https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 04 Aug 2026 20:59:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2023406 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 12:01:36 +0000 sotofamilia 2023406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: is he in a crib? We went through this recently with our 23-month old, and eventually he started climbing out of his crib, so we had to transition him to the toddler bed (converted crib). It has surprisingly really helped with these types of issues - I think maybe he just hated waking up and feeling confined? I don't know. </p> <p>It's funny though...we also sleep-trained when he was little, and it was such a waste looking back! If I had known that sleep was just going to be a series of sleeping fine and then regressions, I would have saved us both the heartbreak. I won't be sleep training future babies. </p> <p>Good luck! I know it is so SO difficult when they don't sleep! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2023340 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 11:20:12 +0000 Pumuckl 2023340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: your situation sounds like what we went through for the last couple of months. What worked for us was lots of patience with him and time. We'd go to his room and let him hug us as much as he wanted but he was not allowed out of his crib. We'd also keep the lights off. And then we asked him not to scream at us because we were right there and what more could he want (surprisingly that actually worked). Then it was a very long process of getting him to lay down. Usually what helped was to tell him that we'd tell him his bedtime story/sing his song when he'd lay down. Mostly that worked. Once we had made it this far it was just waiting for him to fall asleep. All throughout we kept our voices soft and were very understanding but kept firm about him not getting out of bed. The whole ordeal sometimes lasted 3h... But after a week he finally stopped waking because he knew he wasn't going to get what he wanted (which was coming to bed with us). Now when he wakes after 6 am he gets to come to our bed for cuddles. </p> <p>Sorry for the novel and I really hope it'll get better soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2023095 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 08:56:22 +0000 penguin917 2023095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started co-sleeping with my son at 19 months. I had been sleep training with him pretty much non-stop since 6 months. We were travelling for Thanksgiving and he didn't want to sleep in the pack and play, so to bed with us he came. We realized he just needed to be close. It's not perfect, but so much better than what it had been (waking and crying every 2-4 hours all night and wanting to nurse back to sleep). He STTN in his crib (on his own) maybe 4 times. He's now 21 months and wants me either in the room or in the doorway as he falls asleep. I'm still nursing, so if he wakes after 10 (usually 11), we do a quick nursing session then into bed with me til morning (usually 7). If it's before 10 I just shh him back to sleep in his crib while standing in the doorway. He still wakes in the MOTN after I bring him to bed, but will quickly fall back to sleep rather than screaming and being awake for hours in his crib. CIO just didn't work and I don't have it in me to try again anytime soon. Maybe when he's closer to 3 we'll try to get him back in his bed and transition to a toddler bed. For now, this works and I'm finally getting some "decent" sleep! When we started co-sleeping, he would wiggle and kick and even laugh or want to play. If that happened, I would put him back in his crib for a few minutes and leave then come get him and ask if he wanted to sleep with mommy. He would calm down and I think he realized he had to be still if he wanted to sleep with us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2023068 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 08:22:10 +0000 mrs. wagon 2023068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Looking at my response... I should probably write a blog post about this. Ugh!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2023067 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 08:21:52 +0000 mrs. wagon 2023067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: @travellingbee: We never sleep trained LMW as a baby, she started STTN on her own at 8 months, but we have gone through I think 6 sleep regressions that last between 2-6 weeks each. We've been through the CIO vomiting, nosebleeds, and standing in her crib all night long. Literally she stood for 6 hours. So I definitely know how you feel. We get to wit's end every single time. She is 2.5 years old now (30 months) and has just recovered from her last regression, which was illness related, I think. If I had my way she'd just come into bed with us, but Wagon Sr. stuck to his guns and I'm glad he did. Here's what we had to do to minimize crying (in order to avoid nosebleeds and vomiting):</p> <p>At its worst, she'd cry all through bedtime and not want us to leave. We'd get as far away as she'd let us, usually the glider in her room, and sit there until she was in deep sleep, then sneak out. But even this convincing sometimes involved yelling at her to stop crying and threatening to leave the room. Nothing else seems to work with her.. not even hugging her and basically laying in her bed with her (she's in a crib converted to a toddler bed). </p> <p>Then as things got better, we would sit by her door, on the floor, instead of the glider, until she fell asleep. A few days of that and we'd sit in her doorway. A few days of that and we'd sit outside her door. Inevitably she'd sit up and look for us and start crying but we'd poke our head in and shush her right away. Sometimes on bad days she'd beg for us to sit in the chair instead. But we didn't want to go backwards. Most bedtimes were battles and we put a king size pillow on the floor outside her door so whoever was doing her bedtime could sit or lay on the floor, and we'd watch her on the video monitor and surf the internet on our smartphone. Eventually she'd stop checking on us one night and then we'd start SAYING we were outside the door but we'd actually leave and run back up if she started crying. </p> <p>The worst, worst worst thing about this is that she'd still wake up every 1-2 hours all night long and we'd have to do whatever we did at bedtime all over again. </p> <p>The only good thing about all this is that every regression has ended eventually. </p> <p>Towards the end of regressions we'd take her to our bed with any wakeups past 4 or 5am. </p> <p>Good luck :T it is just awful, awful awful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2023055 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 08:02:07 +0000 skipra 2023055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: I mean, I guess we kind of worked on it but it was seriously baby steps until one day it was just like a light switch. I think the biggest thing has been his naps actually. Once I was able to get him to go to sleep on his own for naps (he skipped several because of it), nighttime was much easier. And we need to make sure he doesn't nap too much or too late because then he won't fall asleep at night for at least an hour and then wakes up motn. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2023030 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 07:27:45 +0000 travellingbee 2023030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: really?! He just started doing it one day?<br /> ETA:That gives me a lot of hope! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2023028 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 07:24:33 +0000 skipra 2023028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So dh and i couldn't deal with sleep training ever and as a result ds slept with us from his first wake up and it was miserable. Somehow he now goes to bed by himself and sleeps in his bed all night. He is 28 months now and things have really improved in the last few months. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2023020 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 07:03:38 +0000 travellingbee 2023020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: Ha then he woke an hour later screaming... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022993 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 03:50:52 +0000 littleblessings 2022993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dd is 2.5 yo and we are going through this. I literally feel like shipping her off to grandmas. /: I've tried our normal routine, no tv, no toys, a story time, songs, everything! I'm at a loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022921 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 23:02:21 +0000 Freckles 2022921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: 1 hour is progress! It will get better each day, just be consistent and you'll get there. :goodluck: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022882 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 22:01:49 +0000 travellingbee 2022882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: oh I see. We'll keep trying things I guess. I definitely think that's key though. The falling asleep on his own... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022880 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 22:00:14 +0000 travellingbee 2022880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: :( yes, he's done the vomiting before too. Horrible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022875 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 21:57:10 +0000 travellingbee 2022875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Definitely sounds like I'm not alone! Which does make me feel better. I never wanted a co-sleeping situation so I don't know how I ended up here. Sigh. Tonight we moved further away from him until we were sitting in the hall outside his room with the door open and he did fall asleep. After an hour. :bummed: Well, some progress maybe... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022869 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 21:45:04 +0000 yoursilverlining 2022869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have my sympathy!! LO is 2.5 and will not fall asleep unless we (mostly, me) is beside her. And she still sleeps in our bed. When I suggest she try her own bed, which is right next to our bed (!!) she breaks down sobbing :( we don't have it in us to try CIO, and when we have briefly she screams and sobs until she makes herself sick, so that doesn't work either. At least she STTN, but I'm generally too tired by the time I put get her asleep to have any night of my own. Blerg, you have my sympathy...at least you are not alone? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022835 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 21:23:14 +0000 Freckles 2022835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: this time around i didn't wait before going to her room. No CIO here. As soon as she started crying I went in right away, gave her a hug and kiss, and told her she had to go to bed by herself. In the beginning I told her I would be right outside her room. She had to understand that we weren't leaving the house, that we were still in the house and that we would get her as soon as she needed us. I'm sure you'll find a strategy that works for you...just make sure you stick with it for at least a few days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022745 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 19:36:14 +0000 travellingbee 2022745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NovBaby1112: thank you. That makes me feel better.<br /> @Kemma: yeah we have tried that before without too much success, but we may try it again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022654 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 17:55:49 +0000 NovBaby1112 2022654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Take my advice with a grain of salt bc I lay next to my 2yr old to get her to go to sleep and she comes into our bed at night most nights too. I used to stress about it and tried to train her once or twice to sleep on her own, but I just didnt have the heart to hear her scream and cry for hours. I work FT so I just started embracing the time together and its sort of a nice break for me to close my eyes and rest with her. Don't get me wrong, some nights when it's taking 45+ minutes for her to fall asleep I get impatient, but those times are few and far between. I've also just gotten used to her sleeping with us in the MOTN when she wakes up, when before I couldn't sleep next to her. I'm sure when we eventually have another baby things will have to change, but I'm hoping when she's a bit older I can explain things to her more clearly. Even now some nights I'll just lay with her for a bit and then tell her "mommy will be back in10 minutes" and she will go to sleep on her own, which I never thought would be possible. We even have weeks where she won't wake upset night and come to bed with us, by nothing we did to change it. I really think it's si common for toddlers ti go through this and it's a common phase </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022648 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 17:53:00 +0000 Kemma 2022648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: can you do the gradual retreat thing? You could start by sitting on a chair next to the bed and gradually shifting your chair a bit closer to the door every few days. You could also try the whole "I'm just going to empty the dishwasher, I'll be back in five minutes" thing.<br /> My other thought would be to make a small floor bed in your room so LO can sleep in the room without being in your bed.</p> <p>And for what it's worth, I really believe there are some kids that will just not respond to CIO... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022625 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 17:39:25 +0000 travellingbee 2022625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: That's essentially what we did when he was 9 months old and it worked but it was bad. He gets so panicked! Hmmm... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022558 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 16:59:13 +0000 Mamasig 2022558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No real advice because DS is similar. Except he just sleeps with us from the start and has been for a while. I'm too lazy to go back and forth when he wakes up - I'd rather just get a full nights sleep. Yes he wakes me up sometimes but at least I don't have to get out of bed. I figure he'll outgrow at some point. When? I don't know! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022550 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 16:53:43 +0000 Cherrybee 2022550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: I've got no advice because my kid is a terrible sleeper but I'm sending love and sympathy. E is a CIO-vomiter. It sucks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022546 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 16:49:31 +0000 Freckles 2022546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have my sympathy! I went through this too around the 2 year mark. We couldn't leave the room until she fell asleep, which meant us staying in the room for an hour! Then she started waking up every hour from 1-6am until we finally brought her into bed with us.</p> <p>We finally decided she had to learn to fall sleep on her own without us there, otherwise she will wake up wanting us there (which seems like what you are going through right now). It took about 1 week, but we had a strict bedtime schedule and then before leaving the room told her that we loved her and will be there...that we will come back if she needs us, but that she had to go to bed by herself. If she started crying we would always come back, reassure her and then leave again. It was a different sort of training from when we did CIO with her as an infant, but as soon as she learned to fall asleep without us, she stopped waking up in the MOTN.</p> <p>Btw, my kid is really stubborn, very clingy and has major separation anxiety so I know what you are going through! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022544 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 16:49:24 +0000 Tidybee 2022544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: oh I hear ya. DD is saying "help me." I feel like the worst mother ever. A felow HBer reassured me that they won't remember this time of their lives so I'm trying to repeat that to myself. I'm not going to sleep with her, but if she falls asleep with me in her bed, she wakes up an hour later and is frantic about where I am. I can' do that all night long. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022541 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 16:46:10 +0000 travellingbee 2022541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tidybee: Man, I'd do it if it was 90 minutes. One time he screamed for 4 hours. He fell asleep sitting up and woke up half hour later and cried again for an hour. I just don't think I have it in me again. And now he talks. So he screams for me and Daddy. It is horrible. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022535 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 16:43:39 +0000 Tidybee 2022535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: ugh - sicknesses throw such a wrench into sleep issues. DD has hit literally every regression ever mentioned in the parenting books and the only thinkg that has ever worked was CIO. And by CIO, I mean throwing herself around the crib, stomping, screaming for 90 minutes. It's hell. But it worked. I'm currently going through this right now because we transitioned her to a big girl bed and she is not staying in it unless we lay with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-this-ever-just-resolve-on-its-own-please-help#post-2022529 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 16:39:44 +0000 travellingbee 2022529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know if we should just try to ride this out and he will eventually grow out of it on his own, or if this is just a snowballing situation that won't ever get resolved unless we re-train him. Which I loathe the idea of doing...</p> <p>The situation: LO is 22 months. Every night, he won't go to sleep unless we are in his room with him (usually demands both of us) until he falls asleep. Then sometime between 12 and 2 he wakes up and screams until we go get him and bring him in bed with us. He won't lay back down. He won't give in- he has literally sobbed for hours before when we tried to re-sleep train. </p> <p>The background: We sleep trained at 9 months and it was horrific. Like I can't believe no one called the cops on us in our neighborhood with the amount of screaming during that time. He is a super super stubborn child. (He literally cried all day long for two weeks when he started day care. The teacher said it was the first time she'd seen that.) But eventually it did work and he started STTN and going down without a fight. 5 months later he got a bad case of croup and it all went to s#*t. Since then, he's been a terrible sleeper. I hate getting up in the middle of deep sleep to go get him. I don't sleep great with him kicking me and turning sideways in the bed.... ugh. I just hate the idea of trying to sleep train him again. </p> <p>Any ideas? Is there any possibility he will just grow out of this? I mean, I assume he won't be wanting to sleep with us when he's a teenager, LOL. :silly: </p>