn't share even if we knew the sex. I guess mostly because we don't want people's opinions (I've had too many friends change the names they loved because of opinions from parents/siblings or close friends), superstition and element of surprise! Plus we haven't decided 100% on names for either sex, figure we need to meet LO first. </p> <p>I don't think there is right or wrong in sharing or not, all depends on what each couple is comfortable with! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491340 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:28:12 +0000 lemondrop 491340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We wanted zero opinions from others about it, as it is our decision to make. We both have parents that are retired teachers, they always have students associated with certain names. </p> <p>We also wanted to be able to change our minds if the name didn't fit.</p> <p>I don't care about stealing names, that isn't an issue in our families. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491335 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:27:25 +0000 mediagirl 491335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't want other people's opinions on the name and didn't want people trying to change our minds. We also wanted to "officially" announce her arrival by announcing her name for the first time. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491326 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:25:46 +0000 Weagle 491326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We kept it secret until almost the end because DH wanted to. He wanted to make sure he really loved the name and that we didn't get only monogrammed stuff at showers :) It turned out to be a good thing because we changed our minds about 3 weeks away from delivery. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491316 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:22:52 +0000 LuLu Mom 491316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were open about, it wasn't so much as a "claiming of the name" as a we are going to use it no matter what. I never posted it on FB or anything, but if someone asked I would share it. I had a couple people ask "so how did you come up with her name" or "i've never heard it used for a girl" but I just let it slide! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491304 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:20:40 +0000 .twist. 491304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@allison: haha that works! I'm worried because I think this will be our only kid. I might just have to buck up and talk to my mil about not doing it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491267 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:13:08 +0000 allison 491267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: try to spread the word now that we prefer gender-neutral baby things so we can re-use for future children. Hopefully, that will also deter people from putting names/monograms on things. Otherwise, I'll probably just attempt to rip out the monogram, if it's something I otherwise like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491238 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:04:27 +0000 MsLipGloss 491238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We told toward the end. But yeah, it was just another pregnancy-related thing that people could give you their opinion *cough* assvice *cough* on, and I just didn't want to deal with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491225 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:00:46 +0000 birdofafeather 491225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we weren't sold until probably a couple weeks ago. even now, DH and i don't call her by the name we chose very often. now that we're in the final countdown, i am still looking around, but unless she comes out not looking like the name we chose, we know it. no one else knows because we didn't want any opinions either way. it doesn't matter how supportive people are, faces and opinions are always shared! now we're excited to have a secret and we can't wait to announce when she arrives! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491182 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 12:48:41 +0000 JerricaBenton 491182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're not telling anyone. Number one: It's a private thing to us, the only 'secret' we have since we told everyone we're having a girl. Number two: I am not interested in feedback. You'd think someone would know enough to just say 'that's nice' if they don't like it but they don't. The name we chose is one we love and we are fully decided, so I know it would bother me to hear someone say something negative. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491181 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 12:48:20 +0000 MamaJ 491181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We kept it a secret because we wanted something to be a surprise since everyone knew we were having a boy. I was also worried we would change it last minute. Which we kind of did. We had one name set then changed our minds when I was about 30 weeks along. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491159 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 12:37:04 +0000 littlek 491159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We told people LOs name the minute we found out we were having a boy. I personally don't see the point in keeping it a secret. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491150 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 12:35:40 +0000 mrbee 491150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't tell anyone... because we didn't have either name until just before we left the hospital! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491138 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 12:31:08 +0000 .twist. 491138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@allison: oh gosh. I am worried about this. I HATE it too and my MIL LOVES to do it. Both my step kids have their names on EVERYTHING and it drives me crazy! What are you going to do about after the baby is born?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491129 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 12:26:51 +0000 Anagram 491129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sure that, just like in wedding planning, it all depends on the couple and their families. Our families are both very supportive and laid back. I can't imagine them saying anything rude about names or being pushy--our wedding planning was a pretty drama-free breeze (and we had two different religious ceremonies and two receptions). </p> <p>But also, I think they all know DH and I well to know we aren't going to name our baby "Apple" or "Sugarplum" or anything. ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-keep-names-so-secretive#post-491119 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 12:21:21 +0000 hilsy85 491119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kept his name a secret because I didn't really want people's opinions on it--I didn't want to hear, "Oh that reminds me of the actor," or even worse, " i had a douchebag ex boyfriend named that!" lol. Plus, I feel like it made it a bit more exciting when he was born because people finally got to know his name. </p>