https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 05:32:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1113956 Thu, 26 Sep 2013 13:48:21 +0000 su9su9 1113956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents is about 15 minutes away and they see my kids once a week, on Wednesdays. They come over after I get home from work and stay until the kids' bath time. My mom knows that we are busy on the weekends, so they visit on the weekday, which I appreciate. </p> <p>Yes, agree with everyone else that 3x is a lot! Once a week is ideal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1113383 Thu, 26 Sep 2013 12:01:03 +0000 Beebug 1113383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: @autumnlove: @MamaCate: @wonderstruck: @looch: @DillonLion: @Smurfette: @mediagirl: @locavore_mama: @blackbird: @Bookish: @Dandelion: @dagret: </p> <p>Thank-you so much for your responses!!!!</p> <p>My Mom left my step-dad in the Spring and now has too much time on her hands, I think that's the half of it. The other half is my issue with the fact she left which is why I just don't feel on the same page with her. I don't believe it should "punish" her from being a grandparent, but just because she has no life doesn't mean it has to revolve around mine! I struggle with how independently she raised me, but now that I have a kid it's like she expects me to rely on her more.....can't win!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1112160 Thu, 26 Sep 2013 08:09:37 +0000 dagret 1112160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>3x a week is a lot! Maybe she can be persuaded to drop one of the weeknights - and you can get a break from cooking - if you have a "family dinner" once a week at her house? Then have the other visit be a short weekend thing? My MIL randomly texts me to come over for dinner about every other week. It's heaven to not have to cook and have L get to see his grandparents.</p> <p>Now if MY mom was the close one...she'd want to be at my house every friggin' day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1112098 Thu, 26 Sep 2013 07:56:33 +0000 Dandelion 1112098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>3x a week is a lot! My kid is 6, so the novelty has worn off, but my parents have always kept their visits to a minimum...mostly cause they're busy, too, and don't have time to come over 3x a week. I see them maybe every other week. </p> <p>My inlaws...I'm just glad my MIL has a job, or else she'll be over all the time...she probably will be, anyways. I'm gonna have to work on that with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1112077 Thu, 26 Sep 2013 07:52:03 +0000 Bookish 1112077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Beebug: You're not awful. I don't get along with my mom much, 3x a week would drive me insane. I think that's quite a bit of Grandparent time....I'm exhausted when I come home from work and the last thing I want is company! I'd have to put my foot down on that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1112063 Thu, 26 Sep 2013 07:48:07 +0000 blackbird 1112063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Actually we had this issue! DH's mom lives locally and while i was on maternity leave, was coming over at least once a week, if not 2-3x/week to see the baby. She also invited us over all the time. I started to feel like all our free time was being taken up by her coming over to see E. I told DH that this was one thing while I was on leave, but it was NOT going to fly when I returned to work, because how would we get OUR stuff done? When would WE spend time as a family? He said he understood and I think his mom understands because she doesn't see her that often now. Sometimes she'll want to come by and see her after work but it's always a short visit. Or DH will take the baby to go see her for happy hour (and then I get solo time to do what *I* want to do). But when/if it gets to be too much, I can say no and DH respects that. We say "we are busy, tonight isn't good/etc". They need to respect that we have lives. </p> <p>If i want to spend the weekend with DH and E, that's how it's going to happen. I do not feel obligated to tote my baby to other family members' houses, nor to allow them to "cramp my style". </p> <p>You really should speak up. If she's not helping you (by watching DD so you can do things you need to), she's hurting you and imposing on YOUR FAMILY TIME. The nuclear family is the most important. </p> <p>3x/week would be a no go for me. That is way way too much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1112050 Thu, 26 Sep 2013 07:42:12 +0000 regberadaisy 1112050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My ILs recently moved back and they live about 15 minutes away. We see them every Sunday for Football Sunday/dinner. They also watch her once a week now on Wednesday.</p> <p>Occasionally we will also get together for dinner during the week. Sometimes they come over and a few times they made dinner and we went over there.</p> <p>@Beebug: is your LO younger? That can be harder with a early bedtime. Can you suggest maybe 2x a week? Once on the weekends and once during the week and maybe suggest she makes dinner to make things easier on you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1112017 Thu, 26 Sep 2013 07:31:34 +0000 mediagirl 1112017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm. I agree that 3x week is very difficult. I like our arrangement of once a month (but my parents live 2.5 hours away - I know, not what you asked for). </p> <p>It's going to be an adjustment getting back into a routine with you going back to work. Do you think it would be possible to set up a once a week date where your family goes to your mom's house for dinner? That way, you don't have any work and she gets to see your kiddo? I think it would be hard if a parent or in law were coming over a few times a week, especially when your time is SO limited with your lo. </p> <p>I really hope you can work this out!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1111989 Thu, 26 Sep 2013 07:13:32 +0000 Smurfette 1111989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>3x a week is alot when you are working. I would say you need time to adjust to day care and being back at work and ask she just visit on the weekends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1111969 Thu, 26 Sep 2013 07:03:31 +0000 DillonLion 1111969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just had to get in the habit of saying no when it wasn't a good time. We see family about once every 1-2 week's or so. Everyone complains that they don't see the baby enough...but they also turned down the option to do any level of childcare during the week....so this is how it has to be since we both work a ton. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1111957 Thu, 26 Sep 2013 06:54:31 +0000 looch 1111957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We see my parents on a daily basis during the week. We drop our son off at their house and they bring him to day care later. They also pick him up at 3 because my mom doesn't like the afternoon care ladies that much.</p> <p>Works out super well for all of us, we couldn't do the work we do with a different arrangement.</p> <p>I didn't answer the question my first go around. Weeknights are going to be tough if you have to get your child to bed and whatnot, and weekends involve activities, so what if you guys invited them to join you on one of those outings? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1111750 Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:58:36 +0000 wonderstruck 1111750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think 3X a week is pretty nuts when you're working and get so little of your own family time with just you, your DH, and LO. I do tend to see my mom about that much, but I'm a SAHM and she'll occasionally come by when DH is at work. However, she is helpful and loving and I'm happy to have her. My DH works a ton though, so I try to not have more than 1 day a week that we have plans after he gets off work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1111749 Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:58:33 +0000 MamaCate 1111749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>3x a week seems crazy to me, but we have no family in town. The evenings are pretty hectic trying to fit in dinner, bath, feeding, bedtime, so unless she was able to come help and lighten the load on you, you may need to set limits on what the expectations are. The return to work may be a good opening to address some of that, even if it is not a fun conversation...good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1111742 Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:53:16 +0000 autumnlove 1111742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want her to visit more....once a week would be nice but right now it is about once every 2 weeks. We live a few blocks away but she is busy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1111713 Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:33:51 +0000 Foodnerd81 1111713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>3x a week is a LOT. I don't see anyone besides DH and LO that often! </p> <p>My family is all pretty far so we don't see anyone on a regular basis, but I think that is a lot of visits. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1111703 Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:26:31 +0000 Beebug 1111703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: Thank-you!! My Mom tries for 3x a week. Two weekday/weeknight (after work to dinner/bedtime) and one weekend visit.</p> <p>Just "ugh". I feel bad since DHs parents are half the country away and visits are a few times a year, my Mom is 10 mins away and I have zero interest in her coming over. Like my ideal would be once every 10 days? I'm awful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1111695 Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:22:23 +0000 Rubies 1111695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL insists that she sees DD at least once a week and thus often means Saturdays, which cramps my style. My parents try to come over once a week, as well, but after I've picked DD up from daycare. They will play with DD and feed her dinner and do bedtime with her so as to not interfere with weekend plans...unlike MIL. Both my parents and in laws live 20 mins away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wohms-grandparent-visits#post-1111663 Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:04:37 +0000 Beebug 1111663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For those who are WOHM/WOHD household's with LO(s) in daycare that isn't a grandparent, but grandparents live locally, how often do they visit your family/you visit them?</p> <p>Do you wish you saw them/they saw LO(s) more? Less? What's ideal to you?</p> <p>I struggle with how often my Mom wants to visit and just want to see what the HB norm is on the one week eve of me returning to work full-time! I can already picture my Mom asking to come over as often as she currently does (or would like to) and with me back to work, I cannot imagine wanting to see her that much when my LO time is going to be even more precious.</p> <p>As an aside, my Mom and I aren't on the same page in life right now, and I want little to do with her period, if we had a normal relationship, this probably wouldn't even be a thought. </p>