https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 08:18:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation/page/2#post-2804518 Thu, 15 Feb 2018 18:13:48 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2804518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: yes we had to buy $$$ germicidal spray and wipes and sanitized laundry and dishes and used disposable where possible and my dd only puked twice into a bucket and ds STILL got it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation/page/2#post-2804516 Thu, 15 Feb 2018 18:11:05 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2804516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: despite CONSTANT sanitizing and separating for days my son got my daughters stomach bug over a week later. I don't know if it's the same bug but I am running a fever today despite constant sanitizing hand washing and wearing gloves (we've gone through 100s of pairs)... and now we wait to see if the newborn gets it. I seriously can't deal with vomit for the most part. It brings on bad anxiety. So I don't know if I would have generally cancelled but this week I feel like I would have. 😩 Edit: I think I wouldn't usually cancel but I don't think I could be mad at someone who did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation/page/2#post-2804514 Thu, 15 Feb 2018 18:07:35 +0000 meganmp 2804514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not have cancelled, and if I am being honest I would have been annoyed at someone who cancelled on me since it is hard for me to schedule time with my friends, and cancelling negates all of that work. I am also the least germ-a-phobic person ever, so take that with a grain of salt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation/page/2#post-2804372 Thu, 15 Feb 2018 08:42:14 +0000 oldsoulmama 2804372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: I know it’s upsetting, but I’m with her, I would have cancelled. It is not unusual for the virus to transfer after days of no infection so I think she is doing the right thing, especially if she has little ones at home. If your son had norovirus, that one is crazy contagious and very difficult to get rid of. Having been infected in the past and caring for 2 young children, one of whom was also vomiting, was awful and I will avoid it as much as I can. It was so bad that it made me a germophobe. This makes us hermits during the winter but I’d rather be this way than be that sick again. I’m sorry, I can imagine how disappointing it is but I credit her for being honest with you rather than coming up with some lame excuse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation/page/2#post-2804368 Thu, 15 Feb 2018 07:55:55 +0000 Modern Daisy 2804368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just canceled on my friend for the exact same reason, so yes I absolutely would have. While it is a little safer at a restaurant without your kids present it’s just not worth the risk ultimately. The stomach bug is super contagious and we’ve gotten hit hard with it two years ina row now. Just when you think it hasn’t spread bam you’re throwing up. Hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes are completely ineffective and we even took the extra step of keeping our boys totally separate and it did nothing. This year we contracted it from my friend who had been symptom free for 3 days so everyone thought it would be fine. Now if someone gives me a heads up that their kids have the flu or stomach bug I take the initiative and reschedule any plans. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation/page/2#post-2804330 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 20:38:25 +0000 cake2017 2804330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I would have canceled! I hope you can reschedule! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation/page/2#post-2804303 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 18:54:42 +0000 Nutella 2804303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last winter when LO was a newborn I did this to a friend with a sick toddler. My friend said her kid had been having an upset stomach for days &amp; I didn’t think twice about rescheduling even though I knew there would have been no physical contact. I have a preschooler who brought back full on bugs which resulted in baby getting a nasty upper respiratory tract infection &amp; it was heartbreaking. It sounds funny but I did not even think my friend would be angry, but I did have the thought that I did not care either (hormones?!) because I was purely in protective mode! Eventually caught up a month later when all the bugs were gone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation/page/2#post-2804291 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 17:33:26 +0000 youboots 2804291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not have cancelled since I am exposed to germs constantly and never know who has someone sick at home that you are in close contact with- like getting a manicure, massage or haircut. It’s hard to pick and choose what is an ok amount of risk/exposure but unless I’m pre screening everyone aggressively or not going out at all I would not cancel on a friend just because I happen to have more information. But I respect others choices to be in a situation/environment they are comfortable in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation/page/2#post-2804284 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 16:49:15 +0000 psw27 2804284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not have cancelled but I am also not super germ-phobic. I have 2 kids at home, live in a major city, take public transport and Ubers. Germs are everywhere. All I can do is wash my hands, hand sanitize and hope for the best. I can't live in a vacuum. </p> <p>I would be disappointed but I wouldn't be upset with her either. Everyone has to make their own choices. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation/page/2#post-2804275 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 16:12:27 +0000 JLC53 2804275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Me personally, I would not have cancelled. I don't put myself in a bubble when people are sick. I also wouldn't hold it against the person that cancels. I understand your frustration though. I have a friend that has cancelled several times on me days in advance because she is sick. I am like, really, we don't have plans for 5 more days, why cancel now...?? It always leaves me disappointed, so I understand where you are coming from. I will never hold it against my friend though and will always reschedule even when I am disappointed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation/page/2#post-2804273 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 16:06:44 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2804273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, I would have cancelled with a baby the young at home. If I’m being honest I would cancel just not to rush it for myself or DH. Being sick sucks. With my friend group germs would definitely spread. we hug and kiss and usually split an appetizer. Millionaire’s Bacon 🥓 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804265 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 15:42:18 +0000 birdofafeather 2804265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i wouldn't have canceled as either party since you were meeting without children and at a restaurant where neither or you were preparing food! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804262 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 15:13:09 +0000 justjules 2804262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don’t know if I would have canceled or not but I defientely would not be upset if someone canceled in this situation. People have a right to do what’s best for their family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804261 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 15:03:26 +0000 babybunnylove 2804261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: unfortunately yes. My father in law got deathly ill (for three months and daily iv treatments) because a friend came over to visit him and his friends wife was home sick with a stomach bug. It really can be that dangerous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804260 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 15:00:21 +0000 peachykeen 2804260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I probably would have rescheduled in her shoes, but only because if it's norovirus it can stick around a really long time (and you can get it again). Plus I know despite all my best intentions, I do probably get ALL my kids germs whether I actually get sick or not (I rarely do).</p> <p>That said, I definitely understand your frustration at the last minute flip-flop! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804253 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 14:43:22 +0000 KT326 2804253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: I personally wouldn't cancel but I have a friend that would. It is disappointing but hopefully you guys can reschedule soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804252 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 14:41:36 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2804252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While I understand where you're coming from, if she's a first time mom with a 3 month old at home, it's understandable that she would want to cancel.</p> <p>The flu this year is spreading like wildfire. I've recently heard that it can be spread just by breathing the same air as someone who has it. My LO is home with me now with Flu A, and his whole class went down like flies. </p> <p>After a stomach bug, you're contagious for 2 days after symptoms have subsided. You could also be in an incubation period (and hence, pass it to someone else) for up to a week prior to actually presenting symptoms. With all of that said, I think she was being overly cautious, but you certainly could be a carrier, who would then make her a carrier for her 3-month old to get the stomach bug. I know you wanted to see her, and it's hard to reschedule, but people going out before they're not contagious is exactly how bugs and the flu spreads so quickly and so rampantly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804249 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 14:38:57 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2804249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I probably wouldn't have cancelled - but joked to my friend not to touch me, haha. </p> <p>A couple friends I know would have for sure cancelled. My one friend is a huge germaphobe and would be freaked out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804240 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 14:07:35 +0000 PinkElephant 2804240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have cancelled if I were her....and I would have cancelled if I were you, too (and one of my kids had been sick so recently). Sorry - I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear. But you did the right thing by telling her, and she made what I think is a very understandable choice to steer clear.</p> <p>Just to illustrate how these things can go....over Christmas, my 15 month old showed a few signs of a stomach bug on a Tuesday night, but never REALLy got sick. On Wednesday afternoon, my three year old got it big time. We thought the rest of us were in the clear by Saturday night..but then the five year old started throwing up, followed shortly by me and my husband. Germs can definitely hang around longer than we think.</p> <p>It's a bummer, but we've cancelled (or had others cancel) SO many playdates, dinner dates, parties, etc. this winter. Things will be better when it gets warmer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804236 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 13:48:34 +0000 MrsBucky 2804236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not exactly the same situation, but this past Christmas, I cancelled on having a friend and her family over to our home who I hadn't seen in over a year because her daughter had been puking earlier in the week. We were traveling to see family two days later, and the last two major holidays we've spent with my extended family (over two years) have been ruined by a stomach virus, and I just couldn't risk doing that a third time. I felt really badly about it, but stomach viruses are SO much worse than colds. Could we have picked up the same thing on the plane? Yup. But it's also a known v. a maybe with a nice to have v. non negotiable. I'm not sure I would have cancelled in this particular situation (no kids, in a public place, we could just agree not to touch, I can be vigilant about washing hands), but I also don't currently have a newborn or infant at home. Besides feeling disappointed, are you feeling annoyed and trying to figure out whether that feeling is justified? In the end, I get it- it's hard to be in this season where the best laid plans (which are SO hard to make sometimes) can be ruined through no one's fault, and when it can be so darn tough to reschedule. But I try to remember that it won't always be this way, and extending grace/benefit of the doubt to my friends (even when they make difference decisions than I would have/ want them to) will ensure that those relationships get to the other side of this season of life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804226 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 13:38:23 +0000 agold 2804226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I had a tiny baby at home (or even still, with my 17 month old), I may cancel. The flu that is going around is scary and I really don't want to be around anyone who could possibly be sick. Even though you aren't sick today, you would be contagious right now (I think) if you do have the virus and it shows up in you tomorrow. Anyhow.. bummer about your cancelled plans. But I wouldn't be upset, though. Hope you can reschedule! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804222 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 13:36:20 +0000 cat620 2804222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the responses. I think it's hard for me to see her point of view, because we were meeting in a public restaurant just her and I. I'm not sick, and I don't have any symptoms of being sick. My son is better now and is running around the house singing, so I think if I were going to get sick, I would have showed a symptom by now. Also, even if I somehow could pass the virus through me, I don't know how that would happen with us sitting at opposite ends of a table not touching each other. Anyway, I get it that moms of babies have to be extra cautious, but I can't help feeling bummed about the situation. It's hard to reschedule, because we both have limited free time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804220 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 13:32:06 +0000 Canoli 2804220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: @babybunnylove: yes this is my thought too. I would be bummed too because it sounds like you were looking forward to this. I work in a hospital and have 3 kids in daycare and am in public regularly so yes i’m exposed to germs everywhere but if I can avoid people that I know are sick than I do. We had a very bad case of the stomach bug go through our house last year and honestly i’m still scarred by it. I know dramatic but it was just bad for my family. I agree with others I am on very high alert with this bad flu and other virus season. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804216 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 13:16:47 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2804216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't have cancelled but I can understand being more cautious with the flu and all the illness going around. I am someone that sticks to plans and am always disappointed when others have to cancel so I know the feeling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804211 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 13:01:35 +0000 smuckers 2804211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It totally sucks that your friend canceled on you, and I hope you can reschedule. But based on your responses, I think you're being a little too hard on her. </p> <p>As others have said, this is an intense flu season; I likely would have canceled as well in this situation. Not because of YOU, per-say, but because *I* wouldn't want to take the risk of getting sick/getting my kid sick.</p> <p>Does this friend do this kind of thing all the time? If so, that's a horse of a different color. Chronic cancellations of plans is something that can be SUPER annoying (DH has friends that will only follow through with plans about 40-50% of the time once their made, it drives me insane). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804210 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 13:00:35 +0000 babypugs 2804210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not, because I would presume that I'm more likely to catch a bug pushing a shopping cart than I would be across the table from a cautious friend. But I would also understand--sicknesses suck, particularly with little babies. Everyone has a different comfort level (reasonable or not). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804206 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 12:55:49 +0000 Purpledaisy 2804206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I wouldn't have cancelled. I mean, is she going to avoid going to Target or the grocery store too? Anywhere she goes in public is probably going to have someone that is/has been sick and might be contagious. I think it was overly cautious. </p> <p>BUT maybe she just didn't feel like going and used that as an excuse? I know that I have done the same. Especially with having young children sometimes I'm just burned out or am not up for socializing. It happens. I'm sorry you're bummed though, I definitely have been there. It sucks when you were looking forward to something and it's cancelled :sad: . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804205 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 12:55:48 +0000 avivoca 2804205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have cancelled because you could be carrying it and not know it yet. However, I would have tried to reschedule if it were me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804192 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 12:39:50 +0000 Littlebit7 2804192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m not surprised she cancelled. I think a lot of people are on guard because of this particularly nasty cold and flu season. People are dying (not of a stomach bug but you know what I mean). Things one might have said yes to last year they say no to this year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-cancel-in-this-situation#post-2804176 Wed, 14 Feb 2018 11:43:31 +0000 Mama Bird 2804176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since you wouldn't even be in your house, I wouldn't cancel. But I wouldn't think much if a new mom is being over-cautious. Especially as she might be less than rational at the moment due to lack of sleep, nursing issues, upcoming return to work, or any number of things I've no idea about :silly: </p>