https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 14:09:47 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2084677 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 11:28:48 +0000 mrscobee 2084677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@YogiRunner: I would probably not tell anything more specific to co-workers or bosses other than vague things like "when I have kids". If it continues to take more time (though hopefully not), you wouldn't want to potentially stunt your professional growth for no reason. </p> <p>My husband and I waited a long time before we started trying, and I just told my boss last Friday about my pregnancy. She knew I was married with no kids, but of childbearing age, so she wasn't very surprised at all. I think most smart people know pregnancy is a possibility without you having to tell them (if that makes you uncomfortable). I don't think it is awkward to keep people guessing. Plus, you could just be one of those people who is waiting longer to start a family, so I don't think everyone would necessarily be guessing at whether you are trying or not. I guess my point is, I personally would not feel weird not explaining things to people at work, and I would not feel weird announcing a pregnancy out of the blue when the time comes - chances are, they won't be shocked anyway. You could surely mention it if you wanted and you consider these people close friends, but I think by no means is that necessary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2084652 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 11:15:27 +0000 YogiRunner 2084652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alphagam84: good advice to just know when to be direct and stand up for yourself. Glad your DH knows how to be direct with his mom! We're still working on that :wink: </p> <p>I actually found myself spilling the beans to a total stranger in yoga today! DH and I moved from the city to a small town with great schools, and she told me that she did the same BEFORE they had their kids and it was tough. So I basically blabbed that I'm in the same boat, and that we're trying to start our family in this town full of minivans but it hasn't happened yet. Why do i tell strangers these things :silly: But it is really hard to make friends in this town without kids, so it was nice to hear someone else had gone through it!</p> <p>Not to go too far off topic, but what about coworkers/bosses? I consider my boss a friend and it's awkward that I haven't come out and said that I could be announcing a pregnancy any minute (God willing), but I feel like that's a bad move professionally (I wish it weren't, but don't want to them to think I might not be able to take on long-term projects, etc)... and it's already been a year of trying so it feels weird to just keep people guessing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2084592 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 10:46:30 +0000 alphagam84 2084592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@YogiRunner: Have you tried having your husband talk to his parents about it? My MIL got so bad that I told my husband he had to tell her to stop asking about babies and if she didn't stop asking, we wouldn't go see her anymore. My husband is her precious baby and I'm sure she couldn't stomach the thought of being cut off from seeing him. She hasn't breathed a word about us having a baby since he had that convo with her and it was almost a year ago! And she knows we'd follow through and cut off seeing her for awhile if she did bring it up. I'm also pretty forward and told her one time when she was complaining that if she wanted kids so badly she could apply to become a foster parent and have another kid in her house that way! :) Just stand up for yourself, you'll feel better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2084409 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 09:22:10 +0000 JennyG 2084409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way. My sister is the only family member that knows we're TTC and she kept saying stuff about me not being able to drink over Christmas. I finally grabbed a beer and drank it right in front of her to stop her from talking about being pregnant.</p> <p>This fall, my LO learned to say the word baby and would say it often when we FaceTimed with my dad. He finally asked if there was anything I wanted to tell him about J's new word. I just said no, but kinda makes it hard when you really want the answer to be yes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2084377 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 09:07:26 +0000 ValentineMommy 2084377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ew.</p> <p>My family found out we were trying when I told them I was pregnant lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2084337 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 08:40:33 +0000 Astro Bee 2084337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, we didn't tell our parents. Shortly after we were married we got a lot if questions, though. To waylay them, I told everyone that we were going to concentrate on us for the time being, but that we both wanted kids "later on., when we were ready."</p> <p>We were NTNP for a couple of months, but we got pregnant the same month we agreed was a good time to start TTC. So while we were married for 5 yrs, the TTC was not long and drawn out. Even if it was, however, I couldn't see myself sharing that with family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2084326 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 08:33:32 +0000 artsyfartsy 2084326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldnt sit my parents down and discuss it but when they ask I give a "we're thinking around such and such time..." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2084313 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 08:21:11 +0000 travellingbee 2084313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents know the details as do my ILs because I've had 2 miscarriages over Thanksgiving and Christmas with family around. So now they know. But I didn't plan on telling them ahead of time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2084307 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 08:14:22 +0000 Honeygold89 2084307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before I would have said no, but now since I had the ectopic in January they do know that we are going to try again when we are cleared which is April. so now they know </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2083895 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 17:21:31 +0000 mrsjyw 2083895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Um no. </p> <p>Our parents knew that we were ready for kids, but that's about it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2083894 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 17:19:48 +0000 HLK208 2083894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No no no!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2083811 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 16:30:37 +0000 Umbreon 2083811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've given a general time frame of 5 years (when it's actually in less than a year now!!) because our moms are eager to have grandchildren. But I wouldn't tell them that we were actively trying, if anything because if we could conceive right away, I don't want pity or to feel pressured. </p> <p>but also, it's no one's business! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2083700 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 15:18:21 +0000 tiramisu 2083700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: I know, right! Worse, I knew they had been trying for a couple years. :sad:<br /> The guy has no filter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2083693 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 15:11:56 +0000 snowjewelz 2083693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope! I mean I talk about age gap of #2 now with my mom but I wouldn't share more than that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2083656 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 14:52:33 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2083656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tiramisu: OMG...I can't believe your FIL said that!! People do not think before they speak. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2083618 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 14:25:13 +0000 Tanjowen 2083618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, never. I would get harassed a million times over and probably a lot of unsolicited advice that would drive me crazy! We were married 6 years before having our LO, and it did get to the point where both sets of parents asked if were trying, and DH's response became a very serious-faced, "Are you asking me if we are having sex?" Kind of funny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc/page/2#post-2083554 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 13:57:41 +0000 tiramisu 2083554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely not. Both my parents and my inlaws like to make comments. And my inlaws like to corner me with awkward questions when DH leaves the room too! Ugh. I just find their comments to be insensitive sometimes.<br /> FIL told DH's friend (after he had been married a couple years without kids), "No babies yet? You shooting blanks or something?". I was like geez that's really none of their business and what an insensitive thing to say! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2083541 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 13:52:35 +0000 mrscobee 2083541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@YogiRunner: Gosh, that stinks about this weekend. Hopefully it won't come up. I think it takes a little more age and experience to know that question shouldn't be asked, so I am always amazed when parents and grandparents ask those questions - haven't they had enough life experience to know it doesn't always happen for everyone right away? Hoping you are able to get through the weekend, and hope you get your BFP soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2083521 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 13:45:40 +0000 YogiRunner 2083521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lulu22 oh that's kind of awful. Sorry to hear that. People (family, friends) need to understand that it is an extremely personal matter and that if you push that hard, it will be awkward/disappointing for everyone if it takes longer than expected (not to be a Debbie Downer, but you just never know what people are going through so I find it rude to ask). I am dreading the trip to see DH's parents this weekend because I cannot imagine the topic of grandchildren will not come up. I can see myself just tearing up about it because we're going through an especially hard time right now. </p> <p>It's so tough to know how to answer those questions and hard to be direct w/your ILs that you wish to keep such sensitive and personal matters private until you have actual news to share. But I get it, they want grandkids. I wanted to be an Aunt so was in hindsight kind of obnoxious to my brother... they had their kid immediately but I feel so bad for ever bringing it up!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2083514 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 13:44:06 +0000 mrscobee 2083514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lulu22: Your in-laws sound like my in-laws. Put a barrier between us too, and I will never forget some of the things that were said. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2083487 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 13:17:46 +0000 lulu22 2083487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No! My in-laws used to REALLY press us about this though, "are you planning to try soon?",<br /> "no? well, do you have plans to THINK about planning to try?"<br /> They even used to corner me when DH left the room, thinking they would get more info out of me than him.<br /> NO! None of their business! In the end it created quite a lot of tension and really put up a barrier between us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2083400 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 12:38:50 +0000 MrsKoala 2083400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way. None of their business. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2083393 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 12:30:57 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2083393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. But we did talk to them after we had been TTC for a year and my DH was going to have fertility related surgery. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2083390 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 12:27:41 +0000 yoursilverlining 2083390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I can't inagine having that conversation! I do not want to know that my parents have sex, and I assume they feel the same way! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2083344 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 12:08:05 +0000 LuLu Mom 2083344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did for #1, my mom knew we were going on a trip to the Bahamas as a last hurrah before trying for kids. Just so happened that trip brought home granddaughter #4 ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2083341 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 12:06:20 +0000 JoJoGirl 2083341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes :) I'm close to my mom and she's worried about my age, and we're planning a big international family vacation for the end of the year, so I've been keeping her updated on when we are starting to TTC #2. :) I was a bit more vague about it with #1. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2083319 Tue, 24 Feb 2015 11:51:38 +0000 YogiRunner 2083319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Short answer is no, but my SIL and BIL know because we're pretty close with them, and they went through years and years of trying and losses before they were able to start a family (they now have 2 beautiful little ones). So i'm able to lean on my SIL a lot to talk through how tough it's been. They are incredibly supportive, helpful and understanding.</p> <p>But we did just move to a bigger house in the burbs so it's kind of obvious to the world. I just hope my ILs don't ask any details when we go to visit them this weekend! I think my answer will be standard "not quite yet..." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2080275 Sat, 21 Feb 2015 22:23:22 +0000 Mamasig 2080275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family knew our plans. It wasn't a secret. Start trying a few months after we got married. Got pregnant right away. Start trying for #2 when #1 was about a year old. And they know we want a 3rd not too far behind. Maybe it would have been different if we got married young. But I was in my mid 30s. Time is a ticking! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2080238 Sat, 21 Feb 2015 21:29:50 +0000 Mrs.LaFountain 2080238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had originally mentioned to them that we would start trying May 2015. But then it got moved up to just last month I told my mom withing like two weeks of keeping it a secret. My parents know, my older sister(who is super excited to unload all her babygear on me) know and so does his mom and step dad. Unless my mom told my younger sister she has no idea same for DH's sister. His father I think has a idea but i'm not sure. I can't kept stuff like this to myself lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-fill-your-parents-in-on-when-exactly-you-plan-to-start-ttc#post-2079749 Sat, 21 Feb 2015 13:48:14 +0000 lamariniere 2079749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: this!</p> <p>I don't even know why that would be anyone's business! </p>