https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 16:21:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220830 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 15:33:18 +0000 mrskc 220830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents did this and still do. My stepdad works in LA during the week and drives 2 hours home every weekend. It seems to work for them, and I think they cherish their time together. My mom says it also helps with communication b/c you can only talk on the phone during the week. You're forced to talk to each other that way! I don't know how my mom dealt with being a single parent to four of us during the week though. I don't think I could do it indefinitely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220774 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 15:04:55 +0000 LuLu Mom 220774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it were indefinitely then I would move to be with him. I wouldn't like to be apart that often, especially with young children who need their daddy. I grew up with a dad who worked nights, and it sucked not seeing him until the weekends when we were in school, it was his biggest regret and one he still talks about since he missed out on so much of us growing up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220686 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 14:12:25 +0000 Mrsbells 220686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No I think long distance puts too much strain on the marriage. People make it work but its not for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220661 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 13:51:15 +0000 Honeybee 220661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We would like to relocate in the next few years, and DH and I have agreed that if we needed to we could live like this (DH coming home on the weekends only) for a few months. I don't think I could do it indefinitely, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220634 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 13:31:19 +0000 birdofafeather 220634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i am doing it for about 9 months while DH goes to school 3 hours away. he'll be up there M-F to focus on school and then home on the weekends. there is NO way i could do it indefinitely though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220597 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 13:12:34 +0000 Rescuemom10 220597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up with primarily seeing my dad on the weekends. It stunk I guess but its what my parents had to do. I dont think it was that bad. Then again I am married the to the Military and was prior Military myself so being away just is "life" to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220549 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 12:52:40 +0000 littlebug 220549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't be able to do it indefinitely, no. Cherry Hill is RIGHT across the bridge from Philly, and there is SO MUCH to do here! Tons of kid-friendly things, plus amazing restaurants and bars. NYC is only a 1.5 hour drive, or a super-quick train ride. You're like 1.5 hours from the beach, 2 hours from Baltimore...it's a great location! </p> <p>Have I sold you yet???? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220519 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 12:44:03 +0000 bienlivingdesign 220519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a number of friends who are in relationships where one of them is gone Monday-Thursday/Friday (consultants, etc) and they work it out just fine. I think it's a personal decision! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220518 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 12:43:54 +0000 Mrs. Pen 220518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsdaredevil: haha same here!!! I have such a hard time when he leaves for work in the morning - and and three nights a week he teaches evening classes, and I tend to get very depressed when he's not home in the evenings...</p> <p>Since you have the option to move WITH him - I would totally do it!! I am always up for an adventure. It'd be a good opportunity to experience a few new places- spend some time taking your daughter to some places she'd otherwise maybe never see. 2 hours isn't that far from NY - you can do to the Bronx zoo, visit Boston or Cape Cod one weekend, Philly the next. It's close to SO MUCH!!!</p> <p>I would totally do it if my hubby had that opportunity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220496 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 12:36:09 +0000 SugarplumsMom 220496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I couldn't do it, even if it was just temporary, even if it was just for a month I couldn't do it. With the baby here I need DH there for us more than ever. I know of some ppl that make it work, but for us, it's just not worth the sacrifice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220420 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 12:01:00 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 220420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I couldn't do it. But DH and I are used to spending every waking moment together (literally) and we both would get separation anxiety. Unlike other couples, we aren't really super independent of each other and we don't have much "alone" time. We do everything together... I couldn't function with him gone! Props to those who can do it though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220363 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 11:38:14 +0000 heffalump 220363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe before I had a LO, but now no way. I want him to be a big part of her life, and I want help with her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220226 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 10:30:55 +0000 Alivoo01 220226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Indefinitely?! Yikes!! A couple days a week, sure, but not M-F! That's rough. Unless you move with him, that's a different story. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220117 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 09:49:02 +0000 sulli301 220117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it would be a hard adjustment, but absolutely doable! I also can see how it could bring you all closer when you were together :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220109 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 09:46:13 +0000 MrsTiz 220109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I could, i'd miss him like crazy but I think I wouldn't lose my mind if I were alone for a little while, I like my alone time and I think it would make DH and I's time together sweeter.. Look at military wives, they do this all the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220091 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 09:39:50 +0000 BSB 220091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I could. Maybe try it out for 1 or 2 months and see how it goes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-220006 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 09:04:35 +0000 PrincessBaby 220006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I have a different perspective, because my husband works offshore, and so he is gone a lot. </p> <p>If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would get married and only see my husband half the year, I would think that would never happen!</p> <p>DH works offshore on an oil rig. He is second in command to the Captain, and will be a Captain himself within the next year and half or so. He has nothing to do with the drilling or oil. He is strictly in charge of the movement of the rig, as it is basically a very large boat. He is gone for 3 weeks, and home for 3 weeks.</p> <p>Financially, this means huge things for us. I still work, simply because I'm in medical device sales and my job - while difficult and competitive - is pretty cush and I make good money and get a lot of perks like a free company car. BUT, if Harper gets here and I can't handle everything on my own, we will still live very comfortably on just his income. So I think that you have to consider HOW GREATLY it will impact your financial situation. Is it enough to give it a try? I grew up in a household that always struggled financially, and I have come to appreciate, without hopefully sounding like a spoiled brat, that living with absolutely no money worries and pretty much being able to do what we/I want is MUCH nicer than having to worry all the time and be deprived.</p> <p>Secondly, we are ALWAYS on a honeymoon when DH is home. No one can really understand a married life with so much time apart until they have done it (I certainly couldn't!), but we are so grateful and so appreciative of every second together....We truly cherish it. And our friends that are together every day - they don't get that every day honeymoon that we have. They get in a routine, and maybe get "used" to each other. Every time DH comes home, we are just GIDDY for the entire time he's home. </p> <p>It was a very tough adjustment at first. This started about 1 year into our relationship. But this is our normal now, and I have come to appreciate time to myself to get to the gym/yoga, do decorating projects in the house, get my hair and nails done, and quite honestly - I go shopping a lot for the baby and myself now that I need maternity clothes. The time actually flies. And then DH comes home and his house is perfect and his wife is well-groomed and well-dressed and we have a blissful little perfect life for the time that he is home. When he leaves again, the cycle starts over:)</p> <p>So I think that anything is do-able. It just depends on if it will impact you financially enough to try it. You can make it work if it can, and what is not normal to a lot of people, can end up being your normal and can make you perfectly happy:)</p> <p>Just my two cents;)</p> <p>ETA: This has been our schedule for the past 4 years, and will continue to be so. He will always drive boats, and there is no boat-driving job with his caliber license that operates 8-5. Right now, another option would be for him to drive cruise-ships, but that schedule is not set, so at least we know his schedule (as you would) and that makes it a LOT easier! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-219910 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 08:19:57 +0000 mrsjyw 219910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like a great oppty, but I couldn't do it indefinitely. I could def do it with a length of time associated with it, but not potentially "forever." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-219905 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 08:16:56 +0000 looch 219905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I might, but only without children. You can't get that time back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage/page/2#post-219896 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 08:10:55 +0000 Minnie_Girl 219896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Indefinitely? Heck no. Our family is more important than work, so we'd have to find a way to stay together. I'd not leave DH's side for long, children or not. I'd be miserable without him! </p> <p>*tiny digital crowd cheers "USA! USA!" to @Rubies* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage#post-219893 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 08:01:25 +0000 Grace 219893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way. I've got a friend whose husband took a job a 2.5 hr plane ride away. She sees him for a long weekend ever 2-3 weeks and they've had a son since then. My friend is essentially a single mom and her husband is like the cool uncle that comes to visit. Not a life I would ever choose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage#post-219744 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 00:02:05 +0000 mediagirl 219744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: @Rubies but it's right by Philly! That's a great area! You're near Philly, Baltimore, NYC, etc! Move here!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage#post-219741 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 23:59:49 +0000 mrbee 219741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: Do it!!!!! I'm not biased at all, I swear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage#post-219739 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 23:57:13 +0000 mediagirl 219739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: this is how I grew up. We lived in MD, my Dad worked in New Jersey. When he got transfered, my parents discussed it and my mom did not want to raise us in New Jersey. So, Sunday night Dad would drive to NJ, Friday he would drive home. He still coached our little League trams and was a big part of our lives. </p> <p>I'm sure it was hard on mom essentially being a single parent all week but we made it work. If it's what's best for your family I say do it. They made it work and are still together. 39 years now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage#post-219693 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 23:00:41 +0000 matador84 219693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am in one! Not sure how temporary it is though...ugh! DH has worked and lived 80 miles away for almost 2 years now! We have been married for almost 3 and dated for almost 10! It has worked for us. I think it just depends on the kind of lifestyle you have. I am really into my career and so is he and I'm also extremely independent, so that keeps us busy. Weekends are so precious to us though! It will be a HUGE change when LO arrives soon! Scary thinking about being a single mom during the week, but I have a great support system of friends.</p> <p>Obviously, we can't do this forever, but for now-it works. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage#post-219656 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 22:29:20 +0000 yin 219656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: Cherry Hill is only an hour away from me! Philly is right over the bridge too! *squeals* It would be so much fun if you moved down here. </p> <p>Personally I think moving for a year or two would be a great experience for the family, but I would want to be able to move back. I would miss home too much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage#post-219651 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 22:20:16 +0000 Mrs. Blue 219651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We almost had to this for the first year of our marriage! Thankfully, I got a job and moved, but that was what we were preparing for since we lived 6 hours apart and both had jobs with time commitments. We felt like we could do it temporarily, but that we wanted a firm end date so we knew it wouldn't just go on forever. Long distance is no fun, but it made us extra good communicators since phone calls were all we had. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage#post-219555 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 21:02:09 +0000 ModernDayJibarita 219555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be okay with it. My husband works for an engineering consulting firm so he will probably be traveling for most part of his career. If the project is out of town he travels Mon-Thurs and had Friday off. Once we have children he'll most likely dedicate his day off to caring/bonding/playing with our child. That way he gets quality Child-Daddy time, probably even more than what the child would get from 5pm to bedtime on a weekday with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage#post-219499 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 20:51:14 +0000 MamaMoose 219499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. Not once there is a child in the picture. It's not fair to you to be a single parent most of the week and it's not fair to your hubs and daughter to be apart so much. I say move to Jersey! Cherry Hill is lovely!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-a-temporary-long-distance-marriage#post-219471 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 20:46:03 +0000 Mrs. Stroller 219471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, no problem! My dad worked in Boston and came home to Maine on the weekend for nearly my entire childhood. It made our entire family much closer. </p>