https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 08 May 2026 19:24:47 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2729447 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 12:53:30 +0000 MarieJ 2729447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was totally disconnected and didn't even think about work at all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2729424 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 12:14:33 +0000 wrkbrk 2729424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@undercovermother: I checked in, but didnt "check up" on anyone if that makes sense? I read my emails daily and responded here and there, not a lot, but some. I dont have a personality that would allow me to totally disconnect for 3 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2729371 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 11:19:09 +0000 Alba4 2729371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a teacher, so I had a leave replacement both times. I was disconnected 100%. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2729356 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 10:53:40 +0000 krispi 2729356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a project manager, not a people manager, but I turned everything over to others while I was on leave. HR didn't want me so much as checking an email. They communicated with me via my personal email to avoid me logging in to my work account.</p> <p>That said, I did log in under the radar and read through my messages about once a month. That was a nice feature of the newborn nap days. :) It also helped when I went back that there weren't mounds of emails to get caught up on.</p> <p>The only real contact I had with my co-workers though was emailing a few baby pictures. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2729034 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 17:33:05 +0000 MrsA 2729034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a manager, and am checking in from time to time. I have a large project under design while I'm out, so I've asked to review the draft reports and big picture stuff related to that project. My boss has been very respectful of my time at home, and is very "whatever you want to be involved on is great". I'm not checking email or doing day to day stuff, and it's a good balance for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728915 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 14:42:01 +0000 Ajsmommy 2728915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Completely disconnected. My files all get transferred out. I'm not so special that someone else can't do my work </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728881 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 13:58:39 +0000 winniebee 2728881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had an out of office message up on my e-mail and told my office they could call me on my cell if absolutely necessary. I didn't check my phone messages or emails at all. My office called me maybe 2-3 times total in 5 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728798 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 12:23:15 +0000 looch 2728798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know the policy is supposed to be 100% disconnected, but no one actually does that. Everyone has a remote token and they just log in and read emails. It's too much of a pain to shut down and then restart a profile. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728750 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 10:58:44 +0000 PawPrints 2728750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>100% disconnected until it was time for planning my transition back to work. Your boss is way overstepping and it's pretty disrespectful to you. I would try to speak to someone else you trust, just so there is a record that this is happening, and then email your boss something along the lines of "I know it's tough to disconnect, but everything is fine here and will be until you return! Hope you're getting to enjoy this special time at home." And don't directly respond to any specific task-related or project-related inquiries at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728749 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 10:58:08 +0000 alphagam84 2728749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally disconnected and never worried/thought about work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728747 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 10:52:58 +0000 ShootingStar 2728747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was pretty disconnected. I work on things that are project based and I wrapped up my projects before I went out on leave. So I had no day to day work to really check in on. I did check my email ever so often for some other stuff, like benefits enrollment. I probably wouldn't think it was too weird if my boss though was on leave and still checking in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728743 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 10:40:42 +0000 Mommy Finger 2728743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my first maternity leave, I checked my email weekly just to keep on top of it and so I could forward things that needed attention. But I didn't really contact anyone. </p> <p>With my second, I hated my job (new one) so I was 100% disconnected. My password expired at some point so I couldn't even check in if I wanted to. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728734 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 10:18:40 +0000 Rocker2014 2728734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was supposed to be 100% disconnected (and the company supported that) but I had a lot invested in my position/company at the time and there were times that I was really honestly dying to know what was going on at work. Maternity leave was oddly difficult for me - I've always been very career focused and a bit of a workaholic and 12 weeks away from that part of myself was a very odd experience. I'm also very social and it was hard staying home a lot with a newborn. I intentionally limited myself to checking emails weekly, and only sent a few, and responded to a few urgent matters by phone. Could it be possible that your boss is feeling a bit like I was, and just wanted to connect? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728722 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 09:57:18 +0000 TapDancer 2728722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's the expectation at my company that you're 100% disconnected. My boss or people on my team took over my responsibilities. If there had been a major project going on, they would have hired a contractor to help cover the workload. It was glorious. I think if I had tried to engage my coworkers would have yelled at me :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728719 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 09:51:03 +0000 danda 2728719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was required to be pretty much 100% disconnected - my boss told me it was a legal issue. I responded to 2-3 quick email questions and chatted with my boss about return to work timing - that was about it over the 4-5 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728703 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 09:37:59 +0000 snowjewelz 2728703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First maternity leave I was pretty tuned out prob b/c I really was too busy/tired/whatever. This time I practically was answering emails at the hospital. A - b/c I went into labor early so didn't tie up loose ends and B - my company is small and there really isn't much back up so I just tried me best to keep an eye on what's going on and help out where I can and C - I just like to clean out my own inbox anyway to avoid more work when I get back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728684 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 09:15:46 +0000 undercovermother 2728684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: I totally agree on the mommy tracking part, which is why I am really trying to be understanding. I think if we were many other places, this wouldn't feel odd to me, but we are so proactive here about making sure that people can really be on leave and everyone is overly reassured, if anything, about their value and job security and supporting work-life balance (and not just in name only), that I want to reassure her that everything is fine and she should unplug, especially on things that she wouldn't even normally have to worry about in the first place. But when another colleague did that, my boss got snippy with her about implying that she wasn't taking her job seriously (this was right before she left on leave), so now I'm extra cautious over what I say. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728679 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 09:07:59 +0000 undercovermother 2728679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: We are definitely not a highly dependent industry. In fact, I'm 100% sure that if my boss's boss knew that she was contacting me while on leave, he'd be contacting her to stop because we place a huge value here on people taking vacation and leave as real, not working unless there's a dire situation (and there's rarely one), and disconnecting regularly during the week as well. Work-life balance is huge here, and from what I know of my boss's history, she actually came to work here in big part because she wanted more work-life balance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728675 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 09:04:06 +0000 elljay 2728675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I completely disconnected. I was working on a team of three at the time with my manager and my direct report, and they absorbed all my responsibilities. If there had been an issue on one of my projects that I hadn't tied up, I would have expected them to reach out, but it would have probably been more annoying for them if I had continued to check in just to try to stay in the loop. </p> <p>I agree with previous posters that it sounds like it might be more about her wanting to feel relevant and in control rather than lacking trust in you. If you've reassured her that everything's getting done in her absence and she's still reaching out, maybe see if there's something you can do to keep her up to speed but stop the check-ins - maybe a brief weekly digest of current project status? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728664 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 08:54:55 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2728664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I first went on leave I checked in a bit. As time went on I did less and relished in not having responsibilities at work. </p> <p>As a manger though I am not surprised she is still making herself somewhat available to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728660 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 08:44:14 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2728660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: that's what I was going to say! I was supposed to have my annual performance review, but had my baby early. I text my boss and asked if she'd come to my house to do it so I didn't have to wait three more months, and she checked with HR and said legally I cannot do any work while I'm out or it could compromise my benefits.<br /> We also had some mandatory online education due by April 1st, I had my baby march 10 and asked my boss if I should do the education online at home and she said I can't even log on to do that! </p> <p>I check my emails 1-2x a week just cause I get like 200 emails a week and don't want a full inbox when I come back, but I haven't been communicating with anyone while I'm out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728658 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 08:41:58 +0000 Banana330 2728658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We get completely deleted from the system while we're on leave and we're never contacted for work things. Generally people bring the baby by the office and see how things are going but nothing like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728657 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 08:41:47 +0000 Mrs. Blue 2728657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my first pregnancy, I was mostly disconnected, but my boss sent me things for some of my cases to review when my temporary replacement had drafted a major document. This time, I'll be lucky if I get two weeks of being partially disconnected before having to jump back in at probably at least half speed. I think it just depends, but honestly, it sounds to me like she's just worried about getting mommy tracked out of her job and wants to make sure she's not completely out of touch with what's going on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728648 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 08:16:44 +0000 Alivoo01 2728648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My understanding is that by law, if you're on leave, you're supposed to be 100% disconnected. That's the purpose of the leave, to focus on your new baby and yourself. Depending on how stringent your company/HR department is, there could be penalties for violating this! Some companies even turn all your access off when you're on leave to prevent you from logging in and jeopardizing their "compliance" with the law (one of my friend's company does this).</p> <p>However, my company is small and private and does not shut off my access. While I was on leave, I did check on emails and respond to anything urgent and kept in touch with town halls so I wasn't completely out of the loop when I returned 3 months later. I didn't work, work though. I tried tying up any loose ends on my part before leave and assigned remaining items with detail instructions on what needed to be done so that they shouldn't need too much assistance on my part. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728647 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 08:16:22 +0000 yoursilverlining 2728647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don’t think anything that you’ve said about her sounds that weird or outside what I would consider to be normal. I checked in some while out on maternity leave (like once a week, once every other week?) and actually ended up transitioning back verrrrrry p/t and WAH early in order to extend my leave another couple of weeks. </p> <p>It’s hard for some people to disconnect (whether on leave or just vacation), and mommy tracking is very real and a valid concern for many professional women. Honestly, I would not feel comfortable 100% disconnecting for 12 weeks and I work in a very friendly and supportive company. You never know what sort of messaging she’s picked up from her own management chain which may also be influencing things, or what expectations she has of herself and/or what fears (valid or unfounded) she has about taking leave. </p> <p>It sounds a little annoying, but I guess if I were you, I would just respond back that yes, you are taking care of X and try to not let it bother me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728644 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 08:13:29 +0000 Madison43 2728644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is so position/industry dependant. I am a lawyer - as supportive as my firm is, it is not feasible for me to completely disconnect from cases that I am ultimately responsible for...the same is true on vacation. And it's even more true now that I supervise other attorneys. I am never completely unplugged. By contrast, my brother works for a large bank - even though he oversees a very large team, when he took paternity leave, he was forced to completely disconnect. Like, I'm pretty sure they reset his passwords so that he couldn't log in even if he wanted to. So I guess it depends for what's normal for your job? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728641 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 08:09:01 +0000 erinbaderin 2728641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm Canadian, so it's a bit different - I took a full year and somebody was hired to fill my position while I was gone. But I emailed my employee only to see how he was doing and to find out what happened with a big file we'd been working on. </p> <p>If I were in your position I would find this really annoying. Would you feel comfortable sending her a message asking if there's a reason she's concerned that basic functions of your job aren't being done? Otherwise I would suggest just sucking it up, replying "of course I am", and waiting it out and seeing how it goes when she comes back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728640 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 08:04:39 +0000 MamaG 2728640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I struggle to disconnect. My team is not highly independent and anyone that fills in during my absence does the absolute minimum to get through the days. I also go a little over the top letting my team know I'm a txt away. And they know I mean it and do txt regularly. I would classify most of my team as more clerical in nature. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/woh-moms-how-connected-were-you-during-leave#post-2728634 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 08:00:26 +0000 undercovermother 2728634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a regular poster here but wanted to post this anonymously just in case :)</p> <p>My immediate supervisor is currently on leave with her 2nd child. We did not work together when she had her first nor when I had my first (aka, I don't have any history of how she's handled leave in the past). </p> <p>In our current positions, she is senior to me, but our functions are different from each other and my job doesn't really depend on hers and vice versa. I took over a few of her responsibilities while she's out, but overall, my day to day job hasn't changed very much at all (and what I took over I was doing to some extent anyway). So I've been really baffled by the fact that my boss is contacting me to "check in." A couple of times the questions were generally how things are going, which I took to just maybe her wanting a distraction, but then other questions were specifically things about whether I'm doing X or Y, all of which are a part of my regular job and the answer can't be no unless I've pretty much stopped doing my job. I've always sensed some trust issues on her end with me, but any attempts I've made to address them have always been written off as misunderstandings and my performance reviews have been nothing short of stellar for years. </p> <p>In my previous position, I managed a department, as my boss does now, and when I went on leave, I was 100% disconnected. I set up my team such that they could do anything that I was doing comfortably, and never once had any concerns about whether they were getting things done. So I'm wondering if it's my previous experience that's coloring this, or if this checking in on her part really is odd or if it's actually normal and I'm bristling for no reason. Would love some other perspectives. </p>