https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 22:43:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-or-sah#post-2758703 Sun, 16 Jul 2017 10:09:19 +0000 AnnabelleG 2758703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skinnycow: those are all such important considerations. I think mine are ultimately pretty similar. The part of me that wants to SAH is probably a little stronger since I'm in transition.</p> <p>@Silva: that's brave and sounds like a great way to be a SAH mom while keeping the door open professionally.</p> <p>@youboots: I'm a counselor, which is also great to do PT. 5 years apart sounds really nice for childcare costs!</p> <p>Thank you everyone for your responses! Ultimately I'm leaning towards continuing to work part time due to financial demands and desire to stay connected to my profession. I'm trying to remember that it's quality not quantity when it comes to time with my kids, and working 3 days a week, I can get plenty of both! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-or-sah#post-2758293 Fri, 14 Jul 2017 09:08:28 +0000 youboots 2758293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What kind of business are you starting?</p> <p>I mostly SAH but I'm also a photographer which I can easily very PT. I was FT 6 months a year before T was born.</p> <p>As of now I plan to have a 5 year age gap so the second would not be in kinder for 7-8 years. Unless something major changes I will amp up my business a bit but it's unlikely I will WOH </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-or-sah#post-2758289 Fri, 14 Jul 2017 08:49:26 +0000 Silva 2758289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have my masters in social work- I went back to work 3 days a week when my youngest was 16 months old. It was an agency job and the pay was pretty bad. After about 6 months I started taking on a few private practice clients and subletting an office- so now i was working 4 days a week. This was tough, but after about 4 months I felt ready to leave my other job, and went down to just 2 days a week in private practice.<br /> After my second child was born I decided to go back only one day a week. This is quite a luxury, I know- it works because my husband has Mondays off, so we don't have to worry about childcare. I sublet an office space for that one day. My son is 11 months old and I've been gradually adding in session times. I now schedule clients from 8 AM- 5PM. It is a CRAZY LONG day (I can usually count on one or two no shows, but thats it). But, it doesn't make sense to have the business expenses of rent, etc. and not maximize my earnings. </p> <p>It works for now- I enjoy keeping my foot in the door, and I love having something to do outside of the home that has nothing to do with my kids. It feels like it challenges me intellectually in a way that SAH just doesn't. I love being able to spend most of my time with my kids, and my husband has a pretty demanding job, so its nice for me to be able to take on most of the household responsibilities.<br /> We are planning to have a third child (and maybe a fourth), and I think when that kid is born I will probably leave my private practice until our youngest is in preschool. This feels scary to me in terms of losing my mind, losing professional contacts, and not having a break- but I also think it will be the right call for our family.<br /> We try to use my income to help pay down our massive student loan debt, but it doesn't always work. </p> <p>So- its been a dance. My husband is very appreciative and supportive and has always encouraged me to make the decision, while letting me know that what I do when I SAH makes his life and job easier. I do love SAH but its been an adjustment. Working part time is awesome, but I did find that three days felt like it took over my life (I feel like an asshole saying that, because I know its only three days- but I have an emotionally taxing job and I found myself thinking about it all the time when I was working that much). As a SAH I am pretty organized and keep a tidy house and maintain a daily rhythm for my kids. I'm a bit of an overachiever professionally and it was an adjustment to go from receiving external validation through work and clients to getting tiny kernels from my kids and husband, but mostly having to grow that confidence internally. I do have to check in with myself regularly because sometimes I start thinking about expanding my private practice (starting groups, adding in some evenings, maybe doing some consulting...) and I get professional offers sometimes- I have to keep turning that "upward drive" part of myself off. I love being home with my little kids, and I really want to relish in it.</p> <p>So. That was rambly, but its an ongoing process, I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-or-sah#post-2758281 Fri, 14 Jul 2017 08:37:01 +0000 skinnycow 2758281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally a personal decision and you’ll have to weigh the pros and cons. I never considered staying home but these are my main reasons for working:</p> <p>- I don’t have the temperament to stay home. Having adult interaction and time away from DD makes me a better parent when I’m with her.<br /> - Daycare has been wonderful for her. She loves her teachers and does so many activities that I would never think of.<br /> - It’s important to me to travel with my children and me working helps us afford that<br /> - Saving for retirement/college/general savings<br /> - We can afford to hire someone to clean our house :grin: </p> <p>Good luck with your decision! I totally understand your struggles – being a working mom and dealing with the guilt can be challenging. I have days where I daydream about quitting but I don’t actually want to do it lol. If you’re feeling pulled toward SAH I’m sure you can make it happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-or-sah#post-2758277 Fri, 14 Jul 2017 08:28:56 +0000 AnnabelleG 2758277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@My Only Sunshine: that's helpful to hear. Even though all of our situations vary a lot, it's interesting and helpful to hear how people got to their decisions. I'm glad your decision to stay at home worked for you! I'm hopeful I'll come up with something that fits too. Thanks for sharing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-or-sah#post-2758231 Fri, 14 Jul 2017 01:32:09 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2758231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AnnabelleG: It's hard to say because there are so many factors that go into the decision: your desires, your partner' desires, budget, your kids' temperament, etc.</p> <p>I was a lawyer for 8 years, part-time the last 3. I left to stay home with a 1 year old and 3 year old in March. For our family it was the right choice and has been great. My husband's job is pretty demanding so it's nice for him too that I'm home. I will say one thing that helped our decision is that I really never loved my job, so even if this does slam the door on me ever returning, it doesn't matter because I was unhappy in that profession anyway. If I was doing something I really loved I may have felt more like keeping a foot in the door, who knows. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-or-sah#post-2758138 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 14:11:09 +0000 AnnabelleG 2758138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: I do have childcare, my work keeps me out of the house. Just feeling very torn and having a hard time being present for my kids😣 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-or-sah#post-2758133 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 14:04:09 +0000 birdofafeather 2758133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>are you trying to build your business without childcare? i did this for the first year+ with each kid and it was near impossible once they hit toddlerhood. i work for myself and when i feel most like a good mom and a good worker is when i have set childcare. we've cobbled together stuff with grandma care but for us, it's worth it to pay to have someone set days watching the kids and utilize grandma care for when i need extra time. can you give yourself a set amount of time to get your business up and going and reevaluate? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/work-or-sah#post-2758101 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 13:27:34 +0000 AnnabelleG 2758101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids are 1 and 3. I've been working part-time since my oldest was 3-months old and have recently left my agency job (underpaid/overstressed) to branch out on my own. I know I did the right thing leaving my agency job, but right now I'm struggling so much with the changes and being the primary parent + starting my own business. </p> <p>I'm starting to daydream about leaving my job altogether to be a SAHM until my kids are in Kindergarten. I'm afraid of the financial toll, taking my 3-year old out of his daycare (it's $$) and getting back into the workforce after 4 years, but this work/home balance thing is getting to me! </p> <p>What are your experiences deciding to SAH or keep working? </p>