https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 17:51:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885782 Tue, 28 May 2019 09:46:00 +0000 graceandjoy 2885782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think starting over wise for you and your kids, it's fine. Everyone will make new friends and join new tribes, even when it takes time and work :happy: </p> <p>The biggest question what you envision for the future - Raising kids, enjoying family life in your ideal city/town, vs having help and having your kids grow up with family. </p> <p>For us personally, family is the most important (and I am totally not saying it's not to you!), so where we are now, it's literally the farthest we were willing to go so that we can be under an hour from both side of families. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885764 Tue, 28 May 2019 08:12:30 +0000 Becky 2885764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: It could be a good move for my husband. He’s a financial advisor and there aren’t many people in his particular group out Saratoga way. We wouldn’t go to Lake Placid—it’s too far out of the way—but would probably settle in Ballston Spa or Malta so the COL difference would be negligible. It’s basically a lateral move for me. I love where I work now but my position is going to be eliminated in the next year. There is another potential opportunity but nothing is a guarantee. If I don’t get either of these jobs I’ll be starting over and likely doing something I don’t like for the next 5 years until I get loan forgiveness. </p> <p>Also, all the grandparents are retired. My in laws spend enough time in Florida and caring for aging parents that this is the last school year we will be using them for childcare. We do spend so much time together though. </p> <p>I’m honestly hoping that the compensation package will make the decision for us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885757 Tue, 28 May 2019 07:08:34 +0000 karenbme 2885757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think another thing to keep in mind in this process is the opportunity for future career growth. I don’t know what industries you or your husband are in, but I moved from a Chicago to northern VT to be near family, and DH and I were both lucky to find good jobs here, but I know my career track, and likely his, would have been different if we had stayed in Chicago. There’s likely a cost of living difference between Saratoga and Lake Placid, but would growth opportunities make up for it? </p> <p>I would also caution that if your parents are thinking of retiring you need to be prepared for them to leave and be ok with passing on opportunities for something that might not last much longer anyway. When we moved we were 15 minutes from my in laws, but as soon as MIL retired they moved 3 hours away and aren’t available for emergencies, etc. like we thought they would be.</p> <p>Like others have said, though, I wouldn’t worry about switching schools in elementary school, kids that age are friend magnets. It’s really like 5th grade and beyond where it gets harder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885744 Mon, 27 May 2019 17:57:51 +0000 nana87 2885744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We fully plan on moving for work opportunities, regardless of whether it means we'll be farther from family. I'm in a career (academia) where that's what you have to do, and so it's just the "normal" thing for me--it'd be totally foreign to me to get to choose where to live based on location. Right now, we're close to family some of the time--my parents split time between where we live (and my dad works now, after following a job opportunity) and where my brother's family is (where I grew up), and it's so nice to have them nearby. But eventually, unless I leave my field or get a permanent job where we are, we'll have to move. My parents also did that--I grew up in a completely different area than extended family and the truth is that you can build a community wherever you are, especially if you're in the area because you love it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885736 Mon, 27 May 2019 13:14:51 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2885736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved a 3.5 hour drive away from all family before we had kids. We missed our family. </p> <p>Then we had kids and I feel like we are missing something. My friends with local family have big family get together. We never ever do those. BUT. I wouldn’t live else where. I don’t want to move (at all!) to where our family is. </p> <p>My mom recently bought a small house here and has been coming to visit a lot and that’s been awesome. </p> <p>Basically if I could, I’d want my entire family (and in laws) to live in my town which isn’t a possibility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885734 Mon, 27 May 2019 12:01:33 +0000 DillonLion 2885734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: she's been 100% fine so far (we've been here 2 days) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885724 Mon, 27 May 2019 10:29:01 +0000 Becky 2885724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I know, I love the area and it’s literally the only place we’d consider relocating to. We live in East Aurora which is in WNY about 25 minutes SE of Buffalo. I grew up in the Catskills and I really, really miss the natural beauty and clear waters of that area and the Adirondacks. </p> <p>I am definitely leaning toward staying for the reasons some others have stated—it really is wonderful living near family and we spend so much time with them. The 10% of me that wants to consider moving just thinks about how much more in line with my lifestyle Saratoga area is, and also the fact that I think my in laws will be spending winters in FL starting pretty soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885722 Mon, 27 May 2019 10:20:12 +0000 charm55 2885722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn’t move unless it was the only option. My DDs are so close to their grandparents that I couldn’t take them away from that unless I absolutely had to. My Dh and I really appreciate the help. My sister moved across the country and she keeps telling me to never move because it is not easy and she misses both the help and also all the big family events/celebrations. We grew up very close to my grandmother and extended family and I want the same for my kids. </p> <p>I also don’t want to have to use all our vacation time and money traveling home to visit family. I want to use my vacation for actual vacations, ha.</p> <p>My town is small and rural and there’s probably more opportunities in a bigger city but its a trade off for the sense of community we have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885720 Mon, 27 May 2019 10:11:56 +0000 cam 2885720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally, I wouldn't move. We currently live 3-5 hours away from most of our families and it's hard. We don't see anyone as much as we would like to and it makes holidays and special occasions harder. It would be possible to see them more, but we don't want to travel every weekend! Plus staying at other people's houses is not my favourite thing. If we were able to get good jobs in the city where all my DW's family lives we would have lived there, but it's a terrible town for employment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885719 Mon, 27 May 2019 10:09:24 +0000 Anagram 2885719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: oh man, Saratoga and Lake Placid are so beautiful, and so many winter activities. Where do you all live now? </p> <p>Are the grandparents retired? </p> <p>We moved before we had kids, and or families are an 8 hour drive (in laws)and an<br /> 2.5 hour flight (or 15 hour drive—my mother)away. So they can’t come last minute and that can suck when we really need help. But they do manage to come a fair amount since they are all retired. Or we go to them. In all, our kids see each side maybe 3-4x a year, but they are all longer time frames like a whole week where we are all in the same house.</p> <p>I wouldnt worry too much about moving schools. We live in an urban area and a lot of my friends felt if they were ever going to move out to the suburbs, it had to be before K, so their kiddos could be in the same school district. I work in schools, and we get new kids all the time, even s few months into the year, or like 2 months before the end of the year, or other non traditional times for families to move, and usually the kids integrate in pretty quickly. Plus, when the kids are young, they really only know the kids in their class, so each year is a whole new friend group anyway—-so I’ve never felt it’s necessary to move at a particular age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885715 Mon, 27 May 2019 09:25:36 +0000 Becky 2885715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: So how is it going? I’m concerned my older daughter (5.5 y/o) would never forgive me for taking her away from her family, but I also know she would like it where we would move (btw it’s Saratoga for any NY Bees). I don’t think this offer would be non-refusable (I work in the non-profit world so no big salaries here) which makes it a little less of an easy decision. This is really the only opportunity I would move for though (right job, right place).</p> <p>When we talk about moving when our girls are older, I mean when they’re in college. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885710 Mon, 27 May 2019 07:58:35 +0000 DillonLion 2885710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just left our entire family/friends/circle and moved right after LO finished kindergarten. We are now a plane ride or a really long car ride (14 hrs) away. DH took a job offer that was nonrefusable lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885678 Sun, 26 May 2019 18:23:26 +0000 gotkimchi 2885678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: if you will definitely move some day like you said I don’t think there’s a better time then now - it will be harder when they’re deep in school. When things like this come up I like to follow them through and see what happens - does the job pan out, is the money good etc if stuff just seems to fall in place or not and I think your path will be clear to you along the way </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885677 Sun, 26 May 2019 18:09:54 +0000 youboots 2885677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved 9 months ago cross country for my husbands job. Sometimes it’s hard but I don’t regret it.</p> <p>If you already know this is your ideal place I’d just go for it. It will be harder to move in 5 years than it would be now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885676 Sun, 26 May 2019 16:36:32 +0000 Becky 2885676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: Yeah they help a ton. They watch our girls 3 days a week. I would really miss how involved we are with them. It’s a really tight knit community and a great place to raise a family, but so is the place we would move to. We have talked about relocating out that way when our girls are older, and it was our top place to live before we moved where we are. </p> <p>Has anyone relocated away from family? Was it terrible or alternatively worth it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885636 Sat, 25 May 2019 20:36:33 +0000 Foodnerd81 2885636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I live a 4-5 hour drive from most of my family. It does suck in a lot of ways, but I like where I live so much more than where they are. I wish I could be closer to them without actually living in places that are geographically closer. We don’t see them as much as I would like. But I love where I am raising my kids. But I moved up here before we got married and had kids, so I don’t really know any different. And I made a really good group of friends especially when my first was a baby which has been a lifesaver. There’s no right answer, but I will say we choose to stay here over and over because it’s the right place for our family, even if it’s fartheer than i want from my parents and siblings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885634 Sat, 25 May 2019 20:23:53 +0000 bhbee 2885634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just some thoughts/considerations -<br /> How much does your family help you? That might be a big change if they watch the kids a fair amount, I really wish we had that closer (we live across the country from family). We’ve never lived near family though and it just means you have to prioritize trips (for family and you) and FaceTime and such. We spend most of our vacation time and $ flying to see family because we do want them to still be close. The fact that yours is driving distance would make it a bit easier I think. I guess on that note, how much of the burden of travel do you think would fall to you vs grandparents might be another thing to think about.<br /> The easy one is that I wouldn’t worry at all about moving after kindergarten. My first grader made tons of new friends this year (big school so little overlap in classes between years) and those friendships all seem very fluid still. I will be way more hesitant to make a big move by older elementary and up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885633 Sat, 25 May 2019 20:16:36 +0000 Becky 2885633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonJack: It would be a move up. My husband could move fairly easily—he’s a financial advisor and could join the group there. It’s a 4-5 hour drive from where we are now. </p> <p>My girls are very close to their grandparents and my SIL, BIL, and their niece. We will definitely move some day—I just wonder if I’d be happier living somewhere that felt like a better fit for me, vs. just living somewhere because it’s close to family. Ugh so difficult!</p> <p>ETA it’s a wash in terms of COL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885631 Sat, 25 May 2019 19:23:50 +0000 crazydoglady 2885631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: So many things come to mind-- would this be a lateral move or promotion? In terms of COL, would you be in a "better" position than you are now? If your SO works, how easy will it be for them to find new work? How important is it that your kids have relationships with your extended family and friends?</p> <p>I totally understand your dilemma. I dont love where we live either. Its...ehhh...ok. but my husband and I are both teachers and we make so much more here than we would anywhere else in the state (and we live in a relatively LCOL area.) We've talked about moving many times. but we are also close to both sets of grandparents. I was really close to my grandparents before they passed and wouldn't have changed that for the world...so we're still here. but we will absolutely move when we retire. Just 20 years to go.😅 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885630 Sat, 25 May 2019 19:15:03 +0000 LemonJack 2885630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That’s a really hard one. How far is the new job from where you currently live? Are you talking a couple hour drive or a plane ride away? </p> <p>I think it comes down to whether you think you would regret not moving at some point in the future. For what it’s worth, I think moving in early elementary school is a perfect time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-move-3#post-2885626 Sat, 25 May 2019 18:44:35 +0000 Becky 2885626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a dilemma. I may have a job opportunity that’s based out of the city/town my husband and I have always said is our ideal place to live. I really struggle where we live now because I don’t love the area, but what I do love is that we are surrounded by extended family. I am so conflicted because I really wish I lived in this other city/town which is near the mountains and is a place we love, and now this opportunity has come up. My oldest is just finishing kindergarten too which makes it harder. If this was 3 years ago we would have definitely taken the job and moved. Are we insane to consider uprooting our family when right now we live near and spend so much time with immediate family, and we have just developed a friend group? Thoughts/ideas are appreciated! </p>