https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 13:04:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition/page/2#post-1669921 Fri, 30 May 2014 20:48:22 +0000 Shutterbug 1669921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My childhood best friend was born a female and has since transitioned to be male. I think in hindsight I knew he was meant to be a boy by maybe age 5 or so (not that I knew anything about trans people as a kid in the 80s). In high school he nearly killed himself (pre-transition) and suffered from anorexia, cutting, etc. After seeing him go through all he went through, and how happy and fulfilled he is as a male, I couldn't imagine not supporting my child 100% to be who they feel they were meant to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition/page/2#post-1669896 Fri, 30 May 2014 20:33:44 +0000 Adira 1669896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So bummed I missed this yesterday! What an inspiring story!!</p> <p>I think this would be really hard, but if my children were transgendered, I would support them 100% no matter what. I think it would be difficult and I would definitely mourn the loss of what I thought I had, but then I would try to fully embrace this "new" vision! What these parents did for their son is truly inspiring and it was beautiful to see how happy he was after he transitioned! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition/page/2#post-1669676 Fri, 30 May 2014 17:27:48 +0000 lizzywiz 1669676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would totally support it but if you had asked me this question 10 years ago it may have been different.</p> <p>Around that time I had the opportunity to work with a young man who was Korean American, had severe autism, was nonverbal and transgender (female to male). He dressed as a boy and peed standing up and basically lived as a boy.<br /> One of the first things he communicated when he got a voice output device was that he was a boy and he wished he had a penis. </p> <p>It blew my mind and uncovered some stereotypes and prejudices I didn't even know I had.</p> <p>I apparently had an idea in my head of what a person with autism was like and what a transgender person was like and never the two shall meet....until they did. I realized how little I understand what happens in the minds and bodies of others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition/page/2#post-1667552 Thu, 29 May 2014 22:34:24 +0000 immabeetoo 1667552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not only would I allow them, I would help them in whatever what I could. I have never heard of a child or adult who "changed their minds" when it came to their gender identity and transition decision. </p> <p>Zero question in my or DH's mind that we would be 100% supportive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition/page/2#post-1667550 Thu, 29 May 2014 22:32:04 +0000 yoursilverlining 1667550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I cannot imagine seeing my child have such profound unhappiness and shame over living in a body they knew was not them/theirs and not supporting my child 100%. E is my love and I love her whether she is male or female; I don't only love or support her as one or the other gender. </p> <p>I will absolutely always allow her to be herself (or himself) with the proper support (from me, family and professionals). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition/page/2#post-1667536 Thu, 29 May 2014 22:22:23 +0000 luckypenny 1667536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Espion: I know someone who is leading a very happy life after transitioning from female to make. I didn't know he was transgendered until my husband told me months later!</p> <p>Yes I would absolutely support whatever my child wanted. It wouldn't even be a question with DH (he has his masters degree in gender studies). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition/page/2#post-1667518 Thu, 29 May 2014 22:13:03 +0000 mrbee 1667518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: Definitely would love to learn along with you, if you ever have resources to share!</p> <p>Did you see the response to the Grantland story on Dr. V's Magical Putter? Learned so much from that...</p> <p><a href="http://grantland.com/features/what-grantland-got-wrong/" rel="nofollow">http://grantland.com/features/what-grantland-got-wrong/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition/page/2#post-1667515 Thu, 29 May 2014 22:10:50 +0000 mrsjazz 1667515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: @Mrs. Pen: There are a ton more that I had never heard of before, but I'm learning! Identity is such a personal and complex issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667502 Thu, 29 May 2014 22:03:54 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1667502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: I somewhat know someone who is androgynous and what he says is "pansexual" and he uses the pronouns "we" and "my people". I thought it was weird. I'm not sure why he does though? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667498 Thu, 29 May 2014 22:00:44 +0000 mrbee 1667498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: Wow, I never knew that they could be a singular pronoun! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667491 Thu, 29 May 2014 21:58:20 +0000 mrsjazz 1667491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: slightly off topic but I work at a very progressive place, so from day 1 you learn everyone's PGP (preferred gender pronoun) and they learn yours. There are a couple of people who go by "they" and it still trips me up because I'm so not used to using "they" as a pronoun for an individual. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667475 Thu, 29 May 2014 21:50:26 +0000 mrbee 1667475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Side note: transgender people greatly prefer to be called by the gender they identify with! In this case, Ryland would want to be referred to as a he. Here's how GLAAD puts it in their media guide:</p> <p>&lt;&lt; If it is not possible to ask a transgender person which pronoun he or she prefers, use the pronoun that is consistent with the person's appearance and gender expression. For example, if a person wears a dress and uses the name Susan, feminine pronouns are appropriate. &gt;&gt;</p> <p><a href="http://www.glaad.org/reference/transgender" rel="nofollow">http://www.glaad.org/reference/transgender</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667415 Thu, 29 May 2014 21:32:06 +0000 LovelyPlum 1667415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mamimami: I really identify with what you said. I will love my kids no matter what, but I'm not sure what I would do. Difficult, no matter what. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667291 Thu, 29 May 2014 20:59:53 +0000 Espion 1667291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I agree. I doubly agree about the "strong enough" part! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667176 Thu, 29 May 2014 20:35:09 +0000 irene 1667176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Espion: Very true about the surgery part that girl to boy is much more difficult. I am just thinking the "growing up" part. For a girl identifying as a boy, s/he is just a cool tom-boy who wears pants and has short hair. For a boy identifying himself as a girl, s/he may get seriously beat up for dressing and acting like a girl and play with dolls. I guess the happiness part happens for whoever is strong enough to deal with this crap for 20+ years and at the end of the road to a successful transformation/operation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667103 Thu, 29 May 2014 20:20:40 +0000 Arden 1667103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: I would homeschool, or hire an at home tutor if at all possible, if he was being bullied. I feel like dealing with the bullying would be less damaging than feeling like you are "wrong" your whole life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667092 Thu, 29 May 2014 20:18:40 +0000 Arden 1667092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mamimami: I also noticed the stereotype in the video, but I wonder if maybe they focused on the pink/frilly/ruffles to sort of show people that they DID want and celebrate her being a girl and treated her as a girl, so that naysayers wouldn't accuse them of pushing her into being a boy because that's what they wanted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667045 Thu, 29 May 2014 20:08:55 +0000 Bao 1667045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667040 Thu, 29 May 2014 20:07:26 +0000 Espion 1667040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: In adults, from my own observations, the males to females are generally the happiest. I've yet to meet a truly happy female to male transition. But it all depends on what they are looking for. I have no idea why, except if they want to be surgically transitioned, the surgery from female to male is more difficult. So there seems to be more dysphoria. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667022 Thu, 29 May 2014 20:04:00 +0000 Espion 1667022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. And we are starting to recognize that families need help with this transition. You can google the GeMS clinic in Boston, which is a collaboration of clinical psychologists, urologists, endocrinologists, social work, etc. to help with both transgendered identities as well as congenital malformations. </p> <p>Europe has been way more progressive than we have been as of late. They are fairly quick to offer hormones with parental consent and the child's assent. (You have better outcomes if the hormones are initiated prior to puberty. Of course...the debate is whether the child can make that kind of decision so early and what influence the parents should have, if any, on that decision.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1667007 Thu, 29 May 2014 20:01:23 +0000 fairy 1667007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: +1! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1666997 Thu, 29 May 2014 19:59:50 +0000 mamimami 1666997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not sure what I would do. </p> <p>I would love my child no matter what and I am just a layperson. However, I wonder how much a child that age is able to grasp the concept of gender identity as something that can be very fluid and untenable. At that age I think kids feel there are just two options -- boy or girl. </p> <p>I guess would not make any big moves based on a 3-5 year old's limited concept of gender.... My 3 year old has trouble getting his mind around the fact that I don't like princesses because somehow school/friends/society have made him see that as a non-negotiable for females.</p> <p>That's what sort of didn't sit well with me about this video. It was like, "we thought we had a girl. (Cue frills, pink things, etc.) but it turns out we had a boy (cue soccer, bikes and boy stuff)." I don't know, it seemed so stereotypical to me I guess. Reduced. </p> <p>Anyway I would let my child dress however he or she wanted but I don't think I would label him/her transgender at that age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1666993 Thu, 29 May 2014 19:59:12 +0000 irene 1666993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Holy crap, you scared the crap out of me when you say helping a transgendered kid from being a girl to a boy. I thought they literally did an operation on him (from female parts to male parts, you know). Thank God it was just an identity change of "she" to "he", hair and clothing change.</p> <p>Yes of course I would change (in terms of helping him / her identify with the gender he / she identifies with). I wouldn't even have that long hair phase to be honest. I just feel bad for him when he grows up and his voice doesn't change and the female parts (boobs) come in. Then when he falls in love his girlfriend would kinda be like a lesbian, and how do you break the news to her...etc. Just a difficult road to go on a daily basis. God bless him and I hope he is tough enough to go through it. I hope our society will become a much more mature and open place then too to accept this.</p> <p>Definitely no operation until he/she becomes an adult. This is his/her own call then.</p> <p>I have to say, in a way, it is much easier to go from girl to boy. It is a MUCH tougher road for a boy going to be a girl. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1666946 Thu, 29 May 2014 19:49:08 +0000 mrsjazz 1666946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I would be open to medical treatment if my child was getting closer to puberty. Puberty can be such a horrible time for any cis (gender matches biological sex) person, so I can only imagine it's hell for a trans person. Prolonging puberty could be a way to help get a handle on therapy and come up with a family game plan. I don't know this personally, but I have heard through a friend how hard it is to have breasts or have your period and have your body basically betray you when your brain is telling you your body is wrong. So if it was a phase (though I would doubt it at that point, but who knows?) that is reversible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1666932 Thu, 29 May 2014 19:47:03 +0000 ShootingStar 1666932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, we will let him self-identify as whomever he wants to be. It may not be something I understand all that well or am even super comfortable with - there was a 50-something man at my last job that transitioned and it was very uncomfortable for me and many people with how he went about it. But I love my son too much to risk his life and his happiness for the sake of my vision for who he should be.</p> <p>ETA: To all those who say they'd wait until their kids are older, I think the issue is that before puberty there's options to stop it from happening. But once they reach a certain development point, it'll be a much more difficult medical change later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1666889 Thu, 29 May 2014 19:38:53 +0000 Applesandbananas 1666889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would seek out expert advice but hold off on anything permanent until LO was an adult/older teen. I don't think a 5 year old could grasp the concept of permanence well enough to do anything beyond allowing the clothes/style that felt most comfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1666870 Thu, 29 May 2014 19:32:35 +0000 hummusgirl 1666870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I would absolutely do what this family is doing, though I'm sure it would be hard at first. I read a fantastic book, Far From the Tree, which had a chapter dedicated to transgender people and how their parents handled the situation. It was really eye-opening and confirmed that what the parents in the video did is completely the best thing to try to avoid the depression issues that usually arise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1666854 Thu, 29 May 2014 19:29:48 +0000 daniellemybelle 1666854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my initial reaction would be, what if it's a "phase" &amp; they ultimately regret it? It is so hard to know. I would have to consult many experts &amp; do a lot of research &amp; soul-searching. Even though I know it's better/easier to start transitioning before puberty, I would be really resistant to anything medical or irreversible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1666819 Thu, 29 May 2014 19:24:32 +0000 mrsjazz 1666819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do the same thing these parents are doing. It would definitely be hard, this is something DH and I have discussed. I know for me it would be hard to see my little girl be a boy, but that's because I've always wanted a girl. I'd quickly mourn the loss of my idea about who my child was supposed to be and accept who my child is.</p> <p>Too many people throw their children away because they can't accept who their children are. In addition to the suicide rate of transgender individuals, the homeless rate of trans youth is high, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-allow-your-transgender-childtoddler-to-transition#post-1666785 Thu, 29 May 2014 19:16:25 +0000 Synchronicity 1666785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely. I know how it feels to be uncomfortable in your own skin - not in the same way or to the same extent, obviously, but I would never want my child to feel like that. </p>