https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 02:31:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-negative-assistant-teacher-at-preschool#post-2782188 Thu, 26 Oct 2017 11:00:36 +0000 lioneyes 2782188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ANOTHER UPDATE: we all got notes in the kids mailboxes today saying Monday will be this assistant teacher's last day as she is "voluntarily moving on".... Interesting for sure but makes me feel better. They also already have a new assistant lined up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-negative-assistant-teacher-at-preschool#post-2781945 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 13:11:55 +0000 Mrsbells 2781945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lioneyes: its tough to handle these kinds of situations. I think that for successful resolution you also need to address these things directly with the assistant teacher. People respond much better to these things when you speak to them directly (as uncomfortable as it may be) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-negative-assistant-teacher-at-preschool#post-2781914 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 11:29:34 +0000 lioneyes 2781914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all. I plan to speak to the Director after the next time I'm in class with the kids and can observe her behavior over the course of a full morning.<br /> I will say that yesterday at pickup, the assistant teacher came out and gave me a list she had made of all of the words/phrases she heard DS use, in case any of them were new to us. She definitely did that on her own (not at the therapist's suggestion I'm sure, she would have told me) and I do appreciate it. So I think it's really just her delivery that I'm taking issue with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-negative-assistant-teacher-at-preschool#post-2781848 Wed, 25 Oct 2017 07:20:16 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2781848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a similar experience recently. My 4yo moved up to the 4yo class with a new teacher (new to the daycare, he's been there for 2 years) and all of a sudden every day at pickup I was hearing how naughty he was, how many times he was in time out, how he wasnt "respectful" (he blew a raspberry at her, for example) etc. I only do pickup occasionally (I drop off before she gets in) and so my MIL was also hearing it, or occasionally my 15yo SIL would run into the school while my FIL waited in the car to pick up the kids and the teacher would also complain to her (and in front of my 6yo who goes there for aftercare). </p> <p>I ended up calling and having a phone conference with the director and asst director, who clearly did not know what the teacher was saying to us or how frequently she was being negative. I explained how inappropriate it was for her to complain about him in front of him + my older son, how she shouldnt say anything to my teenage SIL, and if there is truly a problem to give me a call or send an email or a note. They apologized for the teacher and for her tone (calling him naughty, etc) and explained that the asst director would start working directly with D to find a new strategy. That was a few weeks ago and the situation has improved a ton - they gave him and his buddies classroom chores to help with and for whatever reason that helps them stay focused. They also just accept that he wont nap and a different teacher takes him so he won't disturb the sleeping kids (instead of punishing him after he does).</p> <p>So, I think you should appeal to a higher authority (prob the director) and ask what their ideas are to improve the situation. The main teacher may also be frustrated and want parents to speak up so the assistants behavior can be dealt with. </p> <p>Good luck, I know this is stressful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-negative-assistant-teacher-at-preschool#post-2781830 Tue, 24 Oct 2017 21:28:21 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2781830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You should go to the director with your concerns. I've taught in various classroom settings, so I try to be generous with teachers, but this would bother me. I've had to have this type of conversation with the director of my son's preschool and it's not easy. I'd suggest really gathering your thoughts and having a goal for the conversation. Do you want to air your concerns? Do you want the teacher to be spoken to? Do you want tips on how to deal with the teacher day to day? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-negative-assistant-teacher-at-preschool#post-2781765 Tue, 24 Oct 2017 13:52:25 +0000 wrkbrk 2781765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with the above poster - talk to the director. It is her job to respond to feedback from parents and address teacher behaviors, assistant or not. Plus, as others have said, it sounds like a general issue that affects all of the kids, not just yours, so I think involving the director is appropriate. That's what I would do. Good luck. I am extremely sensitive about daycare teacher behavior because, like you, I very much rely on the people our son is with/depending on 9 hours a day while his parents work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-negative-assistant-teacher-at-preschool#post-2781735 Tue, 24 Oct 2017 12:41:11 +0000 codeitall 2781735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As others have said, this would also bother me. I don't have experience with larger daycares (we use an in-home) but I would definitely talk to the teacher and let her know that the assistant seems negative and it is affecting her treatment of your child in everyday situations and regarding his speech therapy. </p> <p>Perhaps she can't do anything like gingerbebe said, and in that case, escalate to the director. I don't think I'd directly approach the assistant, she may turn out to not just be negative but vindictive.</p> <p>If she's negative around all the kids, they can tell and things could start to go downhill in that classroom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-negative-assistant-teacher-at-preschool#post-2781520 Mon, 23 Oct 2017 16:40:24 +0000 gingerbebe 2781520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have a real problem with that kind of teacher because from the way you're describing it, she's got a bad attitude towards all the kids, not just your's. </p> <p>RE: that "too big" child. My 3 year old is 41" tall, just potty trained like 2 weeks after turning 3, and is slightly behind on speech. While I love my son's current teachers, I am very vigilant about how my son is treated because of these specific factors and constantly find myself telling people how he "just turned 3" or whatever so they don't put some unreasonable expectations on him. At his first daycare (that he started when he was 16 months old and basically nonverbal), other parents asked all the time why my son couldn't talk or wasn't potty trained or whatever because he was tall. They literally thought he was like 4 years old with learning disabilities. The daycare owner rightly defended him and would say "he's perfectly normal, he's only 1 year old!" Perhaps I'm sensitive because I was also very tall as a child and was constantly mistreated because people assumed I was older and more mature, but if I ever got a whiff of something like that from a teacher, I would nip it in the bud for sure. </p> <p>There's no reason for a teacher to yell at kids for perfectly normal things like pooping in a diaper or being age appropriately rowdy or playful. And I would for sure not appreciate an assistant weighing in on what is going on with the speech therapist unless the therapist asked. I would talk to the director, because I doubt the teacher could do anything about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-negative-assistant-teacher-at-preschool#post-2781519 Mon, 23 Oct 2017 16:35:10 +0000 kiddosc 2781519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would take everything you said in this post to the director and have a conversation about it. These are two year old children, they're going to have dirty diapers, be grumpy sometimes, and are still learning boundaries. If she can't handle that, then perhaps she needs more training, a move to a room with older children, or a to find a new profession. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-negative-assistant-teacher-at-preschool#post-2781510 Mon, 23 Oct 2017 16:07:54 +0000 lioneyes 2781510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS started a new playschool this Fall (he was enrolled in the camp this summer). I really like his main teacher- she is very warm and kind and amazing about keeping me in the loop and working with me on having our speech therapist come to school. The issue is one of the assistant teachers. She is SO negative.</p> <p>I have noticed this when I've been in class (the school is co-op, so I help out 1 morning/month)- she was complaining (to me? to the other assistant? to the air?) that one of the kids is "too big for the classroom" and they should call his mom because he's "having a day". While this child is pretty tall AND very mature, and there are kids who just turned 2 so they are physically a lot smaller, he was being totally fine and normal. Also, at pickup last week she started giving me the report of DS's day and made it sound like he had a bad day...but it was really because she had to change his diaper right before pickup (3/4 of the kids aren't potty trained and this is part of why they have 2 assistants).</p> <p>The bigger issue is the stuff the assistant says to the speech therapist/stuff the speech therapist sees, such as telling the speech therapist that DS has "no physical boundaries" (which neither of us have ever noticed) and today not letting the kids touch the bubblewand then getting angry when DS got upset, as well as yelling at another kid who needed their diaper changed and telling them "they better not sit down!"</p> <p>I already feel like the school is being super accommodating to us, but I don't know what I should do. She's an assistant teacher, so it's not a huge deal, but it still annoys me. When DS is away from me, I look to the people he's with to give me a report on his behavior to see if there's anything else we need to help him with besides speech, so hearing this negativity and then (maybe? but I think I do) having to take everything with many grains of salt is exasperating. I have been making a point to speak directly to his main teacher at pickup, but this assistant sometimes makes a point to come by and tell me something "bad". The teacher and the speech therapist communicate, both in person and over email; it's not the assistant's place to speak to her, I don't think.</p> <p>Sorry for the novel- WWYD? </p>