https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 17 Jun 2026 02:00:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-125751 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 05:27:00 +0000 tequiero21 125751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm with the ladies above... Would want vacation but would visit family... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-125731 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 02:14:12 +0000 looch 125731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: Some people can do low maintenance travel, but I can't! I prefer to have a seat on the plane for the kid, which means a car seat. If we are doing any kind of car travel, we need a car seat too, so even if the kid is a lap child, we still have to gate check the seat. He sleeps in his crib and we have to put him down awake, so we need to think about where he sleeps at our destination. He also doesn't eat jarred food, so now, we need kid friendly food options. And don't forget the time difference. It takes us 4 days (both ways) to adjust over 6 time zones. That totally eats into any vacation time! When we're visiting family, my parents can totally help out while DH and I crash!</p> <p>I think the easiest time to travel with a baby is between birth and 6 months. They're not mobile and you can strap them in a carrier and you're good to go. Once they become mobile, it's a lot more complicated, IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-125730 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 02:09:18 +0000 SugarplumsMom 125730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Oh, wow ... I have a lot to learn! DH has co-workers that lug their infant around in Thailand and other really far destinations and here I thought it wouldn't be so hard to do. It took me visualizing the stay at my mom's house to realize how hard that would be for the baby and us! And I'm sure my imagination doesn't do justice to the real deal~!</p> <p>It was such a relief hearing my mom say she and my grandma thought we should wait. It's hard to not think like a single couple anymore, especially since this is the time DH has to submit his vacation days for the following year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-125721 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 01:54:49 +0000 looch 125721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: I know you've decided, but we're often in the same situation, we haven't been on a real vacation since I was 7 weeks pregnant in 2010! We use our vacation time to go and visit my family, for at least 2 weeks, as the time change is killer for us.</p> <p>It's hard to think about not going on a vacation, we love to travel, but we're of the mindset that if you go on vacation with a baby, it's not that much fun unless you've got childcare options. It's more hassle to get all the stuff together and everything. So for now, we're delaying the vacations until we don't need a crib and all the big gear! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-123032 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 11:08:42 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 123032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: ah ok, I understand. Glad to hear that everything worked out! FWIW we are also waiting for LO to turn one for our first trans-atlantic visit, so I totally understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-123021 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 11:03:33 +0000 SugarplumsMom 123021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>UPDATE: I just spoke to my mom and brought up the idea of visiting later (after LO turns 1). She admitted she was actually surprised and worried about us lugging around a baby so young. She actually thinks we should wait until after her 1st birthday and my grandma feels the same way! Yay!</p> <p>It would just be about my friend's wedding and as much as I love her, spending a minimum of $3000 just to attend a wedding as new parents with a baby is a little too much. She just announced her engagement so nothing's planned so far, but I really wanted to figure all this out before she makes any plans. Now I can let her know ... I hope she understands.</p> <p>As for taking a real vacay, we might not even want one and just want to stay home! So we're not planning anything. If we do end up doing something, it will be last minute so we can schedule things around LO.</p> <p>@Baby Boy Mom: We'd be flying from Sweden to San Diego, airfare's expensive =/ The all-inclusive would have been at a much closer location, a charter deal.</p> <p>THANKS EVERYONE! Writing all this down really helped me come to a quick conclusion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-123014 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 10:57:32 +0000 MsMamaBear 123014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe it's because my family is only an hour away, but I'd take the vacation and visit them on a short trip this year too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122996 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 10:32:52 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 122996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have this problem all the time because we live far from family. I would probably go with the family visit because like pp said it is the "right" thing to do. That said, if there wasn't a wedding and baptism option in the equation I would just go on vacation and do the family visit later on. The only thing I find strange is that it is costing you more to visit family- shouldn't it be cheaper because you are not paying for a hotel? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122973 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 10:16:50 +0000 chopsuey 122973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would go with option 1! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122881 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 07:48:14 +0000 SugarplumsMom 122881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: About once a year. Last year was the exception: my Mom visited during the summer and then we visited her during the holidays, during my 1st trimester. We were there for 4 weeks. Maybe that's the reason why I don't feel particularly excited about visiting this time around, especially with a baby.</p> <p>I know I sound horrible not wanting to go, but the sacrifice and cost just doesn't all fit with me. When LO is a bit older and can appreciate exploring, then it would be a lot funner for everyone. </p> <p>As for taking a vacation the following year, we'll definitely do that regardless but we might really need one this year - or we might just want to relax at home instead. But the important thing is that we don't have to plan things way in advance, without the option of canceling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122845 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 02:57:07 +0000 BSB 122845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Being far from family now, I would take 3 weeks to visit family and friends. I miss so much being so far from home. I would jump at any chance to go home. </p> <p> Could you shorten your trip home to 2 weeks and save that money and put it towards your all inclusive trip that you could take next year?</p> <p>Also, how frequently do you visit family and friends? Do you visit them once a year or less than that. I see my family about once a year so a 2-3 week trip is usually what I'll take. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122835 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 02:33:54 +0000 SugarplumsMom 122835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another thing I should add, and to me this is a biggie: my mom said she can't babysit the baby IF we wanted to take a weekend getaway just by ourselves. </p> <p>I love my mom, but she's never been the motherly type. She said she'll be too scared to take care of a baby (it's been so long), but would feel more comfortable taking care of her when she's able to walk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122834 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 02:28:25 +0000 SugarplumsMom 122834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsdaredevil: I agree. I know it's the "right thing" to do.</p> <p>@eeh: We're usually stuffed when we visit but it's nice to go out and eat since we're deprived from good restaurants where we live.</p> <p>@aunt pol: It's all day's worth of travel. It'll cost about $2500 for the flight alone.</p> <p>@Mrsdaredevil: If we decide to not go, then we wouldn't go on vacation during that same time. We'd wait a few months depending on how the LO is. In other words, we would have more flexibility to schedule around the LO instead of having to plan 6-months in advance. It'll be a lot cheaper too.</p> <p>@Grace: 10 days would feel too short because it takes a whole day of traveling to get there. It takes at least 4 to 5 days to get over the jet lag =/</p> <p> @mediagirl: As for the baptism, it looks like we won't be able to do it. My mom's Catholic and all the churches in my hometown are really strict (we have to have been married in a Catholic church, we weren't). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122831 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 02:14:45 +0000 mediagirl 122831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, can you shorten the trip home? Do the wedding and baptism the same weekend, maybe? I would feel like I had to go home and would feel guilty if I didn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122827 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 01:05:56 +0000 Grace 122827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd visit family, but I would go for a shorter time (10 days, maybe?) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122542 Sat, 14 Apr 2012 17:33:51 +0000 rattles 122542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd want the vaycay but would end up visiting the family. My gut was "vacation!!" but when I look at my own choices, I always end up prioritizing family time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122532 Sat, 14 Apr 2012 17:28:35 +0000 aunt pol 122532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If the baptism could somehow be arranged to take place within a week or so of the wedding, meaning you didn't need a whole three weeks home, then option A. Option B sounds really really good, though. How far away is your family that it's so very expensive to go there? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122510 Sat, 14 Apr 2012 17:18:32 +0000 Arden 122510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oof, that's a tough one. I personally would do the vacay, but with your situation is more complicated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122495 Sat, 14 Apr 2012 17:02:08 +0000 dc yoga bee 122495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsdaredevil: I agree. That vacay sounds really nice, but the other option would feel more "right" to me. Especially, since ideally friend will only have one wedding, and you can go on vacation another time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122493 Sat, 14 Apr 2012 17:00:10 +0000 eeh 122493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would want my mom to meet my LO so I'd probably go with the family option. Would all of your meals be out to eat or would friends and family cook for you some of the time? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122413 Sat, 14 Apr 2012 15:10:00 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 122413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's a hard call. I think I would want the vacation more, but I would feel like the family trip is the "right" thing to do. I would feel really bad not being in a friend's wedding because I went on a vacation instead. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122412 Sat, 14 Apr 2012 15:08:10 +0000 heffalump 122412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would want the real vacation, but I'd probably still go to the family because I'd feel like I should. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-rather-visit-familyfriends-or-have-real-vacation#post-122406 Sat, 14 Apr 2012 15:04:53 +0000 SugarplumsMom 122406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The scenario: You live afar from your family &amp; friends and contemplating your next vacation. Your mother wants to organize a baptism for the baby and your childhood friend is getting married and asked you to be a bridesmaid. Very convenient since both events are in your hometown. </p> <p>OPTION 1: Visit family &amp; friends (for 3 weeks)</p> <p>Pros:<br /> + Your mom &amp; grandma can meet LO.<br /> + You'll be there for your friend's wedding<br /> + Having a baptism at home (IF it's possible, the requirements are strict &amp; it may not be possible)</p> <p>Cons:<br /> - You, DH &amp; baby will be stuck in a small room for the duration of your stay<br /> - Your mother works long hours, so there's really only the weekends.<br /> - Extra long travel time with a 7 month old!<br /> - Extra costs include: a rent-a-car, gas, eating out, bridesmaid dress &amp; accessories.<br /> - Total costs will be at least 3 times more than Option 2.<br /> - Any additional travel (while there) will increase costs to at least 4 times more.</p> <p>OPTION 2: A real vacation at an all-inclusive resort (for 1 week)</p> <p>Pros:<br /> + It costs 1/3 of Option 1.<br /> + You're getting away to a real vacation at a place you've never been to.<br /> + Much shorter travel time.<br /> + No worries about food &amp; drinks since it's all inclusive.<br /> + Resort is family friendly.</p> <p>Cons:<br /> - This might be the last chance for your grandma to meet LO (although she's perfectly strong and healthy, she's getting old).<br /> - You're going to miss out on your friend's wedding.</p> <p>So, what would you do? Go on a real vacation or visit your family &amp; friends? </p> <p>Note: Going the following year would probably be a better option (when LO is a toddler), in either case no one will feel bad about you not making it. Friend and grandma would both understand. </p>