https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Jul 2026 09:06:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2715140 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 14:30:02 +0000 Bao 2715140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: kindergarten can be repeated, yes. Not sure on after school programs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2715136 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 14:25:33 +0000 looch 2715136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: I would find out what the policy is in terms of maybe beginning in regular K and going to DK during the year, or repeating K if it is needed, or the ability to start in DK and move up to regular K. I think a lot of times parents assume that kids can just repeat a year, but at least where I live, it's not really an option to repeat.</p> <p>I would also look to see if there are opportunities within the school to work on those social activities, is there an afterschool program that is mixed age that could provide a stretch in a safe environment? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2715093 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 13:50:48 +0000 littlejoy 2715093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: THIS!! "I have a big problem with schools pushing extroversion as a measure of success so I would be really cautious." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2715081 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 13:39:29 +0000 KT326 2715081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: When I was in preschool the teachers encouraged my parents to have me do another year because I was extremely shy. So shy that I had no friends and I didn't play with any of the other kids (I actually remember this!). But I was ahead academically and my mom said no way. I went off to kindergarten and did great! I made friends and while I was still shy, it didn't hurt me socially or academically. Even as an adult I still take awhile to warm up to new people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2715065 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 13:27:38 +0000 gingerbebe 2715065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a big problem with schools pushing extroversion as a measure of success so I would be really cautious. I'm an introvert who is very happy and social once I'm comfortable in a setting, but still prefer smaller closer groups of friends and intimate gatherings. And my eldest is just like me so I always tell his teachers he is an introverted child who needs to warm up to everything - even new toys. </p> <p>I would just make sure she is happy, feels secure and stable, and confident, first and foremost. Introverts, in my experience, who get pushed too hard at an early age have issues with self esteem and it can be crippling. But if allowed to get comfortable and settle in, really bloom. </p> <p>I think it's important to push just enough where your kid can function appropriately and feel confident enough to do a little more stuff like public speaking, group collaborations, and being polite to new people or new surroundings, but it can be done super gradually over a long period of time. I remember just starting kinder for me was mentally and emotionally really overwhelming. I never suffered or anything, but it was just a lot to take in and I would need to play with my brother for hours or just zone out in my room when I got home. I didn't do any other activities other than church for kinder and first.</p> <p>Show and tell, selling fundraising items, team sports, book presentations, choir, band - all these things were not things I was naturally inclined towards, but I did things like that a few times a year growing up starting in like 2nd or 3rd grade and it was easier to grow into those skills because the utility of those skills could be explained to me more and I was more into the groove of school. </p> <p>Plus my parents always encouraged me to do the things that I liked doing - having play dates with just 1 or 2 friends, reading all the time, hanging out quietly in my room, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2715059 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 13:24:25 +0000 Bao 2715059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kodybear: My heart kind of sank when she told me this because my LO would be bored if she essentially had to do K twice. She is so there academically, but I don't want the teacher to feel like I'm not listening to her professional opinion. She did say I can obviously do what I want, but she thinks an extra year of K (so DK and then K) would help her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2715058 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 13:22:55 +0000 Bao 2715058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: Yeah, well that and that she is just overall more quiet. Even last year in a different class when I would visit for class parties all of the kids would be running around, screaming, jumping, climbing tables and my LO would just sit there on the rug like she was first asked. I just feel that's her listening? During stories at school she just sits and listens and isn't shouting out questions, but I don't think that makes her anti-social or meaning she has some social/emotional issues... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2715051 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 13:19:05 +0000 Andrea 2715051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would start with scheduling play dates on a regular basis and see what happens. It's not a matter of changing your child. I'm naturally shy, but I continually push myself out of my social comfort zone. I can't change who I am. I'll be naturally shy for the rest of my life, but I believe it's important to hone my social skills. But if you don't feel it's important, then leave it as is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2715026 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 13:00:07 +0000 kodybear 2715026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Me and my daughter are the same and i definitely would not hold her back for that. its just our personality! from my experience, i don't think some outgoing people *get* quiet people. we're just more observant, take in our surroundings, play with who we're comfortable playing with. i've encountered many people who think this is a flaw, but its not at all. and it just makes you feel worse when people say or act like its a flaw. (haha can you tell i have a bunch of bitterness from this?!) so i would just keep encouraging your daughter to play with her friends at school, and put her in the grade she is ready for academically. if the shyness was affecting her ability to learn or participate, thats different, but from your description she sounds fine and normal! :-)</p> <p>ETA- my daughters preschool sent me a video of her and her friends dancing too. For the first part of the video my daughters just watching. But then at the very end she does a small twirl! Haha makes me laugh every time I watch. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2714978 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 12:36:16 +0000 Freckles 2714978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: wtf. So this teacher is using the dancing video to explain her belief that your daughter has social issues, and that's why she should be in a DK program? Can you just imagine what it would do for her self confidence if she was placed in DK when there is no need? There is still such a stigma against shy/introverted kids, like it's something that has to be fixed.</p> <p>I read this article a while ago and thought you may like it, as it has some tips for social skills: <a href="http://www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/shy-kids/" rel="nofollow">http://www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/shy-kids/</a></p> <p>(sorry if i sound upset at your LO's teacher. I've been having a lot of discussions around this topic and the impact it has on girls so i tend to get a bit passionate!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2714956 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 12:15:56 +0000 Bao 2714956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: developmental Kindergarten. She's at or above most kids academically but not so much socially, but again I hesitate to jump on that because I think it's personality. She's very mature for her age but very quiet, and soaks things in. Exactly like I used to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2714945 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 11:45:53 +0000 Freckles 2714945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: What's DK? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2714943 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 11:44:32 +0000 Bao 2714943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: she does, yes! I think 3-4 kids she really takes to. @Truth Bombs: nope she likes school and does really well! </p> <p>Her teacher mentioned maybe doing DK, but this is the only reason why they suggest it (for social skills) but as her mom I think it's personality, and that not much will change no matter what. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2714929 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 11:28:30 +0000 Truth Bombs 2714929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is she unhappy at school? Is her shyness affecting her success at school? If not, I think I would leave it alone. Give her plenty of opportunities to socialize, and encourage her to do so. But if she's shy by nature, I don't think that's something her teachers should worry about changing unless it's having ripple effects. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2714928 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 11:28:10 +0000 Freckles 2714928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does your LO have 1 or 2 friends she really clicks with? I would rather start small by solidifying friendships with 1-2 kids. Maybe do more regular play dates or encourage her to play with them at school a little more. </p> <p>My older LO is very shy around new people or in new situations. She has been with the same group of kids for the last almost 3 years so she is very comfortable around them now. But if we go to a party where there are other kids, she is very slow to warm up to them and would rather stay with us.</p> <p>If a child is shy, it's hard to change that - it's her personality! And pushing a shy kid to be social makes things worse (not saying that's what you do, just a general comment). I would be upset if my daughter's teacher said that she had to work on her social skills because she was a shy child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/working-on-social-skills#post-2714912 Thu, 23 Mar 2017 11:07:36 +0000 Bao 2714912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you have a shy LO, how do you work on social skills with them? </p> <p>We had conferences with LO's teachers two weeks ago and they said she has really come a long way this year with her social/emotional skills but that she could use a little extra help still. I'm not really sure how to go about this as I think a lot of it is her personality. I was the same exact way as a kid, and that didn't change until after high school. </p> <p>For example, the teachers showed us a video of all the kids dancing and my LO was just watching. She is way different at home than she is at school, she will sing and dance and go crazy. So, as mentioned above, just like me, I think it comes down more to personality. </p> <p>Any advice? </p>