https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 06:39:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2646486 Wed, 02 Nov 2016 01:53:54 +0000 808love 2646486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I started kinder when I was 4 and a few days later turned 5. The teacher suggested holding me back because I was socially immature. (I just happened to be terrified of her because of an early incident/misunderstanding and barely said a peep all year.) Anyway, I was reading well before kinder and my mom advocated for me to be promoted despite the teacher's input, my age and tiny stature. I was glad mom knew best in my situation and I turned out to be ahead of peers throughout elem. Although I was still somewhat immature (I prefer sheltered or innocent) for my age, it didn't affect my academics. So best wishes for all the mamas who are going to take everything into consideration for your child's academic growth and make the best decision for your child's development. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2646470 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 22:59:51 +0000 jmarionsmith 2646470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonJack: gahhhhh. It's so hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2646443 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 20:26:20 +0000 JennyD 2646443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here the trend seems to be putting kids in school as early as possible. This may be because most of my friends are full time WOHMs. </p> <p>So DD (born Jan 2012) could have started kindergarten in September, with 2 of her friends, born the same month. We chose not to send her this year. </p> <p>My mom started my littler sister at 4 (turning 5 at the end of February) and it was such a mess. The issues didn't become apparent until around grade 5-6. And then it was very difficult to correct. </p> <p>I'm happy with our decision to let her start kindergarten next year at 5. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2645368 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 08:50:25 +0000 Worrywart 2645368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter has a late July birthday and is very small for her age and I haven't even considered holding her back for a second. She's developmentally ready and I think K will be wonderful for her next fall. She will be in a new place with all new friends but that's what school is all about. I'm excited for her and think she will thrive! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2645230 Sun, 30 Oct 2016 20:39:01 +0000 LemonJack 2645230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jmarionsmith: This sounds like my brother, although I think he was even more shy than your son. My parents opted to hold him back and never had regrets about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2645227 Sun, 30 Oct 2016 20:30:46 +0000 LemonJack 2645227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a teacher I would consider this. There really is a noticeable difference in the oldest and youngest students in a grade. I teach at the middle school level and even at that age it's often easy to pick out the youngest boys in the class (girls tend to have less issues). </p> <p>That being said, I would only do it if I felt my child needed another year to mature or gain confidence (if they were extremely shy, etc). Many young kids thrive in kindergarten, so it really depends on your child's personality. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2645002 Sat, 29 Oct 2016 20:23:15 +0000 jaguar 2645002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have the choice here - she can either go at 4 turning 5 and be the youngest in her year, or she can go at 5 turning 6 and be one of the older ones.</p> <p>Because of her speech issues, we're likely holding back - her current preschool teachers are on board with this, which is reassuring. I'm a primary teacher when not off with the kids, and I'd hate to send her 'just because' if she's not ready.. I've taught too many little kids who would have really benefited from that extra year of social skills and interactions.</p> <p>Just remember, each kid is different! xx </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644952 Sat, 29 Oct 2016 15:00:00 +0000 lawbee11 2644952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Only if her preschool teachers or pediatrician recommended it. As of right now we're planning to send her on time. Her birthday is a month before the cutoff so she'll be one of the youngest in her class. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644888 Sat, 29 Oct 2016 09:16:36 +0000 Anagram 2644888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoyfulKiwi: yes, our oldest is in the public pre-k now, 8:30-2:30. I think in K the time increases and is 8:30-3:00. But either way, she'll likely be in aftercare until 5 most days until I can go pick her up. Their aftercare seems really good--they offer violin and piano lessons, dance, gymnastics, and sports. It's still new, since she just started in Sept, and I've had some minor concerns (like the teacher sends out weekly newsletters with common misspellings, and well...that bothers me since she's a degreed professional). But overall, I've been impressed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644887 Sat, 29 Oct 2016 09:15:37 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2644887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: my dd's birthday is just after the cutoff, but next year we have the options of another year of prek or TK. Same curriculum but different setting. We are keeping her in prek because although she's at just about the top of her class academically she isn't that social and although I know she is actually making huge progress this year, we think she could get overwhelmed by TK and the "extra" year will help. Her teacher agrees. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644883 Sat, 29 Oct 2016 08:56:54 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2644883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I agree that "rigorous" learning shouldn't also mean having to "sit and get". Unfortunately, that's not often the case I've seen in many Kindergartens. It sounds like your school hopefully has a good mindset with the public EC program. Does your child attend it? How do you like it?</p> <p>@matador84: I started teaching kindergarten 10 years ago. I was lucky to be in a school that had a "whole-child" mindset, even though we were Title-1 (lots of multi-age classrooms, arts &amp; science focused, etc). We could create thematic units, have large chunks of free-choice time, had 3 recesses, and a 40-min rest time. I talked with a teacher still at that same school last summer and she says it's not the same. They did Reggio-based kindergarten for years after I left but she said they can't "get away" with it now because of the common-core/testing pressures. Just 3 years ago I was at a school (teaching a different grade) where, despite knowing better, Kindergarten classrooms spent most of their day in academic tasks with time for free-choice play only on Friday if they could squeeze it in. These aren't bad teachers or bad administrators or a "bad" school. It's just the effect of pushing down standards from initiatives like common core. I feel like a teacher has to fight like hell and work 3x as hard to make play-based work in the average k classroom theses days. It's a huge bummer and a big reason why I chose to teach in a private preschool program. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644863 Sat, 29 Oct 2016 07:10:20 +0000 Shantuck 2644863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We'll have to make this call in the spring for DS. He is currently 4 and has a late June birthday in a district with a 9/1 kindergarten cutoff. He's small for his age and not the most mature but he is very verbal and his pre-k teacher told us she thought he was bright. However, he falls behind when it comes to fine motor skills. My husband was a year younger than his peers growing up (but always did well in school) and hated being the scrawny little guy. He always wished he'd been held back. My little sister shares DS's birthday and my mom made the decision to redshirt back in the 80s and my sister did well academically, in sports, etc. and never had issues being bored. I know everybody is different. This will be a difficult decision. I'm most troubled by the fact that we'd like to keep him at the same private school if we redshirt but all of the kids in his class will move up and he won't and I don't want that to be difficult for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644806 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 21:37:34 +0000 Corduroy 2644806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids are Feb and June birthdays so I don't think I'll be considering hold back. However, I am worried about LO1 handling after school care for more hours a day than she's actually in Kindergarten. I need to do more research but I picture the kids sitting in after school care for 6 hours a day and it breaks my heart. If the after school care doesn't blow my mind we'll probably do all day private kindergarten at a daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644764 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 20:14:28 +0000 matador84 2644764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoyfulKiwi: It is mind-blowing how different kinder is now than even 5 years ago. I used to think it was because I only worked in high-poverty schools so kids generally came in further behind and with more academic gaps than their peers in non-economically disadvantaged settings, but with state standards changing that isn't always the case. There is more and more pressure on teachers each year to "get kids reading" by first grade and less and less emphasis on the whole child. I have even seen this trickle down into pre-K. If pre-K teachers are incorporating kitchen centers, art centers, or play-based centers it can be seen as "weak teaching," or not "rigorous" enough.</p> <p>I can't tell you how many parents I talk to who are just having their minds blown and wishing they had put their kids in pre-K at 4 and 5 instead of putting their kids in full day kinder at 5. Our district (38 elementary schools) has only full day kinders, but different campuses have 1/2 day and full day pre-k. If it is a full day pre-K program they nap, whereas in kinder they do not. There are no play based stations. They get a 30 minute lunch and 30 minutes of recess maybe 30 minutes of music or PE and at least 5 or 6 hours of learning time depending on what time their dismissal is. Although their are 5 year olds who are just fine and successful during their kinder year, I see so many who struggle all year long especially socially to adapt to a full kinder program. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644761 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 20:08:52 +0000 Anagram 2644761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoyfulKiwi: but rigor for K age shouldn't be confused with a need to sit still and listen for long periods of the day. I think that's why parents in my district like the public EC program so much. Just from what little I've seen (LO just started in September), there isn't too much "sit and get". Not sure if there will be a dramatic change between now and K, but the curriculum is the same and it's the same school building, so I assume there will be enough scaffolding between now and K within that curriculum that all the kids are satisfactorily prepared. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644755 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 20:00:43 +0000 bushelandapeck 2644755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So interesting to read the responses. We are clearly in the minority but we are likely holding DS back from Kindergarten next year. The cut off is 8/31 and he was born 8/8. Its very common here, especially for boys, and everyone I've talked to who has done it was glad they did. I've also talked to several who did not hold and wish they had. We are considering it because DS struggles with social/emotional skills and his teachers have suggested he could benefit from the extra time to mature. He is big for his age, and likes to be the leader, so those things do give me pause as I don't want him to end up being aggressive or bullying towards younger kids. It's such a hard decision to make. I'm thankful that DD is October so we don't have to think about it for her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644752 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 19:55:13 +0000 Mae 2644752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't hold my kid back unless I had serious concerns about maturity in comparison to other same-aged peers. My mom held me back because I had an October birthday and she was worried I wasn't ready. Then I got in a lot of trouble in 1st and 2nd grade because academically I was bored so I just screwed around. They ended up skipping 3rd grade for me and going right to 4th so I'd be challenged again and then I had no issues. Being the youngest in the class never bothered me. Until I got to law school and was too young to go to the bar with my peers :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644746 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 19:46:45 +0000 jmarionsmith 2644746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh this has been on my mind nonstop lately. DS turns 5 on the cutoff date next year (Aug 31). If he'd been born just 3 MINUTES later, we wouldn't have a decision to make. I'm so stressed about it. I think he's smart enough (not advanced, but on par) and definitely big enough. But I worry so much about his social and emotional readiness. He makes friends quickly but can be super shy around his teachers. I want him to be able to speak up if he has an issue but I'm afraid he wouldn't. I also agree with a pp that being stressed can impede their learning. And another worry of mine is that being the youngest will make him much more easily influenced by others. </p> <p>DH is very much for sending him to K next year and having a year off of preschool tuition (before little sister starts in 2018) would be nice. Gah, it seriously keeps me awake at night! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644702 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 18:06:08 +0000 newlypregnantlady 2644702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is really interesting to me. My brother was Asian and young and always the smallest. He was 120lbs when he graduated high school at 17. Intellectually he was fine but I know he absolutely got bullied in middle and high school for being small. He basically looked 11 until 17 didn't look like an adult until he was 25. I've always kept this in mind. </p> <p>I'm not at this point yet, and my husband's family is super tall and I seem to make big kids so hopefully this won't be too much of an issue. It's good to read people's responses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644625 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 15:03:34 +0000 Andrea 2644625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not holding back, but we did pick a school with play based K so that should help. She makes the cut off by 1 day. :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644605 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 14:25:04 +0000 looch 2644605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: Yes, this state is one of the very few that still has this December cut off. I've met people while travelling that live in Texas, and was surprised to learn that their 6 year old would turn 7 in kindergarten, and this was not a hold back situation, it was as per the cut off!</p> <p>I don't know what the right cut off is, there has to be a line in the sand at some point, but it varies so widely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644599 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 14:21:33 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2644599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@matador84: yes! K programs are so far away from what they used to be. Even rooms that have play-based areas aren't guarenteed to utilize them. I have lots of mixed feelings about the state of public early childhood these days. </p> <p> @Anagram: I think it's less about the length of the day and more about how rigorous the classroom is/how much energy is needed to do well (listen, behave, learn, etc). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644594 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 14:16:39 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2644594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: yes I would very carefully consider it. Basing the decision on one factor isn't a good idea in my opinion. I've taught all stages of early childhood and strongly encourage parents to consider age, social &amp; emotional maturity, and academic skills, with emotional maturity the top factor. Kids can't learn well if they stressed; they are stressed more-so by kindergarten if they don't have solid emotional coping skills. I think it's much easier to overcome the "bored" issue with good teacher &amp; parent support. </p> <p>Personally, my kid makes the cutoff by 3 days. We're hoping to send him to his Montessori's Kindergarten program and then decide if he'll do K or 1st at public school. I'm grateful we have that option. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644593 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 14:15:42 +0000 irene 2644593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I see... we are Jan 2012 and in pre-k. Anyone sep 2011 would be in pre-k and sep 2010 would be in kindergarten. You are dec 2010 and in kindergarten (but in your state they would have put you guys in grade 1)? Right?</p> <p>We have Older kids in our class, the oldest one his birthday is may2011. At first DH and I were intimidated by how big he is sizewise (and feeling self conscious about DS lol) and then I saw the birthday it was may 2011. We have the special reading app our reading teacher gave us, and I saw that child's name is on it too, which means he can read. I don't know the child or the story but sometimes it makes me wonder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644581 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 13:59:24 +0000 Kemma 2644581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in New Zealand so our situation is obviously different but I am considering leaving my big girl (just turned four) at her preschool rather than starting her at legit school straight after her fifth birthday next year. </p> <p>The NZ school year runs over four terms from January to December and my daughter will barely get eight weeks of school before it finishes for the year and she's at home for 6-7 weeks. Keeping her at preschool would be so much easier for logistical purposes (no need to stress about after school and holiday care while I'm working) and realistically she'll still have to do a full first year so she's not going to miss anything from an academic point of view (and she's not legally required to start school until age six). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644575 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 13:55:26 +0000 Anagram 2644575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: They have a 1 hour nap built in, and she naps about half the time. She's in our town's "universal" pre-K, which is for both age 3 and age 4. Except it's not really universal anymore because it's so popular. I think this year, 800 kids applied, and 545 or something got in, based on a lottery system.</p> <p>They have a very scheduled day, but it's using a curriculum that seems (so far) to be appropriate for 3 year olds. They have literacy, science, and math time, but it's not worksheets or anything like that.</p> <p>Our whole district uses Tools of the Mind curriculum and so far I really like what she's been doing. <a href="http://toolsofthemind.org/learn/what-is-tools/" rel="nofollow">http://toolsofthemind.org/learn/what-is-tools/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644567 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 13:47:11 +0000 catgirl 2644567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD will be one of the oldest as is so very doubtful there would be a need to hold her back. It's also not as common for girls. If we have second I would also plan on going as scheduled unless a very valid reason presented it itself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644566 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 13:45:23 +0000 catomd00 2644566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes I would consider it for the pure purpose that I don't think kids need to be sitting in a classroom all day at that age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644563 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 13:40:48 +0000 sarac 2644563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would never. But my daughter missed her cutoff by a few weeks, and I went through a long process to get her in anyway. She's thriving, so no. I for sure don't believe in holding children back unless there is some kind of delay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-consider-holding-back-your-child-from-k/page/2#post-2644530 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 13:06:17 +0000 looch 2644530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: So, if i lived in your state, my son would be on time. I wouldn't have kept him back with a September cut off.</p> <p>My son's birthday is in December 2010, I believe he's developmentally on the same level as kids born in January 2011. January 2010, no. He's a full year younger. At this age, a year makes a difference (at least it does for my son).</p> <p>I wish the country would adopt a universal cut off. </p>