https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 18:38:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951296 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:39:04 +0000 doodlepoodle 951296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: I think you hit the nail on the head...having the roots of kids and a house make it more difficult. Not impossible. Just hard.</p> <p>@wheres_c: is it bad that j and I face timed my dad two nights ago? He lives less than a 10 min walk away!! I agree that the options for contact could be different-quality over quantity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951293 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:35:27 +0000 wheres_c 951293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mynoahbear: having retired parents helps! My mom is retired and I see her 5-6 x year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951291 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:34:26 +0000 BSB 951291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved across the country almost 5 years ago for my job.</p> <p>It was a great career opportunity. We were newly engaged (now married). For us, we were young and didn't have kids at the time. </p> <p>It was good for us to move because it helped us not have to rely on family and friends. Our relationship is stronger because of it.</p> <p>It can be hard socially to be away from family and friends. We would need a 5 hour flight to go home. It's hard missing family milestones.</p> <p>We are planning on moving back to the area but looking back it was a great opportunity for us and my career. I'm pretty sure, if it weren't for this job, I would be stuck in PA. It was an opportunity that I just shouldn't turn down.</p> <p>Now, if we had kids and a house, I'm not sure if I would have uprooted our family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951290 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:34:18 +0000 wheres_c 951290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babyjmama: my thought process though, is despite missing the weekly closeness, you can still keep up a connection these days.<br /> We Skype/FaceTime with my family and FIs dad that's in Peru. I'm great at finding cheap flights so my mom, who is retired comes to visit every 3 months or so. Since I'm at home, I find that the quality of time I get to spend with her is better.</p> <p>I also haven't done it yet, because things are hectic, but if I found cheap flights I'd stay for a week with her twice a year.when you are a SAHM you have that luxury!<br /> I went to England for 3 weeks, to visit my grandma because I was a WAHM.. I would never have been able to do that as a working mom. The flight was the only expense and I got to spend quality time with her.</p> <p>I guess this reply is my long winded way of saying that I feel you can still stay connected, even when you're away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951288 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:33:23 +0000 mynoahbear 951288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved out of the country because DH was offered a good job and great benefits. We don't have family close by at all but we are able to afford a housekeeper who also helps with LO. When I have my next baby in December, we will fly my mom out to help us. She's retired so she can basically stay as long as an extended visa will allow her. I miss living near family but the the benefits and lifestyle definitely outweigh that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951287 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:33:23 +0000 doodlepoodle 951287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wheres_c: wow cool!! He still as a while but heck yes! What city r u moving to? I think I know but not for sure... (You can put it on my wall!)</p> <p>@brownie: I'm thinking there's no way it could be permanent but maybe 5-10 years. </p> <p>@lilteacherbee: that's my hesitation, until now we never would have, but the pay basically doubles...not that it's all about $$ but it sure doesn't hurt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951276 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:28:00 +0000 wheres_c 951276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babyjmama: oh how cool! My cousin is a manager at a petroleum company in Houston (although she travels a lot for work.) she makes BANK!<br /> If the pros outweigh the cons and you're actively looking out of state, Le me know and I can pass along his résumé. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951261 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:22:15 +0000 brownie 951261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved away years ago and then they all moved away. We are now looking to move closer for a crappier job. BUT we need that connection. I have great friends but it is really hard and friends are not the same as family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951260 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:21:22 +0000 Mrs. Pen 951260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would 100% move if that meant DH getting a good (better) job. In fact while looking for jobs, we have consistently looked at several positions out of state. We don't feel limited to live where we are just because my family is here. I love them to pieces and they are an amazing support system for us, but I also wouldn't mind living somewhere new if it meant a better life for my little family.</p> <p>We also don't plan to live here the rest of our lives. We're not sure what the future holds, but once I get more experience at my job, and hopefully finish school; we just might look more seriously into moving. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951259 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:20:28 +0000 lilteacherbee 951259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I'd *want* to do it, simply because I'm really close to my family and DH's. They all live within 45 minutes (most are 15-20 min away). Growing up, I was really close to my grandparents/cousins/etc. and I want our LO(s) to have that too.</p> <p>That being said, we have talked about it before. We are both teachers and NC is currently ranked #48 in the country for teacher pay. If we moved to another state, I could be a SAHM while DH taught, which is something that's definitely not an option now. I'm okay with working now, if that means I'm close to family. However, that may change once we have more kids (#2 and maybe a third). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951256 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:20:00 +0000 doodlepoodle 951256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wheres_c: I didn't realize he was so close w/his family! I hope this is a good move for you two ;-) three! We actually might be looking at tx! He was a rig mgr on an oil rig for 10 years and is now getting a Bach degree in petroleum engineering. Kind of limited options for job locations...</p> <p>We get lots of little breaks like a movie today bc my mil was here, dinner on a weeknight since I have a longer commute, but more than anything ill miss the closeness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951248 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:15:35 +0000 wheres_c 951248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since I was 18, I've always lived a plane ride away from family. I miss them occasionally, but I call mom almost every day and my dad weekly. I have no siblings.<br /> My FI has only ever lived with family. He was still living with his mom at 30 when we met.<br /> Early on, one of our talks was that if things worked out and we started a family, I didn't want to be tied to Florida.</p> <p>Even though he told me he was willing to move, I honestly don't know that he really considered it as an option until LO was here.</p> <p>I admit, I was the persuader, but once he saw that we would be able to have a better quality of life he got onboard with the idea.</p> <p>By moving to TX, he will have better career opportunities, I can "afford" to be a SAHM, we can afford a house with a back yard vs our FL condo, the weather is better and it's way more family friendly.</p> <p>I know it's going to work out for me, I'm curious how it will effect him. He's used to seeing his mom and siblings weekly. None of them help with LO, so that's not a factor.</p> <p>I would think about a nearby state, where you could still do a long distance drive if necessary. ( COME TO TEXAS!!!!)</p> <p>Where are you guys considering? What does your DH do? (Wall me if you don't wanna share on a public post!)<br /> Do you get a lot of family help with J, or is it just the closeness you'll miss? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951235 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 22:10:44 +0000 doodlepoodle 951235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: yeah the closeness of j to our parents/my brother is what makes me sad to think about. </p> <p>@mewtill: I think I'd have to essentially start over w/friends. The places he could get jobs aren't where anyone we know has moved :-( maybe HB could hook a sista up ;)</p> <p>@Weagle: I'm sorry about your uncle. :( we only have one niece and nephew (and no more will ever happen) but our parents would def struggle. </p> <p>@scg00387: yeah being a SAHM is really the biggest draw. If we stayed here I'd just continue to work and we would have a similar income when combined. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951155 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:46:08 +0000 immabeetoo 951155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've moved every year for the past 4 for DH's work, both further and closer to family. We've never been super reliant on family since we're not used to having them around so it's been a complete non-issue. Right now we live an hour from the inlaws and 5 from my folks and it's fine. I 100% would consider moving if I were in your shoes - I love staying at home :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951138 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:42:12 +0000 Weagle 951138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live in the DC area, and our families live in Alabama. DH actually moved here right after college, and I followed when we got married. We will stay here because we love DC, love the "family" we have here, and DH loves his job. It's hard at times. Recently my uncle passed away, and I couldn't get home on such short notice. It was really hard to be away. And it's sad to think that LO is the only cousin that lives away from other cousins. They will all know each other, but she'll be kind of a stranger. We wish we could move everything we love about DC and AL closer together, but DC is the winner at ths point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951136 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:41:10 +0000 doodlepoodle 951136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Penny Lane: I thought the questions were great too!! </p> <p>@Espion: haha we've never been too adventurous, but maybe this will kick start it ;-)</p> <p>This isn't at all something that will happen right away, just looking for some perspective:-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951130 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:39:58 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 951130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted ice cream, because A) I wish! and B) my answer is maybe. We moved away from family for my husband's job.</p> <p>PROS:<br /> Stable work<br /> Both happy with our jobs<br /> Able to buy a house<br /> Financially comfortable<br /> Fun adventures &amp; new people</p> <p>CONS:<br /> $$ spent on visiting family<br /> Very few friends in the city - can get lonely<br /> Hard adjustment period for me<br /> Tough with the baby not seeing family often/having their support</p> <p>So, I think it's worth a shot. Best case would be moving somewhere where you already know people. It's been hard to make friends and all our pre-move friends live 1+ hour away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951126 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:38:25 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 951126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved away from family because my DH got a really good job. It's been 5 years and we have no regrets. We still see our families often. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951122 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:37:54 +0000 HLK208 951122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we would do it if it meant life would be comfortable and we wouldn't struggle.</p> <p>I'd want to visit often though, like 4 times a year. I'm super close with my parents and so are the LO's! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951113 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:36:20 +0000 Espion 951113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved about as far away from family you can get and still be in the United States...we did it for the adventure and for the job.</p> <p>But I have to say, not having family available in a pinch is going to be tough. Then again, I haven't lived near family in the past decade, so I'm not the homesick type. We figure everyone is a plane flight away!</p> <p>And, I wish I had ice cream... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951112 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:36:17 +0000 Penny Lane 951112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>voted yes. we live a 7 hour drive/1 hour flight away from my mum, and a 22 hour 3 plane trip from my ILs, for a job that lets me SAH. </p> <p>@sera_87: has very valid questions to consider! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951104 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:33:22 +0000 doodlepoodle 951104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: it's national ice cream day! Do it! ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951101 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:32:54 +0000 lovehoneybee 951101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It definitely wouldn't be my first choice but we'd move for the right job, especially if it offered more financial security. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951100 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:32:47 +0000 doodlepoodle 951100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sera_87: haha I am too!! ;-)</p> <p>We don't 'rely' on them as much as we love having the close relationship with J. On a weekly basis he sees all of them and I love that, I didn't have it growing up. </p> <p>Since I'd be a SAHM my life would be more flexible. </p> <p>I would go freaking banana sandwich happy! Yes! I was supposed to be a SAHM from the get go but DH went back to school...jerk. ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951095 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:32:15 +0000 Lindsay05 951095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we would if it came up. I think being financially stable is important and hopefully he can still get a job relatively close to your families. </p> <p>I am gonna go eat ice cream now :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951076 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:28:48 +0000 sera_87 951076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i voted im eating ice cream BECAUSE I ACTUALLY AM!</p> <p>*mind blown*</p> <p>3 questions:<br /> - how much do you rely on family now?<br /> - how often could you visit?<br /> - do you think you could enjoy being a SAHM?</p> <p>ETA: RE: Last question. I'm asking as a general open/honest question, not as a veiled put down towards SAHM. Just wanted to clarify so nothing is misunderstood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-2#post-951068 Sun, 21 Jul 2013 21:26:46 +0000 doodlepoodle 951068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is a student and the area he's most interested in has jobs out of state. We are both very close to our families here in KS and are struggling to decide if we would move out of state for a good job. I know it's actually really common, just not something we'd thought we would do until now. (I could be a SAHM and we could be very comfortable). </p> <p>Tell me, have you moved away from family? How does it work for you? Is it worth it for a good job? </p>