https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 06:15:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2304321 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 14:23:40 +0000 daniellemybelle 2304321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: No, that makes sense to me! In a lot of ways I can relate. My desire to SAH just won out over the the positives of routine, predictability, adult interaction, personal time... though when you list it out like that it sounds awesome ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2304186 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 12:51:21 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2304186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there's a general societal perception that moms who work are doing so because they have to, or, if they're choosing to, that they're not all that excited about it. Like many others have already said, I never imagined NOT working and being on maternity leave only reinforced that perspective. I had my daughter later in life (32) because I love my career and the time wasn't right for me any earlier than that. Work is a huge part of my personality and who I am, it defines me in many ways much more than being a mom does. And I am a better parent because I work. I notice more because I'm not with LO 100% of the time, I'm more mindful of our time together and how we spend it. For me, the hard parts are when work gets busy and I have to work late occasionally or travel (rarely) and I can't always get time to catch up on either side. I feel like I'm not doing either my job nor parenting right. But those times are temporary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2304148 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 12:15:37 +0000 JoJoGirl 2304148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Apples4Teacher: @daniellemybelle: I dunno. When I went back to work, I was miserable. But I would've been just as miserable staying home, if that makes sense? I hated pumping, I had strict hours with no work from home or flex time, I have no family nearby and my kid was with a stranger. But working actually HELPED me in my tough adjustment to being a mother. I needed some routine and predictability. I needed the ability to sit in silence and have a cup of coffee for 5 minutes (even if it was while pumping). I needed to be around other adults. My actual *job* was sort of irrelevant because I was too tired to do it (well) anyway, and I don't know that more flexible hours or a job I was SUPER PASSIONATE about would've even helped. I would've loved 9-5 hours, but was instead in an even tougher/longer day of 7:30-4:30. But I'm still happy to be a working mom. I can't explain it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302972 Sat, 26 Sep 2015 14:01:12 +0000 daniellemybelle 2302972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Apples4Teacher: &lt;&lt;Not everyone has the luxury of loving their job so I'm not surprised some people need to look at the bright side of working.&gt;&gt;</p> <p>I really appreciate how you said that. I've been following along with this thread. I can't really contribute at this point because while I used to work 30ish hours per week I have now cut back to just a few hours per week and SAH with my LO. </p> <p>Even though I wanted to SAH and took the opportunity as soon as it was feasible for our family, I always felt very fortunate that I was doing work I enjoyed. I do think that is truly a privilege! I was able to have to a flexible job working from home because of my husband's earnings - and we were both able to get where we did because our parents paid for us to go to college and supported us in many ways early in our adult lives. For example, if I had more student loans, I 100% would have had to stay in a 9-5 job instead of freelancing after LO was born.</p> <p>I think it is unfortunately pretty atypical to love your job. More common with the women here probably because of socioeconomic status, but that has not been the case for the majority of women I know in real life. So, I think this article probably resonates with a lot of women. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302917 Sat, 26 Sep 2015 11:10:25 +0000 smores 2302917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not everyone has the luxury of loving their job so I'm not surprised some people need to look at the bright side of working. </p> <p>Last year was really, really hard for me. I struggled with leaving my son with essentially a stranger all day while I worked with other people's kids. I was pumping and hating every second of that, felt uncomfortable with my weight and I had a huge class of struggling learners and behavior issues. I did not feel effective at my job at all and worried constantly about taking days off if LO was ever sick because I used all my days for leave. </p> <p>BUT, this year is so much better!! I have 7 less kids in my class and I'm no longer pumping, I'm working out and just feel so much happier and am enjoying my work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302833 Sat, 26 Sep 2015 05:46:42 +0000 avivoca 2302833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Overall, I enjoy working and I appreciate being able to take a day off here and there while sending H to daycare (hello sick day!). But I do resent it as well. I hate missing so much time with her, I hate that I had to go back after 12 weeks, and while my supervisor is flexible, I hate that there are nights every week where I don't get to see her because I have to work. So I try to focus on the positives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302764 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 20:53:19 +0000 bisous 2302764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There were many moments in the first year when I resented having to work full time--and fit in pumping--and travel occasionally. Things have changed tons since then and my husband is much more available to help when I am at home at nights and on weekends.</p> <p>Now--with a 2 year old and a new baby due in January, I can honestly say I love working. I work for a great company and I like what I do. And I truly could not be happy as a stay at home mom! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302696 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 18:33:20 +0000 rachiecakes 2302696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302663 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 17:24:58 +0000 JoJoGirl 2302663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: 7 weeks!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302531 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 15:16:37 +0000 rachiecakes 2302531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: I'm surprised too! I went back at 7 weeks. I was just getting used to breastfeeding, wasn't even close to sleeping. I've always had to work 40+ hours and at my last company I was the only female manager, so I didn't even have other moms to relate to.<br /> We also live away from family. My family has never watched him ever. No regular babysitter. (Our last date night was over a year ago!)</p> <p>It's never easy, but I'm up for the challenge! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302526 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 15:11:42 +0000 mrsjazz 2302526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I liked this article. Sometimes I do have to look on the bright side because this is something I still struggle with. I like what I do (don't love it), I like what working helps to provide for my family, but we've been talking about number 2 and I don't know...in a perfect world I would not work a full-time 9-5 once number 2 comes. But it's not a perfect world, so...</p> <p>gotta look on the bright side... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302514 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 15:03:50 +0000 winniebee 2302514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am only working 3 days a week and most of it's from home, but I find that with 2 kids...I enjoy working as a break from the routine of raising kids. I have much more patience with them on my non-work days and/or after work.</p> <p>I have a very flexible working situation though. And I have a nanny that watches the baby at home while I nurse when I want. She does kids laundry and keeps the house immaculate. I am fortunate to have this arrangement. We don't technically need my income....but it pays for both kids' childcare (we were paying for T to go to preschool anyways...), my law school loans, and I can save a little for my IRA and the kids' education. And my employer pays for my continuing legal education and lawyer annual dues. </p> <p>I hated working after I had T. He was a baby, my husband was in residency and T was in daycare. I worked 50 hours a week, was in charge of all the daycare schlep, and never had time for anything and felt like I was failing at everything. I quit when he was 14 months old and took 2 years off (and in the meantime had another baby). I debated going back to work for a long time after our second was born. But it got to the point where I didn't really have any excuse not to work, had never envisioned being a SAHM, and felt frazzled and burnt out at home. So, this will work for the foreseeable future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302512 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 15:03:37 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2302512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I'm intersted in keeping track of my own hourly log! One thing I often forget is how much down time work provides me. Like being able to check in on HB! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302510 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 15:02:56 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2302510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: One thing my SIL found was that getting an after school nanny helped immensely with the kids and homework. </p> <p>She said that with after school care (at the school), the kids would be wound up and they would all come rushing in the door together at 6 pm rushing for dinner, putting away backpacks etc. </p> <p>With the nanny, the kids would get home at 4 pm and get settled at the house (snack, hang up backpacks etc). By the time the parents came home, they were able to jump right into dinner and homework. They said the cost difference was minimal but made a HUGE difference in after school transition. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302408 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 14:08:21 +0000 Cherrybee 2302408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved this article!! Wow! I generally do not focus on the positives of anything. I focus on the one bad thing and tie myself in knots about it. I'm perpetually overwhelmed right now, by parenting + working + commuting - but as this article points out, I shouldn't be! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302387 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 13:59:21 +0000 ElbieKay 2302387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, I am surprised that the question was even posed. It never even occurred to me that I would need to work on this issue or "choose to see the positives". I love my son, but I would go crazy if I had to stay home full time with him. My issue with being a working mom is the lack of downtime. However, I would have that problem if I was a SAHM, too, unless I had lots of childcare.</p> <p>I am lucky, though, that I have a flexible job and can work from home when I need to (usually about once per week). That makes it easier to balance everything. I am also really happy with our childcare situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302379 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 13:54:45 +0000 MoreCoffee 2302379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: @mediagirl: Agree the pumping stress was really the worst part. There were many times I didn't pump enough and bc I had no freezer stash I'd have to get up in the middle of the night and pump, even after DS was sleeping through the night. He was MSPI and would.not.take. hypo formula (we tried so many times). It was awful and the source of much bitterness on my part.</p> <p>@Anagram: Your situation sounds tough, and I can empathize with the constant sickness. We were both able to wfh and take pto when our DS was sick (which was a lot) but it was still hard. I agree that our leave policies here need to change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302372 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 13:51:34 +0000 Truth Bombs 2302372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are definitely things that are a bummer about being a working parent. Mainly just that wearing two hats is HARD. All the things that need to get done around the house (laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, meal prep, etc) still need to get done... but as a WOHM, you have a lot fewer hours at home to actually accomplish them. And I still have to do all the things at work that my non-parent colleagues have to do, but I don't have the luxury of just working late to catch up if I need to, because I want to get home to my daughter on time every day and enjoy a few hours with her.</p> <p> But I'm fortunate enough that we could afford for me to work or stay home, and my preference was to work, so I never feel like I "have" to do it, and that makes it easier to see it as a good thing rather than a burden. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate/page/2#post-2302361 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 13:46:49 +0000 runnerd 2302361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have loathed having to work, it's been a big struggle for me. But, LO is nearing 15 months, and I am finally starting to feel like the quality of our interactions outweigh or equal the hours I lose with him due to working. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate#post-2302351 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 13:43:40 +0000 JoJoGirl 2302351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: Yeah, pumping basically blows. The only reason I didn't have MAJOR issues with pumping are because 1) I have my own office and 2) My boss at the time was an LC! Haha. So she basically scheduled all our meetings and whatnot around my pumping schedule. :) That helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate#post-2302317 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 13:27:25 +0000 Charm54 2302317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only had to go back after a year so I was ready and she was ready for some social time too. It made it easier to focus on the benefits of being a WOHM. I can't imagine going back only weeks after giving birth, I would find that really really difficult. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate#post-2302307 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 13:23:21 +0000 looch 2302307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: @mediagirl: Haha, yeah, I have it really, really good. My son goes to my parents in the morning, they get him dressed for school, my mom packs his lunch, they drop him off, pick him up, take him to appointments, etc. And two days a week on my long commute days, we eat family dinner there. Sick days don't even factor in unless I'm sick, my parents can keep him home no problem. Plus I didn't go back to work until my son was 2 and I kind of just picked up where I left off without a lot of adjustments.</p> <p>@anagram: I agree with what you wrote about your LO and other caregivers versus yourself. That was absolutely and still is the case for my son, but it's gotten so much better as he's gotten older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate#post-2302284 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 13:01:19 +0000 mediagirl 2302284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: ugh. Homework after working all day when all you want to do is sit and talk and have a nice dinner with your family. Dreading that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate#post-2302279 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 12:59:38 +0000 Anagram 2302279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Am I the only no on here? haha.</p> <p>Or rather, when I first went back to work, I wasn't seeing too many positives to my daughter being in daycare while I was at work. She was sick constantly, she never napped at daycare, she was exhausted by the time I picked her up so was too crabby for us to enjoy our time together. I was a terrible employee because I had to constantly take sick days because of LOs daycare illnesses. I was sleep deprived but couldn't nap when she napped because I was working. I was much more physically active while I was on Mat leave than when I went back to work. I could go on and on. Looking back now, I still think LO would have been better off with me at home that first year. She's always eaten better and napped better and generally thrived better with me than with other caregivers.</p> <p>However, after the turned one and after my first summer at home with her (I have summers off)...that summer was blissful so I was so afraid of more illnesses when I went back to work. But her immune system was better, and she was older and liking the more stimulating environment of daycare more, and I was a better employee and I was getting more sleep overall, so it was easier to see a positive side.</p> <p>I also don't have a lot of the benefits a lot of working moms talk about (going to take coffee breaks, or quiet lunches, or peeing whenever, or leaving the kids in daycare while they go get their nails or hair done). Because of my particular work/daycare situation, I spend all day long on my feet with hormonal preteens, and I never get to pee when I want, and I rarely get to eat lunch in peace, and I never have a moment to myself during the day. And then because LO commutes with me to a daycare close to my work and it's an hour commute, if I take a day off work, LO is with me at home too....because I'm not going to drive 4 hours in a day to go back and forth to her daycare.</p> <p>Eh. I like my job, and that helps. But I feel the same with LO 2 now. I really wish I didn't have to work during her first year. I should be Canadian. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate#post-2302277 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 12:59:24 +0000 mediagirl 2302277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: definitely circumstances can make it easier. If I had family help and didn't HAVE to send my kid to full time daycare and didn't HAVE to work 8+ hours a day in the office and was able to work remotely or more flexibly, my outlook would have been much different from the start. I like to work, too. I just didn't like being pinned down to my office chair at the office for a specific amount of time every single day when I could have been home snuggling. Or not pumping. Maybe it all goes back to pumping. ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate#post-2302275 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 12:58:45 +0000 Anya 2302275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I struggle to see the positive side. It's not so much about the number hours in the day, but that so often I feel like I emotionally have nothing left to give at the end of the day. I have trouble relating to the sentiment of not seeing the negative side because for ME, working does not make me a better mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate#post-2302274 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 12:57:58 +0000 mediagirl 2302274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: oh you lucky dog. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate#post-2302255 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 12:49:49 +0000 JoJoGirl 2302255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Yes - you're right - going back at 14 weeks with NO family or backup care does make it harder. But I'm still happy to do it. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate#post-2302250 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 12:47:06 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2302250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I liked working and I knew I had to go back. </p> <p>But, that first year is tough. Its a new schedule that changes every few weeks based on an infants changing schedule. Trying to get back into work and slowly getting more assignments as you return. </p> <p>I agree, going into the second year, this is very much how I feel. Yes, I maybe only have 62 hours free time. But I value it so much more and I focus on ways to improve. Instead of yelling at the kids to get out of the kitchen while getting lunch ready, at dinner time I try to pull them in, engage them while I am doing what I have to. Weekends are jammed packed but still we are able to reserve down time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-moms-can-you-relate#post-2302240 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 12:42:08 +0000 Alba4 2302240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a teacher and love my job. I would feel a loss of identity if I stayed at home. I also have an ideal work schedule, with lots of vacation days and summers off. </p>