https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 17 May 2026 08:34:26 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836524 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 15:05:03 +0000 lindseykaye 2836524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you so much for all the replies and points of view. It's been so helpful to just consider everything as well as get some validation/support that this is (possibly) worth all the rearrangement. I don't think I would have even brought it up further after this morning without some reassurance that I wasn't totally off base.</p> <p>I got information back from the VP that yes, this meeting is intended review my skills set and get to know me, as they are moving to a change in accountability for my role. Something I definitely want to do in person and which I may not have the chance to do any time soon considering upcoming flight restrictions during late pregnancy and then maternity leave.</p> <p>After talking with my husband and parents, it looks like the new plan is to meet up with them on Sunday (half way between Nashville and their place) to drop off LO with them for a couple days. Then hubs will come with me and we will (surprise!) get a whole day to ourselves together in Chicago before I work on Tuesday/Wednesday AM. He will fly back ahead of me on Tuesday to do the reverse and pick LO up from my parents half way and then return to Nashville to spend the night with her solo. Then, the two of them will meet me at the airport Wednesday when I arrive from Chicago ahead of our group flight home that afternoon. It's more logistics and flight time than the existing plan, but surprisingly less money and the same amount of driving... </p> <p>I haven't pulled the trigger on booking flights just yet since I want to get 100% confirmation from my parents that this plan works for them but it looks like this is *somehow* working out and even better than I thought it might. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836481 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 12:52:49 +0000 snowjewelz 2836481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh this is so tough! And it sucks because even if they say on paper (email) that the meeting is going in this direction, you never really know what will end up happening. So you could either be so glad you made it worked and went, or so disappointed that you moved heaven and earth to. If this is SO important, I would see if it's financially okay to sacrifice flight/airbnb costs and re-configure the trip so you can do both. Maybe call the airline/host of airbnb and try to find some way to work out changes? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836477 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 12:10:35 +0000 Sams Mom 2836477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there anyway to switch tickets to fly in for family time before the wedding, instead of after? Or is there anyway you can video conference in for the meeting? It's not like you requested vacation last week, you probably have had this trip planned and requested off for a while now. </p> <p>But if that isn't doable, then I'd go with your plan. As long as your husband is ok with the plan of flying back and forth, you can swing it financially, and it's what you want to do; then go for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836476 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 11:46:57 +0000 MrsBucky 2836476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lindseykaye: I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer- just what is right for you. Reading through, it sounds like what’s right for you is to make the meeting. That way you won’t ever have to worry about what if. As long as your partner is on board, I say you have to prioritize your desire to be there. That’s not going to be the right answer for everyone, and that’s ok. I hope it works out one way or the other! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836462 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 10:43:02 +0000 Pollywog 2836462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it were me and my husband we would go. No questions asked. The only hold up is how would your husband feel about spending time with your in-laws without you? Also, are there other options? Like going for one day and flying into a regional airport closer to your parents?<br /> For perspective, my husband has twice flown into his family vacation mid week. I've picked him up from an airport 40 minutes away. It was expensive, but worth it to preserve vacation time </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836459 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 10:37:14 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2836459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes!!! Well done -- and that is so awesome that you have a boss who knows to throw in some compliments on an email to the VP...it sounds like you have a solid advocate who can help you with this decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836457 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 10:34:46 +0000 lindseykaye 2836457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsLonghorn: You bring up all the things that I'm thinking about and make me worried about missing this. I REALLY want this new role, and I think I worry about the perception of other people in me missing the time with my parents more than I am worried about missing my parents. Hell, they'd be happy to host my LO while my hubs and I went to Chicago together for a couple days if he tagged along with me but I don't know if the driving logistics would work. </p> <p>I talked to my boss for a few minutes before a meeting we had together just now. Told him my concerns, ran some options by him, and he sent an email (bcc'd me) to the VP asking for more info. Basically whether this is a meet-and-greet situation or if it's potentially determining strategic direction of the department and/or my career development. He threw in some nice compliments which is always nice to read too :)</p> <p>@Mommy Finger: I wish this was an option, but our flights are non-refundable and so is the AirBnb we have booked for the night of 8/7. This trip is literally next week/week after so it's all super short notice. If I end up taking the Sun-Tues route in the middle of my PTO then there is no additional cost for me - and bonus I get 2 PTO days back for later. Also no additional cost for me should he, by chance, be able to meet that Thurs/Fri instead of Mon/Tues. I would basically stay at the ariport that Wednesday when we return, fly up to Chicago from FL one-way, and then get a return flight Friday one-way to the airport in my home city and have someone pick me up. Still not counting on that option or him being available for the different days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836444 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 10:08:35 +0000 psw27 2836444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsLonghorn: I agree with you. I just would want more info before I jumped through hoops. But my husband is in finance and he would definitely be jumping through hoops for certain partners and career advancement opportunities. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836441 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 10:06:05 +0000 Mommy Finger 2836441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lindseykaye: Could you shift the trip so that you go see your parents the week before the wedding and then fly to Chicago on Monday or however it works? Not sure if your work schedule or your husband's schedule would make that an issue. I would talk to your boss to get an understanding of how important it is for you to be at that meeting. I agree with @MrsLonghorn:'s thoughts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836423 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 09:31:40 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2836423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I'm going to be the voice of dissent here....if I mentioned this to my husband, he would tell me I absolutely needed to go and not to pass up the opportunity, even though it isn't a sure thing. </p> <p>When we were getting our MBAs, it was drilled into us that location and face-time matters immensely. Unless you are at a really unique company, you are more likely to be considered for promotions if you are working at headquarters, than if you are at a location in another city. Skyping in just isn't the same thing as being there to build relationships. Most importantly, you want to be in "the meeting before the meeting" (ie: go to the dinner, chat in the hallway) to strengthen the relationships -- this is where the important stuff happens, ESPECIALLY if the role you want hasn't been created yet. </p> <p>That said, you have to balance that with your family's priorities. How much do you want this new role? How much do you want to see your parents on this trip? I understand that its a really tough situation to be in, but I think that by not even considering it, you're passing up an opportunity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836412 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 09:08:19 +0000 lindseykaye 2836412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BUNBUN: @Mommy Finger: I haven't seen my boss yet today but I plan to talk to him about this and my possible options. I think skyping in would be a decent compromise if possible. Hopefully not too much would go on during the in-betweens (impromptu meetings, dinners, etc). The dates of the trip can't be shifted because the front-end of this is a wedding where my hubs is a groomsman. Sunday, the day after the wedding, is when we planned to drive to my parents (and when I would possibly fly out to Chicago) then I would return the following Tuesday afternoon, when we planned to drive back to Nashville ahead of our Wednesday flight out. </p> <p>I did offer to come up Thursday/Friday but I expect that the director's flights have been arranged and he will not be in the US those days to accommodate that since the VP asked me directly about a Monday/Tuesday visit.</p> <p>@PurplePumps: My parents are pretty far. We are in FL and they are in TN. I usually only see them 1-2x a year - it's been that way since I moved away to college and then upon my return to FL they moved to TN. They were recently in FL at the end of May and this was a little add-on to travel we were planning for Nashville. The infrequency of our visits and the burden on my husband to do the driving solo with our kid are the main reasons I hesitate.</p> <p>Plot twist - I am currently pregnant with #2 and this *might* be the only time I see my parents while I am (visibly) pregnant. I expect they will come down to visit after LO is born in December, and we plan to also go up to see them with a road trip towards the end of my maternity leave. I think my parents would support me in this opportunity but I know they (my mom) would still be kind of sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836408 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 09:04:08 +0000 psw27 2836408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would try to get more information from my boss about the purpose of this meeting. I could see this mattering in a job like my husbands but not in a job like mine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836404 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 08:53:14 +0000 PurplePumps 2836404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How far are your parents from you and how often do you get to see them? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836402 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 08:50:24 +0000 Mommy Finger 2836402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you talked this over with your boss? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836400 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 08:46:36 +0000 BUNBUN 2836400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's really tough, because you'll never know what you missed by not making the extra effort. Can you talk to your boss/manager about skyping in to talk about the role you want to create? Just talking it over with your boss might give you a feel for whether you'd really be in a meeting or just sitting in the background. Just showing that kind of dedication (being willing to fly back from a short family vacation) might win you some points. On the other hand, if they higher-ups are really there for a different purpose, your meeting might get lost in the noise.<br /> FWIW, my parents and DH would totally encourage me to fly back for that type of opportunity. Can you shift the dates of the road trip so that you'd see your parents? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836399 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 08:38:43 +0000 bhbee 2836399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lindseykaye: I think it’s more up to your family dynamic, but it’s not totally crazy. We visit our parents every summer (flight away but can drive between the grandparents). Since I SAH now I usually go to my mom’s for a longer time than dh can come. Last year he had a bunch of work stuff going on (but at this point I can’t even remember what - it wasn’t big trips or anything). He didn’t come to my family at all and only to his for 2 days. I drove my kids to his parents (4 hours each way) and stayed for 4 days (in a hotel since we can’t stay there) and he just flew in and out. And honestly it was fine, he works a lot and travels some and I’m used to doing stuff by myself. I think I would at least have the conversation with him and see where it goes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836395 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 08:35:27 +0000 DesertDreams88 2836395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the *possibility* of future job creation/promotion is not worth the sure fact of missing vacation time, missing family time, missing parent time, and the stress and money of more travel. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836393 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 08:16:03 +0000 lindseykaye 2836393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePumps: This is why I'm so torn. On one hand this could literally just be me and some conversation and then nothing coming of it. On the other hand, these are the people who are ultimately responsible for creating/approving/hiring for the positions that have been talked about for years and for which I am being groomed to move into. So, being present for potential discussion of this change, the transition, what the position would look like, and the associated responsibilities would be highly beneficial so my voice can be heard and my presence/willingness to attend taken into account. </p> <p>Part of me wants to have faith that I would not be 'left out' due to one meeting/visit. But the other pessimist in me looks ahead and sees me getting left behind in this transition. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836391 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 08:05:28 +0000 PurplePumps 2836391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me, it would depend on what that face to face meeting would really mean. In my case (I'm an engineer), meeting those higher ups in management would do absolutely diddly squat for me. They are just too many levels removed to have any sort of effect on my actual career path so I wouldn't bother changing my plans for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-opportunity-vs-family-travel#post-2836389 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 07:51:29 +0000 lindseykaye 2836389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just got a short-notice invitation to meet with a global director of my group at the corporate offices while he is in town for a few days (along with the CEO, VP, and North American Director of my group). Of course, this happens to be while I am scheduled to be away with my family (visiting my parents). </p> <p>I am pretty bummed about missing this, even if this travel was long-planned and I don't even know if this potential meeting would result in anything tangible other than having some more face-to-face time with someone in a key role within my company. I've been sort of waiting on and working towards a promotion into a role that hasn't been created yet but has been talked about for a few years. Earning my MS, working on network projects, increased traveling to other sites in North America, etc. But it hasn't actualized yet. I'm just feeling nervous lately that it... won't? And by missing this meeting (which the only other person in my equivalent position in NA will be attending) will lead to me being left behind somehow. </p> <p>There is a way for me to make it work. I could fly out from our planned vacation for a day and a half to attend, return and resume the end of this travel. I would miss the 2-days we planned to drive over to my parents house and see them within the 6-day vacation. I feel like taking that option would make me a jerk. It would mean I fly out from the main city where we will be attending a wedding while my LO and husband drive 3 hours to my parents house. Then the day they make the 3 hour drive home I would fly back and we would have an afternoon/night together before flying home.<br /> That's not really an option, is it? I don't even want to suggest it to my husband for fear of him thinking I'm nuts for considering it. Would you take that chance to make this potentially door-opening (but absolutely no guarantees) meeting? Or should I shake this off and just consider this something that wasn't meant to be? </p>