https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 17:56:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797581 Tue, 21 May 2013 10:37:39 +0000 edelweiss 797581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>before LO i would have said no because i want to be careful of boundary issues, but now that LO is here, i would like my parents (who live nearby) to spend more regular time with LO. but they travel and have lots of social plans, and i don't want to interfere with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797566 Tue, 21 May 2013 10:33:39 +0000 LovelyPlum 797566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Neither of our families live close by, so this won't be an option for us. But, when we were growing up, my dad's mom watched us all the time. Both of our grandmothers did, actually. We liked going to my dad's mom because she also watched our cousins, which means we got to play with them when we went over. We enjoyed it, but I can't speak to whether or not they listened to our parents' rules. I know we went for years, though, so I guess so? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797221 Tue, 21 May 2013 09:02:18 +0000 littlek 797221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pink Champagne: I think you are responding to my comment about my parents being retired. I'm just saying what my parents idea of retirment is, not others. This is just my familys circumstance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797215 Tue, 21 May 2013 08:59:06 +0000 cascademom 797215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My inlaws live far away, so it's not an option thankfully. I don't trust them to look after LO for long stretches. They're smokers. They also pride themselves on sleeping in like it's the best character trait in the world. Not kidding. It would be pulling teeth to get them ready to care for an infant. </p> <p>The most they've been alone with him has been a couple of hours. When we visited them, LO got overfed (IMO) by them. They wanted to feed him Cheerios and other food we had to constantly tell them not to. </p> <p>I trust my parents to watch LO. They watch my nieces and nephews. They work well to impose structure, schedule, and discipline. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797202 Tue, 21 May 2013 08:52:53 +0000 BananaPancakes 797202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL watches my son regularly, when we have date nights or if I need to run errands. I'm actually starting to let her take him twice a week while I'm at work, so that I can get a break, as well. She loves it and would watch him every day if I let her. She's a part time art teacher and only works a couple days a week, so I think it's good for them both to hang out together. </p> <p>My SIL is a teacher and really wants to take him for a day a week during the summer, as well. They'd have fun together, I'm sure. </p> <p>I'm at the point now, where I think my son, who's 13 months, really needs to hang out with someone other than myself. He's turning into way too much of a mama's boy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797196 Tue, 21 May 2013 08:51:23 +0000 Pink Champagne 797196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't get the people who think grandparents are "retired" from watching children and wouldn't want to babysit for their grand kids. My MIL watches my LO 1-2 days a week. She lives and breathes for it. Same with my friend's mom who watches her son every day. Same with my other friend's mom. MY mom lives two hours away, but will drive over to babysit for the day if we need someone. She loves my LO and never feels like she gets enough time with him.<br /> Grandparents WANT that time with their grand kids. Plus, think about how wonderful it is to be around a little one- I'm sure they miss that feeling too of watching a little one grow and discover.<br /> Plus, I love the money we save. Everyone wins!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797189 Tue, 21 May 2013 08:48:54 +0000 Cherrybee 797189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mum has made it clear that she doesn't want to look after our LO - she says she's "too old" (she's 63) to look after kids. She wants to see her - but only if we bring her to my mum's house and stay while they spend time together. </p> <p>My MIL on the other hand has offered to have her two days per week when I go back to work - which will save us quite a bit of money on daycare. she may well offer to have her more but she was scared of "stepping on my mum's toes" - she was really surprised when we said that my mum didn't want to have her regularly. Horses for courses I guess. </p> <p>Fortunately, I'd trust both of them to follow our guidelines etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797181 Tue, 21 May 2013 08:44:55 +0000 honeybear 797181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: I plan on being one of the grandmothers you describe. I really hope I get the chance to be a grandma and take care of my grandchildren regularly! I plan to move wherever my son and his future family are so we can be around to help. (But I promise I will give my son and future daughter-in-law plenty of space if they want it!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797176 Tue, 21 May 2013 08:41:53 +0000 Crisark 797176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep! My inlaws came out of nowhere and offered this so DH wouldn't need to quit his job to be a SAHD. Care will be between my inlaws, my DH and my mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797156 Tue, 21 May 2013 08:30:22 +0000 littlek 797156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: True in some cultures. In reality, my parents live 8 hours away, so this is not even a conversation DH and I will ever have. DH's mom lives 9 hours away and is very irresponsible and DH's dad is an absentee dad who can't even bother to return his son's phone calls, much less watch our son. If my parents lived closer, I'm sure they would love to watch LO from time to time but I would still keep LO in daycare because I like the structure and I know taking care of a young child is hard and my parents are just now finally retiring and I want them to enjoy their retirement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797130 Tue, 21 May 2013 08:09:31 +0000 blackbird 797130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL would LOVE to watch her. She offered up Fridays but DH and I can't bring her over as early as we need to (7 is too early), plus it's an hour round trip out of our way! We wanted her to watch E every Tuesday late afternoon but she gets off too late. Can't win! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797122 Tue, 21 May 2013 08:05:59 +0000 Bookish 797122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way, my MIL/FIL will never watch LO, even if they lived next door! They are chain smokers and alcoholics, and there is no way in heck I'd ever let LO spend any time there unsupervised. They are sweet people, but I honestly don't trust them to a) set a good example and b) not smoke directly at LO. Sucks! My BIL/SIL, however, do live about 15 mins away, and they are welcome to watch her anytime! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797118 Tue, 21 May 2013 08:04:19 +0000 Honeybee 797118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well we don't live close enough for this to be an option. My husband and I always said we wouldn't put that amount of work on our parents, but we have asked them to watch the kids regularly for a certain time period (while transitioning childcare, moving, etc...) and it was really nice for everyone. So I think we would do that again, for a limited time, if the occasion arose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797112 Tue, 21 May 2013 08:02:13 +0000 winniebee 797112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL is great. I wouldn't hesitate to ask her, but she's an hour away and I didn't want to ask her to do it regularly because she has a dog and I don't think she wanted the commitment when T was so young and needy. She fills in for my mom (who watches T every Tuesday) when my mom has a conflict. When T is older, I can totally see her taking him after pre-school or whatever for the rest of the afternoon. She's also watched him overnight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797106 Tue, 21 May 2013 08:00:40 +0000 mediagirl 797106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If his parents lived near us, we would have asked his mom to watch our lo for a year. After their last visit, though I see they're getting old and don't think that would be that great of an idea anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797101 Tue, 21 May 2013 07:58:34 +0000 GrapeCrush 797101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my mom watches DS once a week, and MIL once every other week. the grandparents(either my mom, or his parents) are usually our first go to for babysitting, when we need one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797018 Tue, 21 May 2013 07:15:01 +0000 heffalump 797018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well.... I'm a SAHM so I don't really need them to watch LO. We do see them a lot and they will babysit for us as needed. </p> <p>My mom actually watches my niece full time, so while I know she'd also like to spend a lot of time with LO she just doesn't have the time. We do go out with them often though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-797015 Tue, 21 May 2013 07:12:07 +0000 ValentineMommy 797015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hell to the no on the ILs. BUT, my parents watch him 3x a week. Thats fine by both of us :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-795140 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:31:33 +0000 mrsjyw 795140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. maybe when he's older and even then i worry about the junk FIL would give him. but right now, they don't know much about his infant schedule/needs unless we are around and even then they can't wait to wake him up... :T </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-795129 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:30:09 +0000 yin 795129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't trust my own parents watching LO but would trust my FIL. Since I'm pregnant, he plans on taking LO for the day on his days off to give me a break. Notice how I said FIL and not MIL... she is crazy and would spend all day watching dramas and making LO watch his own shows on the iPad (yes, this has happened). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-795128 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:29:49 +0000 hilsy85 795128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL does watch LO one day a week while I work...she looooooves it and I think it's good for her to have some time with him on a regular basis! I'll be stopping work in June, however--I'm sure she'll be upset that she won't need to babysit anymore! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-795096 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:22:05 +0000 plantains 795096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If they lived closer, I don't see why not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-795095 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:21:47 +0000 HabesBabe 795095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-795091 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:21:00 +0000 lemondrop 795091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, other than nobody lives close to us, my parents still work and my IL's have earned their retirement and freedom. I would never ask for care on a regular basis, but every so often I'd be fine with either set of grandparents watching him for a date night or a work meeting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-795082 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:18:56 +0000 MaisyMay 795082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL would in a heartbeat. She's actually said that she wishes she could retire and spend all day with LO, but she also lives just over an hour away. FIL doesn't work and is our absolute back-up if something comes up and DH or I couldn't take the day off. He's a bit standoff-ish but would do it if we asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-795071 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:15:11 +0000 Lozza 795071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: In lots of cultures, grandparents actually play a huge role in raising kids while the parents are working and it's totally normal. I also wouldn't want my mom to have full-time care of LO, but she's said many times that she wouldn't mind at all; when she was a kid and both her parents worked, her grandmother and great-aunt lived with them and took care of my mom and uncle, and when I was a baby, both my parents worked and my maternal grandparents had me 4 days/week and my paternal grandparents had me 1.5 days/week.<br /> I don't think it's good to EXPECT that your parents will do it (and like I said, while it's probably an option for us, we've enrolled LO in daycare and my mom just watches him when daycare is closed or he is sick or something), but I think there are plenty of grandparents who honestly welcome the chance and feel like it's a way they can continue to contribute to the family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-795028 Mon, 20 May 2013 10:00:45 +0000 Ra 795028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way! My MIL is bipolar and does not take her medication. She can be verbally abusive one day and loopy as hell the next. We don't plan to let her watch LO unsupervised. </p> <p>My mom, on the other hand, will be our full-time daycare provider. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-795019 Mon, 20 May 2013 09:57:47 +0000 autumnlove 795019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I don't think it is fair to our parents and I prefer the structure of daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-795018 Mon, 20 May 2013 09:57:19 +0000 looch 795018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally would. My MIL raised 4 children and did a great job with all of them....surprisingly, my son is super well behaved for my MIL and does things for her that he doesn't do with us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ask-your-ils-to-watch-lo-on-a-regular-basis#post-795003 Mon, 20 May 2013 09:51:29 +0000 littlek 795003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. I don't think it's fair to ask my parents or DHs parents to take care of our child. They have already raised their children, they should enjoy their retirement. :) </p>