https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 17:58:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2585715 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 15:13:40 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2585715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2585671 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 14:22:32 +0000 Anagram 2585671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: <a href="http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/06/19/realestate/bidding-wars-in-the-suburbs.html" rel="nofollow">http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/06/19/realestate/bidding-wars-in-the-suburbs.html</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2585373 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 10:31:29 +0000 Iced Tea 2585373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a previous poster mentioned, look into the possibility of paying to attend a better public school, if there is one that could work for drop off and pick up. </p> <p>Some of my relatives do that. They pay about 3,000 per year to attend an adjoining school district. Not DC. Probably costs more there, but worth considering. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2585293 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 08:40:38 +0000 looch 2585293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I think we are on the exact same page! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2585281 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 08:28:21 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2585281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I haven't yet. I did a quick Google search yesterday and basically got some sticker shock, but more research is definitely warranted. The time and investment per kid is exactly what we're concerned about most. Husband and I are both immigrant kids who grew up in great school districts, so we had the benefit of being pulled up by our peers because the teachers didn't have to step away too much with just one or two kids needing extra help. I'm concerned about the opposite effect for a kid who doesn't have to overcome language barriers in a district with a large immigrant population (though I would love for her to have access to that diversity). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2585280 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 08:25:20 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2585280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Could you send me the link to that article? I grew up in Bergen County, where my parents still are, and my husband's family is in Union, so we'd be looking in that general area if we do decide to move. </p> <p>And really great points on the schools, thank you. The school issue is a particularly big deal to my husband, less so to me. I did give him all this feedback last night and I think it gave him some pause and possibly room to reconsider renting, private school and more thinking about our long term plans. So many decisions! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2585270 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 08:13:45 +0000 Anagram 2585270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Where in NJ? If it's Northern NJ, anywhere close to NYC, I would suggest staying put and saving up your pennies for a larger down payment. The NYT just wrote an article last week about the crazy bidding wars in the desirable NJ suburbs of NYC. And then of course, property taxes are crazy. It's one of the things that keeps us from moving further out to the suburbs (we are also in a 2 bedroom, 2 bath condo with two kids).</p> <p>Our local school district isn't great on paper (I think the Great Schools rating is like, a 2 or 3), but I hear better things from parents and I work with one of the elementary school principal's wives, who has good things to say about the school district, so we have enrolled our LO in the public Pre-K program and have no issues keeping her here at least through 5th grade.</p> <p>I've worked in very low income "bad" schools and high income "good" schools and the differences are not what parents tend to think. The best school I've ever worked in, with the most dedicated and brightest teachers and administration, was the poorest school. 98% low income and 80% esl. But the things that school was doing were just amazing. Their test scores weren't that great (but not terrible, like some schools...just kind of average), but when you consider they were getting low-average scores with some of the poorest kids who had just moved to the US that year, then those average scores are amazing.</p> <p>I feel like Kindergarten can be fine almost anywhere. As long as you feel your child is in a safe environment, then I would stay put for now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2585254 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 07:54:02 +0000 ShootingStar 2585254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unless you live in an area where you can essentially "flip" your next house by making a large profit on it after only owning a few years, I absolutely would not move. You could be underwater, plus you'll have to pay the realtor commission. So even if the price of the house goes up a few percent, the realtor commission will probably take all of that. Plus the costs of moving.</p> <p>I'd rather put that money into private schools. Then you get to keep your decent commute and not deal with the hassle of moving twice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2585236 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 06:53:50 +0000 looch 2585236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: Ok, got it. The schools in my town are similar...because housing costs are lower in some parts, you get a lot of folks coming in that don't speak English as their first language. On the one hand I preach diversity, but on the other hand, I know my son. He would take the opportunity where a teacher is focused on helping others to be a little, how do I say this...distracting himself!!! </p> <p>The problem I have isn't so much with the parental involvement (it's a problem at all schools, I think you get the core group that helps and it's hard to recruit for so many reasons), it's that when you have a lot of kids that need additional attention, or instruction in a second language, it cuts down on the time the teacher has to focus on the actual material. So, even though they present the materials, they are spending so much time on the kids that need extra help to learn it that it can take away from the typical learners.</p> <p>That's just my 2 cents. I know it's hard, I went to these same schools and I think I turned out quite nicely, but it's not exactly an apples to apples comparison given the 30 year time span that has elapsed.</p> <p>Have you looked into charter and magnet programs? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2585084 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 19:47:53 +0000 Mrsbells 2585084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: i would want to move. For me living by a good school district is everything </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2585065 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 19:02:09 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2585065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally the learning/scores stuff wouldn't bother me as much as discipline. Does your LO have the personality to handle public school classroom management policies? Like standing in line, sharing, etc. In struggling schools I feel like good classroom management is a real struggle for teachers, who usually are understaffed, overworked, poorly compensated, and without resources. This is just my opinion after having my son in a public daycare for a while, and seeing what a struggle it is for the teachers to do classroom management without resources or parental support. At four I don't think my son is ready so we are doing private pre K to give him more opportunity to mature. I am hoping we will do public K but I would definitely consider private K if he just wasn't ready. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584997 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 16:51:27 +0000 Portboston 2584997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you are seriously considering moving back to NJ in 5 years, I would stay put and get creative on the schooling issue. Whether it be private or charter schools, it will only be for 3 years. Personally, Id rather make that sacrifice then increase my commute + move again in 5 years. </p> <p>I agree with @PawPrints:. You will definitely be heavily involved in LO's schooling for those first few years so I don't think it would be a huge detriment to not be in a top rated school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584912 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 15:25:15 +0000 PawPrints 2584912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stay put. The curriculum your LO will be learning in grades K-2 is stuff that you will likely be interested and able to help out with at home anyway, so I think it's entirely possible for your kid to keep up with reading and basic math through you and DH helping a bit at home. Then you'd be moving to a better school district by the time he's old enough to be getting into harder subjects and will really benefit from better teachers.</p> <p>(This is actually really similar to the path I followed as a kid - I grew up in DC area and attended a high-immigrant population, very low-rated school for K-2, then switched to full-time gifted center at a different school starting in grade 3. It really did work out fine for me, I just spent a ton of time reading books independently and doing math on my own since it was fun.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584900 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 15:17:30 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2584900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: @snowjewelz: the school district is poor because it's a high immigrant area. Scores are poor, but so is parent engagement, teacher engagement, etc. While I generally don't place a lot of stock in test scores, there are enough factors (and having talked to parents and even teachers in our district) that we do want to put her elsewhere. It doesn't have to be awesomely shiny, but definitely a step or two up from our current location. Unfortunately private schools are going to cost us about the same as our current mortgage, so I'm not sure we can make that work, but definitely something to consider, I didn't even think of that option. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584899 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 15:17:06 +0000 mediagirl 2584899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: ugh. I miss DC but I sure don't miss that commute. :( I think the other choice I would consider is the option of charter or magnet school. And last resort - the cruddy school for a few years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584896 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 15:15:20 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2584896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: We both work in DC, and don't have family or a go-to kid person, so we have to be able to get back to wherever our kiddo is fairly quickly if she's sick, etc. Our current commute is ~1 hour (for all of 7 miles), and we have a fair amount of transportation options we can use, so ideally we wouldn't get too far beyond that. Or we'd have to stagger schedules so that one of us is on tap for pickup and the other for dropoff. It's doable and that's why it's less of a consideration, since we are both lucky enough to have some flexibility in our work situations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584891 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 15:13:07 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2584891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KayKay, @yoursilverlining: We definitely aren't making any moves until at least spring/summer of 2017 at the earliest. His job situation needs to stabilize (the election could affect whether he even has a job), and we have time before she needs to be registered for kindergarten. We're meeting with a realtor only to figure out whether we should make any improvements on our current place before selling, and what we would need to get together to be ready for the selling/buying process, since this is our first time selling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584675 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 10:53:27 +0000 edelweiss 2584675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>if you are fairly positive that you will be moving in 2021, i agree with the others that that's a pretty short timeframe to be in a new house. the moving/closing/whatever else costs may not be worth it. </p> <p>that being said, it also depends on how bad the school district is. if you don't mind me asking, which school district are you talking about? (i live in nova) while dc proper is tough, the charter schools are a great option. in the surrounding burbs, i feel like even the districts that don't have great high schools still have pretty strong elementary schools. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584654 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 10:20:03 +0000 snowjewelz 2584654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd stay put. If you're in a poor school district (assuming test scores, ratings, etc and not bad like your kid isn't safe there), since LO is still young, I'd probably just suck it up in the school district. I feel like when they're young you can do a lot to supplement their learning, enrich their learning experiences on your own or with other activities/classes outside of school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584653 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 10:19:48 +0000 yoursilverlining 2584653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stay put, at least until after the election and into early 2018 when your husband finds out more about his job. I don’t think I would sell and buy a new place if I knew I would only be there for 3 years.</p> <p>The public schools around here will let you “buy in” if you don’t live in the district. It’s cheaper than private, although you have to arrange all transportation. Maybe that’s another option to look into? </p> <p>I would also calculate out the cost of private school for a few years vs. the increased housing costs and property taxes. They might not be that far off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584646 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 10:16:40 +0000 ElbieKay 2584646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like the suggestion to rent out your existing place and then rent in another location. That would probably minimize your transaction costs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584636 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 09:57:59 +0000 yellowbird 2584636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stay put and look at charter, magnet and private schools </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584630 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 09:44:09 +0000 Mamaof2 2584630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stay put - I wouldn't buy for only 3 years </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584624 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 09:38:16 +0000 catlady 2584624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's tough but I wouldn't buy again for only 3ish years. Despite your DH not wanting to "waste" money by renting, you'd also probably end up "wasting" money by selling too quickly that way. I'd probably suck it up and either rent for 3 years or do private school for 3 years. This is as long as you are completely certain you will leave the state in 2021 though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584621 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 09:33:01 +0000 mediagirl 2584621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: what type of commute would your husband be willing to do? When I worked in DC, I had a 1:30 commute (one way) that took me from my house in Maryland to the marc train, to the metro. Then I walked to my office. It wasn't terrible and I'd be willing to do it again if it meant a killer pension and dealing with it for just a few years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584617 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 09:25:46 +0000 dc yoga bee 2584617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We made the decision to move to the DC burbs, and commute is not so great lol. But, more space, excellent schools, etc.. I also work for fed govt. can you get into one of the DC charter schools? Otherwise. I've always been told the early formative years are super important, so I would send lo to private or rent out the condo, and move into a better district. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584560 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 07:35:11 +0000 looch 2584560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Why is the district poor...is it because of violence, or is it because of low test scores? I live in a not so great district (surrounding towns are consistently rated "the best" and often in the top in the nation, but it's because a starter home costs $1million, so it prices out the lower class). Just moving over a town wasn't an option, and neither is really relocating to another state, so I had to get creative.</p> <p>My solution was to look at interdistrict charter and magnet schools. There are tons of options out there and I was surprised to learn that not many parents knew or took advantage of them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584558 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 07:27:15 +0000 KayKay 2584558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Given all the uncertainty (and unwillingness to rent), I'd stay put at least until the election and most likely until early 2018. Then you'll have a better idea of whether you would want to stay or move to NJ. I wouldn't want to buy now if you're almost assuredly planning to move -- we did that during DH's residency. We ended up not really making/losing any money on the house in terms of our closings, but we still had all of the maintenance costs, and it was a weird limbo of not really wanting to fix stuff or upgrade stuff that we personally would've liked to since we knew we'd be selling/moving and wouldn't get the $$ back out of it.</p> <p>I'd also be for selling to rent in a bigger place/decent location, but sounds like your DH is against that! I know it's not always a great financial decision depending on your rent, but it's so nice to not have the headache of insurance, maintenance, or worrying about selling if you know you'll be moving. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584547 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 06:57:21 +0000 caterw 2584547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is private school an option for the first few years? I would hate to move and then end up not liking the school (even if it's highly rated). We are kinda in the same boat here- we are going to give up our well-loved apartment in our current city next year and moving back to where our parents live (in my actual parent's house) so kiddos can attend the schools we went to. We are pretty much priced out of the neighborhoods with amazing public schools here, and will need to save a significant amount to be able to afford to buy in the city where we grew up, although houses there are less expensive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-stay-or-movebuy#post-2584544 Tue, 12 Jul 2016 06:56:08 +0000 Madison43 2584544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thats tough. I'd also be worried that if I bought in 2018 and then sold in 2021 to move to NJ, I'd end up losing money between all the moving costs, mortgages, broker, closing fees, etc.... Is private school an option to buy you a few years? </p>