https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Jul 2026 03:49:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900227 Tue, 02 Jul 2013 05:56:14 +0000 Happygal 900227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Having never been pregnant, I'm not sure. But I would consider it for one of my sisters (I have three) and if it was their embryo. Of course, they have all gotten pregnant like *that!* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900224 Tue, 02 Jul 2013 05:50:10 +0000 GrapeCrush 900224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have fairly easy pregnancies, so, I wouldn't mind being pregnant. but, I would only be able to do it for my sister/SIL and very, very close friends. there isn't a chance I could do it for a stranger I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900223 Tue, 02 Jul 2013 05:46:20 +0000 SugarplumsMom 900223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hell no :) Sorry, but I had a hard enough time with my own pregnancy, I wouldn't be able to do it for someone else. I have absolute respect for sturrogates though! It's hard work growing a baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900218 Tue, 02 Jul 2013 05:37:03 +0000 MapleMoose 900218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Giving away the child I carried would be too much for me. Then again, seeing my loved ones try and try without success to get pregnant would be hard to witness too... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900201 Tue, 02 Jul 2013 03:32:22 +0000 loveisstrange 900201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought about it pretty seriously for a friend a couple months ago. In the end, I didn't because DH was really, really not on board. I think I could and would do it though. I wouldn't want to until we were sure we were done having kids though, in case something happened.</p> <p>As for the emotions, I talked to a lot of surrogate moms while I was trying to decide and almost all of them said that they tell themselves from the beginning that it's not their baby. They condition themselves, emotionally, to think about themselves as just a carrier, rather than the child's mother. In a lot of cases, that's true, since the child is not genetically related to the surrogate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900192 Tue, 02 Jul 2013 02:40:24 +0000 Sweet T 900192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe. I have a friend who has been trying to have a second child for several years now and has been unsuccessful. If I thought I could handle the emotions that come with surrogacy, I think I might carry a baby for her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900189 Tue, 02 Jul 2013 02:28:52 +0000 sera_87 900189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. Without a qualm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900105 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 22:40:47 +0000 wonderstruck 900105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way. I had an incredibly tough pregnancy, it was basically nine months of constant vomiting, exhaustion, and antenatal depression. I'm not sure I'm willing to go through it again for myself and DH, let alone someone else! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900103 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 22:36:18 +0000 rawrasaur 900103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would. Most likely just for close family because I think it would be too complicated otherwise - just with cost and risk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900090 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 22:16:44 +0000 Mrs. Pen 900090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FutureMrsMcK: What a heartbreaking situation. I am so sorry for your family. I totally understand and respect their decision. </p> <p>TBH I would probably adopt if I were unable to conceive naturally. Not as a last resort but because with both IVF, IUI and surrogacy, it's not even assured you will have a child. The likelihood of bringing a child home through adoption is much greater. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900082 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 22:11:01 +0000 lovehoneybee 900082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: "They adopt to the idea that it's taking fertility from God's hands and giving themselves that power (even though it's not even an assured "power")." </p> <p>Due to recurring ectopic pregnancies a SIL had to have both of her fallopian tubes removed. Her and my brother are unable to conceive naturally and would need to undergo IVF (or a surrogate, or something similar). They are very religious, and refuse to even consider any other means of conceiving their own biological child because of this exact reason. They feel it is God's will that procreation is not the path they are meant to take, and as far as I know, they are now saving up to adopt. </p> <p>(Sorry for the thread-jack tangent OP!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900074 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 22:06:12 +0000 Mrs. Pen 900074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Oh IVF is def a hot topic. They are definitely against it. They adopt to the idea that it's taking fertility from God's hands and giving themselves that power (even though it's not even an assured "power"). Of course there is also the debate of fertilized eggs being frozen or not use.</p> <p>I'm not against it personally, but I do think that each fertilized egg should be used.</p> <p>TBH I'm not sure what I would have done had I struggled with infertility. Because I know many in my family would have vehemently opposed any fertility measures.</p> <p>Now it's not something I discuss with others on a typical basis. I avoid controversy like the plague! I am okay with the fact that as a Christian I have more "liberal" views than a lot of them. I realized that everyone's journey in their faith is different and I try not to judge, but focus on what convictions God has given myself personally and try to follow the bible as best I can.</p> <p>I don't discredit them. It's hard to interpret the bible in our modern culture. Birth control is never addressed outright in the bible since it wasn't what it is now. Hope that helps a little. We can continue this discussion on our walls if you would like :)</p> <p>Anyhow - I'm very sorry to OP to thread jack here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900070 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 22:03:29 +0000 MamaMagpie 900070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't imagine the complicated emotions that would go along with handing the baby over! That would definitely be the hardest part for me...I wonder if because you know going into it that it won't be your baby, if that somehow makes it easier? I can think of two people I would consider being a surrogate for -- my two cousins who are actually very much like sisters to me. I would add my best friend to that short list, but I know she's always talked about adoption as a primary method of becoming a parent, so I'm pretty sure she would never ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900063 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 22:00:26 +0000 MsLipGloss 900063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe if I had never had a child . . . but now that I have a LO, no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900058 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:58:14 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 900058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: then what do they think of IVF? Genuinely curious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900057 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:57:59 +0000 Mrs. Pen 900057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I don't believe so? It states in the bible that as Christians/the church we are to care for orphans and widows. I don't think that most adoptive families would say that it's a last resort to infertility. There are so many reasons a family adopts! </p> <p>I agree that the mindset boggles my mind. I grew up with a lot of extremely conservative Christians. Thankfully my faith has always been my own and not based on others, otherwise many of them would have turned me off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900054 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:55:58 +0000 blackbird 900054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For a sibling, certainly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900052 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:53:24 +0000 skibobrown 900052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe for my sister. Pregnancy was so hard on me. I'll do it one more time for myself, so that my daughter can have a sibling, but beyond that I'd be quite happy to never be pregnant again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900049 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:50:45 +0000 lovehoneybee 900049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>*Maybe* for my stepsister (whom I've known since I was 3) or my BFF, but I'd have to think very long and hard about it. Luckily my stepsister has one kid and 3 stepkids and my BFF...well, she's gay, so they already have two options! (But I'd still consider if it for some reason neither of them could carry a baby).</p> <p>ETA: And now that I think about it last time we talked about she told me they were considering a future adoption of an older child, so it might all be a moot point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900046 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:44:27 +0000 Arden 900046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: To those people believe adoption is wrong? Since it could potentially be seen as going against God's will, since He chose not to give children? Sorry, just curious. I've always wondered about the thinking behind this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900024 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:27:30 +0000 luckypenny 900024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way. Only for my sister. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900020 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:26:47 +0000 Mrs. Pen 900020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: From those that I've spoken with about it, they believe as evidenced through scripture that it is God who opens and closes the womb. And any attempt to "take control of that" is trying to "play God" by taking his power into our own hands. In the same way, many of the more conservative Christians I've known believe any form of birth control other than NFP is sinful, as is any type of fertility help. To which I keep my mouth shut. I do not believe as such. I understand why they do, but I don't believe the scripture is definitive on fertility at all. Many of these families I know who are openly opposed to BC have 6-12 children. They obviously don't understand the pain and struggle of infertility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900016 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:23:27 +0000 Boheme 900016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It would be way too hard on me. I'd be too emotionally invested to hand the baby over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-900007 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:16:45 +0000 Maysprout 900007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My neighbor the first time we were having a talk more than 'hi, how are you' was telling me about her pregnancies since I'm pregnant. For her last one she was a surrogate for her brother and SIL, at first I was just like 'wow, that's an amazing gift I'm not sure I could handle it' and then her husband started talking about how difficult emotionally it was in the days after and it was touching and obviously painful, I started ugly crying really hard. The husband felt awkward and walked away for a few minutes but the wife was like 'believe me I understand those pregnancy hormones are so strong'. So I don't think I'm emotionally strong enough to do that since I couldn't even listen about it from someone I barely knew and definitely wouldn't consider it for a stranger. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-899994 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:12:17 +0000 MrsF 899994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that I would do it for my sister (although for some reason it would feel different to do it for my brother and his wife). It's really hard for me to picture though! I felt so bonded to M while I was pregnant. I can't imagine having that experience with a baby and not being their mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-899977 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:07:10 +0000 Arden 899977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: Really? Why is that? Why do they think it's not right, I mean. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-899974 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:06:00 +0000 Weagle 899974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I ever could. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-899973 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:05:57 +0000 Mrs. Pen 899973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do it for my sisters or my best friend. I didn't mind being pregnant too much. But for some reason a lot of people within my faith don't think it's "right". I think it'd be really controversial if I did! But that wouldn't stop me if it were someone I loved and cared about.</p> <p>I know I could never do it for money for complete strangers though. That would be so awkward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-899968 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:02:54 +0000 Arden 899968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I have so much admiration and respect for women that do this, but I just couldn't do it myself. I'm not strong enough to carry a child for nine months, give birth to it, and then hand it to someone else. I just couldn't do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-ever-consider-being-a-surrogate#post-899963 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:00:35 +0000 Bao 899963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMagpie: I watched that episode today too. I would only ever do it for my siblings (actual, not in laws) so my sister or brother. They are both done having kids so good thing it didn't come down to that. </p>