Hellobee Boards Topic: Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 27 May 2026 08:45:57 +0000 BKCaribBaby on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912733 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 12:35:30 +0000 BKCaribBaby 912733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No. Not even close. To his credit, DH has a job where he works long hours, and I'm currently home and interviewing. We have no yard, and we have a cleaning person, so I guess we are even on those fronts. Smurfette on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912653 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 12:16:50 +0000 Smurfette 912653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ * Cooking/feeding the family - Both. I usually do the planning, but he preps/starts cooking while I nurse R since we eat after she goes to bed. * Parenting - Me, he helps a lot but I do most. Especially like this week, he is traveling so solo parenting for me. * Naps - Mostly me * Household chores - Both. He does the bathrooms and mopping. Also yard work is his. I do everything else. * Bath - Daddy daughter time when he is home. * Bedtime - Me, cause I nurse right before bed. So I just put her in the crib. * Nighttime wakeups - me, although he will get up if I ask him too. Mrs. Jump Rope on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912610 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 12:08:17 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 912610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm a WAHM, so it's hard to find balance. I feel like no matter how evenly split our duties are, my "work" is never done. If I worked outside the home, I think I'd feel very differently! I cook bfast and lunch. My husband cooks dinner. My husband cuts the grass, takes out the trash. He cleans the garage, basement and downstairs bathroom. I clean the upstairs bathroom & bedrooms. We take turns cleaning the upstairs floors and kitchen. He cleans our cars & takes care of all auto maintence. He does bathtime I do bedtime. I wash, fold and put away all the laundry. I do the dishes most of the time, but he definitely pitches in. We both pay bills. I pay our taxes. He maintains the lawn, but I garden & weed. I'm a SAHM 3 full days a week & WAHM 2 days a week, so I do most of the parenting. Writing it all down, it seems splits very evenly!! CupQuakeWalk on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912584 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 12:03:07 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 912584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My husband works a lot during the week but during weekends, he does household things. We don't have a ton going on (cleaning-wise), with one baby and he doesn't even crawl yet. Cooking/Feeding the Family: I cook or grab take-out, I feed LO except on weekends when DH does some of it. Parenting: Mostly me with DH working 50h a week Naps:Me Household chores: me ...dh has his things he does occasionally but the BULK of it is me. Nighttime wakeups: None, LO STTN Bath: both Paying Bills/Managing Finances: DH Managing Household: DH Outdoor maintenance (making sure lawn guy comes in and is paid, takes trash out, turns on lawn sprinkler...): DH, Running Elley on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912577 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 12:01:30 +0000 Running Elley 912577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Cooking/feeding the family: Me Parenting: Mostly me because I SAH but DH is very helpful in the mornings and usually on weekends. Naps: Me Household chores: Me. DH does take out the trash, mow the lawn and does outside chores. Nighttime wakeups: Me Bath: Me Paying bills/managing finances: Both but slightly skewed toward me. Managing household: Both DH works a lot of hours, tons of overtime, so he's really only home right when LO wakes up in the morning during the week. He definitely helps out where he can and I'm usually okay with the way the balance is. littlek on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912552 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 11:55:16 +0000 littlek 912552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH works a ton so a lot falls on me. Cooking/Feeding the Family: Split (I usally feed LO since DH isn't home for dinner time) Parenting: Me Naps:Me Household chores: me Nighttime wakeups: None, LO STTN Bath: me Paying Bills/Managing Finances: DH Managing Household: DH We both WOH, but I have a lot more flexibility with my job than DH does. MsLipGloss on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912469 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 11:31:17 +0000 MsLipGloss 912469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The workload isn't balanced, but I do think it's fair. Sometimes I would like a little more help, but I can't be upset with DH when I don't ask for what I need (regardless of how obvious I think it should be . . . DH always assumes I have it under control, lol!) This isn't always true, but, for a typical day/weekend: * Cooking/feeding the family: Mostly me (for the planning/prep aspect), but DH will help out when he can (especially with grilling!); I almost always feed LO . . . DH gives her a bottle every now and then, but he has only ever fed her once or twice. * Parenting: Me (with some assistance) * Naps: Me * Household chores: Me, although he will do some laundry and he almost always takes the trash out. * Bath: Me (although DH comes in to just hang out with his girls when he is able) * Bedtime: Me * Nighttime wakeups: Me (unless I ask DH to help) *Paying Bills/ Managing Finances: DH *Managing Household (insurance, maintenance, etc.): DH (with occasional help from me) We both WOH, but DH has a ton of obligations that can't be moved (like client meetings, travel, etc.), so a lot of the flexibility falls to me (like for doctor appointments and such). irene on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912464 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 11:30:51 +0000 irene 912464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Is this considered fair? * Cooking/feeding the adults: Him * Cooking/feeding LO: Me * Parenting: Me 90%, Him 10% (With him blaming me when the result is not perfect or up to his standards. Sigh) * Naps: Me * Household chores: 50-50, depending on what it is * Bath: Me * Bedtime: Me * Nighttime wakeups: Me * Laundry for adults: Him * Laundry for LO: Me Very similar to @sooz: my husband also does all bills, finances, auto maintenance, house issues. We both work, but now I work less, and his work provides the whole family health insurance. I also do the little stuff like teeth brushing, nail clipping, medication, pediatrician trips... anything child related. JerricaBenton on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912399 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 11:14:15 +0000 JerricaBenton 912399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm a SAHM but my husband's schedule is very flexible. I do mostly all of the household work, like cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping. He handles garbage/recycling and yard work. As far as childcare, I spend more time with LO since I'm home but when my husband is home he does a ton for her. He likes doing stuff when he's home because he misses her. He also gets up in the night if she wakes up to change her and bring her to me if she needs to eat. heffalump on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912387 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 11:07:36 +0000 heffalump 912387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm a SAHM so obviously I do most of the parenting. But DH is very helpful on weekends and nights :) sooz on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912380 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 11:05:33 +0000 sooz 912380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think our work is divided up somewhat fairly, although, it does seem like more ends up on my plate...I'd say probably 60/40, but I also have to weigh in the factor that he works longer hours than I do. * Cooking/feeding the family - Me, but he does all the dishes * Parenting - Us (but probably more me since I'm home more) * Naps - Me * Household chores - We hired a cleaning lady to come every other week (this probably saved our marriage) * Bath - Him * Bedtime - Me * Nighttime wakeups - Us * Lawn/Yard work - Gardener who comes 1x per week Also, DH does all the bills, finances, fixes around the house, auto maintenance, and other PIA things that I hate doing including bug killing. lomom on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912344 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 10:53:42 +0000 lomom 912344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I do everything except an occasional bath. DH has changed one diaper in the past week. mrs. wagon on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912340 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 10:50:47 +0000 mrs. wagon 912340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ * Cooking/feeding the family: I cook dinners, we both feed. Wagon Sr. has recently started cooking breakfasts, which is awesome! * Parenting: both * Naps: usually Wagon Sr. * Household chores: Wagon Sr. does the trash and vacuuming, I do everything else. * Bath: Wagon Sr. * Bedtime: divide and conquer * Nighttime wakeups: Nursing: both. Bottle: usually just him while I pumped. For the most part we do everything together. Dishes, I do them while he puts clean dishes away. Sometimes we swap. Laundry, I do it and he restarts the dryer and helps fold t-shirts. Trash he does on his own, vacuuming he does on his own (when I bug him to!), bottles/pump parts I do on my own, bills I do on my own, cooking dinners I usually do on my own. cascademom on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912329 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 10:45:55 +0000 cascademom 912329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ -Cooking/feeding the family - me -Parenting - both -Naps - both -Household chores - more me, getting balanced -Bath - both -Bedtime - both -Nighttime wakeups - both For us, chorewars really helped to illustrate whose doing what chore wise. It's on the screen plain as day that I'm washing the bottles and cleaning up, while he wasn't. I think it brought more parity and transparency on the issue than before. Pepper on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912320 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 10:42:28 +0000 Pepper 912320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ * Cooking/feeding the family - I will cook, he will clean. Since the baby has arrived, he has been doing a lot more of the cooking since it was hard for me to get around/I'm feeding LO. * Parenting - I breastfeed. DH will help by offering support/company when I'm dealing with fussiness. He also gives LO a bottle of pumped milk in the evening. * Naps - We both hold the baby while he sleeps and/or makes sure he gets to sleep during the day when we are both home. * Household chores - I do the laundry, organize, bills. DH handles cat litter, garbage, lawn duties. We share everything else. * Bath - we both give him a bath * Bedtime - we both put him to bed * Nighttime wakeups - if DH is off from work the next day, we share night wake ups. If he has to work the next day, I handle all night wake ups and will make DH go sleep in a guest room if he is particularly fussy. It is important that DH gets sleep because he often works 12 hour days. mediagirl on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912299 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 10:33:29 +0000 mediagirl 912299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ * Cooking/feeding the family - Me * Parenting - Us * Naps - Us * Household chores - Us *Yard work - Him * Bath - Us * Bedtime - Us * Nighttime wakeups - Me/Us *Daycare drop off/pick up - Me *Bills - Us We're pretty equal! We both work and leave the house/arrive home around the same time. looch on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-912294 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 10:31:48 +0000 looch 912294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My housekeeper does the heavy lifting in terms of the cleaning and my husband is already talking about hiring a lawn service. I do the cooking and laundry, my husband maintains the outside of the house, pays the bills, and whatever other home improvement stuff I ask him to do. deerylou on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909371 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 07:54:10 +0000 deerylou 909371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's relatively balanced, but it still causes arguments on occasion. I meal plan, and make grocery lists, and we usually do the shopping together. I'll pack lunches and prepare breakfast, but DH does about 90% of the cooking. I don't have a lot of patience in the kitchen, and he's actually quite talented in the food department. I do the majority of the household chores, but DH has been taking out the trash/recycling, mopping, and scrubbing the tub consistently, especially since I've been pregnant, and unable to use certain products. We each do our own laundry. He doesn't sort, and I don't want to touch his rugby stuff. I stay on top of, and pay all of our bills. DH does the majority of the driving on the weekends, fills up the gas, goes to the car wash, etc. LO should be here any minute now - I imagine we'll split duties as best as we can, but I will be returning to work on a part-time schedule, while DH will remain full time+. MrsTiz on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909349 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 07:32:38 +0000 MrsTiz 909349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH cuts the grass.. Our household chores are so far from equaly split it's pathetic. I do everything. Dandelion on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909340 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 07:20:05 +0000 Dandelion 909340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm a SAHM, and DH works a lot. Also, DS is DH's step-son, so it's hard for him to find the balance with DS...anyways, here's ours: * Cooking/feeding the family: Me...but DH pays for it all. * Parenting: Mostly me, but DH will step in to back me up. * Naps: Well...DS doesn't do naps anymore...and usually it's me when he does, cause they're a result of a melt down * Household chores: Mostly me, but DH and DS both help * Bath: Me * Bedtime: Me * Nighttime wakeups: Me...but DH has gone in there before if I don't hear DS Once we have a kid that is DH's, too, I know he'll be more involved...but since he's trying to find that balance with DS, he lets me handle the bigger issues. Cherrybee on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909337 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 07:14:03 +0000 Cherrybee 909337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We still haven't found a balance. We go through phases where DH does a lot of laundry, cooking and washing up and then moans that he feels like he does everything. Then i go through phases where I try to do more of those things and I feel like I'm doing everything!!! DH doesn't really clean - he only vacuums when I specifically ask him to vaccum a specific room, he never cleans the bathroom, he never dusts. But he does do lots of DIY tasks around the house so maybe that makes up for it? I don't know. He always takes the bins out, too. We always shop together. The gardening is a bone of contention because, at present, neither of us does it routinely and we both hate it....! We really do need to work it out because it does cause arguments. I'm not sure how it will pan out when little miss is here! I hope we find our groove. yoursilverlining on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909316 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 06:44:01 +0000 yoursilverlining 909316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Nope, it isn't fair really (I don't think, my husband thinks it's fair!) - he does way more cleaning and cooking than I do. Like, probably 85%+ of the cleaning. Parenting is 100% fair and equitable. MamaMoose on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909305 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 06:22:34 +0000 MamaMoose 909305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would say things are fair but not necessarily equal. LO is still breastfed so there's a lot of work that goes into nursing and pumping. That's all on me but it's not hubs' fault he can't be helpful in that area so it's not unfair. Same thing with baby sleep... Sometimes she only wants me no matter how hard her daddy tries. Andrea on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909304 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 06:18:43 +0000 Andrea 909304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, I am happy with how we divide up everything! 808love on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909187 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 23:08:46 +0000 808love 909187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Both of us handle all but bedtime and nighttime-that's mainly me. I also handle almost all of the paperwork/finances; Husband does slightly more chores but I'll never admit it! It all balances out. Mrs. Jacks on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909185 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 23:06:44 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 909185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would say our work is not equitable. He really does most of the household chores and child care. I do maybe 40%? I will say, it is satisfying to do it all for a weekend while he gets a break with his friends for once. Boheme on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909180 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 23:00:41 +0000 Boheme 909180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH does all the yard/outdoor/manual labor chores plus all the errands/bills, and I take care of the house. Factor in him helping me with the house often, and he does more! His schedule is just more flexible, and I'm the only one who can feed the baby :) Sapphiresun on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909168 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 22:48:28 +0000 Sapphiresun 909168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would say we're pretty evenly divided if not skewed a little toward DH doing more. He does all the "cleaning" type chores except for laundry, and I do all the "errand" type chores, financial management and all the cooking. Baby's still 5 weeks away, but I assume this will change once I'm on mat leave for the year, and the majority of the parenting will fall to me. Mrs. High Heels on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909157 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 22:40:51 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 909157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ * Cooking/feeding the family - me * Parenting - both * Naps - both * Household chores - more me * Bath - both * Bedtime - both * Nighttime wakeups - both I actually think it's pretty evenly divided. The one area of weakness for DH is probably the household chores department, but he picks up the slack a lot in the parenting department... so I'd say we're pretty 50/50! mrbee on "Would you say that the work is divided fairly in your household?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-say-that-the-work-is-divided-fairly-in-your-household#post-909128 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 22:30:42 +0000 mrbee 909128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Here's a partial list of the work that has to get done in a lot of households: * Cooking/feeding the family * Parenting * Naps * Household chores * Bath * Bedtime * Nighttime wakeups Also, one or both parents is usually working... which also takes up a lot of time. Would you say that overall, the work is divided fairly in your household? How do you feel about it?