https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 08 Jun 2026 01:09:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2161492 Wed, 29 Apr 2015 21:55:46 +0000 Mrs. J 2161492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: see, I don't think what she's saying is part of Bradley because 1)my instructor never said anything like that and 2) I just looked it up and found this: <a href="http://healthybirth.net/?p=854" rel="nofollow">http://healthybirth.net/?p=854</a></p> <p>Basically, all testing has a purpose and to think of the health of your baby and what you'd get out of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2161379 Wed, 29 Apr 2015 19:39:14 +0000 littlejoy 2161379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: I totally agree -- telling her after the class is completed sounds like a great idea. </p> <p>Shame on her for pushing that agenda!! Even my "yoga way to birth" class explored all types of screening and places/ways to birth. Acknowledging and respecting technology and modern medicine. So, so sorry you are dealing with this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2161376 Wed, 29 Apr 2015 19:33:46 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2161376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't say anything. I'd just try to ignore anything beyond the Bradley method or whatever it is you're seeking to get from the class. Maybe send an email or feedback to the supervisor later. </p> <p>I know you went through a terrible thing, but my feeling is that you have to pick your battles. This lady knew your history and still said what she did, so she doesn't seem to care about your feelings. I have good friends who regularly tell me they're afraid to get pregnant and have a baby with Downs. Some people just don't get the tough decisions and/or tough life some of us have to lead. Just my .02c :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2161346 Wed, 29 Apr 2015 18:37:50 +0000 Truth Bombs 2161346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If she knew your history and shared these views anyway I don't see any benefit coming from you talking to her. It won't change her mind or the way she teaches her class going forward. I personally would not be comfortable taking a class from someone who gave such inappropriate (not to mention incorrect) advice. There could not be enough good to outweigh the bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2161265 Wed, 29 Apr 2015 16:48:25 +0000 catomd00 2161265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be furious too but also not surprised given the type of class it is. What are her qualifications? Should she even be offering up that kind of "medical advice"? I'd probably drop the class and let her know why! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2161247 Wed, 29 Apr 2015 16:19:30 +0000 Torchwood 2161247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: As far as I know, they're all independent but have to be certified, so I would assume she could be reported to whomever does the certification. But as several people above have said, I don't think anything she's said has been outside of Bradley's teachings. </p> <p>Thank you all for the input! I think I'm leaning towards the politely worded email after the class is over. Unless she actually brings up the ultrasound thing (it was just in an article on her website at this point), in which case I'll probably call her out on that. I really can't call her out in class about the termination thing, because my best guess is that *maybe* one other couple in the class would be pro-choice. And our situation is so complicated, that it takes a lot of explanation to not just horrify the pro-lifers that I would have a late termination. I don't want to alienate people, or have to go into a 30 minute explanation of what happened. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2161077 Wed, 29 Apr 2015 14:05:11 +0000 LulaBee 2161077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: that sucks.</p> <p>We took Bradley classes with my first pregnancy, and found there to be a lot of valuable information. So I don't blame you for not wanting to drop out. That being said....</p> <p>I would bring it up in class. You don't have to go into detail about your history, but most of the people in your class are probably first time parents and don't have any knowledge other than what the instructor is telling y'all. It's important to know that ultrasounds ARE good, and that genetic testing IS important and there is NOTHING WRONG with terminating because of medical issues (or if you just want to). I think your instructor needs to be called out, but more importantly, the other people in your class deserve to know the truth.</p> <p>Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2161009 Wed, 29 Apr 2015 13:27:03 +0000 looch 2161009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is this an independent teacher, or does she report into someone that you could talk to? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2161004 Wed, 29 Apr 2015 13:24:52 +0000 rattles 2161004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would drop the course and find one better suited to your ideals. If I stayed, I wouldn't say anything. You've already shared your story and she doesn't seem concerned about your feelings. No one is making you stay if you're offended or it isn't the right fit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160984 Wed, 29 Apr 2015 13:11:41 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 2160984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't look into the Bradley course, myself, but would find it incredibly frustrating to be force fed opinion as fact AND to allow others who may not have the context you &amp; your DH do, to trust &amp; believe in this info as though it were fact. I don't think I could possibly NOT say something, but picking &amp; choosing what to say &amp; when would be the hard part. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160310 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 22:07:43 +0000 youboots 2160310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's really not her place to project her views/opinions. I think a polite email to address this concern after you have completed the class would be fine, if anything else comes up before then you may consider it earlier. Since you don't want to drop the class- I think you will get more out of it by waiting to confront her so it does not cause tension/issues. But that's just me.</p> <p>FWIW I could not stand the instructor for our birthing classes- she for sure had an agenda. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160307 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 22:01:57 +0000 FliegepilzHut 2160307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: Reading @PawPrints: post, I guess it probably wouldn't do much good...but I'd still be tempted to mention to her (after completion of the course?) that there are people who will take (and have taken) her course, that might warrant a more measured tone ("would you consider termination, in a worst-case scenario?" rather than "you're not going to terminate!").</p> <p>I'm feeling very frustrated on your behalf and am so glad that I'm not being subjected to that kind of nonsense (I, for one, am a big proponent of the 20week scan-- so many things can be detected that could make a HUGE difference, particularly for choice of birth environment). Anyway, if you are enjoying the class otherwise, I would try to take all the good parts and leave the rest...much easier said than done, I'm sure! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160291 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 21:48:34 +0000 PawPrints 2160291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@IRunForFun: Much of the material our instructor provided that was related to the controversial topics was Bradley course branded stuff, like handouts etc. I think it's part of the philosophy. I don't think she's a renegade, nor was our instructor, unfortunately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160285 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 21:40:38 +0000 IRunForFun 2160285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't say anything yet if you plan to finish out the course, but if there is some way to give an evaluation or review at the end I would definitely mention it then. Also, do you know what kind of certifications she holds? I'm not sure how it works with childbirth educators, but I know with doulas, for example, the certifying organization outlines what is and is not included in the scope of practices, and doulas can be reported for operating outside the scope. Some of the things that's outside the scope of practice is giving medical advice and presenting it as fact and not choice. What @PawPrints: said would be way beyond it. Again, not sure what it's like for Bradley instructors but may be worth looking into to see you can report her to her certifying organization. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160281 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 21:36:37 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2160281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should definitely say something! There is a way to show opinions like that without alienating potentially large portions of the class. And those classes aren't cheap! Id be pissed even without your history. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160273 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 21:21:23 +0000 PurplePeony 2160273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're committed to staying in the class, I wouldn't say anything right now. But at the end, I'd let her know that you'll be posting a review on Yelp (or wherever) that highlights her unprofessional and insensitive behavior and that you'll be reporting it to the main organization. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160261 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 21:02:52 +0000 CakeLady 2160261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First of all, I'm so sorry she was so insensitive to you and DH. </p> <p>If you otherwise like the class and the teacher, and think that she would be receptive, I would speak with her and share your experience in hopes that she might be more sensitive to others in the future.</p> <p>However, I get the sense that there are some people out there who think that it is all or nothing when it comes to the role of medical technology (US, genetic screening, epidurals, etc) in pregnancy and childbirth. She may be one of those people.</p> <p>Pregnancy and motherhood are all about choosing the options that feel right for you and your family. It makes me sad that people who you'd look to for support about one topic choose to judge for things outside their expertise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160259 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 21:02:32 +0000 blackbird 2160259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: wtf?!</p> <p>@Torchwood: I wouldn't bother talking to her then. She is fully aware, she's just got her own agenda. It could get nasty and if I was enjoying the class, I wouldn't want to jeopardize what I was taking away from it.,But someone like her might piss me off enough for me to speak up during class in front of everyone. If she didn't know, it'd be different </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160258 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 21:02:28 +0000 Greentea 2160258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: I took Bradley classes. I found the book especially to be very extreme, a very extreme point of view. DH and I made fun of some of it in secret. I just took it with a grain of salt. In other words, I think that's just the way it is. I did learn a lot and feel much more prepared, however! I would just in one ear out the other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160256 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 20:59:24 +0000 mrscobee 2160256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If dropping is not an option I would respectfully share my opinion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160254 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 20:58:18 +0000 Mrs. J 2160254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: that's so crazy that happened in your class—we had none of that in ours! Such inconsistency. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160253 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 20:57:38 +0000 mrscobee 2160253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Microscope: @blackbird: agree wholeheartedly with these opinions... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160249 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 20:55:23 +0000 PawPrints 2160249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am glad to see this post, because at the beginning of our Bradley class I went home furious and could not believe there was nothing on the internet discussing this problem with the course. I left wondering if it was just my particular instructor. I don't mean specific to the issue that some couples do choose to terminate - I mean a LOT of incorrect non-scientific information that most couples in the class were accepting as bare fact. We were told that gestational diabetes doesn't exist and we should refuse the screening, that preeclampsia can be totally prevented through nutrition, ultrasounds are dangerous, so many things. I chose not to say anything but that was partly because we were taking the class for free. We both ended up benefiting a lot from the class as there was a lot of great information about how to approach and prepare yourself for a natural birth, but I did take every thing she said with a grain of salt (and a lot of googling). I can't advise what I would do in your situation since you are paying for the course and are personally offended by what she said, but just wanted to empathize. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160248 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 20:55:00 +0000 Torchwood 2160248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: There is no other option here. There are only two Bradley classes offered, and it's too late for the other one (it's farther along than this one). </p> <p>We're not dropping out. We're overall very happy with the class, and have no interest in quitting. I'm just looking for input on whether to say anything or let it go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160244 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 20:52:13 +0000 blackbird 2160244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: ohhh they offer Bradley at a hospital nearby. I would definitely request a refund and let her know you aren't comfortable with her class and why, and find someone who isn't so ignorant. Also if it's a Bradley class, you can email the headquarters or whoever she is certified through</p> <p>I just doubt you're going to suddenly open her mind, since she's already aware. She knows what's up, yet still feels the need to voice those thoughts </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160243 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 20:52:03 +0000 Mrs. J 2160243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say something to her, and maybe if there was a way to share your opinion in class, I would! I enjoyed hearing from other people in our Bradley class </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160239 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 20:50:16 +0000 macintosh 2160239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this instructor is being in appropriate in speaking about things that are beyond her expertise. It's about the same to me as if she were telling you not to vaccinate. Your choice to do screening tests, ultrasounds, or a medically necessary termination is between you and your doctor. I don't think I'd want to go back to that class. I agree with @cmomma17, she may be too set in her ways to respond to your criticism. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160238 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 20:49:38 +0000 Mrs. Microscope 2160238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So many hugs! I would say something, drop the class and ask for my money back. She is pushing her opinion as medical fact and that's not cool. At the very least she is blindly shaming parents for making their own family choices. Find a friendlier class! You have time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160236 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 20:48:50 +0000 dagret 2160236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: i would talk to her. I Would be furious if I were you, especially bc she knew some of your history. Also, If the class is through a health system I'd let them know too. Our childbirth educator said some kind of wacky things in our course and I made sure to point them out in her evaluation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-anything-1#post-2160235 Tue, 28 Apr 2015 20:48:31 +0000 Torchwood 2160235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: No, as far as I know most hospitals don't offer Bradley classes. </p> <p>@cmomma17: We both overall love the class. Dropping out isn't really an option. </p>