https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 11:50:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-553285 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 02:47:22 +0000 LaineysMom 553285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MungBean: Haha.. Barred in two states. You are definitely the exception, but I would say that you are the exception in general.. not the exception to formula fed babies.. ;)</p> <p>Everyone (on Hellobee) knows that breast milk in and of itself is better for a baby than formula, but there is nothing WRONG with formula and the fact of the matter is that many formula fed babies are very healthy and successful adults. Parents need to figure out what is going to work best for them and their families.. and moms should not feel GUILTY for that choice. </p> <p>I have never once blamed my allergies and asthma on my mom for not breastfeeding me.. in fact, I (jokingly) blame my dad because his gene pool most likely gave them to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-553283 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 02:33:04 +0000 pinkcupcake 553283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LaineysMom: It's nice to meet another 'exception.' JD/MBA &amp; passing CA bar on your first try - that's pretty impressive. I passed NY on my first try and passed WA the very next year. I guess we both did pretty well for being formula fed :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-553281 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 02:23:03 +0000 LaineysMom 553281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MungBean: We sound pretty similar.. or maybe I jusy know a lot of "exceptions". </p> <p>As a formula fed alum I have a JD/MBA and passed the CA bar on the first try. One friend that I talked to tonight is a very successful lawyer and was also exclusively formula fed. </p> <p>There are so many factors that go into developing a well rounded human being and diet is just ONE of them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-553221 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 23:44:26 +0000 Pitbull Mommy 553221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know that is a real issue for some (few, but some) women. I am very sorry that you have that. I know what a joy breastfeeding has been for me (after the first few weeks!) and I know you were looking forward to it. </p> <p>Another issue that we face is the lack of donor milk. Milk banks charge INSANE prices for milk, and even then its impossible to get. There are groups that I mentioned earlier that will set you up with fellow moms who are willing to pump extra for you and your babies, but again it is not perfect.</p> <p>We just have such a far way to go. It is exhausting sometimes.</p> <p>I would imagine I would be frustrated if I wanted to breastfeed so so badly and couldn't because of a legitimate condition and then had to watch people choose not to or not be able to due to lack of support. It isn't fair for anyone.</p> <p>I think part of what made me think that people are not aware of the benefits is the cavalier way people responded to the original post by calling breast milk a "bodily fluid." Like it disgusted them. Like the nutrient rich, immune boosting, beautiful milk that feeds our sweet babies was the same thing as mucous or urine. There seems to be an "ick" factor to breast milk that I don't relate to and quite frankly find a little rude. </p> <p>I did not mean to stir up emotions for you and I am very sorry if I did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-553214 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 23:38:07 +0000 twinmama 553214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pitbull Mommy: To answer your questions, I had pretty much all the support you listed, did all the 'right' things, and still had low supply. My sister is an LC and my mom breastfed me for years. Bottom line is that my kids would have starved without supplementation. I most likely have IGT. I know for some it is definitely a matter of choice and resources but for others it is not. I probably would have let you cut off a limb a few months ago to have the ability to EBF my kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-553191 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 23:03:08 +0000 junebugmama 553191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MungBean: Yes the average point difference is 12. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-553189 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 22:59:06 +0000 Pitbull Mommy 553189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2812877/" rel="nofollow">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2812877/</a></p> <p>a good read with supporting information.</p> <p>My intention was not to make anyone feel bad. I am very sorry for having that effect. I agree that moms judging other mothers is not good and that everyone just tries their best.</p> <p>I guess what is happening for me is that I thought there was a lack of knowledge of how great breast milk really is for babies. I thought that people thought that formula was a close second (instead of donor milk being a close second and formula being a far third). It appears based on the reactions that people responding know how good breast milk is. </p> <p>I guess I just figured that if everyone knows how great breast milk is, we would all be giving it to our babies. AND if we can't give it to our babies, for COMPLETELY REASONABLE reasons, such as low supply, trouble pumping at work, difficulty latching, issues with mastitis, tongue tie, etc, then we would join together to demand education and support from each other and from those around us (husbands, grandparents, friends, employers, government, etc). </p> <p>So many of you state low supply as a reason for stopping or needing to supplement. What I wonder is where your support was? Did you have a IBCLC available to you in the hospital? Were you in contact with Le Leche League? Did you have friends/mom/aunt/grandmother who had experience and could help you? Did your pedicatrician support you? Or were you told to supplement (which decreases supply, since it is supply and demand and for the first 6 weeks baby needs total access to your breasts in order to establish a proper supply)? Were you sent home with formula? Was your baby given a pacifier at the hospital? Was he or she given formula without your knowledge? Were you given a pump by your insurance company? Was it a hassle? Did anyone explain how to pump and create a stash? Did anyone teach you how to bottle feed a baby to mimic breastfeeding? Did your employer provide breaks for pumping? A place to keep your pump and pumped milk? A paid maternity leave? Did your government (who is outlining all the benefits of breastfeeding in the link above) provide paid maternity leave? Unpaid leave for more than a measly 3 months? </p> <p>I guess what I am saying is that I understand that there are obstacles, and it SUCKS that there are obstacles. There is a wealth of knowledge that is being lost from generation to generation as women turn to formula and the intricacies of breastfeeding are lost. It is "natural" but it is still a learned behavior, for both mothers and babies. </p> <p>I am sorry for upsetting all of you. I guess I just thought that with the knowledge of how great it is for babies we would all be banding together to be DEMANDING support from our families, employers, government, and society in general to give the best to our babies. I don't judge any of you for your choices, as I don't think it is as simple as one woman feeding one baby. I think that there are GREAT forces out there in play and that the decision to feed your baby formula or breast milk is a culmination of MANY efforts on behalf of formula companies, advertisers, the government, and society. </p> <p>I thought that people just didn't know how great breast milk actually is... and that was why we weren't fighting for our right and ability to feed our babies what they are supposed to be fed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-553181 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 22:39:29 +0000 pinkcupcake 553181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: Are there studies that have conclusively proven that formula fed babies have lower IQs than breast fed babies? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-553176 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 22:34:38 +0000 junebugmama 553176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MungBean: You may not be, however, statistics DO prove otherwise. </p> <p>There's always going to be the exception to the rule and you are it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-553167 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 22:20:36 +0000 pinkcupcake 553167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My brothers and I were all exclusively formula fed - my mom never produced milk. Both brothers are 6'2" (and we are Korean so that's super tall) and I'm 5'6". We have no allergies. I'm a lawyer, and both brothers are successful - both graduated from business school and are very successful consultants making bank. So yeah, I don't believe formula fed babies have lower IQs or are unhealthier. ( Unless of course we were meant to be rocket scientists or something instead of lawyers and consultants ;) )</p> <p>In fact, to say otherwise personally offends and makes me angry - I am not less intelligent because I wasn't breast fed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-552932 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 19:50:43 +0000 KissMeCait 552932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find the concept of using someone else's breast milk to be kind of... icky. I don't think it's something that I would give to my own child, whether from a milk bank or from someone that I know personally.</p> <p>Formula exists for a reason and I don't see why anyone would give a mother a hard time for using it. Millions of people were formula fed (me being one of them) and turned out perfectly fine. In my own personal opinion, "breast is best" only if that's what works for you. Most parents do whatever they feel is "best" for their children so implying that they're making a poor choice by opting to not give their baby breast milk, is pretty rude. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-552833 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 18:33:56 +0000 MrsTiz 552833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't buy it, no. If I couldn't breastfeed I would use formula and not feel the least bit guilt over it. Breastfeeding is actually pretty strange for my area, so like 99% of the babies around here are formula fed from birth..there is no reason to feel guilty, because your baby is still getting fed. It makes me furious that people are so rude and judgemental over those who chose who formula feed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-552820 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 18:18:26 +0000 hummusgirl 552820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: I've spent more time than I care to admit reading up on this topic, so I'm glad it was at least a little useful to someone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-552377 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 14:32:00 +0000 plantains 552377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: Nothing to add to the real discussion at hand, but have to say I loved your beakdown of reality vs the fantasy that people have constructed around the absolute importance of EBF. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-552278 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 13:49:46 +0000 hummusgirl 552278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MerryC: Yes, no one in real life has ever judged me, thank goodness. Only online. Hmmm...maybe I should back away from lurking on forums but I can't help myself! Luckily HB is super great and (mostly) supportive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-552253 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 13:38:03 +0000 twinmama 552253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: Yep, that's it. As much as I know it, I still feel like I have to explain it away to the new ped, other moms, and so on. Even though none of them are judging me! I guess that's why certain comments here end up hurting SO much, even if it's not the person's intent. Because we work so hard to keep the guilt at bay, and then something stabs the core of it. If it's any consolation, it honestly is getting better at 6 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-552243 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 13:31:32 +0000 hummusgirl 552243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MerryC: Yes, this exactly. The frustrating thing is that I KNOW it, rationally, and yet STILL can't let go of the emotional guilt, or the need to explain myself when I'm out with other moms. Baby steps... </p> <p>@laineysmom: Thanks for the support and totally agree. Mom guilt/pressure needs to go the way of the floppy disk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-552215 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 13:17:53 +0000 LaineysMom 552215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: @hummusgirl: Yay to the formula fed alums! </p> <p>I was formula fed very early on as well because I was a hungry hippo and my mom just couldn't keep up.. I DO have asthma and allergies, but they do not rule my life (and I'm pretty sure I would have had them anyways).. in fact I was a college cheerleader and taught camps during the summer, so they haven't really prevented me from doing anything. </p> <p>I'm not going to sit here and say why I turned out perfectly fine, but I will say that I would not hesitate to give my daughter formula if I needed to. I hate how this whole "Breast Milk is Best" campaign has made new mommies feel guilty.. Even if a woman can breastfeed and chooses not to, it's not the end of the world. I do not think my daughter will turn out any "better" just because she receives breast milk. No one should have to justify WHY they are feeding their children one thing over another.. Just my 2 cents. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-552189 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 13:07:06 +0000 twinmama 552189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@prettylizy: you are so absolutely sweet. thanks for making my day.</p> <p>@hummusgirl: i totally agree that if there were such startling differences between breastmilk and formula, it would be completely obvious in every day life. my understanding is that a lot of the breastfeeding benefits are also related to the parenting style and choices of those that might typically breastfeed. as you said, it comes down to the mother (or parents). there are a million things that can influence the intelligence and health of our children. sure BFing might give us a few points in the plus column if we can swing it, but so does reading tons of books to them, playing music with/for them, preparing healthy food for them, getting all of us fresh air, being present with them throughout the day, and so on and so on. while i'm sad that i was unable to EBF, I'm confident my children have a beautiful, healthy future ahead of them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-552168 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 12:54:45 +0000 hummusgirl 552168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runningelley @MerryC: The guilt is the worst, isn't it? And the worst part is, it's so unwarranted! The data just doesn't bear out that breast milk is *that* superior or formula *that* inferior that we should be emphasizing breastfeeding at all costs. The things that have helped me get over the guilt (sort of) are this article about the science: <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/the-case-against-breast-feeding/307311/" rel="nofollow">http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/the-case-against-breast-feeding/307311/</a> </p> <p>And this blog with other women's experiences: <a href="http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/</a> </p> <p>The fact is, if the difference really was that great between breastfed and formula-fed kids, it would be hard to hear but I could better understand the "lactivism" and single-minded focus on breastfeeding as the most important thing a mother can do. But it's just not. Looking at childhood obesity, for example, the biggest factor in whether a child will be obese is the weight of the mother. But you don't see billboards or people on message boards saying "Thin is best"! </p> <p>@maisymay: Thanks for your kind words and good luck with pumping! When my LO would just scream at the breast instead of latching, I pumped for a while too. I don't regret it exactly, but I do wish I'd been less focused on "must give breastmilk no matter how much time it takes away from my LO and how much stress and anxiety it causes me." When I think about how for a week when my LO was just a month old, my husband did every feed so I could pump, it makes me sad. The last straw was when I was home alone with LO, he was next to me while I pumped, and he started crying but I couldn't hold/soothe him because I was hooked up to this machine. Do the benefits of breastmilk really outweigh that? I did some research and concluded my LO would be better off if I stopped pumping and spent time holding and playing with him instead. Of course, it took me 40 minutes to get anything via the pump; would've been different if my boobs could have let down in a reasonable timeframe, but they wouldn't listen to me! </p> <p>@prettylizy: thank you! </p> <p>@mrs. wagon: My husband and I were formula fed and are now totally healthy, too. Isn't it crazy that we listen to this pressure out there in the ether and not what we know to be true from our own experiences? Madness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-552015 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 11:56:00 +0000 luckypenny 552015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@prettylizy: :) :) :) :) thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk/page/2#post-551929 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 11:23:23 +0000 mrs. wagon 551929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: thank you for listing out the info your research has provided rather than spouting "the facts"!! Myself and Wagon Sr. were both formula fed from day 1 (neither of our moms were ever able to produce milk and at the time it was thought formula was better than breastmilk) and both of us have above average IQs, fine immune system function, no childhood obesity, and I have allergies (none in childhood, all developed after I turned 21) while Wagon Sr. does not.</p> <p>I exclusively breastfed for 7 months, then formula fed (with one thawed breastmilk bottle a day) until Wagon Jr. was a year old. Then we switched to cow's milk. With LMW we are exclusively feeding pumped milk and I'm hoping to provide enough breastmilk until she transitions to cow's milk at a year old.</p> <p>If I was not able to produce breastmilk and/or nurse, I would formula feed as long as my babies were able to tolerate formula. I would only purchase breastmilk if our pediatrician told us it was our only option. In that case I would purchase from a milk bank. Then I guess I'd have to learn all about milk banks and their screening/preservation processes because I know zero about it! It would be interesting to hear from someone who actually knows about that process.</p> <p>But that's just me.</p> <p>I also provide my family with all the yummy FDA-approved foods... because I don't have the time, energy, or resources to source my own food, and I trust my government to set and enforce guidelines. If I did not, I would look for alternative food sources. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk#post-551911 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 11:15:44 +0000 prettylizy 551911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: @MerryC: @MaisyMay: @luckypenny: I just want to give you ladies a big hug!! I don't think any single person should feel guilty about feeding their babies by whatever means necessary (not necessarily how they 'choose'..... sometimes those choices are made for us!) You are all great mama's, and I think we all just need to hear that some times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk#post-551887 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 11:01:16 +0000 twinmama 551887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pitbull Mommy: Thanks for the info. I guess that would make me nervous though- there is no formal screening process, right? So I'd have to pool extra milk from a bunch of different women, and have no real way to make sure that milk is safe. I understand the intention is good, but practically, it's just concerning to me, and in the end, more concerning than giving my kids formula. Maybe that's naive. I guess part of the equation is getting better information and science out there about donating and screening donor breast milk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk#post-551885 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 11:00:27 +0000 luckypenny 551885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: thanks for that </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk#post-551877 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 10:58:03 +0000 MaisyMay 551877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: I supplement with formula, and have to pump, can't nurse. My goal is for my LO to have at least half of her intake be my pumped milk, the other half formula. I think moms have to do whatever is best for them. I know it's hard, but don't feel guilty over formula feeding. I've already told DH that I don't know how long I'll be able to keep pumping, and we're okay with switching all to formula when that happens. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk#post-551875 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 10:57:21 +0000 Foodnerd81 551875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not buy it on Craigslist. I would consider using donated milk, especially if I had a preemie, but if I just had low supply and needed to supplement, or if for some reason I couldn't BF after the first few months, I would not want to take the limited supply of donated milk from someone who needed it more than me/my baby (like a preemie in the NICU).<br /> If I had a close friend who I completely trusted who had an extra supply for some reason (like, they had a big freezer stash before realizing their baby was intolerant when they drank milk, or some similar situation) I would consider supplementing with that, I guess. I wouldn't "pay" them for it, but realizing how much work and time it takes to build up a supply, I'd probably get them a nice gift instead. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk#post-551873 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 10:57:07 +0000 Dandelion 551873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't buy it. One of my biggest reasons (besides health benefits) for choosing to breastfeed is cause its free. If I have to pay for something I'll get formula instead of giving myself a headache from trying to find the right person to get donor milk from. I've donated my milk but I don't trust others as easily. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk#post-551863 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 10:52:37 +0000 Pitbull Mommy 551863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are milk sharing websites (googles human milk for human babies or eats on feets). These websites allow mothers like you to connect to mothers in her area who have extra milk to donate. There is no cost, besides maybe paying for the storage bags if you feel so compelled. You are able to screen the person yourself, meet them, form a relationship, etc . It is worth checking out and a whole lot safer than paying for milk on Craigslist. The milk banks charge astronomical rates and you are right, it's nearly impossible for anyone except the sickest babies to get that milk. </p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-buy-breastmilk#post-551860 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 10:51:33 +0000 Mrs. Polish 551860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mr. Polish and I discussed this. A friend of my suggested using donated milk. While I feel somewhat comfortable with using milk from a trusted source, Mr. P didn't, so we declined. That being said, I would never use anything from CL. </p>