https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 21:10:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1140632 Wed, 09 Oct 2013 13:16:04 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1140632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Crisark that you should be more explicit in your wishes. I think her saying "Mom caught us..." shows that she knew your preference for X not to have any solids and that's a problem. She is not being a good employee by acting defensive when you talk to her. She should be open and accommodating to your preferences about your own child (as long as it falls within the center's rules).</p> <p>Honestly, since you've had issues with this teacher in the past, you should probably go to the director and speak about it. Ask her what the solid foods policy is (if there is one) and let her know that the teacher gave X solids and knew you didn't want her to (because of the "caught us" comment). I'd probably go further to add that this teacher argues with you about X's care and that is making you uncomfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1139749 Wed, 09 Oct 2013 09:13:41 +0000 Crisark 1139749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you had told them to absolutely NOT feed him any solids aside from anything you send with him then yes I'd be mad.<br /> However, to be honest, your description of the situation sounds like you've had some passing conversations about it, you didn't really review their policy on solids and doesn't sound like anything concrete has been put out there.<br /> Would I be annoyed, probably. But, I'd look at how I'd approached the situation to begin with and see if possibly I had given exact instructions and made it clear there was to be NO wavering on the issue.<br /> He also may have seen other children with something and may have acted interested...at this age that's going to be an issue. </p> <p>Again, I understand your problem with it, however I'm not going to be quick to jump on the bandwagon of the daycare worker being horrible or them not caring about your wishes. That may not be the case at all. It's up to us parents to be as clear and firm as possible on these types of situations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1139720 Wed, 09 Oct 2013 09:06:31 +0000 blackbird 1139720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You gave them explicit instructions to NOT feed him solids and they did it anyways? Yeah. I'd be pissed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1139707 Wed, 09 Oct 2013 09:03:56 +0000 Modern Daisy 1139707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pretty laid back so like you I wouldn't have freaked out, but it would prompt me to contact the owner of the daycare to ask about their policies regarding feeding solids just so I was clear on it. Because if they have a "we do what we think is best regardless of parent direction" philosophy then I would at least want the opportunity to discuss it with DH to make sure we were comfortable with that - which we most likely would be as long as DS didn't have any known health issues. </p> <p>The way I see it if we are trusting them to watch DS full time then they should have SOME autonomy to try new things with him and shouldn't always have to be checking with us first. I understand food is tricky because of allergies, but honestly if I trusted them to be watching him for signs of trouble and do the right thing then I would be more relaxed about it. At the end of the day, they are in the business of caring for children so I would tend to think they know what they're doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1139691 Wed, 09 Oct 2013 09:00:26 +0000 sotofamilia 1139691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I know I'm late to the party too, but this would definitely upset me. You're paying them to watch your child - it should be your rules, period. If you said to wait for solids, then they need to wait. If there is one thing I've learned since I've been back to work, it's that you need to be able to trust your caregiver to follow your instructions! I hope it was just that one time :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1139680 Wed, 09 Oct 2013 08:58:45 +0000 yellowbird 1139680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be pissed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1139664 Wed, 09 Oct 2013 08:55:05 +0000 Adira 1139664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oscarthegoon: Thank you for sharing your experience!!! It definitely sounds like we're similar in the sense that we both don't like confrontation! I'm soooooo bad at it! And I hate coming across as controlling or bitchy, so I know I have a tendency to not really stand up for myself. I've been pretty firm in the past that NO, he does NOT need more BM, he does NOT need solids (prior to 6 months), blah blah blah, but it's definitely hard because the teacher I deal with can get argumentative and defensive (or makes ME argumentative and defensive), so I'm not sure that we're communicating with each other effectively!! Ugh, what a mess.</p> <p>I'm not OVERLY concerned about allergies because no one in either my or Hubs' families have food allergies, but I do keep thinking that what if he HAD an allergic reaction? What if I hadn't caught them trying to feed him?? I would have had NO idea that he had eaten something he shouldn't have and maybe thought he was allergic to CARROTS (the food we're currently introducing)! And I've heard that if babies do have an allergic reaction to a food, it's WORSE the second time, so what if he had a reaction, I assumed it was to carrots, and then I fed him apples which is what he was really allergic to??? UGH! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1139637 Wed, 09 Oct 2013 08:48:16 +0000 mrsjyw 1139637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be livid, especially since you've let them know your transition to solids plan. NOT okay in my book. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1139635 Wed, 09 Oct 2013 08:46:44 +0000 oscarthegoon 1139635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I know I'm late to the party here, but I just wanted to say that dealing with my child's first daycare provider was quite a lesson in learning to stand up for myself and my child and learning how to tactfully communicate my concerns while staying firm. It was so hard! I've never been good at confrontation, and like you, I tend to be like, "Uh, what am I actually seeing here?" and doubt my immediate response because I don't want to overreact. So I would often not say much at first, sleep on it, then the next day summon my courage and say "It really concerned me when I saw...." and she would argue with me that whatever she did was fine and I would have to stay firm and say "I disagree and I need you to respect my wishes". This happened repeatedly (we eventually left) and it was so stressful! I'm self conscious about being overprotective and controlling, but ultimately I told myself that I owed it to my child to stand up for him and if I felt something was wrong, I'm the customer, and the person I'm paying to care for my child should respect my wishes. She worked for me! In the case of daycare feeding Xander new foods, I absolutely agree that is WRONG, it is a potential allergy/health issue, and without question they should respect your wishes and follow your lead on solids. What if they gave him a new food and he had an allergic reaction to it at daycare? It's too important of an issue to let slide. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1139633 Wed, 09 Oct 2013 08:46:15 +0000 LuLu Mom 1139633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: As a mom of a child with allergies I would be livid! I would think a center should realize how big of a deal this is. We have given very strong instructions to our daycare lady and she would never try to give anything without me knowing. She texts me before introducing anything new &amp; I have given her freedom at this point since she's well aware of her dietary restrictions. It makes me sad that your teacher doesn't seem to respect your wishes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1139113 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 19:57:30 +0000 Adira 1139113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: Gahh! I forgot all about it!!! Though they weren't trying to feed him when I got there, so that's good at least! Bleh! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1139112 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 19:57:08 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1139112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Whoa, the teacher's response was disturbing. Clearly she knows she was in the wrong. Hope she listens to you from here on out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1139086 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 19:47:49 +0000 Smurfette 1139086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: What happened with this today? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1137041 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:59:25 +0000 Smurfette 1137041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be pissed! I would go talk to the director tomorrow. How do they know you haven't tried them and he was allergic. At this age they can't just give him whatever they think he can have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1137029 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:53:48 +0000 Dandelion 1137029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would ask tomorrow what else he has been fed. </p> <p>But yeah it would bug me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1137005 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:43:51 +0000 Lindsay05 1137005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, this is something LO's grandparents always do. I dont think its funny at all and never laugh when they say it. At least it was only a puff and not chocolate or something too ridiculous. I would hope they wouldnt try anything too stupid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136994 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:34:40 +0000 Adira 1136994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: Do you think I should just say something like "We haven't introduced Xander to a lot of foods yet, so to narrow down any potential allergies, please don't feed him anything besides his bottles until we've fed him a wider variety of foods at home." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136991 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:32:56 +0000 Adira 1136991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@locavore_mama: I'm honestly not sure their policy on solids - I hadn't really looked into it yet because he wasn't eating solids there yet! Or so I thought. This daycare does provide lunch and snacks, so I knew that at some point, he would be eating whatever they provided, but I hadn't really looked into any of it yet... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136990 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:31:57 +0000 Rubies 1136990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Ooooh. Well then, of course I'd be annoyed! But I think you responded well in that you reiterated that you had not yet given Xander any puffs. I would remind them again tomorrow not to give him anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136987 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:30:46 +0000 regberadaisy 1136987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What is their policy in solids? Mine will not give them something unless you have OK'ed it. It sounds like she already knew she was not supposed to and did it anyway.<br /> If I were you I would have a talk with the director. In my opinion it's unacceptable that she is giving him something without your consent. How are you suppose to rule out possible food allergies if they are just willy nilly feeding him stuff? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136986 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:30:43 +0000 Adira 1136986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: I've told this teacher that I wanted to introduce solids to him at home and wouldn't be sending food with him until he's eating more regularly at home, so I think she knows she's not supposed to feed him... hence the "Uh oh, mom caught us!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136984 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:29:44 +0000 hilsy85 1136984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would absolutely be upset. I wouldn't want any new foods introduced to my LO without my permission--what if you didn't want him eating puffs? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136982 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:29:35 +0000 Adira 1136982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: This teacher has asked me about introducing solids and even offered to do it at daycare and I've repeated told her that we're introducing them at home and that I don't want to have them feed him until he's eating them more regularly at home.</p> <p>@dojo: Well, I said "caught what?" and she said "I tried giving him a puff, but he immediately spit it out" and then I said "We haven't introduced puffs to him yet." But she didn't say anything else... I'm not sure if she's given him other food or not! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136981 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:29:01 +0000 Rubies 1136981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would only be upset if I had specified that he was not to be eating anything other than what I had provided. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136980 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:28:41 +0000 Boheme 1136980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be ticked. Potential allergies are no joke! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136978 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:27:17 +0000 Adira 1136978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: Yeah, I was so flustered that I didn't really say anything. I said "We haven't introduced puffs to him yet." I'm so bad at responding to stuff like this as soon as I happen because I tend to just be all "what just happened?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136977 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:27:04 +0000 dojo 1136977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's nuts - I would be pretty annoyed! They should only be giving him things that you have approved. What about allergies?! </p> <p>Do you think they have given him other things or did she say anything else? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136975 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:27:01 +0000 mrbee 1136975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What instructions did the daycare have around Xander and solids? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136968 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:23:53 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1136968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have quickly said "caught what?" Then asked why se was feeding him puffs when you haven't introduced them to him yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you#post-1136967 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 18:23:40 +0000 swedishfish 1136967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It would annoy me. Daycare should be following your lead when it comes to solids...and you need to make sure he doesn't have any allergies before he moves to combination flavors. I'd say something to the teacher. </p>