https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 11 Jun 2026 23:12:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-be-weird-to-hire-a-friend#post-282722 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 10:49:38 +0000 TJBee 282722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for your advice. I'm obviously not looking to make any decisions right now, but it just got me thinking....</p> <p>Knowing me, the whole situation would probably not end well. As others have pointed out, I have issues with being an opinionated perfectionist, and I also have issues with confrontation, so I can imaging wanting to tell her to do something a certain way and then stressing out about confronting her until it drove me (and my poor DH) insane.</p> <p>Thanks for the input, Bees! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-be-weird-to-hire-a-friend#post-282095 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 18:02:40 +0000 regberadaisy 282095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a similar option but didn't think twice about not using it. For a couple reasons. One if you don't like the way she's watching your child it's much harder to say so to a friend. If you wanted to fire her it's much harder with a friend.<br /> I prefer a stranger that I will have no qualms over telling them I don't like how they're doing certain things.<br /> Also preschool kids are very different from newborns/infants! Does she have experience with NB/infants? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-be-weird-to-hire-a-friend#post-282089 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 17:55:00 +0000 SleepyMonkey 282089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i wouldn't hire a friend either - it can get very awkward when you go from being friends (i.e. equals) to a superior/subordinate relationship. some people handle it well. i personally did not feel comfortable with it, where i was the boss and my friend worked for me, and i don't think she did either. the friendship went from being very close to merely acquaintances, very quickly. it was a crappy situation, but that is just my experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-be-weird-to-hire-a-friend#post-281969 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:19:21 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 281969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd say from personal experience not to even consider it. Our nanny is a co-worker's relative and OMG it can be so awkward at times.</p> <p>We've just trialed two new folks who we would prefer to employ who are not in any way associated with us, except professionally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-be-weird-to-hire-a-friend#post-281967 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:16:50 +0000 photojane 281967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm with the other ladies in that I wouldn't worry too much about it now. TTC can take a while and you just never know what will happen. If down the road the opportunity arises, I would have a friend nanny with no reservations. I would much rather leave my little one with someone I know trust and care for, especially if she has that sort of teaching background. As long as you know she respects you and your parenting decisions I think it's a great idea. </p> <p>I'm speaking from experience here as I actually have a teaching degree and am paid by my sister-in-law to nanny my nephew part time. It works out great for us, and I know she appreciates not having to leave him with a stranger.</p> <p>ETA: also I should add that I would hate, hate having a stranger in my house all day. that's not even an option for me. but I'm a weirdo. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-be-weird-to-hire-a-friend#post-281959 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:11:39 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 281959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: bingo!</p> <p>I am too much of a perfectionist to hire a friend as a nanny. I would not be able to tell them if I had any issues with their care and it might get awkward. I would need my nanny relationship to be strictly professional. That's just me though... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-be-weird-to-hire-a-friend#post-281955 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:09:03 +0000 MamaMoose 281955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Obviously you have a long time before you need to seriously think about this since you are still TTC. But honestly, I probably would not hire a friend as a nanny. I would not want our personal relationship to make me hesitate to be upfront with her if there are problems. When it comes to my child I just wouldn't want any conflicts of interest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-be-weird-to-hire-a-friend#post-281952 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:06:25 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 281952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first question is... what happens if you don't want to use her anymore for whatever reason? Would that make things tense between you and your friend? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-be-weird-to-hire-a-friend#post-281951 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:06:01 +0000 sorrycharlie 281951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: beat me to it!</p> <p>I'd wait on making any decisions for awhile. Then just try a test run to see how it goes. You might find that it makes you uncomfortable, you might find that it's the best situation! And go from there :)</p> <p>Definitely don't mention anything yet - I've learned from past experiences with other things that jumping the gun can sometimes make things worse in the long run if someone changes their mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-be-weird-to-hire-a-friend#post-281947 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:04:07 +0000 Alivoo01 281947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First off, you don't know for sure if she will be a nanny by then so I'd just sit tight. When she does, you could always do a test run with her to see how she bonds with the kid and y'alls morales, etc. If it looks promising, I'd trust my friend watching my kid! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-it-be-weird-to-hire-a-friend#post-281902 Tue, 04 Sep 2012 15:41:48 +0000 TJBee 281902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I had plans with another couple recently. I have been friends with the guy since highschool and they are getting married next August. His fiance is a pre-school teacher and was saying that her goal is to become a full-time nanny after they get married. She wants to focus on 1-2 children instead of 20 so she can really making a difference. in their lives<br /> Lightbulb moment....DH and I are TTC and hopefully will have a baby around that time. We trust her 100% and know that our estimated childcare budget is more than she makes as a pre-school teacher.<br /> BUT.... how weird would it be if she became our Nanny? My fear is that I will resent her because she gets to spend quality time with my LO while I am off working all day. But then again, why would I leave LO with a virtual stranger when I could leave him/her with a friend who I know will care for them as their own? No baby yet and I'm already conflicted!!<br /> What do you think? </p>