https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 05:40:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-666364 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 16:09:37 +0000 Mrs. Grizzly Bear 666364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure I would have the strength to be as level-headed and as patient as this woman but I would like to think that I would have the courage to fight back somehow without ever fighting. Of course, to be absolutely honest, I would probably be the husband and DH would probably be the wife. And I think -he- would act the way she had or some way very similar. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-666359 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 16:08:29 +0000 cascademom 666359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: Recently, my DH and I have been through some rough times because of my MIL. I felt so betrayed, felt that he was siding with her, and not supporting me. Throughout months of counseling, we're slowly healing the hurt and the pain around the situation. At one point, we were at each other's throats about simple things. Anytime I plainly spoke about his mom's behavior in counseling, he would lash out at home. Add to all of this stress, we have LO who wasn't even three months old when we started counseling. </p> <p>It's taken a lot of time to just heal ourselves from the incident. We still have an upcoming visit to the inlaws which is going to take all of the strength I have to maintain my best composure and trust that my husband supports myself and our LO. At times in counseling, I've had to strongly point out that when he throws me under the bus, he does the same to LO as we're a family. Just getting that concept across has been a struggle. I really fear that he won't support us as a family down there in an attempt to please his family. Things like that keep me up at night after going through what we've been through. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-666355 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 16:07:47 +0000 pui 666355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: Well said. :) I agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-666348 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 16:05:12 +0000 red_seattle 666348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great article! I read it a few years ago when it first came out, and every once in a while, I'm reminded of it. I re-read it today, and to answer your question-- I really do hope that I could react the way she did. But truth be told, my gut reaction would be to insist on counseling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-666311 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:53:19 +0000 Mrsbells 666311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope I would also have the courage and strength to wait things out as well. Its easier to just be angry, hurt and walk away but I think it takes strength to stay </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-666289 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:46:54 +0000 prettylizy 666289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a beautiful thing... something that I would never have thought of, but by the same token have done a zillion times. Every time DH and I argue, his go to argument ender is "Well maybe we should just end this". It's been 10 years. We're not going anywhere. It used to send me in to fits of tears and apologies. It was a sure fire way to stop the fight and get me to give in. I've since learned that it's not my husband talking, but his temper, and now I just ignore it.... I know he doesn't mean it and adressing it doesn't help anything. Our arguments are few and far between these days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-666218 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:26:52 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 666218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for sharing. I always thought walking away without a fuss was a sign of love, but this wife proves loving through the hurt is also love. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-666193 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:13:19 +0000 rachiecakes 666193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know and fortunately I'm not in that situation but I have a good friend who said this to her husband. And he said he felt the same. They decided to have an open relationship but that didn't work out either. Eventually they divorced and are better off.<br /> Good read though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-666116 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 14:40:28 +0000 daniellemybelle 666116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've read that article, and my feeling is that, if DH said that to me, and stuck with it for 6 months, it would be really hard for me to heal after that. I would feel seriously betrayed and he would have to really make up for it. I just don't think I am strong enough to pull both of our weight in a marriage, even though I think in many ways it is admirable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-666028 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 14:08:41 +0000 BSB 666028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, what a story. I give her lots of Kudos because I don't think I could do it. Yes, I would do it for the kids but how her husband treated her during this break would probably tear me apart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-665874 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 13:15:50 +0000 MarieJ 665874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was the most amazing article I've read in a long time. I'm not sure I could have done that for 6 months. Just imagine how that would screw with someone's emotions and self esteem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-665787 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 12:53:55 +0000 ladyfingers 665787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know. Part of me thinks, life's too short to waste time on somebody who claims to no longer love you. I don't know that I'd ever be able to trust him. But with kids involved... it's tricky. I haven't read the piece yet, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-665784 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 12:52:18 +0000 T-Mom 665784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for sharing, I really enjoyed that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-665748 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 12:46:02 +0000 MrsTiz 665748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TurtleDoves: I would guess that after 20 years people change dramatically. You aren't the energetic 25 year old anymore, you grow up, experience new things, turn into a new person. I can understand how when someone changes they might not be as likable anymore. Some people just grow apart or grow into non compatible people </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-665523 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 11:41:44 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 665523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't answer because I can't imagine, but:<br /> That's pretty shitty of someone to just stop loving someone who they loved for 20+ years and share children and a home with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-665521 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 11:41:21 +0000 Alivoo01 665521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great/interesting read! I think I would try to work it out to see what the issue is, but not sure if I could do what this woman did. 4 months is a long time to be given the cold shoulder and still be strong! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-665487 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 11:35:56 +0000 anonysquire 665487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, screw that! Good for that woman but I would never do that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-665483 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 11:35:02 +0000 MrsTiz 665483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't stay. </p> <p>If my husband decided to say "I don't love you any more, I want to leave", that is obviously something he had been thinking about. I might work on it, but I think it is worse to make your partner stay than to let them leave.</p> <p>I want happiness for DH, and if he can't find that with me I love him enough to let him out and go find it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-665468 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 11:31:12 +0000 LuLu Mom 665468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is very interesting to me, I don't think I would have the strength to last 6 months of him coming, going, neglecting family like she did. I have a temper and I think holding my tongue for so long would be hard. </p> <p>However, I do agree that she made it be his decision, and I would like to think I would do the same thing. That I would allow him to decide for himself and I would try to be mature for our family, but wow it would be hard! We both agree we married for life so I would think we would both fight for our marriage and it wouldn't get to this point, but of course you just never know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-665101 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 10:00:45 +0000 illumina 665101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for posting this. Admittedly it did make me cry a little! Whilst I hope I never have to go through something like this, if I did, I hope to be as strong as this woman was. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-665041 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 09:42:19 +0000 Weagle 665041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: Yes! I didn't read the article, but I don't need to in order to know how I would react. I'm not giving up. I don't deserve the perfect husband (impossible anyway) anymore than I deserve salvation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-664930 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 09:06:55 +0000 Mrs. Bee 664930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>that was a great read! thanks for sharing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-664871 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 08:53:04 +0000 runsyellowlites 664871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: Thank you for sharing this! I LOVED reading it &amp; am so glad to see such an example of what love it! It totally made me cry but for reasons of joy &amp; not b/c it's sad. And I loved how she realized that HER happiness was not reliant on him or any other circumstance for that matter. It was completely up to what she allowed herself to think &amp; do! I think if more of us took THIS approach there would be alot less divorce in the world &amp; we'd all be happier!</p> <p>I know I would stay... probably not nearly as "cleanly" and adult like as she did but I hope that as I mature I might get closer to a reaction like that. Love is an action word &amp; to be in love is circumstantial. I certainly don't hope to ever hear those words from my husband but at the same time know that it's unrealistic to think we'll always feel head over heels "in love" with one another. Some seasons will be all about love in action &amp; that's totally what she did!</p> <p>I love what you added too b/c it is SO true! That love isn't forced, it's just there in action. From afar waiting if it needs to be, but always there. </p> <p>Reading this totally made my morning... now off to share on FB! =) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-664777 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 08:17:43 +0000 pui 664777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also I'd like to add my Christian perspective too (for the benefit of any other Christians out there). Marriage is a metaphor for God's love for His people. God loves His people unconditionally... He died for us. Even if you rebel against God, if you fight against Him, no matter how deep your sins... He still loves you. Always. </p> <p>In marriage, we are called to emulate that kind of love to the best of our ability. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-664770 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 08:13:26 +0000 Bookish 664770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That was super interesting! I don't know if I have the strength to do what she did, but this whole thing is in line with my philosophy on marriage, which is basically that it will have up and downs, and you just have to wait out the bad times until the good ones come back. I think her husband was a s*** for putting his family through that, but I can see why she did what she did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-married-to-a-man-who-said-he-didnt-love-you-anymore-this-woman-did#post-664761 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 08:06:54 +0000 pui 664761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just read this fascinating article.</p> <p><a href="http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him/" rel="nofollow">http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him/</a></p> <p>To sum it up (but PLEASE read the article!!), it's about a woman who's husband one day announces that he does not love her anymore after years of marriage and four children. Her response? "I don't buy it".</p> <p>She waits it out. She doesn't threaten to leave or lawyer up. She gives him space and eventually he comes back to her.</p> <p>This got me thinking about what I would do for my own relationship. If my husband one day told me he wanted to leave me (especially after 20+ years of marriage and children), what would I do?</p> <p>I really admire this woman, because I am pretty sure I wouldn't have the strength to do what she did. </p> <p>Don't I deserve better? Don't I deserve to be with someone who would never say such a hurtful thing?</p> <p>On the other hand, no one can be the perfect partner. Is it unreasonable that a person could go through a crisis like this? Everyone experiences fear or frustration or pain... everyone makes mistakes. It's human.</p> <p>I made vows to my husband that NO MATTER WHAT I would do anything in my ability to keep our family together, and I truly mean that.</p> <p>This has really given me a new perspective on marriage. </p>