https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 03:54:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350315 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:58:13 +0000 dagret 1350315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. none of them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350291 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:55:12 +0000 mrsjyw 1350291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have discussed that option with either of our parents. ILs won't want to, but I have no problem doing that as long as they don't need special medical care.</p> <p>As well for my parents, I would more than welcome them into our home in old age! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350285 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:54:11 +0000 autumnlove 1350285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, my FIL will probably live with us in a few years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350262 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:50:24 +0000 StbHisMrs 1350262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is weighing heavily on my mind lately. My parents are/have been going through this with both of their parents. My Dad's parents planned well and had long term care, so both were in a home, my Grandpa passed 3 years ago leaving my Grandma alone. Because of her health issues she is required to have 2 nurses with her around the clock, she has to be in a home. My Mom's Dad didn't plan well, remarried a "gold digger" and lost everything. He stayed at home as long as he could but passed in the hospital. </p> <p>My parents have a plan, my husband's parents are divorced and I'm worried we'll be caring for both sets. His younger brother passed away leaving him the only for both sets. Well his Step Mom has a son but he's in and out of jail, so.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350242 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:45:14 +0000 Bao 1350242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh my, I hope not! I would lose it. lol, I could probably handle my parents but no way DH's. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350159 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:29:25 +0000 mrs. bird 1350159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>only if i've been cremated &amp; mr. bird has elected to keep my ashes in the house would my ILs live with me. i wish them all the best in their retirement, halfway around the world, as soon as possible. </p> <p>i don't think my parents would ever NEED to live with us, but i'd be fine with an in law suite set up if they wanted to. we all get along really well, but like some space. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350132 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:23:09 +0000 LuLu Mom 1350132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not likely, the only situation I can see that happening is if say on of our dads unexpectantly passes and our moms do not want to stay in the large house, I could see one of htem living with us temporarly until they find a smaller house/apartment. </p> <p>Overall I think they will eventually do assistant living or community living by choice, they are very independent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350125 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:20:54 +0000 MrsH 1350125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we've talked about my mom moving in with us or buying a house next door. We have not talked about my in laws. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350122 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:19:47 +0000 Alivoo01 1350122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I have talked about it between us, but haven't talked to our parents about it. DH's parents live with his older brother right now in a HUGE house. But we both agreed we would take in either set of parents if necessary when they got older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350119 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:19:21 +0000 Meridian 1350119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ughm this topic stresses me out!! DH's parents are retired but have no retirement funds. Luckily they have one rental property that is paid off, so they are living off the rent income on that property. I'm sure we'll be expected to take care of them in 10 yrs or so, and I'm dreading it.</p> <p>As for my parents, they are very well off, and have planned well for their retirement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350045 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:02:08 +0000 looch 1350045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really have no idea what they would want. My parents are pretty independent and wouldn't like to live anywhere but their own house, so it's either that or assisted living. No idea what my inlaws would want, if I had to look at their parents, it would also be assisted living. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350039 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:01:12 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1350039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We plan for my mom to live with us. My ILS have two other children each that can figure out their living situation. When it comes to my dad I just don't know. My husband and I discussed that my dad definitely cannot live with us. We wouldn't be married very long if he did; however, my dad doesn't have any money to live on his even now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350038 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:00:56 +0000 meredithNYC 1350038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be more than happy to take in either of our parents, but I would be surprised if it came to that since I'm sure they have planned for other arrangements. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350033 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:00:07 +0000 jhd 1350033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I already know that having my ILs live with us would drive me insane. They are quite difficult now and I can't imagine how old age + any illnesses etc. might compound that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350031 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:58:58 +0000 betsyboop 1350031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh dear, I hope not. My il's havent mentioned anything, and dh has an older brother so hopefully his home will be considered before ours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350029 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:58:26 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 1350029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our moms are friends and joke they are both moving in with us... lol. But really... I'm not sure. I could handle my mom and probably my ILs. Not my dad though. And he is probably the only one that won't have money for a retirement home... we shall see. Being the oldest/only responsible sibling sucks! Hopefully by the time any of this comes up my siblings will have grown up :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1350003 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:52:23 +0000 pui 1350003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not likely. My grandfather lived with my family, but that was because my mom never moved out of the house lol. He died at 82 and he easily could have still lived by himself. DH's grandfather was 90 when he died and he still lived alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1349993 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:50:32 +0000 bpcmarj 1349993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We would love for my Dad to come and live with us someday. We are even thinking of buying a house with an in-law apartment or basement that we can finish off for him. He is older in general and we would love to have him around our kid(s) as much as possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1349977 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:45:47 +0000 Greentea 1349977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are both estranged from our parents! However. It has always been planned that my eldest sister would care for my father as she was given special privileges that have allowed her to do well financially. My mother remarried and has a much younger daughter that inherited millions so she will be in charge of her (I hope!). Dh's father is in jail for life and his mother inherited a home where she lives with his youngest sister.</p> <p>Pretty weird! But hey, I didn't choose it!</p> <p>I have strong family values and under a more normal circumstance (anything short of the extremes we have been through) absolutely I would love it! But my mom didn't live with me since I was 13... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1349970 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:45:07 +0000 yoursilverlining 1349970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL has long term care insurance, which solves a lot of the problem for us/her. I would be more than happy to have her come with us though, depending on how she ages and what her needs are. DH is an only child.</p> <p>My parents would live with us as well, if there was the need. I would hire a day or night nurse before moving parents in, but I would never refuse to care for them or house them, either. We'll see what the future holds!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1349945 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:36:57 +0000 lovehoneybee 1349945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>D and I have talked about it. His grandparents lived in a long-term care facility together, but his grandfather died 6 or 7 years ago. His grandmother was old (she just passed a few weeks ago at 93), and she had to watch most of her friends there pass away. It made us really sad. </p> <p>D asked that when one of his parents die we open our home to the other one. I dunno if they'd take us up on it. And we'll make the offer to my mother as well. Not my dad and stepmom, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1349942 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:35:50 +0000 Dandelion 1349942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Part of our house hunting is looking for a place that has potential of building another small place on it for my in laws to live. They just didn't plan well their whole life and will have nothing to retire on. DH and I know that taking care fo them will be part of our future.</p> <p>My parents will be fine, cause they planned for all of this really well, and I'm pretty sure they'll go into a nursing home or assisted living once they are unable to live on their own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1349929 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:33:09 +0000 skibobrown 1349929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would guess my parents would end up in a fancy assisted living community. That's what my grandparents did, so I think that's the model my parents are working with as well. DH's parents I'm not so sure about. He has a pretty strained relationship with both of his parents (for different reasons), so it's unclear as to what will happen. I strongly feel that we don't owe DH's mom anything, since she basically wasn't involved in raising DH after his parents' divorce and she did not support him financially at key points in time -- like she didn't contribute at all to his college education. DH's dad is a whole different beast. There is pretty much no way we could ever have him live with us, but we might need to sort out some kind of care for him since DH is the only child in his family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1349921 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:31:23 +0000 MamaMoose 1349921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My in laws will never be allowed to live with us because they smoke and refuse to quit. Perhaps my SIL will take them in if they need it? Otherwise I guess a nursing home.</p> <p>I would want my parents to live with me as long as it's feasible. But if they required a great deal of care we would put them in a high end assisted living/nursing facility. My parents have Long Term Care insurance to meet this need. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1349920 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:31:21 +0000 yellowbird 1349920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't even given this any thought. I can't picture my dad ever willingly living with me. Dhs parents, maybe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1349912 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:28:27 +0000 avivoca 1349912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dream of owning either a triplex or a property with three small homes on it so that our parents can live with us if need be. That way, everyone has their own space but we are close by if anything were to go wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1349910 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:28:25 +0000 yin 1349910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Originally my parents were supposed to move in with sister #2. My parents are complicated, and she is the only one who can handle my mother. She also had the space to accommodate them (finished basement with bedroom, office, bar, and full bath. Her husband lost his job, and they had to sell the house and currently in a rental. So now we have no clue who will take them in out of the five daughters. I have a very bad relationship with my mom. </p> <p>I think it's expected for us to take in my in-law's, but that won't happen for at least another 20 years. I can't stand my MIL though... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1349888 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:24:24 +0000 snowjewelz 1349888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sibling - DH's parents are very traditional Chinese, so the "rule" is that the oldest son will take care of them when they're old.</p> <p>My parents had two daughters and I am the oldest, so if they want or need to, they will live with me &amp; my family when they're old. I feel like they won't want to though! We'd probably help them get a low level apartment somewhere more urban so they don't have to drive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/will-you-or-your-spouses-parents-live-with-you-when-they-are-elderly#post-1349860 Wed, 15 Jan 2014 13:17:21 +0000 Anagram 1349860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you discussed this with your parents and inlaws? When they are too old to live alone, where will your parents/inlaws go?</p> <p>-Will they live with you?<br /> -A sibling?<br /> -nursing home?<br /> -fancy assisted living community?</p> <p>Have you talked about it with them or your siblings?</p> <p>I think DH would have either/both of his parents live with us in a second. I would push for a big house or a house with a "mil suite" at that point. </p> <p>I think my own mom would prefer to live alone with maybe a nurse coming during the day. My Granddad is 93 and still lives alone but has a nurse come during the day and my aunt lives next door and he has an alarm to ring her if he needs it. </p>