https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 04:10:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594790 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 14:10:02 +0000 Weagle 1594790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In a word, yes. Expectations are clear in our marriage. Strip clubs are never, ever okay. Ever. And they will never be okay. You don't know that he went, but it sounds like you think it was likely. The fact that you're asking the internet about it makes me believe you think it's likely. Also, the rule when either DH or I are away is that we at least text before bed, or before the other person's normal bedtime. It's not a big deal if we only talk once a day, I tend to imagine worst case, life threatening scenarios when I don't hear from DH before bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594760 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 13:50:12 +0000 anandam 1594760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does he know your expectations about strip clubs and late nights and when to call home? Does he know how resentful you feel when he's out playing and you're home with the kids? Did you guys clear the air after last week's disappointment?</p> <p>I would be bothered because DH and I have very clearly discussed my feelings about certain of his friends who are like this one you describe, about extramarital erotic outlets, and about how often I need him to check in when he's in situations like this so my imagination doesn't run away with me. It would be a clear violation if he did this to me, but it may not be so clear unless you have really laid it down for him before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594723 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 13:29:10 +0000 Smurfette 1594723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I could care less about the strip club but since he hadn't called I would be annoyed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594697 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 13:11:09 +0000 californiadreams 1594697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i wouldn't be annoyed until i was ready to go to bed myself and texted him to say goodnight and heard nothing in response within the hour - then i would be annoyed and eventually worried. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594668 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 12:54:03 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1594668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my relationship it wouldn't bother me, simply because DH hardly goes out with just the guys and I trust him. I hope you were able to take to your DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594663 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 12:49:28 +0000 kiddosc 1594663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like others said, I'd just be annoyed he got to go out while I was stressed with the kids.</p> <p>I wouldn't wait for him to call, I'd just call him and say goodnight. If he didn't answer I'd send a text. You don't know he's at a step club, so try not to jump to conclusions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594655 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 12:39:09 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1594655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't be upset by that situation, since we'd already talked. My husband regularly goes away for multiple days for work (or play!) and we talk once a day. If we'd already talked, I wouldn't expect another call. I also don't care about strip clubs. You said you trust him, so you need probably need to working on letting that go.</p> <p>But, between this and your previous post, I think you need to start expressing yourself more to him. If you're jealous of his man-cation, tell him. It doesn't mean he has to feel guilty or not go have fun, but resentment over those things boil over into other areas of life. It's not fair to either of you to not let him know when you're upset or need more support from him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594582 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 11:47:30 +0000 Ginabean3 1594582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It wouldn't bother me...but since it bothers you I think you should call him! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594455 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 09:44:53 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1594455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Me personally? No. When my husband is "with his boys" we dont talk often. If he had called me at 7 i would figure he was probably going out and then would go straight to bed whenever he got back. I also dont really care where my husband goes out or what he does. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594411 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 08:59:19 +0000 Crisark 1594411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @blackbird: and I hope you've heard from him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594375 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 08:36:27 +0000 regberadaisy 1594375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CraftyMom13: hope you've heard from him and he's safe and sound! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594368 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 08:22:55 +0000 mrs. bird 1594368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Strip clubs are a no no in our relationship for anything other than bachelor parties &amp; then lap dances are a no no. If there's something that's been agreed upon &amp; he didn't fulfill his agreement, calling to check in at a certain time when he knows you're up waiting or going to a strip club when you've agreed that it's not something you guys want in your relationship, but if it's not something that's been discussed I wouldn't hold it against him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594354 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 08:15:21 +0000 derevival 1594354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It would bother me. All that matters is if it bothers you and it does. It really doesn't take that much effort or time to call you. I hope it gets resolved soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594342 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 08:04:12 +0000 blackbird 1594342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Considering your last posts about your husband, yeah, it would be an issue </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594339 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 07:56:28 +0000 prettylizy 1594339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It wouldn't bother me but like @mrsjyw: we've been together over 10 years and the whole boys night strip club thing doesn't phase me. I always joke that if he was leaving he'd be gone by now. Lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594335 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 07:53:00 +0000 Grace 1594335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The strip club doesn't bother me, but the not calling would. We also have a call before bed rule. It's not hard to step out for 5 min to call me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594323 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 07:19:01 +0000 Ra 1594323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Why wouldn't you just call/text him? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594321 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 07:17:20 +0000 Adira 1594321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't feel bad! My husband once went on a FIVE DAY bachelor party and didn't call me the entire time he was gone!!!!</p> <p>One night, I wouldn't be bothered by. And the strip club wouldn't bother me either. If I really wanted to talk to him before bed, I'd just call him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594287 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 04:42:39 +0000 wonderstruck 1594287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If he hadn't called all day it would bother me, or like @debbiei8: said, if he promised to call before a certain time and didn't. But if I were in his shoes and I talked to you at 7PM, I don't think I would feel it was necessary to call again that night. Let's cut the guy some slack, you just talked to him 4 hours ago and you're upset about not getting a phone call. I think you're really just jealous of his vacation like you said, which is understandable but not really fair...I'd try to just let it go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594270 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 02:49:12 +0000 bookwormmama 1594270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I would only be upset if he said he would call by a certain and hasn't. There have definitely been times DH has had guy weekends (or work conferences he has to travel for) and we didn't talk before bed. It kinda sucks but we usually talk the next day.</p> <p>I don't really care about strip clubs...DH has gone to one a couple times (but only for bachelor parties, he's not really a strip club kind of guy). I guess I just don't find them threatening, not sure why. I think I would be more jealous of the weekend out without kids while I stay home with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594269 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 02:47:22 +0000 Mrs tartan 1594269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Why don't you just ring him?</p> <p>I would only be annoyed if I tried to ring him and he didn't answer, otherwise I'm sure he is just having fun with his friend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594267 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 02:34:05 +0000 Cherrybee 1594267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted yes because it would bother me.... but it would bother me because I was home with the kids, stressed and grumpy while he has a lovely time with his friend. I would kinda know that it's unreasonable to be bothered for that reason - but it doesn't mean I wouldn't be!! </p> <p>As for the strip club bit, nah, that wouldn't bother me. I'd think it was kinda sad but I wouldn't be upset and I certainly wouldn't be stressing about it. But I WOULD be majorly jealous that he was having fun with his friend while I slaved away, solo parenting. If I have to miserable, so does he - them's the rules!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594253 Sat, 26 Apr 2014 01:05:44 +0000 mamimami 1594253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It would bother me but I would know that getting all annoyed would probably be unfair to him. So I said other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594197 Fri, 25 Apr 2014 23:03:54 +0000 googly-eyes 1594197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes but as @dillonlion said it'd be because if have four kids to chase while he was out forgetting to call! :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594194 Fri, 25 Apr 2014 22:57:55 +0000 yoursilverlining 1594194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The strip club part wouldn't bother me. They don't want my man, they don't want your man - they want some cash and that's it. I might think it was odd if my husband said he would call at a certain time and didn't, because that would be out of character for him. That said, it's happened before on rare occasion and I let it go; so I guess it wouldn't/doesn't really bother me. Everyone deserves a night off, especially when they are with friends. I would just set yourself up some time off when he gets back. Fair is fair!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594192 Fri, 25 Apr 2014 22:54:38 +0000 mrsjyw 1594192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and no. Id be annoyed that he hasn't called yet. But I wouldn't be annoyed about the strip club pit stop on his pseudo boys night. We've been together nearly a decade. Not much bothers me anymore and know DH and his actions well enough to put my own reasoning together why the call hasn't been made yet. He likely would've texted me at the very least. Id veg out and go to sleep! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594178 Fri, 25 Apr 2014 22:33:53 +0000 Kimberlybee 1594178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted other. He probably has a legit reason not to call or text yet. In my case, I watch little one all day. My phone is always on silent mode so I can't get to my calls or text right away but I always try to respond within the hour. When he does call, be calm and hear him out. The worst feeling is being innocent but labeled as guilty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594176 Fri, 25 Apr 2014 22:28:11 +0000 loveisstrange 1594176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Now? No, not really. DH was in the military and frequently left for 1-4 weeks at a time. I think I just got used to it and I trust him enough to know he's not going to do something I don't like (our joking rules are "no drugs, no hookers". Realistically, he knows I'm okay with him having a few drinks and maybe going to a strip club, but I'm not kosher with contact or lap dances.)</p> <p>3-4 years ago, I would have flipped out. At this point, we've been together for 8 years. I know what he gets up to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594161 Fri, 25 Apr 2014 22:19:34 +0000 Honeygold89 1594161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and no it would bother because after having a long day I would be annoyed that he hasn't called yet especially if he knows I don't sleep well without talking to him but no because he'll most likely call before bed </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-bother-you-7#post-1594157 Fri, 25 Apr 2014 22:13:52 +0000 CraftyMom13 1594157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@locavore_mama: I'm really trying not to let it get to me and then it does. I fully trust him but just the thought of him in the strip club bothers me.<br /> @DillonLion: I think this is what I'm feeling. He only has to really work 2 days while he is there and the other 2 days he is pretty much free to do whatever he wants with his friend. I'm jealous of his mancation </p>