https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 14:23:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629502 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 18:23:16 +0000 tofuwad 2629502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a lot of bad experiences with this. One of my family members is a total bully. She believes that a certain amount of bullying is perfectly fine and I've never been able to get her to acknowledge when things go too far. For her there basically is no line because "they're just kids". It drives me absolutely insane. From her perspective she believes that what's wrong in these situations is that the younger child needs to learn to "have some self esteem" and "stand up for themselves" which to her means shoving back.</p> <p>To me it's clear she's a bully as an adult and sees her bullying as "standing up for herself" and not being a pushover. So she's teaching her kids to be the same. It's absolutely infuriating and I try to interact with her as little as possible. </p> <p>I've never been in that situation with a stranger, and I would simply have left the park and never gone back when that mother and daughter are present. Mostly because I'm so sensitive about this stuff from comstantly being made to look like an overly sensitive over reactive pushover because I don't think a 4 year old hitting a 1 year old is acceptable behavior. Ugh. My blood boils just thinking about this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629492 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 18:14:10 +0000 PinkElephant 2629492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: Ick. If she saw and didn't care, I just don't get it. :sad: You were right to take the higher road, because it sounds like anything else you said would have escalated the situation, but would have gotten you anywhere with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629463 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 17:39:47 +0000 catgirl 2629463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the insight every one. After talking to DH more he realized I did all I could do given the circumstances- he was just so upset by the whole thing he jumped to thinking there could've been another way to deal with it. </p> <p>I typically hate confrontation which is why I let it be after the two minor incidences but I just had to say something in the end. Just hoping we don't run into them again tomorrow. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629460 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 17:35:22 +0000 catgirl 2629460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: she definitely knew. I didn't post word for word our exchange because it was just so ridiculous. But she knew that she pushed her off - it was maybe 10 feet from where she was sitting. She just honestly didn't care or see an issue with it. Just kept repeating that's how kids learn and acted like I was the crazy person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629427 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 16:42:34 +0000 Mama Bird 2629427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd have (calmly, I hope) told the mom that since she can't be bothered dealing with her child's behavior, I will. And proceed to do just that. Sure, kids push sometimes, but one time there was a very similar situation at my playground. So when this kid pushed over my two year old so hard he hit his head, and ran away laughing, I chased him down and told him I'm watching him and I better not catch him again. If the parents didn't want anyone telling off their little precious, they should have made sure little precious was not beating up toddlers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629421 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 16:30:57 +0000 PinkElephant 2629421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did you specifically tell the other mom what her kids was doing? Is there ANY chance she missed it, and thought you were referring to something else? My reaction to people telling me that my daughter is doing something they perceive as dangerous to her (my daughter, not another child) - like hanging by her feet somewhere - is sometimes a mild "Thanks for telling me, but I think she's fine." I really really hope that there was SOME kind of misunderstanding and the parent didn't see her child being a bully and thought you were referring to some other behavior, because pushing around a baby....I just can't believe that she wouldn't care! Honestly, I don't know what else you could have done. :(</p> <p>The other day, an older kid (maybe 6) told me that my DD (who is 4) hit him and called him poopy. I didn't see it happen, and that wouldn't be very like her, so I wasn't going to scold her without knowing for sure based on a random kid's accusation. I just mildly said "DD1, this boy said you were hitting and calling names. You know better than to do those things." But if an ADULT told me my kid had done something really mean and unsafe? I'd believe them, and say something to her (my daughter) - and as another poster said, we'd be the ones leaving if she didn't apologize and shape up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629356 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 15:18:01 +0000 codeitall 2629356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, I would have left because I hate confrontation. Buuuuut, I'm pregnant and hormonal, so I may have worked myself up into doing the same thing as you! Clearly that mom was out of line and disengaged.</p> <p>After her comments about how kids learn, I probably would have told her that her child was endangering other children on the playground and was going to get someone hurt. Depending on her attitude, I may have gone mama bear and asked how/what her child would learn if someone twice her age pushed her off one of the tallest platforms. If she wasn't going to restrain her child, she needed to leave and if she didn't leave, I'd do just as @Coffee-lover and hover over my child playing while watching the other kid like a hawk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629343 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 15:08:44 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2629343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Only because I have time to think about it (I'm HORRIBLE at thinking on my feet), I would have asked if it would be ok for me to push her daughter off of a structure, or down a slide...because, afterall...that's how kids learn (insert HUGE eyeroll). </p> <p>Either that or I would have said, "or that's how your kid ends up being an entitled asshole." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629342 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 15:08:17 +0000 runnerd 2629342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>4 feet is a big fall for a 22 month old. I can't even comprehend her response. It takes a lot for me to confront another parent at the park - I've only done it once - but I would have lost my sh** at her response. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629336 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 15:02:56 +0000 rachiecakes 2629336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't police my son at the playground (he's 4.5) and I'm usually that mother reading a book or on the phone. BUT I do pay attention to what he's doing. If I missed something and someone told me he was doing that??? Nope. I would have scolded him, made him apologize to the child and mother and we would've been the ones leaving the park. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629332 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:57:08 +0000 MrsRcCar 2629332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have come unglued! You kept your composure much better then I. I am so sorry this happened to you and your LO. I am pretty hands off with playground things unless a child could get major hurt. So I would have gently reminded about being nice and careful but yeah pushing your LO off a 4 foot ledge. Nope better believe there would have been confrontation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629325 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:51:20 +0000 Coffee-lover 2629325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldhave confronted the other mom and when she didnt care I probably would have hovered over my kid and would go off on the other kid if she approached my daughter. Probably the wrong way to handle the situation, but its more than likely what would have happened. My husband will try to prevent me from stepping in in situations like these if he is around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629323 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:50:13 +0000 nana87 2629323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have done the same thing that you did--I don't think that there's anything more you can do. I've scolded kids on the playground before for being careless or too pushy with the younger kids, but usually it's because their caregiver is nowhere to be found. The "that's how kids learn" thing is complete bs with this age group--I can see maybe taking a step back once the kids are in elementary school or older, but my girl is 2.5 and I am her advocate until she's older, and her role model to show her how to be an advocate for herself as well </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629319 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:47:12 +0000 wheres_c 2629319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have probably ran my mouth at the point she said that's how kids learn and called her all sorts of sailor-names.<br /> So you probably did the right thing. Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629314 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:44:33 +0000 jhd 2629314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I probably would have left without confronting the other parent honestly. I hate confrontation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629309 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:43:03 +0000 looch 2629309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't have even engaged the parent, so you did a lot more than I would have had. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629284 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:26:31 +0000 Foodnerd81 2629284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have handled the same as you. "That's how kids learn"- maybe if it was like, fighting over who go to use the swing first. I will step in but I can appreciate the argument of letting them settle it themselves. But pushing a kid half her age off a ladder? No way. </p> <p>@yoursilverlining: I think plenty of kids act out their frustration with pushing like that, without the parents necessarily modeling that behavior. But I think most parents would put an end to it. If my kid was repeatedly pushing or bullying we would leave, end of story. She has, in fact, been kind of mean to a younger kid (jumping in front of her to grab the swing first, blocking her path on the bridge) and after two warnings we left with her kicking and screaming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629281 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:24:29 +0000 Adira 2629281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: Uhh... if he can't tell you what you should have done differently, then I'm not sure how he can say you didn't do enough! What more is there to do? If she doesn't care, there's no reason to stand there and berate her. I think teaching your daughter that sometimes you have to walk away is a good thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629279 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:23:37 +0000 mauxie 2629279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh! Wow! I think I would have done the same. Curious, how did your husband think you should have reacted? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629278 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:23:23 +0000 alphagam84 2629278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I absolutely would have said something to the mother, most likely after the second incident. And that mother sounds terrible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629277 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:22:52 +0000 catgirl 2629277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: @Adira: To clarify - he thinks I didn't do enough. That by dropping the conversation and leaving the playground I let it go and didn't handle it. But when I asked him what else I could possibly do when the mother simply didn't care he didn't have an answer. </p> <p>@erinbaderin: Exactly there was no lesson, unless you count her daughter learning she can be a bully with no consequences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629273 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:20:45 +0000 yoursilverlining 2629273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What does your husband disagree with / what would he have done?</p> <p>I think you handled it perfectly fine - I think if a kid is obviously being a bully several times over, it's totally appropriate to say something to the parent if you are comfortable doing that. I will say that it does NOT surprise me that the mother had that reaction - - most small kids who are aggressive &amp; bullying like that have learned that behavior somewhere. It's unfortunate, but not surprising. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629270 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:19:54 +0000 Adira 2629270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He disagreed with your actions?? What did he think you should've done differently?? I would've done the same thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629263 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:16:58 +0000 erinbaderin 2629263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wait, WHAT? That's how kids learn? Who is supposed to be learning a lesson, your baby? Is learning....that total strangers might push them off the play structure? What does your husband think you should have done? That is ridiculous and I have no idea what I would have done because all my immediate thoughts involve slapping the mother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629258 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:13:37 +0000 mediagirl 2629258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have spoken to the mother, as well. What a bitch. She totally should have stepped in, her daughter was bullying your kid. I'm sorry. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wwyd-playground-situation#post-2629252 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:09:44 +0000 catgirl 2629252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wondering what others would have done in this situation, sorry for the novel. </p> <p>DD (22 months) and I were at the playground this morning. When we got there as we were walking in a mother warned us to be careful of a girl being a bully - didn't think much of it. DD was running around playing and I saw a girl push her down the slide. I went over and nicely said "please don't push" to the girl, I'm guessing she was 4ish. A few minutes later DD was playing with these large drum things and the same girl came over and shoved her to the side, knocking DD down. The girl runs away when I try to say something to her. 10 minutes later DD was on the main structure and this girl came over and pushed her off the structure at a ladder opening - four feet of the ground! I run over to DD and the girl ran away. This whole time her mother is sitting on a bench on her phone. </p> <p>As soon as DD was calm and I felt she was okay, I approached the girl's mother to ask if she saw what was happening. She said yes but that's how kids learn. I was pissed at this point and kind of went off on her but could tell she didn't care. She had no intention of getting off the bench or talking to her daughter. At that point I gave up and DD and I left. </p> <p>I called DH when we left the playground because I was pissed. I told him what I did to handle it and he disagrees with my actions. Wondering what someone else would have done? </p>