https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 12:05:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878582 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 09:06:15 +0000 josina 2878582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think in this case I wouldn't say anything unless it was extremely/obviously loose, like PP's said, maybe she is planning on tightening the straps when she places it in the car. But I do like the idea of mentioning it to the group leader as a reminder for everyone.</p> <p>I did have to bring up a car seat issue to a friend last year... her 10 month old was already forward-facing and the straps were loose when I saw her DH getting the baby out of the car. I mentioned in a text later on (I wasn't sure what to do in the moment) and brought it up as a legal issue since babies need to rear-face till 1 in our state, and she said she didn't know. I try to share car seat safety articles on facebook whenever I see them to make sure everyone DOES know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878577 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 08:30:13 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2878577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePumps: I wouldn't have personally, because it wouldn't have even occurred to me probably. I never tightened them all the way til the car seat was actually in the car because my kids got grumpy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878570 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 07:49:22 +0000 foodiebee 2878570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In situations like this, I try to put the focus on myself, framing it as if I'm asking for help. I'll say something like, "Hey! I see you're putting your kiddo in his/her carseat, and I've been so confused lately. I was following XYZ for safety, but then someone told me about XYZ instead and said this was safer. Have you heard this too?" It sets it up as a conversation, points out an alternate way for her to think about it (if she hasn't already), and doesn't come off as confrontational/judgmental. Her response will let you gauge where she's at (does she already know and is making a choice? Or is she like me and clueless :silly: ) too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878568 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 07:35:40 +0000 cam 2878568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think seeing if you could initiate a group discussion is a great idea! I'll also say that in my bucket seat I will sometimes strap him in more loosely and then tighten it up once he's in the car. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878566 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 07:28:36 +0000 Ajsmommy 2878566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I'd bring it up directly.. but maybe I'd try to casually start the conversation about it and in the past I've played "dumb" and been like "wow, can you believe how easy it is to mess up these stinkin car seats!! Geesh, I had NO idea about the pinch test until (insert something plausible) I read about it on my mommy blog" and hope she gets the point.... </p> <p>I'll be honest I never realized what a big deal it was prior to having kids and I probably wouldn't have known the other stuff if it wasn't for my online mommy groups etc.</p> <p>I can also say that I wouldn't say anything bc maybe she knows.... for EXAMPLE, I know.. I also know about the NO PUFFY jackets etc.. However, on occasion when I pick up from daycare I sometimes leave the puffy jacket on BC my drive to my house is less than a mile within my community (15 mph rds)... I know it's wrong but I make that decision. One time I took the cutest pic of DD (with puffy jacket on in car seat) and I even thought twice about posting it bc I knew it was "breaking the rules" ... but I posted anyway.. within 15 mins I had another mommy sending me articles about the dangers that I already knew about... which caused me to ROLL MY EYES.. but she was right.....</p> <p>All that to say I don't think I'd say anything directly... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878535 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 20:32:54 +0000 PurplePumps 2878535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks, seems like I was right with my initial thought not to say anything.<br /> @PurplePeony: That's a really good idea! I think I can bring it up to the group lead for a general topic of discussion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878518 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 18:49:59 +0000 PurplePeony 2878518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it would be best to see if the group can have a general discussion on car seat safety. Then, if you still notice issues after that, you can address them in the context of the group discussion and not out of the blue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878515 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 18:14:15 +0000 Ms.Mermaid 2878515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you say something like, “I’ve found if I pull the straps from underneath, it helps a lot with getting it tight enough!” This is definitely true of my car seat so maybe is true of others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878513 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 17:25:00 +0000 Lindsay05 2878513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not. That would annoy me so I wouldn’t do it to somebody else. Maybe offer to put the baby in the seat next time? Or offer to help adjusting because “seats can be tricky sometimes”. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878511 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 16:43:42 +0000 MamaBear87 2878511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>From a former babywearing educator, where you have a similar dilemma. Would love to let someone know xyz isn't safe. We always went the route of a compliment sandwich<br /> For instance "baby looks so cute today, but not sure if anyone has told you car seat straps should not be able to be pinched once tightened. I love her little booties!"<br /> Mom can basically focus on the compliments you've given while still getting info to make baby safer. Usually it works surprisingly well </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878507 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 16:18:50 +0000 catgirl 2878507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's definitely a hard thing to do. I struggle with this at my daughter's preschool - there is one kid who has a car seat that is installed incorrectly, but I haven't said anything because in the past it has pissed people off. If you do it I would definitely take a gentle approach or maybe ask the leader of the group if they would be willing to share some car seat info with people. </p> <p>But just as an FYI the two finger method is a bit of an outdated way to check (my fingers are a different size from DH's and a different size from my mom, etc.) The pinch test is a more accurate way to test tightness and is what has been taught to techs for awhile. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878503 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 16:08:02 +0000 paigeface 2878503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @graceandjoy I like this approach! I too like the more gentle approach. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878502 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 16:03:03 +0000 graceandjoy 2878502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This stuff is hard! In that instance, I wonder if you can go over and be like hey! Do you need help tightening the straps! I know those things are a beast! </p> <p>I hate confrontation so it's super hard for me to speak up unless I can find a really gentle/non-invasive way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878499 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 15:56:35 +0000 Mrsbells 2878499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePumps: I've learnt from experience that a lot of comments like that can come across as judgy. I personally would love to hear more after how I can keep my child safer but I wouldnt point out something like that to someone unless I was close to them because of how it might be perceived. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-you-tell-another-mom-carseat-harness-isnt-tight-enough#post-2878498 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 15:53:22 +0000 PurplePumps 2878498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, i dunno why this is still bothering me, but it is.<br /> I was at a new mom group today, and we were packing up to leave. The mom next to me put her 1 month old in the car seat and pulled the harness tight, but i could tell it wasn't snug and definitely was more than the 2 finger guideline. I didn't say anything cause i didn't know how well it'd be received, but i feel like i should have.<br /> I want to say something next time if i see it again, cause God forbid there's any accident and the child isn't safe. But how would you take it off someone pointed this out to you? Would you feel that person was overstepping? Or glad to be told this? </p>