https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 13:37:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1932141 Thu, 06 Nov 2014 10:03:23 +0000 getjazzy 1932141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I make more, but hopefully one day he will make more, when he gets to where he wants to be career wise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1932130 Thu, 06 Nov 2014 09:59:26 +0000 MrsH 1932130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I make more than my DH but I also have more degrees and work in an entirely different field. </p> <p>In my field, I am sure there is still a pay gap between men and women. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1932079 Thu, 06 Nov 2014 09:38:41 +0000 dagret 1932079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I currently make more salary-wise, but he's in sales so he has the potential to make more than me. He might not hit his target this yr but def. will next year. </p> <p>I've made more throughout our entire relationship, but I was 3 yrs into the workforce when he graduated college. My career is fairly established and he has really only found his groove in the past 2 yrs. Last year was the first year he ever made more than I did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1932041 Thu, 06 Nov 2014 09:17:18 +0000 plantains 1932041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I make about 40k more than my DH bug that is because he is a teacher and grossly underpaid. I am on par with the men in my office because we have a salary step system and thee is no negotiating around it. Thank goodness for that too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1931954 Thu, 06 Nov 2014 08:27:56 +0000 MrsSCB 1931954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I make way less than my husband but I'm a journalist and he's a database engineer so.... haha. I actually don't know how much a male in my position would make and whether it's the same because my office is all women except for the very high level people (which kind of makes me go "hmmm...")</p> <p>ETA: I do think that a large part of the pay gap is that women are less likely to negotiate. I know I am :-/ when my DH got his current job, he negotiated his salary $15K higher than they offered. I don't think I could do that. Although he is not making the most he could as a database engineer because he works in a niche that pays less. He loves it and is really passionate about the work so I'm happy, but I know he feels bad sometimes that he could make more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1931919 Thu, 06 Nov 2014 07:45:56 +0000 My Only Sunshine 1931919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I worked full time I made more than my husband. Once I had my daughter I dropped to 30 hours a week and now we make almost exactly the same salary.</p> <p>@Rockies11: I'm also a private practice lawyer and feel the same things you said. It's frustrating to work in a profession that still sometimes feels like a 'good ole' boys' club.' </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1931697 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:13:34 +0000 gingerbebe 1931697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH makes a ton more than I do, but it was by design. </p> <p>We are both attorneys, but I chose a low-paying government position that was super stable, allowed for part-time/reduced hours once we had kids, really cheap/great benefits, and pretty regular hours aside from 2-3 times a year when its SUPER busy, but predictably so. I also got put into a unit where almost everyone is a working parent to young children (mostly moms) so there are a lot of part-timers and we're always covering for the parents who are out because of sick kids. That was tough to deal with when I didn't have a child but now that we have a baby I wont feel bad if I have to call in sick or go to reduced hours. Our bosses also have kids and know who they are managing, so its not Earth shattering to call in sick if your kid is ill.</p> <p>DH started in a government job too while building his private practice. We made it a point to build his business and maximize his earning potential because we wanted to pay off our student loans ASAP and because we wanted me to be able to stay home if I wanted to. We also wanted to build DH's career so that he could have the flexibility to be around a lot more for our kids too. He ultimately left his government gig to be a professor at a college, so he does both right now. He teaches 2-3 days a week from September to May and has summers and winter break off. He runs his practice the rest of the time from home. Hours-wise, he works a lot, but there's a lot of schedule flexibility.</p> <p>I'm currently on a 1-year leave of absence from work (another perk is that they will hold my job for a year) and with an 8 week old, even if DH is super busy working in his office, its SO NICE to have him around 4-5 days a week to hold LO for 10 minutes while I shower or just be supportive while I go through this newborn phase. DH is happy I can be at home with our kiddo while he's super young and not worry about what kind of care he's getting, especially since we have a colicky reflux baby that has been, until recently, a nightmare baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1931323 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 16:47:55 +0000 ChiCalGoBee 1931323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Laughably less than my husband (attorney). We both have graduate degrees, but teaching just isn't lucrative (to say the least!). This was comparing full-time position to full-time position...I'm only part-time now.</p> <p>As soon as I did the math and figured out it would likely cost me more to have our future kid/kids in daycare/with a nanny full time than I make as a teacher, staying home a majority of the time was an easy decision. I also have a small tutoring business and work part-time at a local school, so we'll be able to have a nanny a few hours a week and I'll still come out ahead. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1931243 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 15:54:36 +0000 mauxie 1931243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH makes way more than me.. I have an MA, he only has a BA. We started in our current positions around the same time and while my pay and position has grown, it is definitely not to the magnitude DH's has.. But he is a "go-getter" type and has demanded/negotiated higher pay a few times now.. I now realize I should have negotiated my starting salary with my current employer from the start... but yeah.. sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1931230 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 15:40:26 +0000 mediagirl 1931230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, he's not working now so I make more. He will potentially be making more than me by mid next year. I look forward to that day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1931206 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 15:26:56 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 1931206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I make less than DH. We have degrees in the same field, but he has a PhD and I have a BS. We are both underpaid. Him because he has chosen to put flexibility and job satisfaction over $$ and me because I have no confidence in myself and did not negotiate my current salary. I know my male colleague, who works in the same position, but has less experience and a degree in a different field makes more than I or my other female colleague do. Now that I am here, I realize that I had much more negotiating power than I thought I had, I should have asked for a lot more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1930541 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 10:02:59 +0000 MrsKoala 1930541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My field is female dominated and very poorly compensated so I'd be shocked if a man made more than I did mainly because we don't make a lot and I don't know any men who work in my field.</p> <p>That being said, I make significantly less than my husband but he is in a higher paid industry and has been in that industry for 8 years whereas I have only been in mine for 3 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/3#post-1930532 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 09:58:53 +0000 Ginabean3 1930532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I used to work, DH made way more than me. He's in finance while I dabbled in teaching and then marketing. We both have graduate degrees. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930529 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 09:58:17 +0000 JoJoGirl 1930529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: Inspiring :) Sounds like me except without the breakthrough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930526 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 09:56:12 +0000 Anagram 1930526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: smart! What do you do now? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930508 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 09:50:58 +0000 RsMom 1930508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a masters and work in the field of sciences and my husband has a trade job and makes about 25% more than me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930488 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 09:46:21 +0000 namaste 1930488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I make less because I work for myself but since DH &amp; I are in the same field, we would make the same. I actually was offered more than he was for the beginning of our marriage until I started working less hours in admin. </p> <p>Women and men in our field, depending on experience, usually make the same. DH &amp; I are usually offered more because we have 9+ years of experience, even without degrees. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930458 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 09:37:17 +0000 artsyfartsy 1930458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH makes twice as much as me for now. Hopefully when I get my promotion I will be just slightly less. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930438 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 09:26:45 +0000 lizzywiz 1930438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I make 2.5 times as much as DH. He is in social-work and I am in medical. I earn at the top end of my field for our area right now.</p> <p>That being said, I spent my early 20's in a semi-stagnant career of military intelligence/government work. I was definitely the stereotypical female employee who was caged in by male cronyism and my own passivity. I liked the work but didn't have the personality to break through the brotherhood wall and get the promotions I deserved.<br /> I went back to school for a career that suited my goals and even then was one of the lowest paid in my state. Too passive, too complacent in my career moves. I gave up pay to play nice. Stupid, stupid, stupid.<br /> I had LO and we were barely able to pay daycare and all of our bills. I realized my husband wasn't going to magically make more money. Finally, FINALLY I had the kick in the ass I needed to strategically and aggressively plan out my next steps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930365 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 08:49:21 +0000 snowjewelz 1930365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I make significantly more but it's b/c DH is not in a normal career field by any means! </p> <p>I have a feeling I probably make less than men in my position though. I knew it for a fact at my old job but not sure about the company I'm at now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930305 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 08:09:48 +0000 lamariniere 1930305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last year I made more before taxes (as a WAH, self-employed, freelance person!). This year I will make significantly less since I took 5 months mat leave plus my holidays/vacations are obviously not paid. I have no idea what others in my field make since, as a freelancer, it really varies by country and industry and my job puts me in competition with people from all over the world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930242 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 07:11:57 +0000 Adira 1930242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: I work for a government contractor so our pay grades are published and I know that someone of the same education/experience as me will be in the same pay grade. But the grades are HUGE and one of my colleagues who started the same day as me on the same project with the same education/experience (different schools, but same major, similar GPAs, similar internships), and he made a LOT more than me. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930236 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 07:05:35 +0000 looch 1930236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interestingly, my husband and I are in the same field, working for the same employer. We have about the same number of years of experience now (after I took 2 years off) and he makes more than I do. The reason for that is he is a full time employee that came over as an internal transfer and they met his salary. I came over as a consultant and while I named my number and got it, the immediately told me it would be impossible to match my salary, which was the same as my husband's. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930212 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 03:32:17 +0000 Cherrybee 1930212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I make a lot more than my DH - like double - but we are in very different sectors. The irony is, my DH gives me advice about my team issues and coached me for my interview! He's a much better manager than me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930189 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 00:11:42 +0000 bpcmarj 1930189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>D H has weeks where he makes nearly my yearly salary in a week, but those are atypical. But, he makes significantly more than me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930113 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 22:37:56 +0000 Espion 1930113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will always earn more, but that is simply by virtue of our career choices. Historically in my general field, women typically get paid less than their male counterparts. Even going through the same exact training. My specific field is so small, that I think my salary is very competitive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930110 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 22:33:10 +0000 blackbird 1930110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: pool of money!! But oh, men for sure tend to negotiate more than women. I would bet this is most often the case </p> <p>I actually did NOT negotiate for my current offer, but I took the guidance of a few male mentors who advised me against it. Our company...frowns upon internal negotiations, no matter your gender </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930104 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 22:30:35 +0000 mrsjazz 1930104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like that lots of people have chosen the last poll option of wanting lots of money, lots and lots of money.</p> <p>The poll numbers look great, but reading some of the comments makes me sad. The thing I love about government jobs is that the scale (seemingly) is only based on experience and education. I've applied to gov't. jobs where the range is advertised, I'd be curious to see two candidates, a man and a woman, with similar experience get the job and whether or not the man would negotiate for a better salary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930092 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 22:21:52 +0000 LemonLong 1930092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I have similar education and both work an office job. He has 0 People reporting to him, but I have around 60. He still makes $15K more than I do. I think he's a stronger salary negotiator than I am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohm-in-hetero-relationships-do-you-make-more-or-less-than-your-dh/page/2#post-1930086 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 22:18:29 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1930086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I work part time (25 hours) so I make less. If I worked full time, I would still make less, but not by an exorbitant amount. He makes more than I ever will in my career field. </p>