https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 19 May 2026 04:45:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-602490 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 19:03:57 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 602490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've always planned to have more than one, but given the trouble it took us to get to just this baby, it might not be so easy. That being said, at only 17 weeks pregnant, we're already getting "Make sure you buy gender-neutral gear to save for the next ones." Whoa...slow down! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-601396 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:02:31 +0000 lomom 601396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only want one but haven't vocalized that at this point to anyone other than DH. I realize we may change our minds, I'm very young (22) and LO was planned with the thought of just one in mind. If we had a second, it'd be after LO went to kindergarten and that's what I tell people who ask, with a dontcha know how expensive daycare is sort of joke. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-601135 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 14:23:29 +0000 Boogs 601135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I tell people I would be fine with just my 1 LO I get the same type of harassment. It's not fair to my LO, I just need to hurry up and do it, etc. My FIL recently told me, "You need to hurry up and finish having kids so you can go back to work." DH didn't think he was being rude... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-600994 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 13:59:27 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 600994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think people don't know what to say and that's just the easiest question....</p> <p>We're stopping at one. But D has a cousin his age that he'll see all the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-600891 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 13:43:34 +0000 mrsmate 600891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think there's anything wrong w only children, the ones I met are nice or jerks in the same rate as everyone else. The only thing is only children have to bear the burden of aging parents by themselves, which I wouldn't want to put my DD through. So we hope to have 2-4. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-600589 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:53:46 +0000 mediagirl 600589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: I''m so happy to report that I haven't had that many comments over the fact that we're only having one. If someone does mention it and gives us a hard time, I ask if they would like to pay for our next child's education. But then again, I'm kind of b*tchy like that. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-600583 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:51:57 +0000 pelikila 600583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was told in the hospital that I'd "change my mind" when it came to having a second child. I've been told my co-workers, random people, family members, etc. and we are still good with just one. I think people just love babies and don't necessarily think about WHY someone might only want one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-600576 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:49:45 +0000 immabeetoo 600576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a lot of it in my experience is simply that people love babies and want more of them from those they love!! I wish my brother would have more, not bc I think my niece will suffer, but because I love being an aunt and want more nieces or nephews! My mom was the same way when I said we were only having one bio baby. Still I try to be thoughtful about asking or telling anyone anything about family planning. I figure you never know if they're struggling with infertility etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-600566 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:47:53 +0000 babynumber1 600566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so guilty of this. My mom was an only child and hates it. We have such a small family tree on that side. No aunts or uncles at all. She has instilled in us that it is a disservice to the child to have only one, due to her experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-600558 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:46:17 +0000 Boheme 600558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And maybe I am just offended FOR her because DH is an only child and I think he's pretty awesome :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-600551 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:45:49 +0000 Boheme 600551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookworm: I have had so many significant problems with my pregnancy we are considering having only one also. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-600462 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:33:47 +0000 jetsa 600462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love my siblings its a bond that only a sibling can know but I think I'm lucky because everyone doesn't feel that way. On the other hand my husband loved/loves being an only child.<br /> I'm pregnant now and truthfully we have no idea how many children we are going to have he wants 1, I want 2 so we'll see. I'm not looking forward to this question because we have no idea what we'll do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-600430 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:28:58 +0000 Bookish 600430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm still pregnant, and I just got my firs "when you have your next one..." comment! I don't get it! As far as we know, we are having ONE, and I don't understand why people think it is any of their business! I know several only children that turned out to be successful, well-adjusted adults... and frankly, having siblings wasn't the greatest experience I had growing up! Grr, it's frustrating! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-600390 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:21:44 +0000 Happygal 600390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there's two things going on. First, many people still have the misconception that a single child is a spoiled, lonely child. Second, I think many people are grateful for having siblings, so they feel what was good for them is good for everybody. I can hear people saying, "I would be so sad if I didn't have my siblings," and therefore imagine that every single child is sad. </p> <p>I also heard someone say she was thinking of having just two kids, but then she worried about what would happen if one died. That remaining child would then have no siblings, so she thinks maybe she should now have three. That shows just how much importance some people place on having siblings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/why-the-bias#post-600360 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:13:01 +0000 Boheme 600360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've noticed since I've been pregnant, people ask us when we'll have another baby or how many we want total. I've also noticed that friends who have chosen to have only one child, or can't have another, get a lot of comments. One of my friends can't have any more children but she doesn't want to broadcast it, so when people ask her she just says "Oh, we'll see." or "Oh, I think we're good with just one." and people always start in on her telling her she's selfish, or that she'll change her mind. She says its rare that people just accept her answer that they're having one child and leave the subject alone. </p> <p>If you have an only child, have you experienced this? How did you handle it? </p>