https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 03 Aug 2026 02:38:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95616 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 19:16:22 +0000 PawPrints 95616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, my parents would be stunned if my in-laws sent them cash under any circumstances. I feel like sending cash is mainly acceptable for people to do for the generation below them; like I'd gladly accept cash from my in-laws, and my parents would accept cash from their parents and their in-laws. But it's just weird to receive cash from someone who's your peer. </p> <p>I agree it will make it worse to say anything about it; better to let it go. But they probably should have stuck to making meals or offering favors. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95550 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 16:32:44 +0000 Crisark 95550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not have been offended. It's difficult to swallow ones pride in situations like this and willingly accept a cash gift. However, the need is there for such a gift and therefore no need to feel ashamed to take it.<br /> I think it was a very thoughtful gesture. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95538 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 16:03:17 +0000 twodoghouse 95538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I could see my in-laws (well, really just my MIL) doing something like this because she is very sweet and thoughtful but also doesn't always understand how things might be perceived. I could also see my parents being a bit taken aback/offended if they were on the receiving end. I'm sure your in-laws meant well by it, but I also totally understand it being a weird thing to receive. At this point, though, I'd just accept the money, write a thank you note and move past it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95526 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 15:55:43 +0000 lemondrop 95526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is very sweet of your in-laws. I don't see it as charity, especially as someone self-employed, that can be very difficult. I would accept, send a nice thank you note, and invite them to dinner as a thank you at a later time when he is back on his feet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95509 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 15:47:03 +0000 sulli301 95509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agh, I can only imagine if someone sent my mom money...she has SO much pride :/ My MIL paid for a hotel room for her &amp; I to stay in while DH &amp; I were still engaged &amp; my mom made a big deal out of it &amp; demanded she pay for it herself. Yikes. I feel like hopefully your in-laws were meaning to just send a thoughtful gift &amp; if your dad sends it back they may find it rude &amp; make things more awkward. I would just accept it but maybe he can treat them to dinner or a gift at a later date as a "thank you" for the same amount. I hope it works out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95445 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 15:04:27 +0000 ecogirl 95445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't be offended because I would look at the intentions behind the effort. It was really very sweet of them to have such concern over his surgery and inability to take in income. Even if I got a gift of cash in the same way now when I'm very fortunate I would still accept it graciously and then use it to do something nice for them at a later date. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95397 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 14:31:57 +0000 Nskillet 95397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Alright, how much money we talkin here? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95382 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 14:23:01 +0000 heffalump 95382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it was very nice of your inlaws, but I know my parents or inlaws would never accept money from each other and they'd probably be offended if they tried.</p> <p>My in laws aren't out of work but they recently bought a gym and put a lot of money into it so they aren't doing too great financially. But they still won't even let us buy dinner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95374 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 14:18:44 +0000 Mrsbells 95374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely not be offended. They heard he would be out of work and assumed he would have less income and thought they would just be nice and send something little. If its not a lot of money then its more the thought that counts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95367 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 14:15:50 +0000 twinmama 95367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be surprised, but not offended. I'd just send a thank you note, and with mention that the cash was thoughtful and it will be helpful for grabbing takeout/groceries and other conveniences during recovery. To me, that makes it seem a little less awkward, rather than anyone presuming the money would go toward bills? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95329 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:53:16 +0000 Modern Daisy 95329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Actually it would depend on how much cash it was. Because if it is under $1K I would probably just keep it and thank them profusely and insist that be the end of it. But if it were more than that I might be inclined to actually send it back since that would seem more like a loan than a gift, no matter what they called it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95324 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:50:33 +0000 Andrea 95324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i would feel funny about receiving cash, too. but since you say it isn't a large amount, then maybe just say thank you and buy them something with the cash? lol. seems a bit silly going back and forth like that but i would feel strange just pocketing the cash. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95319 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:46:11 +0000 tequiero21 95319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i think just giving straight out cash can definitely be construed as charity case and i may have been offended. but i'd also appreciate it too. i'd send them a thank you card for thinking of me and keep the money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95318 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:46:05 +0000 banana 95318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmmm. I don't think I'd be offended. I give cash all the time in place of gifts because I think it's just so much more practical. And I've also received cash gifts as well and thought it was very nice. I would send a thank you card back and let them know how much their generous gift and thought means to me. If it's a substantial amount of money, I usually send a small gift basket along with a card.</p> <p>My mom was out of work for a while and she received tons of cards with cash. And I never thought twice about it because we'd do the same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95316 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:44:08 +0000 eeh 95316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrBee: the financial situations are relatively equal. Both middle/upper middle class couples with paid of homes and good savings. </p> <p>They knew about the surgery because we're close to both sets of parents and I was supposed to go somewhere with my mother-in-law but had to cancel because I had to be at the hospital with my dad. They know there won't be any income because they know he owns his own business and no work=no money. </p> <p>@Mrsjyw: I agree that they shouldn't make a mountain out of a mole and my dad won't say anything because he doesn't want to cause drama. I just worry there will be lingering thoughts in his mind of feeling like a charity case and some discomfort around my inlaws in the future. They absolutely meant well but I feel like there are other things they could have done. my MIL made a couple of meals when he was in the hospital which were very, very much appreciated. I think a gift card would have been fine also but receiving the cash just made my dad SUPER uncomfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95314 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:41:57 +0000 BSB 95314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I curious about how your parent's and ILs finances differ, too. Also, if there are any history about money issues. For example, how much both parents may have contributed to the wedding or down payment or other expenses. </p> <p>If your ILs have more money, than I can see why your dad would feel this way.</p> <p>I don't know if I would feel 'offended' if I were in your situation. I would be more confused on their intentions based on background and history. I would probably convince myself that their intentions were in the right place. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95305 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:35:31 +0000 mrsjyw 95305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Without knowing any details, I think your inlaws meant well and their intentions are in a good place. While I can understand how your dad feels too, I don't think it's necessary to make a mountain out of a mole. Perhaps you and DH can take the money off his hands, if it really burdens him -- and you both can thank your ILs in reply? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95304 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:35:29 +0000 mamabolt 95304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be very uncomfortable receiving unsolicited money like that. I'm sure your inlaws did it to be nice, but it would have probably been better for them to give an equivalent amount as like a gift certificate to a restaurant or something else as sort of a "get well" gift, I can understand why your dad feels like he's in a tough spot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95300 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:33:01 +0000 mrbee 95300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What are your families' respective financial situations? </p> <p>Also, how did your in laws find out about the surgery and that he wouldn't be making an income at that time? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95298 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:32:40 +0000 LuLu Mom 95298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my parent's would have been caught offguard as well and probably wouldn't have liked it. I understand your in laws had well intentions, but maybe a gift card would have been better, to the grocery store or something to show their support without looking like they were giving charity? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-be-offended-1#post-95294 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:30:19 +0000 eeh 95294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Backstory: my dad just had unplanned surgery which will require him to be off work for 6-10 weeks. He won't have any type of income during this time.</p> <p>My dad received a card in the mail today from my in-laws with cash in it. It isn't a considerable amount of cash, but it made my dad feel like a charity case and he was a bit taken back by the gesture and not sure what to do. He doesn't want to accept their money but also doesn't want to mail it back and make it even more awkward. </p> <p>My husband and I have VERY differing opinions on this matter. I'm curious to read what others think of the situation. </p>