https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 03:30:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2385232 Fri, 11 Dec 2015 06:58:37 +0000 travellingbee 2385232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not be OK with it. (But at 18, they are adults, so I'm not sure I could tell them what to do!) A higher education is about learning how to expand ones mind and deal with all kinds of people, and think for oneself. To me it is critical to becoming a well rounded adult in this day. I want that for my boys. I would be highly disappointed if they chose not to. But I think it's unlikely they wouldn't. My generation was the first in my family to have access to college and both my brother and I have advanced degrees. Our spouses too. And I'm a teacher so education is super important to us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2385219 Fri, 11 Dec 2015 06:37:23 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2385219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will be paying for it fully so if they didn't take advtange of that opportunity we would be disappointed. College or university is fine (we're in Canada, there is a difference) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2385171 Fri, 11 Dec 2015 01:33:55 +0000 lov2teach 2385171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We sure hope so...but things don't always go the way we planned. I finished high school and enrolled at my local community college. Went to nursing school and decided it was not for me. Then I got married, had a baby and when she was 2 years old I finally started classes again. Six years later I graduated with my Master's in Elementary Education. I honestly believe it worked better for me this way. I was more mature and really knew what I wanted to do with my life. It's the best career for me! My husband, on the other hand, joined the Marine Corps right after high school. He would have done terrible if he went to college as he was too busy partying. He eventually went back to school and now has his bachelor's degree. :) Win-win! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2385070 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 22:37:41 +0000 Purpledaisy 2385070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. Honestly, 18 is so young. I think that there's nothing wrong with taking time to decide what you want to do. I think that it is also young to demand that they have a plan. Just work for awhile and think about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384894 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 20:49:00 +0000 LilSprinkles 2384894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, college is a must! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384507 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 15:44:58 +0000 LovelyPlum 2384507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: yes, I think this is true. Getting at least a bachelor's degree is more and more the expectation, and in many fields, a Master's is needed for advancement. My mother, who has worked as a nurse and nursing instructor for 30+ years, always regretted not going back for her Master's degree. There were several points in her career that it prohibited advancement, and by that time, it would have been too difficult to do with 5 kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384501 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 15:42:17 +0000 LovelyPlum 2384501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would I be OK if they decide to not attend a traditional 4 year institution? I would be a little sad, but yes.</p> <p>However, DH and I have agreed that some sort of post-secondary education is non-negotiable over here. It can be 2 year, vo-tech, the military, whatever. But with a Master's degree being required for more and more career advancement, I think that insisting upon some sort of further schooling is very important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384475 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 15:25:25 +0000 Ra 2384475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I would be okay with it. We will encourage him to go but ultimately it is his life and his choice. My brother chose to forgo college and became a career firefighter. He loves his job and makes SIGNIFICANTLY more than I did as a teacher with none of the loans that I am still drowning in. I am happy with my choice to get a degree but I don't think he made the wrong or irresponsible choice to go right into a career. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384453 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 15:12:47 +0000 Bubbles 2384453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: I feel like it's this way in the UK too, although of course there are many industries where it's essential.<br /> Although I think it's a great experience and I had a lot of fun, I wont be at all disappointed if my LO doesn't go to uni, and I won't put any pressure on him to go. I will expect him to learn how to be financially self sufficient and to be motivated, but by that age I think he will be old enough to decide on his own path in life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384403 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 14:41:31 +0000 lemondrop 2384403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I fully expect some kind of education after high school. It's not a parenting deal breaker for me, I'd still love them, but I would be extremely disappointed. We were both raised with the expectation of some sort of education, it was just where our trajectory took us. </p> <p>Being that we will be paying for their first four years of education, I'd hope they would at least give it a try. I don't expect perfect grades or a prestigious program, I was a crappy student, but I had a great time in college and it has definitely helped me land the career I am in now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384362 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 14:14:20 +0000 Lilbear 2384362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly no, I wouldn't be okay with it. Not only does a degree give them more career options, but I also want them to experience college life. I have had so many wonderful experiences, and I have made several lifelong friends through my college experience. </p> <p>Also, my DH is going back to finish his degree now at 35 years old, because he felt so limited in what jobs he qualified for. He also is super intelligent and it always bothered him (and surprises anyone that knows him) that he never finished. I am super proud of him for going back to school, and he is doing awesome (maintaining a 4.0 gpa woot woot!), but living on just my income has not been easy, and it has put some of our life plans (child spacing, buying a home etc) on hold. I don't want our LOs to ever feel that way or be in that position. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384293 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 13:32:24 +0000 sunny 2384293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there's a lot of value in spending a few years of young adulthood in a college environment, so I think there would have to be some really extenuating circumstances to make me "ok" with them not going to college. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384292 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 13:29:48 +0000 yoursilverlining 2384292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I would not be ok with my LO not going to college. It's an expectation in both of our families.</p> <p>What I do and would *not* support though are the private for-profit degree mill "colleges" where you end up with a ton of debt for a degree that is a glorified job certificate program, job-training and/or a degree for a career you don't need a degree in. Vocational schools are fine, job training is fine - but those are different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384241 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:53:10 +0000 MoreCoffee 2384241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents expected me to go to college and they generously paid for it. For various reasons, I dropped out. After some tough years in my early 20s, I'm fortunate to have a good career in a setting where everyone else has a degree. And I don't have student loan debt (just eternal indebtedness to my parents). I suffer no delusions about my lack of degree - if I wanted to SAH then rejoin the workforce or look for a job outside my current company, it would be very difficult. Sometimes I feel trapped by that, and I have a lot of regrets. </p> <p>All of this to say - I'm torn as to what I'll expect of my own children. I hope they'll want to take advantage of the educational opportunity DH and I are willing to provide. If they prefer to do something else I know we'll expect them to support themselves. It's just so hard to determine the difference between someone who is truly not cut out for college and would thrive without it vs. someone who needs the right fit, more maturity, more discipline, etc. in order to make it work. I suspect the vast, vast majority of people fall into the latter category (I know I did). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384226 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:46:01 +0000 Ginabean3 2384226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, it is expected that they go to college. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384221 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:42:51 +0000 edelweiss 2384221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i would really struggle if either of my children do not want to go to college. i'd have to see what the circumstances were, but i know i would try and convince them to try it for at least a year. as others have said, i think it can be such an enriching experience beyond the academics/job skills. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384220 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:42:44 +0000 gingerbebe 2384220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel like everyone has to go to college, but it seems increasingly like having a BA/BS is akin to having a high school diploma or GED these days - i.e. its hard to get any kind of job without one and it sends a signal to a would-be employer that you have the ability to stick to something long enough to finish a program.</p> <p>Ultimately, I want my kids to have the skills and abilities to not be homeless and to be responsible, capable human beings. If they can accomplish that without college and have a good idea of what they want to do, then that's fine with me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384218 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:41:14 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 2384218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It this point no. I see college as an extension of all other schooling. I expect my kid to graduate from high school and I extend that same expectation to college.<br /> However, I realize circumstances change so I intend to be flexible depending on how life pans out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384213 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:38:14 +0000 Mrs D 2384213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes - I firmly believe that college is not the right path for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384212 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:34:31 +0000 brownepiano 2384212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depending on how the economy and jobs change I think I'd actually encourage technical school or getting some job experience first. I've known too many people who get a 4 year degree and then decide that isn't where they want to work and go back for another degree. The degree is much more meaningful if you actually need it and know you need it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384206 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:31:36 +0000 hony bologna 2384206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, college would be an absolute must for us, though I'm sure we'd be open to a gap year or some other well thought-out delay. My parents also immigrated here so we could have access to better educations and better lives. Everyone I know went to college and many have advanced degrees, so it would almost be inconceivable to not go to college. This was the case for me, and it wasn't like I felt any sort of pressure to go since it was the norm. It was like going to high school - there was no question about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384182 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:17:12 +0000 Kemma 2384182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in New Zealand and we have a big problem with kids going to university to do degrees that don't actually qualify them to do anything (or increase their employability) and leaving them with huge student loans that don't result in any return on investment. I would rather my kids go and work for a year or so to get a feel for where their passions lie rather than going to uni just as a matter of course. We also have a serious shortage of tradespeople in NZ so I really believe in the value of apprenticeship or distance / adult learning. University isn't a good fit for everybody and I'm ok with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384172 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:09:47 +0000 MrsKoala 2384172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He'd have to have a really good reason since I work at a college. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college/page/2#post-2384154 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 11:58:05 +0000 skipra 2384154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess it depends what they are doing instead of college. If they are doing trade school or working at something that they are able to support themselves then that's one thing and I would try to be ok with it. If they are just hanging out, mooching off us or their friends, then that is a different story! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college#post-2384145 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 11:51:55 +0000 Autumnmama79 2384145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, no, I wouldn't be okay with it. We will be paying for our child(rens) university degree(s) and expect them use that opportunity! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college#post-2384143 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 11:51:14 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2384143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be OK with it as long as they had a plan set up to work full-time and support themselves and then I saw them following through on that plan.</p> <p>My brother never went to college and I have watched him be very happy and support himself without problem so I know it can be done.</p> <p>ETA: do I hope they choose to go to college? Definitely! But I also understand that it isn't the right choice for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college#post-2384135 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 11:47:16 +0000 Mamasig 2384135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: same! I will try my hardest to influence them to go and starting at a very young age! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college#post-2384120 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 11:38:56 +0000 dagret 2384120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If by "college" you're talking about forgoing a traditional 4-year degree, I'd be OK with it, but I would expect them to gain some sort of technical training or have a clearly defined career pathway.<br /> With that said, many jobs which did not require a bachelor's degree in years past now do require a 4 year college degree. In my state/region, many construction workers (equipment operators in particular) must have 4 year degrees. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college#post-2384104 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 11:31:17 +0000 winniebee 2384104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want to say I'd be ok with it, but honestly I would be disappointed and would really try to persuade them to go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-be-ok-with-your-lo-not-going-to-college#post-2384099 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 11:26:39 +0000 yin 2384099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in a similar situation. I went to college and got my degree but barely used it. The economy was crap when I graduated, and it took me a year to find a job. The job wasn't great and didn't require my business degree. The pay was less than desirable, and I left as soon as I was pregnant with my first. Luckily my loans were paid off after 2 years. </p> <p>We have a savings account for each kid, and I will give it to them when I feel they are financially responsible. They can use it towards their education, travel, or start up their own business. It's up to them, and I'm not going to demand them to go to college. Many successful people dropped out of college to pursue their goals. There is not one correct path suited everyone. </p>