https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 20 May 2026 14:10:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-669191 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:04:39 +0000 pui 669191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Being financially irresponsible definitely was a turn off for me.</p> <p>I hate how women often get told they are "gold diggers" if they don't date men who manage their money poorly or won't get off their butts to get a job. It's not about having fancy expensive things. In fact, I was equally turned off my men who flaunted their "wealth" because they were probably broke and just spent the little money they did have frivolously. I was looking for security, not stuff.</p> <p>Or even better, they get accused of being shallow because apparently having standards means you have no heart.</p> <p>Being responsible with money and stable financially is important. No, it's obviously not all I care about, but it's up there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-669183 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:59:18 +0000 Mrs. Pen 669183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Slightly... Neither of us were anywhere near financially stable when we met. He was doing his student teach and had a year left of grad school and I only had a year of undergrad completed, and was taking time off to work full time. So we weren't on our feet at all. So him having debt was pretty standard, but it wasn't because he was irresponsible; it was stupid loans and only a few living expenses debt (since he was having to work ft as a student teacher, he also had to work pt elsewhere to pay for "life"). </p> <p>But if he had been really irresponsible, noticeably so, yes that def would have affected our relationship. We actually didn't talk money at all while dating and engaged. We are blessed that we are pretty compatible regardless.</p> <p>I did date a guy who had the poorest money management skills ever. My dad was actually so concerned about it that he sat me down and talked to me in depth about how progressing into this relationship could be dangerous. He had other concerns with the guy but money issues were a huge red flag for my dad and i really respect him for being so vulnerable with me. After we broke up I did see how devastating that could have been of we'd gotten married. We were oppsites, I was a saver he was a spender and his line was always, "I don't know where the money went!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-669176 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:56:59 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 669176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were 15 when we got together, and both spent all our money on whatever we wanted (hello first jobs in high school!) we grew together and now are both very responsible, luckily. I think money can be a huge deal breaker. My parents were total opposite and it was a large factor in their relationship ending. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-669171 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:55:03 +0000 Raindrop 669171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What an interesting read! Thank you for sharing!</p> <p>Money is a big hot button for me. I learned early on the value of a dollar and tried not to spend needlessly. Not to say I don't spend any money, I do pay my fair share when I'm out with friends and even treat people when I have the means.</p> <p>On my third date with DH is when I asked to talk about money because I didn't want to spend time and money on this guy if he was bad with money. Turned out he was really great with money and we were on the same page with almost everything when it came to money and it made me feel that much more secure with him.</p> <p>I'm really glad we were able to clear the air so early on. At the time I actually made more money (not by much!) than DH and he was still a gentleman and treated me well with that information. I just got out of relationship where I made more than my b/f and he lashed out at me after he found out how much I made.</p> <p>I think all young girls and guys should read this! ^_^ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-669152 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:47:34 +0000 banana 669152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-669120 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:26:35 +0000 illumina 669120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely not. When I started dating DH he had a significant amount of debt and we used to joke about there being a black hole in his finances- we actually sat down one day and looked exactly what his outgoings were. It didn't bother me probably because I earnt enough to support myself if not both of us and have always been really good with money. </p> <p>Anyway, fast forward 5 or 6 years, DH is much better than me with money, so careful, rarely spends anything on himself etc. I'm so glad I didn't have that view at the time otherwise we wouldn't be here now :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-669110 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:23:58 +0000 Dandelion 669110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep...and it sounds hypocritical, cause I'm terrible with money. But, I dated a guy who had terrible spending habits, and I knew that the two of us together would put us on the streets.</p> <p>But, dh has GREAT money management skills. And, we both know I can blow through money, so I get an allowance, which sounds crazy to a lot of people, but it works for us. All other money goes through him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-669103 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:21:54 +0000 Reese 669103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-669099 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:20:35 +0000 swurlygurl 669099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Luckily for me, DH fell in love with me before we took a look at each other's financial status!! I was headed nowhere good.</p> <p>He has turned me completely around, and I am SO thankful for his money knowledge! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-669032 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:00:15 +0000 sunny 669032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-669019 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 15:58:08 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 669019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes 100x, yes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668795 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 14:55:51 +0000 Boheme 668795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely. Being on the same page makes everything so much easier! I am naturally a bit more of a spender, and he is naturally a bit more of a saver, but we agree to our budget each month and stick to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668787 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 14:53:30 +0000 DigAPony 668787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes--my ex was terrible with money--he was a spender, not a saver. It made everything really stressful. My husband is not like that at all. We always talk about buying any extras just to make sure we're on the same page about everything. Although, it wasn't perfect at first--we got in a big fight about a month after we moved in together because he bought a $250 knife without even telling me! First and last time that happened. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668686 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 14:26:32 +0000 LaughLines 668686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree. I've heard finances is the #1 reason for divorce and I can completely understand why. Luckily my DH and I are very financial compatible and it has benefited us hugely in our time together. </p> <p>I also think taking a step back while dating to talk about and think about some of the "less romatic" aspects of marriage like money, goals, etc, is important. Sometimes it seems people get so excited about a relationship they don't see past the initial infatuation to some of the things that could become underlying issues in the future. Not romantic, but serious discussions can lead to a stronger foundation and understanding for each other </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668670 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 14:23:03 +0000 Charm54 668670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>YES - DH is very smart with his $$ and it's one of the reasons I we get along so well (because we both have the same mentality towards money, savings, debt, etc.)! I would hate to have to worry about his spending and am glad that we are very compatible that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668570 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 14:05:15 +0000 blackbird 668570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668484 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:47:02 +0000 Freckles 668484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Oh for sure, i don't care about how much one earns, rather that they are responsible with their money.</p> <p>@mediagirl: Wow, kudos to your husband and you! A lot of people are afraid to have that talk, never mind ask that it be paid off before getting married. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668481 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:46:28 +0000 LuLu Mom 668481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Smart money minded was important to me. My college boyfriend was 100% reliant on his parents and that was hard for me, as I had worked since I was 14. </p> <p>I was attracted to educated men since then, not necessarily rich but those who took pride in their career choice, which means full time job. So that helped! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668480 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:46:22 +0000 Alivoo01 668480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hubby and I have complete opposite spending habits (he spends, I save everything), and started our relationship in very different places. I thought being in different financial situations would be a deal breaker before, but we made it work and the hubby is now debt free! He's definitely changed his habits a bit, but he's still known as the spender and I'm the saver. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668472 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:44:56 +0000 sslm 668472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, definitely!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668456 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:41:57 +0000 Foodnerd81 668456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. Not necessarily our financial situations, but our priorities and spending ways had to line up. Otherwise you set yourselves up for a lifetime of arguing about where to spend the money you have, no matter how much you actually have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668442 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:39:00 +0000 mediagirl 668442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. My husband found out about my credit card debt while we were dating. I had to pay it off (or be on a plan to paying it off with very little left) before we were married. It was paid off 3 months after our wedding, as planned. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668439 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:38:26 +0000 aprk 668439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I insisted on us having the financial talk and discussing openly what our situation and goals would be before I agreed to move in together. Dealing with that stuff early on has helped SO much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668437 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:37:45 +0000 Bookish 668437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely YES. The fact that DH had a good job, a car (paid off), was paying his bills, and had a savings account was a big plus when we met, especially as I was 22 and had only dated guys that still relied on their parents for money! As time went on we realized we had pretty similar money habits, and it makes for a much easier marriage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668429 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:36:27 +0000 MrsH 668429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! Yes! Yes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668428 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:35:53 +0000 autumnlove 668428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! I once dated a guy who had horrible money habits...never again! I'm not saying you need to be rich but you have to make smart decisions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668424 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:34:33 +0000 MamaMoose 668424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>100% yes. I would not have married someone who I didn't completely trust to make what I would consider to be responsible decisions with our money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668420 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:33:53 +0000 MsLipGloss 668420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>YES </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-financial-incompatibility-have-been-a-dealbreaker#post-668417 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:33:31 +0000 Freckles 668417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/26/your-money/money-talk-before-marriage-a-tip-you-cant-disparage.html?src=recg" rel="nofollow">http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/26/your-money/money-talk-before-marriage-a-tip-you-cant-disparage.html?src=recg</a></p> <p>It definitely would have been for me! Big spenders were always a big turn-off for me, especially if i knew they couldn't afford the lifestyle. Luckily, DH and i were well aware of each other's spending habits and financial situation before we got married. </p>