Hellobee Boards Topic: Will you be as strict as your parents were?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Will you be as strict as your parents were? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 22:37:10 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157497 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 18:00:42 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2157497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I will be more strict. My parents didn't have a lot of rules and they didn't carry out their own punishments. I'm much more into order and routine, but I lack patience. My kids will have rules and discipline for them will fit my attention span. Synchronicity on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157392 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 15:33:26 +0000 Synchronicity 2157392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The same as my parents, but less controlling than DH's. I want to have a stable environment with boundaries and expectations, without needing to micromanage my kids. artsyfartsy on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157369 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 15:06:45 +0000 artsyfartsy 2157369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My dad had a specific strict list of rules and boundaries, but gave me ultimate freedom within those boundaries. It worked really well and I want to do things similarly with my kids. I could go to parties and hang out with friends and never feel like I had to be deceptive with my dad. As long as I made curfew and he knew where I was 24/7, I was basically allowed to do whatever I wanted. So I happily kept him updated and was always honest with everything I was doing. Cherrybee on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157345 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 14:24:24 +0000 Cherrybee 2157345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ About the same with most things, but more strict about academic effort. Mae on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157329 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 14:01:48 +0000 Mae 2157329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ About the same on most things. I have a hard time classifying my parents as strict or not strict because I wasn't really the type of child to misbehave... but thinking about it I think that is probably because I never really felt like they made dumb rules. Everything was always explained and open to discussion. I don't ever remember them telling me I couldn't do something that I thought I should be able to do. Plus my mom had this philosophy when I was in high school (which she did not share until I was out of high school)-- basically say yes to anything I asked to do. If it was some dumb thing with a group of people, she assume someone else's parents would put the kibosh on it, or we'd not get it together to do whatever thing it was anyways. Never back fired on her haha. The only thing I think we'll be a bit stricter on is food. I was (still am) a super picky eater and they just let me eat whatever I wanted. I got a separate dinner every single night and ate mostly crap. Shockingly (not) I've also struggled with weight my whole life. I am trying really hard to feed LO healthy and when she's older we won't have crap food options in the house for her, nor will I be a short order cook. I'm not going to micromanage what she eats out of this house because I don't want it to be a huge control thing, but I'm also not going to buy a bunch of pop at the store if she whines for it just because her friends have it at their house. macintosh on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157227 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 10:40:22 +0000 macintosh 2157227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think my parents had a good balance with their parenting style when I was younger, but I'd like to provide more structure during the teen years than I had. My parents were busy working full time and they didn't really have any rules about boyfriends, curfews, etc. I feel like more structure during those years may have prevented me from going a little overboard when I went to college. It didn't help that my parents divorced in my teen years. I think I will be less strict in some ways and more strict in other ways. Finfan on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157169 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 09:01:31 +0000 Finfan 2157169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom was a great parent so I hope to follow in her footsteps. We were raised by her with really clear expectations and I think that's so important. She was not strict about assigning us chores, etc. so much as wanting us to do well in school and have strong friendships. changingtides on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157157 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 08:38:19 +0000 changingtides 2157157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Depends on the issue for me as well, but I'd say generally less strict than my mom. Probably similar to my dad on a lot of things. Mama Bird on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157155 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 08:34:34 +0000 Mama Bird 2157155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Stricter than mine, they didn't parent a whole lot and one of us kids got away with making the entire family's life hell - the only time there were any consequences is when it involved grades. I had to be the family's policewoman, because no one else was doing it. Hopefully I'll be just as strict as my MIL, I think she did a great job raising DH :happy: blackbird on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157148 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 08:26:41 +0000 blackbird 2157148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Less than mine. Mine were super strict and my father was very controlling. He ruled with a belt. It had a very negative effect on my brother. Some kids do well with a stricter household and some don't, so we'll see. I don't think being less strict means I let them do whatever they want, though! I do think it means more age appropriate freedoms, though. Ms. RV on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157146 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 08:23:20 +0000 Ms. RV 2157146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom was was just the right amount of strict. Her punishments for when we rebelled were a little out of line, so I think I'll be less severe with my punishments but just as strict. 78h2o on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157145 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 08:20:44 +0000 78h2o 2157145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think about the same? I think my punishments will be different though. Mrs. Lion on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157127 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 07:25:35 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2157127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Less strict than mine (although they were more controlling than strict...) and more strict than DH's (he is lucky to be alive haha). Hopefully we will balance each other out. buttermilk on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157119 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 06:56:07 +0000 buttermilk 2157119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Less strict for sure, I want to be able to trust my kids and give them a bit more freedom than I had. But mostly what I would change is how my mom approached it. Her response every time I asked "Why?" Was "Because I said so!!" It was very much, I'm the parent and you're the kid and I don't have to explain anything to you. But I want to be more open with my kids and have a conversation about why we are making the decisions we are. namaste on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157115 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 06:40:55 +0000 namaste 2157115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Less for sure. Neither of our parents probably should have been parents. There were a lot of unnecessary rules that would easily promote unhealthy relationships with others. I'm very surprised DH and I turned out normal. The same could not be said for our siblings. BananaPancakes on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157113 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 06:31:46 +0000 BananaPancakes 2157113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @lamariniere: Very similar situation here. I'll be more strict, just because it's my personality and I have higher expectations for DS than my parents had for us. I think the world is a lot different now than when I was being raised. They were very relaxed and there were very few rules, which ended up working for them because none of their 5 kids are aimless, but I always wish they had pushed me more. I think it's lovely that they're both very "we just want you to be happy," but I think expecting a little more from all of us wouldn't have hurt. wrkbrk on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157110 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 06:09:00 +0000 wrkbrk 2157110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Probably less. In the sense that my parents never let me be independent - in fact they (I assume unintentionally) kept me and my siblings dependent on them for far longer than was necessary (think: college!). I hope to instill in our little one a sense of adventure and independence so he knows there is nothing he can't at least try to do!! Andrea on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157103 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 04:56:14 +0000 Andrea 2157103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It depends on the issue. More strict on some things, less strict on other things. Dandelion on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157099 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 02:59:10 +0000 Dandelion 2157099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Less strict than my parents and more than DH's parents. sarac on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157094 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 01:05:03 +0000 sarac 2157094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Much, much more strict. To be honest, my parents barely parented. Due to their own personal issues, they were really not cut out to parent, and I really suffered for it. They were unable to set limits, unable to use positive discipline (or any method of discipline other than guilt and shame), unable to really act like adults. They both leaned on me to meet their emotional needs, which was really damaging. So I'm way more strict, in that the rules and expectations are clear, and that I use positive, gentle discipline whenever called for. There is no shame in our house, just well defined expectations that get met, one way or another. My daughter knows who's the kid, and who's the adult, and she will never have to worry about her parents not being able to step up and act like adults. She's already so much more confidant, and happy, and secure than I ever was - it breaks my heart a little. That being said, I'm no tiger mom. Just about as far from it as you can be. Scholastic achievement is not a requirement in our family. cookiemomster on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157092 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 00:46:11 +0000 cookiemomster 2157092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm hoping to be more strict in the sense that I want my husband and I to be more consistent with discipline and rules than mine were, but I also hope that the things that set my mom off when I was growing up won't be a big deal for us- what would upset my mom never made sense so it was always hard to know what the rules were. It's kind of hard to explain. Mainly I want to provide a more structured and stable environment I guess. lamariniere on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157088 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 00:25:18 +0000 lamariniere 2157088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm more strict than parents, who were extremely lax about just about everything (unlimited TV, eat whatever you want, no real household rules). However, there were expectations to do well in school and neither my brother nor I were very rebellious at all, so it worked. Where I grew up, there were only two high schools, the public one and the catholic one, so there wasn't a ton of pressure on that level like in bigger cities. Torchwood on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157084 Sat, 25 Apr 2015 23:57:30 +0000 Torchwood 2157084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Definitely less. My mom was a control freak (still is), and micromanaged a lot of things that didn't make sense. Plus, I'm an atheist, not a fundamentalist, so I don't have to worry about my kids going to hell if I let them listen to rock music or something random like that. Mrs. Bee on "Will you be as strict as your parents were?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-as-strict-as-your-parents-were#post-2157083 Sat, 25 Apr 2015 23:45:48 +0000 Mrs. Bee 2157083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was talking to a good friend of mine, and she wants her kids to go to the best high school in New York. She is tiger moming it up right now! I actually don't want my kids to go to the best school, especially because it lacks diversity. I think I'm going to be way less strict than my parents were. I already am - they never let me sleep over and both my kids already have! Of course I want them to do well in school, but I don't want them to be rebellious like I was! Will you be more/less strict than your parents were?