https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 22:05:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722584 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 18:49:31 +0000 maddyz 2722584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds so nice right now. I know that before babies I might not have wanted to go on my own or feel like it's such a big deal to skip it. But now that I have two a few nights in a hotel and days by a pool sounds like magic. Go and enjoy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722552 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 16:31:03 +0000 azjax 2722552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd go on my own in this case, and hold out hope that DH is able to make it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722544 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 16:09:10 +0000 youboots 2722544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722538 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 15:57:23 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2722538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you tried calling around and seeing if you can change the flights and trip for a fee? I'd try to do that and still have DH with me before I would go alone.</p> <p>ETA I just saw your follow up. Maybe if the hotel change is cheap/free I would still hold off and go with DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722537 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 15:54:46 +0000 annem1990 2722537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: Haha yes....$200 change fee. The ticket itself only cost $215. Airlines really take you for a ride :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722536 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 15:53:25 +0000 annem1990 2722536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: I totally agree. If it were my mom, I'd be honest. They have an overly cordial relationship and don't really relate to each other on anything but a superficial level. </p> <p>@catomd00: I know! When I sort of brought it up, he said "but how would I feel if God-forbid she died or something in surgery and I wasn't there." I felt like I couldn't really argue with that :bummed: Maybe I'll have him talk to his brothers and see what they think. They'd be more honest than his parents. I've never been in this situation so I don't feel I have the right to encourage him if he's not comfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722522 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 15:28:41 +0000 catomd00 2722522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd totally go alone, but I also don't really see a reason why DH couldn't still go. It's not like there's much he can do for his mom in a 3 day period while she recovers, other than short visits. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722520 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 15:26:26 +0000 MamaG 2722520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@annem1990: changeable for a change fee, I would think.</p> <p>For what its worth, I think DH should seek his parents thoughts. My mom went through this and expressed not wanting to see any of her children. She was very specific about not wanting us around during her surgery or post surgery. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722518 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 15:25:43 +0000 travellingbee 2722518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@annem1990: Bummer :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722479 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 14:27:12 +0000 snowjewelz 2722479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would go! Hopefully it won't be perceived as a jerky move and even then, hopefully your husband can explain that the trip is completely paid for and non-refundable and that way at least not all is lost. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722467 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 14:08:18 +0000 annem1990 2722467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: Nope. Not SW. They seem to be the only one who's flexible. We usually fly out of Ohare which SW does not fly out of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722466 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 14:06:35 +0000 travellingbee 2722466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@annem1990: oh really? So nonrefundable and non-transferable? Not SW I guess. Jeesh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722457 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 13:44:55 +0000 annem1990 2722457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: The plane ticket is in my husband's name. It's non-transferable (and it appears the vast majority are). A friend's ID would not match the ticket. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722453 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 13:35:08 +0000 travellingbee 2722453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd go and would still try to bring a friend. Why would they need to buy a ticket if it is all paid for already? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722452 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 13:34:44 +0000 mrskansas 2722452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: I agree. I'd have him check with his parents before deciding not to go.</p> <p>I'd go alone and just enjoy myself as much as possible if my husband couldn't go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722451 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 13:34:16 +0000 ShootingStar 2722451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're going to be by yourself either way, I think you should still go. And if this is a planned surgery, I think your DH should skip it and go on the trip too. I'm not sure what kind of procedure she's having, by my mom has had several - both hips and both knees replaced. I have never gone home for any of them, and really I don't think my presence would have been appreciated. As others mentioned, she could be groggy and in pain, and need assistance and it may make her uncomfortable to have her grown son see her like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722450 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 13:33:57 +0000 looch 2722450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Probably not. I am too much of a guilty person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722446 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 13:32:17 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2722446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would love to say that I would go and have a great time, but I probably would skip the trip. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722443 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 13:26:10 +0000 psw27 2722443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would go! </p> <p>I feel like if DH's parents knew they would encourage him to go as well. My dad has had two fairly major surgeries (thyroid cancer and prostate cancer) and did not want me at the hospital for either. He was so groggy and out of it he would not have known we were there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722440 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 13:22:20 +0000 Jennibenni 2722440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would go, and I would bet like you said that my husband's parents would feel more comfortable with just him hanging around the hospital and not both of us, the same way many people feel about in laws and childbirth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722410 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 12:36:45 +0000 annem1990 2722410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@matador84: I know that's how I feel :bummed: DH said he is totally ok with me going, but I don't want to seem like a jerk to MIL. I do bet that if it was my mom though, she would probably be even more comfortable not having DH right after in the hospital when you're so vulnerable. Even though we are close to her, I'm not her child. Regardless, I'd want to give her time alone with her kids and husband. </p> <p> @bookwormmama: It's definitely not emergency surgery. It's so slow moving they're not rushing her into it. But she's anxious to get it over with so I wouldn't want her to delay it just for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722409 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 12:36:35 +0000 SweetiePie 2722409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Id still go by myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722408 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 12:35:25 +0000 hellobeeboston 2722408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>how far along are you?</p> <p>I'd also see if I could get a friend to go with me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722406 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 12:34:22 +0000 erinbaderin 2722406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If your husband is ok with it then yes, I'd definitely go. Lay by the pool, go to the spa, take naps in the big bed.</p> <p>But I also think that your husband might want to check with his parents how they feel. Maybe they would encourage him to go, maybe they'll want some alone time for her to recover. I assume he has a job so would he really be spending much time with her during those three days anyway? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722401 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 12:27:36 +0000 bookwormmama 2722401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you think if you mentioned your trip they could find a date that is not during your trip since they haven't picked it yet? Is it extremely urgent? I wouldn't want to discourage my DH or make him feel uncomfortable or guilty, but I wonder if his parents would be willing to pick a date that you could both be there to support them if it isn't extremely urgent.</p> <p>I guess it depends on how comfortable you are traveling alone. It would be hard to swallow the cost of the trip and not be able to enjoy it, so I guess I would go by myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722397 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 12:24:53 +0000 matador84 2722397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@annem1990: tough. In a way I'd feel really jerky going, but at the same time. I know my dh and mil would want me to go too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722390 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 12:17:21 +0000 annem1990 2722390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@matador84: I would say it's fairly major. It's to remove a Stage 1 tumor. While the doctor says it's totally curable with the just removal, she'll still be under anesthetic and in the hospital for rehab for a few days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722380 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 12:05:06 +0000 annem1990 2722380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Banana330: He has not told his mom about the trip. I'm sure she'd encourage him to go, but I'm not sure he wants to tell her. I think he feels guilty. </p> <p>I would love to ask a friend, but we won't know the date of the surgery until 2 days before we go. So I'm not going to have a friend buy a ticket and take off work with the chance DH can still go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722378 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 12:02:56 +0000 matador84 2722378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depends on the kind of surgery. Major surgery, I would stay and support DH. A more minor surgery, I would definitely go alone and enjoy it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-go-alone#post-2722366 Mon, 10 Apr 2017 11:52:45 +0000 Truth Bombs 2722366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it was crazy major surgery like a heart transplant I would stay to support my husband as he supports his parents. But if it's relatively minor, I would do what @winniebee: said and see if one of my friends could come with me. </p>