https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 17 May 2026 15:35:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-48240 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:27:20 +0000 googly-eyes 48240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I'm sort of the odd one. I THINK I would hold them back. I don't see why it would hurt them to be held back. I had a late birthday. A younger child would be less developed in middle school, which could intensify the "Am I normal?" questions. They would be the last to get a driver's license. They would be the last to turn 18 and the last to turn 21 in their senior year of college.<br /> I reserve the right to change my mind when I AM a parent though!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-48235 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:18:59 +0000 plantains 48235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't, but I do come from a culture where kids start school much earlier than in the states so I have a different outlook. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-48228 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:12:44 +0000 mrsjyw 48228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't. I (August baby) was put in first grade instead of second grade when I first came from Korea (Korea's school year starts in March and ends in Dec.) I had completed a semester of first grade in Korea and completed a full year when we first came over. While I didn't mind being the one who excelled in math and other topics, I always hated being one of the oldest. I would've much preferred being in the 2001 class, instead of 2002... that half a year always made me feel like I was a step behind those who were my age (or even younger!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-48224 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:09:36 +0000 looch 48224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends. My son also has a December birthday and I am more concerned with him being able to sit still and follow directions. Kindy is very different than what we experienced and according to my mom, who is a Kindy teacher, a lot of the kids that she's seen could benefit from having more time in preschool to develop their behavioral skills. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-46345 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:06:14 +0000 mynoahbear 46345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our LO was just born in December. I wouldn't want to hold her back a year, unless she really, really wasn't ready. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-46310 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 14:49:51 +0000 tequiero21 46310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i wouldn't want to hold my kid back. but i guess it depends on if i even have a choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-46287 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 14:29:54 +0000 ladyfingers 46287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A lot would depend on my child, if they seemed "ready" or whatever that means. But I had an August birthday, and was slightly behind all my classmates. My parents considered waiting a year -- my teachers even threatened to hold me back (haha... I had issues listening and not talking and stuff). But if that had happened, I would have been slightly ahead of everybody, and I think that would have been a detriment to me. I was ready, and I did well. But I went into a special Spanish immersion program and had to test into it, so they had a clear indication that I was ready cognitively. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45929 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 08:33:34 +0000 Mrs. Marbles 45929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting that it's different for girls. I grew up in NYC and have a December birthday and started school kindergarten earlier and never really noticed much of a difference. But I after reading about parents holding back their kids a year, I don't see why the child wouldn't benefit. I guess it really depends on the child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45922 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 08:17:26 +0000 Adira 45922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cvbee: Thanks for the clarification. Times sure have changed! When I was in school (specifically Kindergarten), it wasn't a big deal at all to repeat the grade. Lots of kids did it. It becomes more of an issue in later grades, but generally no one noticed or cared if you did Kindergarten twice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45900 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 00:11:16 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 45900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess it really depends on the child, but I would absolutely prefer not to.<br /> I was an October kid AND I skipped a grade. I graduated high school at 17 and had my Bachelor's by the time was 21. I think being younger is a lot better than being older than all the other kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45897 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 00:00:05 +0000 Laneybugsmommy 45897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was raised in Florida with a cut off date of Sept 1st and was always one of the youngest in my class. My birthday is August 7th. I had friends that moved down from NY that ended up in my grade and were slightly younger than me because of the NY cut off. All of us did well academically. My husband is originally from NY and was held back a year. His birthday is Nov and his parents held him back because they thought it would be harder for him to be one of the younger kids in his class. As a result he ended up bored in school and eventually more mature than several of his (younger) friends. Even now as an adult, many of his friends are at least a year younger and just in such a different place in their lives that it has been hard for him to form/keep lasting relationships. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45820 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 20:22:53 +0000 mrs. wagon 45820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In MA the cutoff for preschool is kinda weird... they have to be 2.9 years old by the first day of school. So RJ won't be eligible for public preschool until he's almost 4. But I'm glad about it because kids who are older in their class tend to do better. Luckily our daycare is a private preschool as well, so when RJ hits 2.9 years old, the fee goes down a bit because he goes into preschool at that point, well after the first day of school. Yay!</p> <p>If he was born before the cutoff, would I hold him back? No, I don't think I would. I'm a rule-follower. I'd only hold him back if his teachers thought it was necessary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45797 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 19:40:38 +0000 chopsuey 45797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I'd hold our LO back. Especially if I thought s/he was ready. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45779 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 19:12:53 +0000 SugarplumsMom 45779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've read not that long ago an article about children having an easier time adapting and in turn, more likely to pursue higher education based on the age they were put into pre-school. I know you're talking about kindergarten here but the article was also specific to point out that when a child is forced into a structured environment at a too early stage, they are more likely to feel stressed and not excel as well as a more developed (older) children in their classes. The key point about the article was the increased likelihood for not liking school, hence dropping out. </p> <p>I gotta find that article again and will post it when I can.</p> <p>BTW, this is similar to a study they had here in Sweden regarding children that are born during January/February. When we first started to TTC, my husband commented how a lot of Swedes thought a Jan/Feb birthday is preferred, especially for a boy because he usually is more developed and would have an easier time with sports and overall have it easier during the vital first few years of school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45775 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 19:04:49 +0000 MsMamaBear 45775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ironically, my daughter was born on Sept 1st (GA's cut off date) If she hadn't made it, I wouldn't hold her back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45767 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 18:52:51 +0000 cvbee 45767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: These days teachers are encouraged not to hold kids back. I would advise to enter late or not, but once in, I'd never encourage for the child to be held back. That's why I say, decide before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45765 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 18:50:19 +0000 cvbee 45765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been a junior kindergarten teacher 3 times. I would say to wait to decide until that time. I have seen advanced December kids and December kids who would have benefitted from holding-back. (Once they are in school it is too late because it's way weirder to move them back from their friends after they are there).<br /> I would say: see if your child knows the letters and the letter sounds. If he/she doesn't know any, hold them back. Can he/she begin to write his/her name? If not, hold back. Try out some preschool situations and see if your child is interested in following along with the group and listening to the teacher (rather than wandering off). This is also an indication, so hold them back if they aren't willing to participate in group activities.</p> <p>As a teacher, the 'December' factor is huge. We primary teachers always talk about the percentage of 'late birthday' kids in each given class and note what a difference it makes. Hey, maybe that is something to look at too: ask about the other birthday months in the class. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45742 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:53:55 +0000 Mrs.KMM 45742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Although I wanted to add - I thought that the rule in all states was that you could not enter kindergarten until you were 5? Basically, you have to turn 5 before the cutoff date for your state in order to be able to enroll. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45741 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:49:10 +0000 Mrs.KMM 45741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Where I grew up (Indiana), the cutoff was May 31st. With an April 27th birthday, I was always one of the youngest in my class and it wasn't a big deal. I also always found school to be really easy and probably would have been bored senseless if I'd been held back another year.</p> <p>I don't think I would hold my child back unless there was a very specific reason that they were not ready (not just that they would be one of the younger kids in their class). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45716 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 16:53:45 +0000 sungirl 45716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would. It always seems harder for boys to be the youngest, not for academic reasons, but social reasons. Plus I don't know if I would be comfortable with my child away at college before they turned 18. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45696 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 16:31:18 +0000 lilteacherbee 45696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: That's what I was about to say. I'm in NC too. As a teacher, honestly it depends on the child so its hard to say.</p> <p>It just changed to August 31st in the past 5 years. It used to be October 15th. I'm a September baby, so I was always one of the youngest, but I was fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45666 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:49:54 +0000 DillonLion 45666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just curious, but why do people think it is "better" for a child to be the oldest in the class? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45662 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:48:35 +0000 cyneswith 45662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@venice4504: I took it that way too. Maybe phrasing it as "if school turns out to be easy for him" would've been clearer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45633 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:18:44 +0000 prettylizy 45633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nah, I'd put them in school and let them go through with all of their peers born in the same year. BFF's DH is a December baby, and he wans't held back. He's now a very successful engineer, and never struggled in school. I think if you can, just let them go for it, kids are pretty amazing at adapting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45630 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:16:01 +0000 mamabolt 45630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a December birthday but my parents did not plan on holding me back. But then we moved to a state with a Sept. 1 cutoff right before I was to start kindergarten so I got held back. I ended up being super bored in school because I was very smart for my age, and after third grade when they switched me to Catholic school I skipped ahead a year and was much more challenged academically. Our first baby will have a June birthday so I won't have to deal with this, but if we have future children with birthdays close to the cutoff we'll evaluate them based on their emotional and intellectual maturity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45626 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:15:06 +0000 carrieknitscake 45626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My nephews are December 8th babies. They'll actually be the oldest in their class when they start kindergarten next year. My mom, a former kindergarten teacher, thinks that this is good for them because being an older boy in a classroom setting is better than a younger one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45618 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:07:25 +0000 Adira 45618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You could always try it and then have him repeat Kindergarten if necessary. My brother did it twice, so he ended up being one of the oldest in his class (instead of the youngest) and it didn't affect him at all. I would probably have him go and then work with the teachers to determine if having him repeat after is the best option or not. That way he has the opportunity to continue on if he's ready. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45567 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:21:21 +0000 DillonLion 45567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was always one of the youngest in my grade (cutoff was Sept. 1st and I was an August baby), but did well academically. I probably would have had a really hard time if I was held back because I would have been way too advanced for my grade. </p> <p>If the kid is ready emotionally and intellectually, I would never hold them back simply because of their age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45566 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:21:10 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 45566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I would. My husband was sent to Primer in between kindergarten and first grade and it wasn't really necessary for him. </p> <p>I think the cutoff here is September 1 as well. At least it was in my home state. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-hold-your-child-back-one-year-if-they-had-a-dec-birthday#post-45563 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:17:39 +0000 venice4504 45563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cyneswith- I took Mr. Bee's comment as in starting school all together, not repeating a year. Here in Washington you can't enroll your child unless they are a certain age so I don't see the issue as much. I would much rather see my son as one of the oldest in a class than quite possibly the youngest. There are some benefits in it that I have seen personally. </p>