https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 26 May 2026 00:23:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586960 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 13:24:31 +0000 KayKay 2586960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't, but neither of us have lived in our hometowns (or, really, even that close) since high school. I think, possibly ideally, we would've ended up in the city that is about 2-2.5hrs from DH's parents -- we really like the city on it's own (so similar to how you feel about DC) and it would've been conducive to seeing DH's parents often but not everyday. It didn't work out because of DH's job opportunities.</p> <p>I also know that being close to either of our parents would give us the potential to use them adhoc, but neither of our parents would be our everyday childcare or drop things whenever we need them. DH's are still working and mine snowbird to FL for months at a time. We have actually made pretty good use of just flying them to see us whenever we need help -- it does require a bit more advance planning, but at least in terms of longer (long weekend+) or overnight care, there probably hasn't been a big difference in how we live.</p> <p>We do use babysitters a lot :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586933 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 12:44:22 +0000 looch 2586933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I wouldn't move. For me, employment opportunities are the winner. If we happen to be near family great, but if not, it's how it is. </p> <p>I think it's a great idea to have parents relocate, though, if they are able to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586930 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 12:41:10 +0000 PawPrints 2586930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: Yeah, this is a good idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586928 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 12:40:32 +0000 PawPrints 2586928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is such a hugely personal decision. NJ and DC are very different places. I can say that having grown up near DC, there is no amount of money you could pay me to move to NJ! But, being close to family has a lot of advantages. I think if it were me, I'd scope out some specific areas in NJ that would be on the table and try to get a real sense of whether I could picture myself happy there. Then do the pro-con list. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586903 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 12:05:41 +0000 codeitall 2586903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Something we're grappling with in my husband's family is whether his parents should move out here. They're empty nesters and all the kids are out here (literally within a three mile radius). His dad already works remote half the time. But, they aren't particularly social people and they'd be leaving their support groups.</p> <p>When I was a kid, we convinced my grandparents to move across the country to be closer to their grandkids.</p> <p>I guess I'm saying that if you want to live close to family, but at the loss of your careers and city experience, try to convince your family to join you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586902 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 12:03:49 +0000 MrsRcCar 2586902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Family is a huge sway factor for us. If we could live near both families with good schools, good jobs we would jump on it! I miss being near family and support that we had. Right now we live away from family. DH will be done with school in about 6 months and we are looking at moving back to family when he is finished. We live in a great place now and have a lot of great options in the city we are in. However we both want to be closer to family. </p> <p>I guess what it comes down to is what you and DH really want in your heart of hearts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586901 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 12:03:16 +0000 Truth Bombs 2586901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My solution to this conversation has been to tell my parents to move to where I am. :silly: They are actually strongly considering retiring here and I hope they'll follow through. </p> <p>Given your information, I wouldn't move. If you really commit to staying where you are, and put in the effort, it's really not THAT hard to build up a support system even if you live far from family. We live a plane ride away from both sets of grandparents and while there are certainly things we miss out on, it's not enough for us to give up our jobs, our friends, and the life we've built where we live. We can afford to travel and see our parents fairly regularly, and my kids have a great relationship with all their family despite the distance. We have amazing friends here with whom we trade babysitting, and celebrate holidays, and we help each other out when kids are sick and work is busy, etc etc etc. </p> <p>Also, I picked a town in North Jersey where I have family and did a google maps to DC, it's only a 4 hour drive. You're really not far from family. They can easily come for a weekend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586900 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 12:02:15 +0000 Foodnerd81 2586900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm another one who has chosen to live farther from family than I would prefer because we like everything else here. We are about equal distance I think (I'm in the boston area with family in NJ). While being closer would be great, we just prefer living here, and the work environment is better for Dh here than it would be in NYC. I have worked hard to create a support network around here. It sucks that we have no family for babysitting and we never ever go on dates, but that's how it is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586896 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 11:52:56 +0000 PurplePeony 2586896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with everything @lamariniere: said. We're in exactly the same situation and have basically decided to accept living far from family as the price of having the life we otherwise want/need. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586894 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 11:49:14 +0000 lamariniere 2586894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's tough, but would probably stay in DC. To me, the benefit of good jobs and a city that you enjoy living in outweigh the cons. We will never live near our families because of lack of job opportunities, and in the case of my family, practically zero culture/city life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586893 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 11:43:01 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2586893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, I'm reminded of: </p> <p>The pain of the current situation must be greater than the pain of going through the change in order to make it worth it. We aren't "pained" in our current situation. We have good jobs that we like, we have friends, we own a home with good schools etc. Would being with family be nice, yes, but dealing with the work of finding new jobs in a new location would be a pain for us, let alone the cost of relocating, packing a house etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586891 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 11:41:17 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2586891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are in a similar situation. We have kinda agreed to plant roots here and casually network and keep an eye out for jobs closer to family. If the right opportunity were to come up we would consider it but we aren't searching out relocation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-1#post-2586888 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 11:36:03 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2586888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I posted earlier in the week about trying to decide about whether to buy a house in our current area (DC) or doing something else because we were/are considering moving to NJ in a few years. After talking to my husband a bit more, it came out that apparently he's actually not all that into moving to NJ (apparently he was trying to pacify my mom and her aggressive "you must move" approach by telling her that "he'd move in a second"). He's not vehemently against the idea, but he's not eager either. </p> <p>So we started making a pros/cons list and of course it's about 50/50, and thus I turn to the Bees for thoughts. </p> <p>The pros of moving are 1) being closer to both sets of grandparents and 2) good schools. This would give us personal flexibility to have more of a life as adults (we have no support system in DC at all), but also flexibility with work, because my mom can pick up our kid from school, be her "after school caretaker until we get home, etc. The areas of NJ that we would move to also have good schools and a fairly decent price point for housing. </p> <p>The pros of staying in DC is that 1) we have better job market access here (husband is in government IT, so he could make a private sector move but likes public service, and I'm in the nonprofit world), and 2) we really like the DC area for all it offers culturally/recreationally (museums, lots of cultural experiences, etc.). We can definitely get those things in NY, but it's not as easily accessible as it is in DC. </p> <p>From all other perspectives, it's pretty much a draw. There are good schools in the DC area as well, and while the pricepoint can be steeper here, the property taxes in NJ are so much higher that it'd be a wash. The commutes suck in both areas. </p> <p>Being close to family would be amazing, and is definitely a swaying factor for me, but I can also see us being more proactive about creating a support system here. Our parents are aging (husband's especially), so it'd be nice to be closer to help them out, but is it enough to make a move? I guess my gut is saying no, but I'm wondering if there's something I'm not factoring into the equation. </p>